There was but a moment to think on Ysale’s passing. I know naught how I felt, nor have I found the words for it to this day. She lived as she liked, and she died in the same way. All I know is that we would have been but wreckage upon the distant plains of Eorzea had she not interfered when she did. J’tomo stood next to me, and I next to Estinien-- and I felt the shockwave pass through us all. Estinien I think, may have come to quite fancy her but I suppose now I may never know.
I’m getting ahead of myself.
Alphinaud’s beacon of hope, as he is pushed us forward into Azys Lla along with Cid’s fearless command of Allagan technology. Still, my heart ached for the shield I carried among my belongings. I could not let go my grief or my rage-- Zephirin would pay first and foremost-- and I was blind to the task at hand. I had no interest in carrying the eye of Nidhogg; nay, that fell to J’tomo, the only Dragoon who could stand shoulder to shoulder with Estinien Wyrmblood himself.
Always, J’tomo regarded Estinien with some kind of fear and guardeness; a loathing that I myself could not understand. I could not have known that in his own training, wiling away time in Coerthas that he had faced Estinien before. That he had seen him struggle to keep the eye’s influence from taking him fully. If only I had known and put these pieces together perhaps I could’ve stopped what was to come. Alas, I once more get ahead of myself.
Through the Aetherochemical Research Facility we made our move, tearing through it with our rage and the the eye itself as our power. Never had I seen J’tomo wield such strength as he did then, though the uncertainty of Tiamat’s testimony left him wavering. All along, he had been ready to hoist the Ishgardian banners that he might fight and kill the enemy of all their kind. The ancient art of the Dragoon left him thirsty for blood and rightly so, though we know now that we had all been victims of a most terrible ruse that spanned the ages.
When the Ascians appeared before us, we knew only that we must use the white auracite. Though I bore the most tremendous grievance toward Lahabrea for what he had done to my friend, it was his cohort that was trapped-- though J’tomo was quick on calling on the aetheric power of the eye to sever her from this world. It was Thordan’s approach that I couldn’t have expected, and left me with the terror of the thing he’d made of himself-- and into his sword. Aside from he himself, no greater danger could’ve befallen us to have those two eyes in the same place.
Always from the start, I trusted Estinien’s mastery of them-- but I couldn’t foresee the strain of the two together.
I cannot forgive myself for my negligence.
I needed to find a way to make up for what I had done-- only to find that there was in fact a lead on the whereabouts of another Scion. I still worry that such a distraction was unbecoming; that I musts needs make Estinien my priority. I should have protected him from the start, I should have seen through the bickering he and J’tomo engaged in. But again... alas.
I feared I would never see Thancred again. Though something about him is strange, I care naught. It was he who led me to take a keen interest in the ways of the Rogue, and through them that I met Oboro and Tsubame and found new ways to fight side by side with my friends. Thancred, who knew me as a mere kit with big dreams of becoming a bard. Who heard the news when me and my party were laid low. I survived only by my speed and it is a folly I will never forget. A friend with who I could drink and sing and laugh. How it pained me to lose him from my side, only to few scant months later lose my Haurchefant; a star among rocks, a shining beacon of warmth in the frigid Coerthan winter.
My joy is mixed with guilt, for Estinien... will I be able to do ought for him at all? I must. We must. Even J’tomo’s bitterness cannot possibly reach this deeply. We will set out to free him from the parasite that Nidhogg made of himself.
There is much to be done; Alexander must be stopped, and many threats once put down have returned with a vengeance. We shall not rest, and we shall not waver.
The Scions will prevail, even against these warriors of darkness, even against the darkness itself.
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