Not Great feels about Mother's Day
I have abandonment issues with both my parents. Was raised being told and exposed to big family and closeness and the importance of loving each other, etc... until I was 18 and maybe it's just that I was now an adult, but they've both pulled away - time to live their own lives not being parents, I guess?
my mom... it was after she had to help take care of her mom in her final days (didn't get as bad as some people experience) and then was there to be present during the assisted suicide (grandma had cancer and wanted to go on her terms before losing her agency) - that mom just decided to sell her house and move to a different city (2.5 hours drive over mountains) and then not talk to me more than occasional texts. - and I wonder how much of it is my gender presentation and choosing to change my name. But can't tell, because she's always been science minded and progressive compared to most boomers.
I think she thinks that since she resented how much her mom demanded her attention, that she's doing me a favor by not giving me any attention? She has informed me that I'm the one who, when/if she's in a state she can't make a medical decision, that I am to tell them to let her go. fine. I can do that. but freaking wow.
I always send flowers on mother's day because if I forget, I get a guilt trip, but this year I didn't even get a text saying they were received.
Sent one saying Happy Mother's Day, hope the flowers arrived. - short response. She's talking to chat bots. I am not okay with this. - Getting ready to start (even more) grieving my loss before she's even dead.