Certified most British news network

You can call me News!! I go by any pronouns, bonus points if you can think of some news related neos. This is a gimmick blog and my main, I do not separate in character posting and ooc, I simply post whatever I think is funny. 🙂‍↕️ I am not affiliated, associated, authorized, endorsed by, or in any way officially connected with BBC News. PLEASE DON'T SUE ME IRL BBC NEWS

[officially-bbc-news]

I'm not normal about BBC News. Sorry chat.

[homunculus-argument]

Suggestions on savoury/meat dishes you can make with apples as an ingredient? I think I could make some sort of a sauce out of them.

[officially-bbc-news]

apple mayonnaise?

[the-unofficial-news]

IF ANYBODY HAS INFORMATION ON WHERE THE NEWS ORACLE IS, WE NEED IT BACK PLEASE WE CANT MAKE NEWS WITHOUT IT

[officially-bbc-news]

Oracle? You mean the thing we accidentally turned into croissants on our cooking channel?

[maryland-officially]

mrowo

[the-unofficial-news]

i didn't know a state could do that i feel like this could be a news story

[maryland-officially]

mrawo mrow mawo mrowo

[the-unofficial-news]

@the-official-news I think you're up we're missing the oracle which writes our news stories

[officially-bbc-news]

Breaking News!

US states capable of cat noises?

This is just in! We have been recieving endless reports since early this morning with the public demanding an answer after US state Maryland was caught on live television apparently meowing. Our experts (*camera cuts to Mark the unpaid intern with a book about cat behaviour*) have investigated this shocking discovery, but no further information has been found. Science seems so far unable to explain how Maryland is capable of meowing, and no cats have come forward to explain. If you are a cat and you would like to shed further light on this enigma, message [insert phone number] to help in our investigations.

More updates coming to you live from BBC news.

[officially-bbc-news]

bbc/itv call that bbtv

(I couldn't think of anything better I'm so sorry but bbtv canon)

BBC x ITV, call that.. Ofcom Violation?

[coconut-rat]

Get to know me game! Rules: answer only what you're comfortable sharing <3

Tagged by @macabrevampire yayyy!

Name: Coco or Rat (my actual name is Emilia but I just love nicknames sigh)

Age: Over 18

Relationship status: single

Sexuality: broadly aroace

Followers: 41! Awesome!

Fav friends/mutuals: @thepoolsystem @macabrevampire @stardustchimera @hexedvampire @wife < the ones I see in my notes often/have interacted with :>

Birthday: April 21st (!)

Fav song: currently it's Send Me An Angel by Real Life, but of all time it has to be We Will Commit Wolf Murder by of Montreal

[wolfinatorv]

woag.... I'm one of your favorites...............

name: Wolfinator/Wolfie (Vivian works but only if you know me like, irl)

age: I'm a freshie 🤑🤑🤑🤑🤑

relationship status: I'm taken by my s/o (sadly they are not on tumblr)

sexuality: bisexual :3

my friends!! (Also called goons on mafia occasions): @glittorisgirl @biggesttwokinn22 @rexdoorr @d4ed4lu5 @karigeyik @corviddragon96 @blvvdykissesxo* @wishiwasahorse

*that one is my sibling, not yet considered a goon but IS on the list.

[corviddragon96]

Name: not saying real one but y'all can call me Corvid

Age: nope

Relationship status: single and glad

Sexuality: pansexual! possibly aromantic too? still questioning it

Followers: uhhhhh *checks notes* 44!

Awesome mutuals (if ur not on this list ur still cool! just that i was either to lazy to putcha or we haven't rlly interacted that much): @wishiwasahorse @rawrdragonblah @wackyandgoofy @wolfinatorv @lutrimus @weirdbroski

Birthday: March 17th!

Fav song: currently is uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh ive been listening a lot to Human by Flavor Foley! also i rlly like 2MUCH2BEAR from five nights at frickbears 3

[wishiwasahorse]

name: ITS A MYSTERY 👻👻👻 but you can just call me horse idgaf

age: not old.

relationship status: single and glad

sexuality: bisexual????? genuinely have no idea its not very important to me tbh

followers: uhm gimme a sec… 28 followers! great.

fav mutuals: @corviddragon96 @niktokof @wolfinatorv @appleor-man @politewizrddemon (if you arent in this list, i still think ur cool its just that we haven’t interacted much)

birthday: January 18th!

fav song: currently its Peaches by The Presidents Of the United States uhhh i also like Bird Cowboy by Mummy Joe (yes i listen to both of these unironically. they make me feel very happy and cool)

[niktokof]

woag so coolio. i'm still sleeping by the way it's just my tummy hertz and yuh.

name: Egor. haven't thought of a new name yet, it just fits me right as of now.

age: youngling ( <18 )

relationship status: single and glad

sexuality: like. idk. probs asexual. is there such a thing as panromantic? but yeah i got no idea.

followers: last time i checked i had around 160

fav mutuals: all of them. because i don't have favourites... but(t)... @rickythegreenbean @wright-official @beatrixie12 @agendermarimba @fatelosingitspatience @harbinger-of-silly @i-eattidepods @fishthebassistrawrxd @fish-with-autism @maddiegayashell and @weedleysnumberonefan would probably be my top 10 or something (in no particular order)

borthday: 18th of November

fav song: there's a lot. one of them is FUNKAHOLIC by Proux and Discoholic

[harbinger-of-silly]

Ooih... I'm favourite mutual...🥹😭

Name: on internet it's mostly Silly

Age: just got birthed

Relationship status: single (questionable feelings about that)

Sexually: I don't know anymore 😭😭😭

Favourite mutuals: heyyy gang~ @goldenbunny30 @abra-ca-deadbra @jonotar-thetyranitar @ech0shards @rice-w0lf @king-of-oreo @velocigrippers <3 <3 <3

Birthday: 15th (it's gonna be) May

Favourite song: currently it's Fear of God by Curta'n Wall, of all time it's Military Fashion Show by And One

[rice-w0lf]

Yayy I’m a fav!! ^_^

Name: on the internet it’s usually Rice

Age: almost adult yayyayaya

Fav mutuals: @harbinger-of-silly @goldenbunny30 @tetraquark373

Eh that’s all I’ll answer :3

[goldenbunny30]

Hm.

Name: irl gb or Juno or whatever I steal names

Age: under 18

Relationship status: single

Sexuality: aroace

Followers: 345

Fav friends/mutuals: @harbinger-of-silly @chaimydrink @a-very-humanyes @rice-w0lf @bubble-official @ovloppy @themicroweman @no-one-offical @laciffo-natas :]

[laciffo-natas]

Name: Natas, although I do have three other names and use names of my fictkins sometimes

Age: 15

Sexuality: Gay, aroacespec (fictorose/vallisrose+cupio)

Followers: 1612 I believe

Fav friends/mutuals: @holy-roman-empire-official @do-not-u-dare @officially-bbc-news @no-one-offical

Birthday: February 27th

Fav song: 0801 by Stray Kids, Highway 1009 or Bite Me by Enhypen, although at the moment I'm quite fond of Fire (My Sweet Misery) by Xdinary Heroes

[officially-bbc-news]

Name: News, or Morgan, or Connie (short for Confirmation Bias because I thought it would be funny)

Age: 103 (I'm not telling, go my internet safety)

Sexuality: Unlabeled, alternatively: gay but even I don't know what that means because I don't have a gender, aroallo.

Followers: 336 last time I checked?

Fav friends/mutuals: Dear lord there's gonna be a lot sorry for the tags. @international-electromatics, @flowersgrowingthroughthecracks, @weedleysnumberonefan, @teleqwennevision, @hadesbestgod, @chaoticandlucky, @londons-best-thief-official @killer-offical and like. Every single one of mutuals. I can't tag you all unfortunately 🙂‍↕️

Birthday: April 27th (I literally could've been born on 18th October (anniversary of the bbc being founded) and I wasn't and I'm so deeply bitter about it/j)

Fav song: I have no clue. I've been mainly listening to femtanyl, Ghost and Caro Emerald recently if that helps?

[doctor-official]

@centers-for-disease-control can I please have my job back I won't perform a evil evil rituals anymore

[centers-for-disease-control]

I gotta get at least a pinky promise before I let you back

[doctor-official]

I lost both my pinkies in the scalpel incident on '09! You knew that! C'mon, please!

[centers-for-disease-control]

Okay, do you cross your heart that you won’t preform any evil rituals?

[doctor-official]

they took my heart whenever I got my doctorate

Having one would make it difficult to hand out bills

[centers-for-disease-control]

Swear on your soul?

[doctor-official]

I have a soul but it's an evil evil one which compelled me to commit evil evil rituals but if you take it I swear on my evil evil soul.

[centers-for-disease-control]

You know what, good enough. We are short staffed. Welcome back

[the-worm-in-his-head]

this is literal proof the cdc needs more cuts. there's self-proclaimed evil people working there.

[officially-bbc-news]

You can get hired by the cdc by being evil??? Why did no one tell me about this, I should get a part-time job-

Ahem I mean

Breaking News!

Centres for disease control hires evil people?

This is just in! In a shocking recent development, it has been revealed that the cdc, whatever that is, is completely okay and fine with hiring doctors who have publicly admitted to being incredibly evil. These doctors may well be guilty of stealing people's organs and performing evil rituals. According to experts, this is regular doctor behaviour and they need to do it for enrichment, but the public isn't so sure!

More updates coming to you live from BBC news.

[the-unofficial-news]

Last time I heard news like that, I was actively succumbing to anesthesia. Wait this isn't my newsroom... Or... Country...

Next up: Will jeremeny make it back home to Fent News Headquarters, or will he/I die on the way through the freezing waters I will inevitably have the swim due to the lack of anything similar to a flying machine. Spoiler: I die, and they just clone me.

[officially-bbc-news]

You have a cloning device?? Every time I die, the mighty fish gods I serve work for just revive me with a cursed ritual cup of tea.

[shitty-fear-artifacts]

Don't know if it counts as a artifact because it's just a logo but. Artifact of the eye that's just this old bbc news logo:

No I'm not biased what are you talking about /silly

they are sisters in the Eye. To me

[killer-offical]

everyone get more positive now. i was sitting in the classroom and randomly started thinking how its really nice our hands aren't sharp and triangular. like they're very squarish, thats a very nice shape for hands to be. i like having rounded square hands. its a good shape. very nice. 10/10 i love myself. my eyes are also big and round, the mega long eyelashes add a nice touch, they look very pretty and brown and they look really good in sunlight. sunlight is also wonderful and great, the soft orange light peaking through the curtains into a dark room has this really nice vibe.

[officially-bbc-news]

My favorite ship is slowly coming true….BBC x itv…..the arc is forming……….

Ships? Abso-fucking-lutely not! I have thalassophobia thank you very much.

[kosmicpowers]

England isn't a real country, stupid. England is a lie to sell you more Doctor Who

[officially-bbc-news]

As the British Broadcasting Corporation, I can confirm, we made it up.

[itv-offical]

50 posts!

That's more than the amount of braincells @officially-bbc-news has!

[officially-bbc-news]

I have a lot of braincells... 27 is a lot of braincells.

[itv-offical]

Yeah well I have all 100

Beat that boyfailure

[officially-bbc-news]

...Are you sure you're supposed to have just 100?

[itv-offical]

Yep

[officially-bbc-news]

...I thought you needed more than that.

[anomymous2]

Your supposed to have 170 billion

[officially-bbc-news]

...That is a Lot.

[itv-offical]

50 posts!

That's more than the amount of braincells @officially-bbc-news has!

[officially-bbc-news]

I have a lot of braincells... 27 is a lot of braincells.

[itv-offical]

Yeah well I have all 100

Beat that boyfailure

[officially-bbc-news]

...Are you sure you're supposed to have just 100?

[itv-offical]

Yep

[officially-bbc-news]

...I thought you needed more than that.

[iggykoopa666]

[rubber-rooms-with-rats-inc]

@officially-bbc-news typa shit you’d say (/aff)

[officially-bbc-news]

Green is not simply art, green is the meaning of life.

[saph-the-queer]

What about yellow

[officially-bbc-news]

Depends, is it green?

[green-is-not-a-creative-color]

Green Is Not A Creative Color

[officially-bbc-news]

How dare you say that in front of my children! (my collection of green ties)

[itv-offical]

50 posts!

That's more than the amount of braincells @officially-bbc-news has!

[officially-bbc-news]

I have a lot of braincells... 27 is a lot of braincells.

[itv-offical]

Yeah well I have all 100

Beat that boyfailure

[officially-bbc-news]

...Are you sure you're supposed to have just 100?

[officially-bbc-news]

Is it true that you share a room/bed with @itv-offical

?

wHAT

[itv-offical]

yes

[officially-bbc-news]

NO- IT'S NOT TRUE

[itv-offical]

What's that I heard a stutter

[officially-bbc-news]

Ahem, no stuttering here. Not at all

[officially-bbc-news]

Is it true that you share a room/bed with @itv-offical

?

wHAT

[itv-offical]

yes

[officially-bbc-news]

NO- IT'S NOT TRUE