Offscript She-Ra (and Princesses of Power. But not you, KYLE.)

[offscriptshera]

All In The Name

Horde Prime: It's Hordak, right?

Hordak: And you are?

Horde Prime: I'm the guy that kills Hordak.

[offscriptshera]

When You Fire Your Boss

Shadow Weaver: [standing over Hordak's unconscious body] Scans indicate low levels of life function. Good, the plan worked. We've replaced the top operatives at Bright Moon. Now the next phase begins. And you will be integral to that, you have not yet served your purpose. [leans over and whispers in Hordak's ear] Even filth has a purpose.

[offscriptshera]

She’s Not Wrong.

Light Hope: For once, you can stop manipulating the world and let destiny take its course. If there's one thing we know about human beings with certainty: they are masters of self-destruction.

[offscriptshera]

Worthless.

Horde Prime: [to Hordak] I'm allowed to criticize you. I made you. You're my mistake.

[offscriptshera]

Post Micah 1

Angella: If the Gods are fucking you, you find a way to fuck them back. It's the Rebellion, gentlemen; the Gods will not save you.

[offscriptshera]

Defective.

Entrapta: But really, the thing is, no one can save you.

Hordak: What I've been telling you.

Entrapta: No, that's not what I mean. I mean no one can save you because you don't want to be saved.

[offscriptshera]

Understand me, Catra?

Entrapta: We tried. There are other battles, other Seals. Some we'll win, some we'll lose. This one we lost. Our numbers are not unlimited. Six of the Horde died in the field this week. You think the armies of heaven should just follow you around? There's a bigger picture here. You should show me some respect. I dragged you out of hell. I can throw you back in.

[offscriptshera]

Looking Fine

Catra: Adora, is that you?

Adora: I'm right here.

Catra: Oh. Know how I can tell? That perky little ass of yours. You could bounce a nickel off that thing.

[offscriptshera]

You Overpaid.

Woman in Bar: I'm sitting like this so you'll look at my breasts. I just bought them. I need a lot of attention.

Double Trouble: Good luck with that.

[offscriptshera]

Mara’s Ship 1

Wrong Hordak: This is very complex. If the pizza man truly loves this babysitter, why does he keep slapping her rear? Perhaps she's done something wrong?

Glimmer: You're watching porn? Why?

Wrong Hordak: It was there.

Bow: You don't watch porn in a room full of dudes. And you don't talk about it. Just turn it off! [Wrong Hordak looks down at his lap] Well, now he's got a boner.

[offscriptshera]

Goodbye Stars.

Mara: God wants you to have freedom.

Razz: But what does he want us to do with it?

Mara: [narrating] If I knew then what I know now, I might have said; 'It's simple. Freedom is a length of rope, God wants you to hang yourself with it.'

[offscriptshera]

Road Trip?

Catra: Wow. Guy goes to Purgatory for a year, all hell breaks loose. Check this out. Jogger in Salineas gets his heart ripped out.

Scorpia: I'm guessing literally.

Catra: Only way that interests me. And then, there's another article from six months ago. Same thing happens, also in Salineas. What's that tell us?

Entrapta: Stay out of Salineas!

[offscriptshera]

Hello, Force Captain.

Hordak: You betrayed me? No one in the history of torture’s been tortured with torture like the torture you’ll be tortured with.

[offscriptshera]

When Can I Retire?

Glimmer: So you’re having a midlife crisis?

Angella: I'm extremely old, I think I'm entitled.

[offscriptshera]

Get A Grip.

Catra: [voiceover] My therapist wants me to accept the things that are out of my hands. Tragically for him, he's not out of my hands.

[offscriptshera]

Orphaned

Glimmer: You stole my life.

Hordak: [laughs] What the fuck? You are really beginning to piss me off.

Glimmer: I'm not the person I'm supposed to be because you took someone from me.

[offscriptshera]

BrightMoon Has a Curfew?

Adora: [voiceover] I remember when life was easy. When the only question I worried about was who's next. Now it's: How can I dodge my "protective detail"? What should I do with my "hostage"? These are not easy questions.