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@ofobscuritas
& CLOSED !!
â Lust is the ultimate goal of almost all human endeavour, exerts an adverse influence on the most...
I WILL BE MOVING BLOGS !!
After 9 months and over 500 followers I will finally leave this tag mess here behind.
Following muses will be dropped ( for now ) in the process:
Lilith
Lawrence (Testmuse)
Jade (Testmuse)
Which means the threads I had with those muses are dropped as well. ( due to various reason but the most is no muse development because barely any (lasting) threads. )
Aside from that it would be NICE if you could like this if you want to continue the threads we currently HAVE with my other muses. Iâve been inactive for quiet some time so⊠Iâm sure some of you donât want to write with me anymore because of this reason.
I will also be a little bit more private and selective out of the simple reason that I donât have that much time anymore for roleplay and I donât want anyone to wait for long.
âKissâ + 5 ( i had to uvu )
               SEND KISS AND A NUMBER TO KISS MY MUSEâŠÂ                          5 : BEFORE GOING TO BED.                                    . âč Â â§ ïŒżstatus: not accepting !
. âč  â§ïŒż ⌠:      jaebum was quiet for the first time. it might have been the exhaustion seeping into his bones ; there was only so much he could take, and youngjae had been ruthless from the start. thatâs not to say he was roughâ no, no, he was quite gentle with jaebum. treated him like the finest china that couldnât dare to slip from his fingers and shatter on the floor, he did. but there were times where neither of them could handle the need continue their game, as if there was something left of it to play, when jaebum had tapped out months ago and youngjae was far too stubborn to admit he had done the same.Â
none of the words he wants to say manage to leave. he should apologize. â i should have let you take a break, but you didnât say anything. why didnât you say anythingââ then he comes to the realization that it would be best to keep his mouth shut. his tongue might have been crafted from the finest of silver, but it oxidizes and rusts when his thoughts run a mile a minute and he canât seem to catch up. the shared bath was quiet, the mere drip, drip, drip of water from the faucet is what echoes throughout the small, somewhat cramped space. jaebum doesnât look at him and, while he doesnât look back, he wonders why it hurts so much.Â
it wasnât his fault, but it wasnât jaebumâs either. he didnât know. how was he supposed to know ? his limits ran cross-country. he could handle the flame sparked in the bottom of his lungs, because he knew he would catch his breath, but it was different for jaebum. the heart canât manage as much shock.Â
the shame is enough for him to turn away when heâs settled on the mussed up sheets of his bed, jaebum lying beside him, running the pads of his fingers against the screen of his phone, hesitant. â iâll take you home tomorrow, â he mumbles, overwhelmed with exhaustion. he doesnât think jaebum hears him, but the shuffle of fabric tells him otherwise. â i⊠i donât know you well enough yet. next timeâ iâll be better. â it was his own take on asking for forgiveness, and jaebum responds with his own on reassurance and gratitude : a gentle kiss on the lips, then a muttered â good night â against them, warm breaths ghosting across each other. it makes his heart skip a beat, as much as he despises to admit it.
What do you think would have happened to Lucifer if he stayed in heaven and Azrael fell instead?
â â Someone offered a present to the fallen, Lucifer. ___ : @anon
He wouldnât have stayed. Itâs easy as that. He would have followed Azrael wherever he would go even if it meant to give up on his wings, even if it meant to lose his father even if it meant to live with humans. Lucifer used to be so in love that he was blinded by it. Azrael had been the air he was breathing. Lucifer had always been impulsive so he wouldnât even have thought about it. He wouldnât have wasted one thought. He had just followed him. That was how much he loved him. Too bad he forgot what it meant to love by now.
Imagine Jinki getting betrayed by Kibum and Taemin, how would he react?
â â Someone offered a present to the sociopath, Jinki. ___ : @anonÂ
He would probably kill them. Well, most likely he would kill Taemin. He doesnât care about him at all. If anything he is a waste of space if he is honest. He makes good money but this is it and everyone else could do his job the same. Kibum? Who knew. He would probably let him live because out of unknown reasons the other is important to him. Even though he should get rid of him to distance himself from his own past. There is just something.
Jaebum has to choose: 1 day without food or 1 week without alex?
â â Someone offered a present to Jaebum. ___ : @anon
âOne week without Alex. I have my priorities.â
Is there any trait of Lawrence you don't like?
â â Someone offered a present to the vampire, Lawrence. ___ : @anonÂ
â â ___  What I donât like the most is that Lawrence had already given up on everything. He is too long on this earth. He lives too long already that barely anything can kindle any emotions inside of him. He had seen too many friends die to feel hurt anymore, he had learned so many things already that he canât feel proud, he had seen so many things that excitement rarely comes. He knows too well that everything is ephemeral so happiness wonât come to him anymore. To sum it up is he completely dead insane and itâs rather hard to write him as a muse because it feels like he has no personality at all.Â
What would Woohyun dislike more: having Jaden moving to his home or Myungsoo locking him away from the rest of the humanity?
â â Someone offered a present to the wolf, Woohyun. ___ : @anon ( @fluorvte )
â â ___  Honestly, it would be Myungsoo locking him away. Woohyun had always struggled that people wanted to lock him away because he was dangerous and too valuable for everyone else. Of course, Jaden would a bit annoying but he loves Jaden -- Why would he dislike having him around him all the time? So itâs definitely Myungsoo locking him away would perhaps make Woohyun hate him.Â
How does Taeyeon's ideal type look like?
â â Someone offered a present to the siren, Taeyeon. ___ : @anonÂ
â â ___ She honestly has none! Especially not when it comes to a sexual act because itâs often simply her desire to deceive and kill that brings her closer to someone. She doesnât have a lot of interest in love. And she can only love females honestly because she doesnât have the desire to kill them. Taeyeon likes pretty things so her ideal type can shift as long as she thinks that person is pretty.Â
â€Â
SIWON:
What: Closed Starter for @ofobscuritas Who: Siwon & Taemin.. Connection: Friends/Strangers. Verse: Main.
There was frankly no one else to call but Taemin. There was no one in his entire phone that he was certain would come and help him out after being admitted to the hospital. In the seven months since the shooting had happened, Siwon had frankly dealt with a lot. But the seizure he had that evening was more than anything he would have expected. A lot of things were on the table due to the whole brain injury thing. Seizures had been something that had been mentioned but Siwon had never taken it that seriously. Perhaps if he had, he would have been prepared for the seizure. But he wasnât, and he had hit his head (something that had his doctor letting out the heaviest sigh because of course he would hit his head).
But he was in a wheelchair for now, ordered to remain in it despite how good he felt. All so that he wouldnât hit his head all over again. And he was kind of being a pain in the ass, moving the wheelchair around as he waited to get discharged. Which, strangely enough, wasnât the fastest process. Even though it would mean having one less annoyed patient.
âThe first time I was here, when I woke up and wasnât like⊠Deadish. I used to wheel around the entire hospital. Really fast. To the point where one of my ex boyfriends would put a stick in the wheels so that I couldnât do anything stupid,â he said, laughing.
â â ___ Â HE HAD BEEN surprised once the call from Siwon had reached him. They barely knew each other. Were strangers to be quite honest yet Siwon had indeed bet on the right person. Born as the virtue of charity the angel with the frankly broken wings he had no other chance but to help the other. There was the certain urge to help others, the need. As if he had to make up for something. And probably he had to make up something. The raven haired slender boy was seated on the bed watching the other male carefully. Just like a little dog who watched out carefully, waited to be helpful. He listened to his words and a rather sad smile painting his full pink lips. There was always a certain kind of sadness within the fine lines of his face. A heavy terrible past that he would never get rid off. âYour ex-boyfriend?â He eventually asked with curiosity that laced his voice. A sigh brushed past his lips. Love was indeed something he had never been involved with. He had never questioned it and neither showed interest in it. âSay Siwon... Why are you like this?â A frown appeared on his forehead, tip of his pink tongue peaking out to trace along his full dry lips. âI mean... your legs and... all those things. Did something happen to you? Or were you born with those health problems?â He tilted his head to the side, curious hues of brown flickering to the other's face. âYou don't need to talk about it if you don't want to. Of course.â Taemin had comprehension for everything. At least for a certain amount of time. At least while he was still sane inside of his head. Once the rather dark part of him took over he was a completely different person dominated by demons that he couldn't control himself. A person no one wanted to meet in the middle of the night.
MINWOO:
What: Closed Starter for @ofobscuritas Who: Minwoo & _____ Connection: Strangers. Verse: Main.
It wasnât an accident when the bottom of Minwooâs backpack had been cut open. Just like it hadnât been an accident when someone spilled an entire liter of soda on his books. Just like it hadnât been an accident when he got tripped. Minwoo thought that all of this would end when he graduated high school. But it didnât seem as though that was ever going to be in his cards. It was a silly thing to happen. Not every single bully wasnât going to enter University. There had to be one or two that would enter university and might even be in the same program as Minwoo. While some people might have felt like the world was beating them down, but Minwoo was an optimistic person. Not that anything had ever given him reason to be so positive.
He held on tightly to the items that had fallen out of his bag. Thankfully, small miracles, he hadnât been carrying his laptop. And he hadnât brought a whole lot of things with him that day. Heâd tossed the backpack. There was no way that he could manage to fix it. He had never learned how to sew. His mind was elsewhere as he walked, his eyes focusing on the ground. Although he was optimistic, he felt as though he was so small. The tiniest thing on the planet. He wished he was.
A hard wind blew, making him curl into himself slightly. Which only resulted in him dropping a few books. Groaning softly, he got down onto a knee and started to stack his things once again.
â â ___ Â MINHEE FELT PITY if she was honest. Her legs brought her along the sidewalk on the other side of the road. Usually, the hellhound was someone who wouldn't watch out left or right. She was always stuck in her own thoughts. Albeit, the loud sound of something falling on the ground had caught her attention easily. She had stopped moving, her gaze shifting over to the source of the sound. A sigh slipped past her lips. It wasn't like Minhee was the most friendly person on earth. ( She was born as a creature in hell â she knew how to spit well and how to be aggressive. Not nice ) But she couldn't help herself but pity the slender looking boy at the opposite side of the road. âYou should go to work, Minhee.â She whispered to herself whilst she folded her slender arms underneath her chest. âOr you will be too late for work.â She wrinkled her nose, rolled her eyes back into his head. âYou are always late. Who cares.â Yes, she talked to herself. Albeit once those words had left her lips in a whisper the young hoyden eventually crossed the street. She wasn't a saint â she would never. She drank too much, hurt too much, whored around too much for this. But she had been born with a protective instinct. Right beside the boy the young woman kneeled down, a simper coloured her lips. âLet me help you. Today is one of those days, huh?â She mumbled whilst she grabbed for the books one by one. âWell, for me probably every day is a day where I should stay in bed.â
ALEX:
ă ⥠ă ⊠*â                 THE WHOLE SITUATION WAS almost too much for Alex to take. He was unaware of what to do and how to do it. Was he acting right, was he doing the right thing and was he making it better for Jaebum or harder? He wasnât too sure and that was what caused the anxiety to grow deep within him. Even while he was helping Jaebum to straighten up a bit, he felt that his arm was shaking a bit coming from the fear of breaking Jaebumâs bones or even worse. After falling into silence, the young man observed how the Korean took his painkiller and drank from the water. Patiently, he waited until Jaebum was done before he helped the other to lay down again and put the glass back on the night table next to the bed. âItâs nothing you have to be ashamed of if you really have to throw up. I wonât look down at you or something.â Alex reassured with a soft voice while he sat down on his chair again. In a careful way, he let his hand slip under Jaebumâs again to hold the fragile hand in his own again. A dry, but little smile adorned the plush lips of the blonde man by hearing the sharp comment no matter how weak Jaebum was, it was a good sign that he was having his sharp tongue back, right? Oh, how much Alex wanted to believe that this was a good sign.
âNothing is a big deal when you do it for someone you like.â Because Alex didnât want Jaebum to be thankful or anything like this. It was a wonder that he didnât break the other manâs bones while doing the first aid. Alex knew that he was capable of killing Jaebum within a few seconds by just applying too much pressure on his chest, therefore it has been reckless of him to do this himself but who was he to admit his fault now? Especially, when it worked just the way he wanted. But instead of the situation getting better, Alex felt like he was slowly drowning in a vortex of darkness and pain. His round eyes widened for a second, mouth opened to say something, but without making a sound he closed his lips again and listened to Jaebumâs story. The beginning was already telling him that this was about to get long. If someone would have told him a few years ago that he would be able to follow a story so important, in such a wretched state of mind in a different language, he would have laughed and shaken his head, calling them stupid and that it was ridiculous to believe that it would be so easy to follow a story so important in a language he was hardly able to speak. But it was Jaebum who was speaking. Sometimes Alex was certain that they werenât communicating with their mouths but with the heart instead. Was it stupid to think like this? It probably was since they were still using their speech to talk and yet Alex has never been in trouble to understand the other at all.
However, the more he was listening, the more he wished he wouldnât understand a word. It broke his heart to hear that Jaebumâs future had been so bright and that the other was someone with a great talent, something Alex hadnât known before. How could you love a person you donât know anything about? For a moment, Alex lowered his gaze to swallow the thick lump in his throat before he looked up again. Slowly, his gaze shifted to the monitor and back to Jaebum again. The word âabuseâ caused the young man to flinch unintentionally. This word was something he heard often, not because he has made experiences with it, but when you work for the police you see a lot and abuse within a family was more of a common thing than you want it to be.
Words were flowing by. Weak heart. Weak lungs. This made sense to Alex due to what he was seeing now, but once Jaebum continued talking, the young man knew that he has not been prepared at all to what was following: another five years to live. Almost in panic, Alex wanted to count, but he didnât have to because the next sentence was shattering all hopes Alex had left. Five years were over. Jaebum was supposed to die. The man Alex fell in love with was supposed to die. Was he really doomed to lose the next person? Was he doomed to stay alone for the rest of his life because whenever he thought that he has found someone, he would have to say goodbye again? Life wasnât fair, it was just not fair. What has he done to deserve this? What has he done that everyone he loved has to leave him?
Alex has his head lowered just enough to hide his face for a while. He was shocked, unable to cry or say anything. To be honest, he wasnât even aware of the Korean language right now. It was like all words were suddenly gone. The worst was, that this wasnât changing his feelings for Jaebum. Alex wished so much that his feelings would change, that the love which was slowly growing within him would be replaced by something else, but this wasnât the case. His body and soul were still longing for the other man, no matter how much time they had left. What he would need right now would be some kind of a timeout, a minute or two to think about it and to process the information Jaebum has giving him, but the other man wasnât giving him this time.
With tears in his eyes, Alex looked up again and listened to the introduction of the man he finally got to know completely. Wasnât it ridiculous? Alex should be mad at himself and Jaebum for being so unaware of it all but he wasnât and his feelings were maybe even stronger than before.
âHey, my real name is Wu Jiaer, but I go by the name Alex Wu now. Iâm a machine and potential whistleblower, 23 years old and I donât care what you think about what you want.â Alex raised from his seat, just to sit down on the edge of the bed seconds later. He wouldnât leave this man, not because he was going to die sooner or later. It would break Alex apart, he knew but you couldnât ignore what the heart wants this much Alex has understood. Rather he would spend a little more time with Jaebum and be happy as long as it lasts instead of walking away now and add another point of regret to his already long list. âI love you, Im Jaebum. Itâs fine if you donât feel the same for me.â Alex curled his hand around Jaebumâs while his other hand traced over the soft cheek of the ill man in front of him. âBut I canât turn my back on you. I donât care if we have 60 years left or just 60 days. I want to be by your side, Iâve made my choice the moment you ran into me with that stolen apple.â The young man leaned closer, enough to place a soft kiss on Jaebumâs forehead.
                      âYou are my family and this wonât change.â
â â ___  THE WARMTH OF Alex's hand in his own hand calmed him a bit down. And this fact alone was almost ridiculous. Jaebum was always the one who tried to keep his distance between himself and everyone around him. It made him feel terrible, guilty. But over the time Alex's presence had turned into the complete difference. He had become someone he felt comfortable with. Alex's presence calmed him down. It gave him the feeling that he wasn't alone. That he had someone to lean on. And whenever the blonde wasn't around him his thoughts had filled with him because otherwise, he would have felt lonely. He had become the reason why he enjoyed to wake up the next day again. His thumb had traced along the silken structure of his skin. It was so warm, so human. He could still not realise that behind this skin was something inhuman. After the last words had been spoken silence washed over them. Perhaps just for a second. But for Jaebum it was a terrible long second. A second where the turmoil in his mind grew with each beat of his heart. How could a human possibility draw so many colourful scenarios? Hurtful scenarios. He expected tears. He expected silence. He expected Alex to leave. No one wanted to be with someone who was about to die. No one. It was easier, less hurtful, to run away earlier. Within the second his heart grew to the feeling that he would be alone within the next minute. His heart grew with the pain. It grew quick. As if a hand curled around his throat, slowly pressing against his skin and drawing the last bit of air out of his lungs. He suffocated mentally. If he could he would be the one to run away. Right now. He wanted to be deaf. The lump in his throat grew, stones in his stomach. Just now he realised how much he liked the other. How important Alex was for him. Just the thought it was the last moment he would see him ripped apart out of him. As if he had suddenly a hole within him. Would it ever be able to be filled again? Hues of rich brown colours shifted towards the blonde the moment he had parted his lips and words slipped past his full rosy lips. Yet with each word that spilt over his tongue the eyes of the raven-haired widened. He wanted to interrupt. Ask what he meant that he didn't care about Jaebum's words. Hence his lips were parted but no words ever reached his tongue. His heartbeat increased, the machine made it audible for everyone in this room. But it was beating. It was fast but steady. His heart was fluttering. ( And probably his headache got a bit worse but he didn't care about this at all. ) The mattress of his bed dipped down the moment Alex settled down beside him. Alex wouldn't leave and this was all that he cared about â he thought. Yes, this was what he thought until three tiny words echoed through the room. Three so small words yet with such an impact that it left Jaebum breathless. Such a huge meaning, such an impact that he could barely understand them. His gaze shifted from Alex's hand back to his face, back to his hand. He didn't even know where to look anymore. Did he mean what he said? Did he really mean what he thought this could mean? ( The monitor almost out of control. Jaebum feared the nurse would come and check on him. ) Today was one of those days. Those days that were completely fucked up somehow. In a good and bad way. His own cheek felt almost on fire with Alex's hand tracing over it. He couldn't understand any of this hence the reason why nothing but silence came from his side. While the same words repeated inside of his mind. I love you. The grip on the other's hand tightened slightly while Alex leant forward. Soft, warm and silken lips pressed against his rather cold forehead. He felt so happy and yet so devastated at the same time. It was so bittersweet. He felt like crying, screaming and laughing at the same time. He felt guilty and blessed. He didn't know what he was supposed to feel at this moment. And even less did he know what he was supposed to say. His free hand moved and suddenly his fingertips traced along the other's soft neck. He had the feeling as if he was allowed to touch him like this now. Even though he didn't understand where this thought came from. He wasn't good in those things. Inexperience aside but he had lived his past years telling himself that he didn't need this. Didn't need anyone.                  It was a lie.                       He needed Alex. He took a deep breath, eyelids framed with thick black lashes fluttered close. âThis heart monitor is such a traitor.â He mumbled quietly to himself and for the first time, a small simper tugged the left corner of his pastel tiers upwards. âI always tried to get rid of everyone. I didn't want anyone to be hurt when I... when I die. I stopped going to school. Ignored my friends and whoever I got to know I would never see them again. It should have been the same with you. It was a funny night and you saved my ass but... I thought this was it.â He whispered quietly, fingertips dancing along his neck, tracing the lines of collarbones. âI lied to myself from the beginning. And suddenly... Alex, I-- I just need you. I need you in my life, by my side. I always thought to get in trouble meant to live. I never wanted to miss anything out. But I just know what it means to live ever since I got to know you. You make me wake up in the morning. You make me care more about my life. You make me want to continue to live and not risk it every day.â He swallowed thickly. Dying was scary, confessing somehow even worse. He had learned this right in this moment. âAnd suddenly you were more than a friend... I wanted more. And it's so scary. It had been scarier than to know that I'm going to die. To have someone you don't want to lose is terrifying. Alex, I love you too. And I've done that for a while.â He ignored the prickling hot tears waiting on his eyelids to fall down. Tears of fear, tears of happiness. âLoving you is scary, Alex. It's so scary because I know I will leave you behind. I will leave you alone. I can't give you anything but worry and sadness. I love you too but please... I beg you, Alex. Don't love me. Find someone who can take care of you. Find someone you deserve. You've been through enough. Don't make me your family. Don't love me. Please.â The desperation in his voice was audible because he meant it. In his own mind, he wasn't nothing but a burden to everyone. Just like he was a burden to his mother. Everyone would suffer because of him. He didn't want this. His heart was already damaged. It wouldn't be fine if it would be broken and shattered into pieced. He wouldn't need to carry this with him for a long time. A tear trailed down his cheek. He couldn't remember the last time he had cried because of this, because of anything. But ever since Alex was in his life his life was upside down. His emotions were and suddenly tears came so easy that were usually hidden somewhere deep inside of him. Buried, locked away. But Alex was worth every tear. Every single one.               âI love you but please                           don't love me back. Please.â
Flight Log: TurbulenceÂ
Monograph Photo Book
MIKEY:
What: Closed Starter for @ofobscuritas Who: Mikey & _____ Connection: Strangers. Verse: Main.
Conventions were pretty much the biggest part of Mikeyâs schedule during the year. Yes, game releases were big. But it was nothing compared to the pure size of the conventions and the excitement that seemed to thrum through the room when he entered. Not everyone recognized him. It was hard not to recognize him when he was standing on the stage and talking about the latest horror movie game he was a part of developing. But when he was just walking around on the floor, no one seemed to pay that much attention to him. And that was the most valuable information that he could gather. People didnât filter themselves when they were talking to their friends. Honesty was kind of amazing.
Keeping around the booths that were involved with the Seoul based company, Mikey just kind of peeked over peopleâs shoulder. The worst thing that could happen would be a glitch in the game. That would spread like wildfire and might even become a meme. God, he really didnât want a meme made for something like that happening. As much as they worked on everything, it was never perfectly tested. Because who knew what routes a new player would attempt.
âOh, Iâm so sorry!â Mikey yelped, feeling his body bumping into someone else. This wasnât uncommon for him. He had gotten wrapped up far too much in what he had been listening in on. Â
â â ___ Â HE HAD HONESTLY no idea how he ended up here. Well, he never knew how he ended up anywhere if he was honest. There were so many people around and not one game that was presented here would ever land in his hands because he had no money. ( Heck, he didn't even have the technical devices to play them. ) Albeit, Jaebum had always been trouble. Always. So sneaking in somewhere, where you actually needed to pay was fun. It was a thrill. It would push his adrenaline into overdrive and he would feel alive. As alive an almost dead person could feel like. It would bring his heart to flutter, his blood pressure to rise. He was risking his life â all the time. But risking his life meant that he was still alive. However, it would turn bad if the security would catch your ass because they found out that you didn't belong here. Pearly white teeth dug into the supple flesh of his bottom lip whilst he tried to vanish within the mass of people while the security asked him to stop and wait. ( Of course, he pretended to be deaf. As always. ) And it would have gone almost fine if there wouldn't be this damn idiot who bumped into him. ( Not exactly because he didn't walk around with open eyes either. ) Jaebum hissed loudly, stumbled a few steps back. Not that much â there were too many people. And he wouldn't even mind such a little accident. Now he did because the security caught up with him. A stern expression coloured his usually smooth face whilst his dark brown hues shifted over to the person. âYeah, whatever. Just pretend you know me, okay? The security wants to kick me out. Just... I will explain this later.â He whispered in a hushed voice just in time before the security caught up with him, tapping on his shoulder. âAh, I finally found you.â He said, truly exaggerated happy, towards the stranger before he turned around to the security that wanted his attention. ( obviously. ) âYes? How can I help you, sir? Is everything alright?â
When your RP partner is way better than you and you have to write your reply
ADKFJLKD;DKFJ;FIJE;LKLK; JACKBUM DID A THINGâą