my milkshakes bring all the boys to the yard

My hobbies include gossiping and Perez Hilton. I aspire to be like him, and will be doing my own personal celebrity ratings! Currently in 5 committed relationships

[officialcelimene]

Justin Bieber. The one celebrity who inevitably always gets talked about, and never in a good way. The one you hope your children don't idolize over. What happened to the sweet baby Justin he once was? Took a wrong turn in an alleyway to perfect popstar, grew a pornstache, got several tattoos, and went to jail for drugs and drinking is what happened. All I can say is that's he an embarrassing little punk running through the streets, and that he may have been... alright when he was younger, but he's a cocky, ignorant, prick (with a hot bod, I'll give him that) now.

Past celebrity rating: 7/10

Current celebrity rating: 1/10

[officialcelimene]

Me. Again. So many songs are out that describe me so well, you know? This time, Lady Gaga depicts my feelings about boys (boys boys), and how you just gotta love them all. Too much of a variety to miss out on any! They're also great for gossiping with/about ;) x

[officialcelimene]

Harry Styles has undoubtedly captured millions of girls' hearts. Mine included. He's definitely one popstar I'd love to try my flirting techniques on, because this girl got game. He's talented, kind, intelligent, hilarious, and attractive, what more could anyone else want? He was dreamy when he was 17, and he's dreamy now.

Past celebrity rating: 10/10

Current celebrity rating: 10/10

Side Note - Alceste, please don't get too jealous.

[officialcelimene]

How Dare She

Arsinoe says I have no self-respect? Well, she "lets the world believe that she's a prude,To justify her loveless solitude, And strives to put a brand of moral shame, On all the graces that she cannot claim". I'm calling her out on her insecurity, and I'd like to see her say I have no self-respect one more time... Why doesn't she understand that, "There's a season for love and another for prudishness, and we may consciously choose the latter when the hey-day of our youth has passed—it may serve to conceal some of life's disappointments."

[glamorousgossip]

I fear Celimene does not return my affections. if my heart is kind enough to burn for her, she owes me something in return.

[officialcelimene]

Oh, sweet Acaste, “Doubts are more cruel than the worse of truths,” so I completely understand. If you wish for a signal of my love and friendship in return of your affections, I say let's go on a trip. NYC Fashion Week 2014, perhaps? We can hit up Chanel and BCBGMAXAZRIA. I'll show you of my affections then.

[officialcelimene]

Will you read my poem? Alceste says it sucks, but who is he to tell me that, right?

Your poem was beautiful. Don’t let mean old Alceste ruin your fun. Hypothetically speaking, even if your poem was bad, it’s okay because you have a stellar personality. So if I did say it was bad, you would keep loving me - forget the haters cause somebody loves ya, right? Never forget, One can be well-bred and write bad poetry.

[arseenoway]

i do not care about her or anyone she is involved with, i’m not so interested as you suppose in Celimene’s discarded gigolos. Her provocative ways are not to my liking.

[officialcelimene]

Excuse me, Arsinoe? Ever heard of letting loose? You're so uptight, you can't see what you think is unlawful as nothing more than casual conversation. "Age brings about everything; but it is not the time, Madam, as we know, to be a prude at twenty." You're never going to get a man, and your conservative ways are to no ones liking. “The world will not alter for all your meddling.”

[officialcelimene]

The Waitresses have literally put the essence of Celimene into a song. This song purely defines me! I just know everything about boys, what’s there not to understand? 80’s music is fab.

[officialcelimene]

Tips For Everyone (but me) On Flirting

We've all had that moment where we were having trouble wooing our dream guy/gal, even me (a long long long time ago). I understand what it's like being confused and dreadfully challenged (Eliante and Arsinoe), but with my help and these incredibly accurate tips, you can conquer the male species. I'm here to improve the image of women, so dunces and the befuddled alike (Eliante and Arsinoe), will eventually show their true potential through my generosity.Get to it, ladies!

[officialcelimene]

Your milkshakes DO bring all the boys to the yard. Luckily for you, I have a bat to hit away all of your other suitors because it is only I that you love, love.

Thanks for the compliments on my hoohas, though how many times are you planning on messaging me? Your love is so obvious. Luckily for you, I love your concern and your love, love.

[officialcelimene]

Do you have a Band-Aid? Because I just scraped my knee falling for you.

Oh, Alceste. If you're going to use a pickup line, do it right: Is your daddy a Baker? Because you've got a nice set of buns! Now that's more like it - step up your game, darling.

[officialcelimene]

Hey Celimeniac, wanna grab brunch and do some shopping/ catching up (on other people's lives of course) xoxo

Hey there, Clitandre, I would love to catch up! I'll get back to you when I find space in my schedule.. maybe next month? Keep on gossiping ♡.

[clitandrama]

Gossip Girl is my spirit animal…xoxo

[officialcelimene]

So me. Have I told you you're super relatable, lately? I love that quality about you. We should totally have a Gossip Girl marathon soon. xx

[officialcelimene]

Old Miley was such a gem. Her outfits were on point, her hair was adorable, and she could even hold up a husband... now she’s a mess. Girl gone wild, and not in a good way. Crazy for attention? More like just plain crazy.

Past celebrity rating: 9/10

Current celebrity rating: 3/10

[officialcelimene]

Vintage ad for Chanel Beauty, 1981.

Loveeeee♡♡