they SHUSH me *

❛ my demons are begging me to open up my MOUTH. i n e e d them mechanically make the words come out they FIGHT me, vigorous and angry, watch them p o u n c e ignite me, licking at the flames they bring about i sold my SOUL to a three-piece && he told me i was h o l y he's got me down on both knees but it's the DEVIL that's tryna hold me DOWN

[a-crimsonmalice]

SEND A SYMBOL FOR MY MUSE’S REACTION TO YOURS:

▼ kissing them

♢ stabbing them

♞ shooting them

✖ punching them

➶ slapping them

☠ poisoning them

☎ hugging them

☂ picking them up

✗ bringing them alcohol

✣ bringing them food

☯ coming home late

♀ proposing marriage

[ofbrilliance-blog1]

&& wanda m.

Wanda Maximoff had never done well during hostile situations, especially now that she was gifted in the way she was. Pietro had always been the one to calm her. Wanda was angry, erratic, vengeful. Pietro held his grudges, but it was Wanda that acted on her anger when she felt threatened. The voice outside her door was very hostile, and Wanda felt a boiling rage fill her system as she listened to the endless, obnoxious drivel of the woman on the other side of her door. Who did these people think they were? Coming into her home, her only place of comfort, and telling her how it was? Her pain was all she had, now. Her pain was unbearable, uncontrollable. She was not going to bow to the whim of an insignificant mortal, human woman.

Wanda stood slowly as the woman went on about how she thought things would be. It was on the last word— “out,” the door was thrown open violently. Wanda stood where she was on the other side of the room, inches from her bed. Around the bed was clean, protected, but outside of the circle of safety was chaos. The room was destroyed, and merely because Wanda was in pain, Red light filled the space as Wanda’s anger seeped from her, psionic energy swirling dangerously around her fingers. “If you cannot stand the inhabitants of this tower, leave.” Wanda said slowly, her voice shaking with anger. 

      helen was a brilliant woman. extraordinary, amazing, genius—— they were all words that had been used to describe her in many cases in her life, and as egotistical as it might have seemed, she knew when to take a compliment where compliments were deserved. she was a scientist, a person who prided themselves off of their discoveries, and as such, she measured her growth in the miracles made. therefore, when she had been given the so rarely given title of ‘ brightest mind ‘ as one of the few in their generation, she had accepted it with grace. she was a brilliant woman, for god’s sake, it just tended to get lost in translation when the sleep deprivation got to her head, and her blood stream threatened to pump more caffeine than blood through her veins. 

      so as brilliant as she may have been, it led to her putting her foot down on cases where she should have known to yield, and spewing more nonsense where she should have known to keep her mouth SHUT. ‘   OR, how about this. you go and learn some manners to living in a shared building, or i will file a goddamn COMPLAINT to the owner of this tower. ’  she would, she really, really would. not that she approved of the idea of depending on others for every little thing in one’s life, but even helen knew which battles to pick ——and this? staring at the MESS of a woman before her, furniture and precious literature ( god, how COULD she? those poor, poor books ) strewn around in a poor display of uncontrolled emotions, she knew this was not a battle she would bother getting her hands dirty for. besides, as she stared at the magic leaving the enhanced before her in waves of crimson red, she knew when she was outmatched, and smart enough to twist the stakes so they lay in her favour.

[wordsdancemag]

Don’t you dare, for one minute, believe that my kindness makes me anything but insurmountable. I did not unzip my chest to every kind of hurt, and stagger back, wounded and alive, just to hear you call me weak for trying.

Ashe Vernon (aka latenightcornerstore), from her poem, Softness, in Words Dance 16. (via wordsdancemag)

[ofbrilliance-blog1]

&& spencer s.

’ the jury’s still out on that one, doc. ’ he replied, tucking his hands back into his pockets and beginning to walk. however, he was joking. spencer knew well what helen was, and admired her greatly – not because of physic powers, but because of sheer ability. helen cho was EXACTLY what spencer knew he could never be. she was the other side of the spectrum, completely his opposite. if anything, he was lucky to have her. not the other way around. he may not remember those first days and weeks he spent with her, he knew he was lucky that she was the one who picked up his case file. spencer had an natural ( no .. it wasn’t natural, it was just as artificial, created by the same monsters, as he was ) distaste for scientists – a reflex ingrained in him from a different time .. but helen made it easier. simply put – he trusted her, and trust was not something that came easily to him. 

he nodded, her words helping him relax. even if it was a JOKE – spencer did worry about the possible repeats he was burdening her with. ‘ that’s good to hear, ’ he replied nodding, shifting his weight and looking out at the expanse before them. the city was falling. ‘ we should probably aim to get to the tower. ’ he squinted into the bright sun, looking at the tower in the distance – setting the goal in his mind. ‘ i’m sure tony’s already got a IDEA of what to do, and we might want to get back in time for you to redirect him to something more reasonable. ’

      looking back on their history, helen could still remember how their first meeting had gone. from the way spencer had looked at her for the first time with the same, b l a n k expression most others still received to this very day, she remembered feeling the slightest of shivers run up her spine at seeing eyes with nothing behind them. after all, growing up as a woman who truly DID believe that the eyes were windows to the deeper soul, or at the very least a tell for how they might have been feeling, the idea of seeing NOTHING where there ought to be something —— ANYTHING. it had been an experience, to say the least.

      it was what made her friendship with spencer seem so precious now. knowing that they had come to trust one another enough, that spencer deemed her not only a good doctor, but a good COMPANION. they had come so far from where they once started, and so looking at the ruins before them, she knew she had found her reasons to fight. if saving the remains of humanity wasn’t a motivation enough, she would do it for those whom she loved —— because she too had people to care for, and wanted to see after the war was over and done with.

      ‘   oh gods ———— you’re right. i don’t even want to IMAGINE what tony stark thinks is a good solution for an alien apocalypse.  ’  nor did she find the idea of staying on the ground where the creatures continued to roam a good idea.   ‘   shall we stick to the back streets then? it might give us more a cover, and we’re less likely to run into any stragglers.   ’    considering the fact that she couldn’t actually FIGHT, and she’d be damned if she let spencer take any hits for her.

[hongbyn]

[ofbrilliance-blog1]

&& wanda m.

Word got out quick about Wanda’s condition. She didn’t hide it very well, her wailing haunting the halls of the Tower late in the night, as the nightmares that plagued her dreams escalating quickly every time. She saw flashes of memory every night, always the same. Dreams were such an interesting thing― they included feeling and images and thoughts. Wanda’s dreams included such strong emotion, especially when it came to dreams about her lost brother, Pietro. In the night, things around her room would move, her telekinetic gift working against her wishes. She would wake in the morning to thrown books, broken vases and pictures knocked from the walls. She was a danger, a hazard to every person in the building. She never left her room, afraid to hurt someone in her distress.

A small part of her was happy to know that there were people outside of her room that were trying their hardest to begin to help and console the young witch. She received gifts, visitors came knocking regularly, and there were some who would stand outside of the door, thinking to her, knowing she could hear them in her mind. But it was to no avail, she wouldn’t let anyone in to help. She wouldn’t hurt someone again. How could she even think to let someone in when she couldn’t even control her own mind? Wanda just wanted to deal with her demons by herself. Some suggested therapy, using words like PTSD and scarred. Some were becoming tired of being woken to her screams in the night, Pietro Maximoff’s name echoing throughout the halls. Soon, her doorknob jiggled wildly in the night, waking her from her nightmares. People banged, they tried to get in to help her, but were thwarted. Her door was locked, she never wanted anyone to see her at her weakest point. The only one able to see it was Pietro. And he wasn’t there. 

She sat on the bed as another tried to get in, wiping the tears from her cheeks as her rough, wavering voice called out to whomever was on the other side of the door. “G-go!” she shouted, absentmindedly tossing a book at the door as she covered her face. The flash of red that carried the book lit the room for a moment, but the room went dark as the book reached it’s desination. She took a deep breath, her hands shaking as she pressed them to her eyes. “I’m fine!”

      the thing was, helen cho wasn’t normally like this: with her socks mismatched, her sweater too many sizes too large ( god, was it even hers?  ———— probably not ), and her pants sporting rips that were obviously unintentional; everything about her appearance destroyed whatever effortless grace she had once been known for. where a plethora of scientists and others in her profession had once forsaken appearance for the discovery of new miracles one day at a time, helen had embraced the idea of not only changing the world, but looking goddamn GOOD while doing so. she had been known for always looking put together, eyes shining with brilliance, always brilliance, and for bringing a breath of fresh air with her when she entered musky labs full of three days old food and rotting scientists who had forgotten that there was a life beyond. 

      ——then again, that had all been before THANOS had invaded, bringing with him an army of aliens and wave after wave of destruction. therefore, with herself, along with a handful of others left behind as earth’s brightest minds, the last thing she had to worry about was the way she LOOKED. she had people to save and the injured to tend to, and between it all, she needed to think of the options they had left on the table to keep the human race going. from what she had seen, and from what she had heard, there weren’t too many of them left, compared to what had once been, and she knew that all resources had to be turned to rescuing the remainder on the ground. 

      for helen, that had translated to long nights full of brainstorming and arguing and trying to do better. sat at a table, bouncing ideas off one another, bruce’s solemn eyes and tony’s quiet anger echoed like ghosts in her mind, haunting her footsteps as she made her way to her room. over the years, after working alongside the other two geniuses, and getting to know them as people, she had come to care for them. so to see them at such lows, to see everyone so beaten down, it was taking its toll on her. and god—— did she ever know it. it had taken everything in her, and some insistent arguing with both geniuses, but as her eyes glossed over and her hands began to shake over her notes, they had all agreed it was time for her to get some rest. 

      or that had been the PLAN, at least, lying in bed as she waited for sleep to come. but as a scream shook her from her light dozing for the fourth time that night, it was up in the fucking AIR. she was already running on a lack of sleep and an endless supply of caffeine alone, and so the idea of someone getting in the way of her and her sleep? unacceptable. absolutely UNACCEPTABLE. a fact that she made very clearly known as her fist banged angrily against the door the held behind it the bane of her fucking existence as it was.   ‘   HEY —— hey, LISTEN. i’m really glad you’re all fine and dandy but i am NOT. some of us are trying to sleep in this fucking tower and that’s not happening with your god-awful caterwauling. either learn to respect shared living spaces or move OUT.   ’   any other time, helen would have felt awful for being so rude, but she was tired, and she had had ENOUGH.

[mavencalore]

moodboard ♡ sophistication.

[theliteraryjournals]

Everything interests me,          but nothing holds me.

Fernando Pessoa, The Book of Disquiet (via theliteraryjournals)

[ofbrilliance-blog1]

&& bucky b.

      WHAT HAD HE BEEN THINKING ?  he recalls the fluttering in his stomach as he’d almost slipped off the edge, and tells himself never a-fucking-gain. bucky only has a few seconds to revel in the sturdy slab of concrete beneath his back when he hears the echo of approaching footsteps grow louder until stopping completely. he opens his eyes and it’s HELEN CHO looking down at him. her little comment rouses a chuckle from him, eyes crinkling as his laughter fades into a tiny grin. 

       ❝ guess i’ll never learn, doc. ❞ he sits up then– except this time, his back is turned to the city. bucky has to strain his neck a bit to look up at her. he and helen may not be very close although she may very well may be one of his favorite people in this entire goddamn building. the fact that she spoke to him like an actual person– not like the weapon hydra had tried making him out to be or worse, the frightened animal he had been while still piecing together who he was three years back– is enough. not to mention how easily she’d just cracked a joke about his DEATH in ‘43. 

       bucky decides to look over his shoulder, leaning over the edge where he’s met with the same view from seconds earlier as if to prove his point to the doctor. same crumbling concrete. same HORRIFIC distance from the ground. ❝ what do you think the chances are i lose ANOTHER arm ? if what i’ve been told is true, we’ve got a shitstorm heading our way. might do me some good if i’ve got TWO metal arms, huh ? ❞ though he’s turning back around in a beat, bracing a palm against the floor to haul himself onto his feet. now, rather than straining his neck to look up at her, bucky has to tilt  his down to meet helen’s eyes. 

          ❝ you don’t really have to answer that. ❞ he assures with a tilt of his head and a shrug of his broad shoulders as if dismissing the joke entirely. ❝ –but uh, not that i don’t enjoy you hounding me and my dumb ass down, is there anything you NEED, doc ? ❞

      in her opinion, sergeant james buchanan barnes was something of a conundrum. with countless years of her life spent in dedication to the witness of human phenomenons, whether it meant in the lab or abstaining from, helen had seen her fair share of miracle cases and unbelievable tales. from mutants to other worldly beings, to discoveries in both the magical and scientific field, no one in their right mind could deny her claim to being well versed. helen cho knew EXTRAORDINARY———— and yet, if anyone were to ever stop her and ask what case she considered to be the most remarkable, to this day she knew her answer would not change. 

     regardless of whatever creature or powers the world ( or that outside of ) threw her way, it would never change the fact that the case of james barnes, the winter soldier, was still the most phenomenal she’d ever read up on —— never mind experienced. after all, it was one thing to discover what had never been discovered before. to find that there was more to the universe than simply yourselves, or more than just MAN on earth, but it was another story entirely to take a simple human life, and to drag it through experience and hardship the way she knew the sergeant had suffered. suffered and survived. his tale told one of a simple man, persevering in ways only a human soul COULD, and if that wasn’t what it meant to inspire, she wasn’t sure what was.

      then again, as the sergeant repeated the same action of dangling himself out the gap in the wall, perhaps the age was catching up to him at this point.   ‘  sergeant —— do you know what some people call insanity? ... they say it’s when someone does the same action over and over again, only to expect different results. and you know, they might be right for all i know, i’m sure they have their reasons. but even more so, i guarantee you the biggest sign of insanity is leaning out the giant hole in the wall you nearly JUST fell out of. AGAIN.   ’   and goodness, for a man who was pushing a century of life experience ( or perhaps that was unfair of her, considering his situation ) he was still remarkably good at being infantile in his stupidity.

     ‘   please—— for your own sake, and if not, captain rogers’ at the very least, keep your other arm attached. he gets jittery enough as it is when he thinks you’ve been dealt some sort of injury. i’d hate to think of how he’d be if he knew you’d lost your other arm. believe it or not, you do only have two of them, sergeant.   ’   right then, what had been her intentions again?   ‘   well, before our eye opening chat, the plans had been to reach my labs ... you haven’t found any working lines of communication yet, have you? i’d hate to think my trek up the stairs was all in vain at this point.   ’

[ofbrilliance-blog1]

&& spencer s.

anyone else might have found helen’s particular approach UNSETTLING, but spencer found a strange comfort in her words. he had done this before, and he could do it again. it didn’t make it better, not really, but it reminded him that this wasn’t a new concern. HE HAD LIVED WITH IT BEFORE. a small smile played at his lips, thankful for her unique brand of reassurance. friendship was a difficult thing for spencer, but he was glad to have her around.‘ you know what i meant, helen. ’ he was certain, despite a lack of proof, they must have had a similar conversation before. 

‘ does it get boring talking to me ? ’ he asked, the smile getting a little bit larger, hoping to make her smile, even be it at his expense, ‘ i’m aware it’s COMPLETELY possible i just keep asking you the same thing over and over. like a little kid who just keeps asking why. ‘ 

     when the news of a new enhanced ( —— mutant, or so she had to remind herself time and time again ) had first reached those in her lab, helen hadn’t given the idea much thought. with her days spent living in close quarters and constant exposure to the world’s ‘ mightiest heroes ‘ and whatever brand of crazy they dragged in behind them, helen KNEW weird. hell, her life’s work was based on the weird. so another up and coming mutant hitting the streets? another name signed to the accords? it just hadn’t been a priority. how could it be? when she had millions of other projects to work on, and so many other cases to solve. a brilliant mind meant more WORK, and less play, unlike some other, flashier engineers that she would save the embarrassment and leave unnamed ( though her thoughts were tinged with a s p e c i a l kind of endearment ) and so spencer smith, as great as mutants could be, had been pushed to the back burner of her thoughts. ————  that was of course, until she had figured out who the new mutant was, and god, what he could DO.

    spencer smith had certainly been nothing like she had expected, and yet, as she sat with his, recalling and remembering, more than anything she KNEW she had lucked out to land with him of all people while the world crumbled down.   ‘   or so you SAY. i’m a scientist, spencer, not a psychic.   ’    and though her words came accompanied by a small roll of her eyes, her tone remained just as light hearted; showing she meant no actual offence.   ‘   it’s sweet of you to care for my interest levels, but i promise. i’ve done the whole kids and their questions thing —— i have two nephews, and you are much, much easier to deal with. if you have questions, ask them, please. it’s better than you always having to second guess something i could help you confirm. i promise i don’t mind.. if i did, you’d know.   ’

[ofbrilliance-blog1]

❝ ┊HELEN CHO  ◆ AESTHETICS

i enjoy being told i’m beautiful, who doesn’t ? but if you want to REALLY flatter me, tell me i’m intelligent, tell me i’m thoughtful and kind,tell me i’m genuine. i was given my beauty, but i CREATED who i am.

[jennifergarner]

[ofbrilliance-blog1]

&& spencer s.

spencer stood on the bridge, looking over the silent chaos below him. it was one thing to experience such a word changing event. it was quite another TO KNOW YOU WOULD NEVER BE ABLE TO TRULY REMEMBER IT. spencer was always functioning, always SURVIVING, but never at the same level of those around him. soon, everything that happened, every battle he fought, EVERYTHING would be just a story. he would never know exactly which details were true. 

‘ i’m not sure .. ‘ he trailed off, looking from the distance to the person next to him. it seemed so wrong to even bring up, when everything else was the way it was. a large and calloused hand was run through already messy hair, and the man let out a sigh, shaking his head. he looked back into the distance, trying to arrange his thoughts – something that always proved difficult. 

                       ‘ it’s like there was no before. nothing any of us did before .. it’s gone. ’

     when the end of the world came ( or so the vast amounts of fleeing citizens claimed it to be ) helen cho dug in her heels and faced it the same way she did most things in her life —— with terrifying degrees of efficiency. sure, it would have been much easier to panic, and the population more than likely would have appreciated that EVERYONE be as stupidly hysterical as they all were, if only to make their own anxiety justified, but when things went to shit, there had to be the people who rolled up their sleeves and got to work in fixing it. it was by no means looking out to be an easy job, but she had survived more than one insane attack in her life, and she would survive this one just the same. 

    at least, as she eyed her solemn companion beside her, this time she wasn’t set up to face things alone.   ‘  you say that like it’s the end of the world or something.   ’   or perhaps that was a bit insensitive of her.   ‘  sorry ... too soon? ————  it’s just. you’re talking like this is it or something ... like it’s over. everything that’s gone can be rebuilt, you know? it’s just a matter of engineering and effort. cities have fallen before, that doesn’t mean they have to stay destroyed.   ’

[ofbrilliance-blog1]

&& bucky b.

      there’s this spot in the tower, on the fifty-somethingth floor where half of the giant windows had simply shattered, leaving this giant gaping hole and ledge stretching for a good number of feet that bucky can sit at. he’d cleared up all the shards of glass hours ago– now, it serves as a perfect little looking spot. his legs dangle precariously over the edge and he swings them a little just because he can. all the while bucky squints at the horizon with a crease between his brows, watching the sun settle beneath the ruined city skyline. shadows begin to creep into the empty remains of the street.

     there’s… this tune that’s stuck in bucky’s head. he can’t quite remember the words, or even the entirety of the song, but he hums the tiny bits that have been nagging him all afternoon. as the darkness begin to envelop the city, bucky takes the liberty of looking down–past his swinging legs to the distant, battered concrete alone. he maybe leans just a little farther until–

     ❝ shit ! –  ❞ there’s half a second where bucky’s stomach flips and he’s just a hair from completely falling off the ledge until he’s sliding back. there are little impressions on the floor from his metal fingers.  ❝  jesus, mary, joseph…  ❞ he curses in a murmur, falling onto his back. now his ankles and feet are the only part of him not touching the ground. bucky screws his eyes shut for a few moments, long enough for his heartbeat to stop fluttering in his ears.

      of course, after the aliens had invaded ( and here she had thought being kidnapped and mind controlled by ULTRON was a strange experience ) of all the things to go out of power were the goddamned elevators. understandably, for anyone who lived in a regular apartment building, or only had a few floors to climb, not having an elevator in use would have been the last of their worries, but for someone who lived and made their base of operations stark tower, of all places, elevators were KIND OF a necessity. she swore, after huffing and puffing her way through the past seven floors, as somewhere around the fortieth had been the last to have an operational elevator, as soon as this whole mess was over, she was hitting the gym and making use of a stair climber. 

     —— then again, as she stopped for a short breather, why BOTHER, when she could simply make use of climbing to her labs every morning to get a workout out of the way. sure, so she knew she wasn’t the most ACTIVE person, per se, but as she let out another heavy exhale, even she had to admit that maybe her lack of exercise was a bit too obvious. but who could blame her? it wasn’t HER fault that there were discoveries to be made, and genius works to be done. honestly, if anything, blame was to be had at the lack of time in her schedule, and the fact that tinkering around her workplace was just so much more interesting than running laps on a treadmill, or trying to bench press her weight in kilos. 

      with that thought in mind, and the prize of reaching the floors where her lab ( and hopefully working communications ) were situated, she made it through the next few set of stairs. as she muttered a quiet count down under her breath with each new success ‘ twenty three, twenty two, twenty one —— wait a minute. stopping short of taking another step as she squinted towards the quite frankly TERRIFYING glass-less sea of what should have been windows. though on any other occasion the fear of falling would have kept her moving even faster, the figure seen swaying in the wind, only to STUMBLE and almost fall to their DEATH had her pausing, then inching closer as she watched a familiar face lay flat on their backside, having stared death in the face only seconds prior. 

      ‘   ...sergeant barnes —— as much as i’d hate to dictate how you live your life. as a doctor, i can’t in good faith recommend you stay so close to the giant hole in the wall. i’m sure you, of all people, know the consequences that come with FALLING.  ’

[fuckyeahladiesofthemcu-deactiva]

[niayeon]

[taeyeohn]