&& THE SCAVENGER

"balance and e n e r g y. a FORCE. inside me... that same force." REY. 19. THE LAST JEDI.

[ofscavenging]

darkminded-ren‌:

he was still coming down from his high, reveling in this newfound pleasure and state of bliss that somehow allowed him to forget about all their troubles and problems and the first order entirely. no one was coming between them now. but kylo felt rey slowly pushing him upwards to face her once more, his eyes still dazed and his hair and face dripping wet from a mixture of sweat and water from the bathtub. he blinked at her a few times before he noticed the tears forming in her eyes, immediately growing concerned. but then she repeated his words, and kylo froze, realizing now exactly what he had just confessed to so easily. “i…” he wasn’t sure what to say - he wouldn’t deny it, but he’d planned to tell her in a better way than, well, that. but it was too late. she knew now. and he knew it was absolutely true. instead of speaking up, he searched her expression for some sort of reaction to the revelation, but he was surprised to find none. rey just looked…upset. just as he was trying to comprehend her lack of emotion, she was reaching for the razor once more and tossing it onto the floor roughly. the sudden action startled him, but kylo simply continued watching her in shock as she exited the tub hastily, water dripping all over the floor as she did so. as her outburst continued, he felt a harsh pain in his chest, immediately jumping to the quickest conclusion his mind could come up with. she’d changed her mind. she said she loved him but as soon as he admitted to feeling the same way, she decided this wasn’t what she wanted. he wasn’t what she wanted. rey wanted to leave. she wanted her freedom, she wanted to get out of this place that he’d trapped her in, and she deserved to be able to do that. the taste of copper filled his mouth as he bit down so hard on his lower lip that it started to bleed slightly, the realization hitting him more painfully than he could’ve imagined. normally he would’ve stopped her from her tantrum and made her calm down, but he couldn’t bring himself to. instead kylo just watched, holding back tears of his own in an attempt to stay calm and collected. he would let her get it all out of her system. he’d clean up the mess afterwards. but for now, in this moment, there was nothing he could do. after a couple more minutes, he finally forced himself out of the tub, grabbing the nearest towel and wrapping it around himself. in an attempt to get out of the refresher as soon as he could, he hardly noticed the broken blade that had been left on the floor, which unfortunately dug into his heel as he made his way out the door. “fuck!” the physical pain and small bit of blood only fueled his own emotions as his fist pounded against the wall, causing bottles of shampoo to fall noisily into the tub. without wanting to cause a bigger issue, kylo clutched his foot with one hand before stumbling towards the adjoining bedroom, finally collapsing onto the edge of the bed. it was bleeding a bit more, and all he could do to stop it easily and quickly was to press the towel over the small wound. despite everything, he didn’t want to worry rey, giving her the space she needed to get out her frustration. when she calmed down, he would let her know that he would set her free. he’d arrange for her to ship out in the morning and would deal with whatever punishment he needed to from snoke because of it. but he refused to let her live in pain like this anymore with him.

though rey fully expected to be yanked off her feet and put over his knee on the bed for a punishment... nothing came. she’d heard him get out of the water and grab his towel and assumed that would be his cue to finally put her in her place. but instead he seemed to be moving towards the door, back to the bedroom. to do what? to leave? no, no, no. she didn’t want him to leave, especially not now. however, she only managed to look up swiftly once she heard his shout, quickly trying to figure out why. it certainly wasn’t out of anger or distress as hers had been, but rather from shock. once he lifted his foot and she saw the first sign of blood along with the razor, she instantly realized why. her face greyed as she clasped her hands over her mouth. he’d been hurt; and it was her fault. similar to how his past outbursts would leave obstacles in their room, she’d now done the same, and it had cut him. “ben,” she gasped, attempting to step towards him but stopping at once when he hit the wall. the crash of the bottles in the tub was loud and alarming, but nothing else mattered in that moment but him and his injury. she quickly scooped up the pieces of the razor with careful hands and tossed them away before grabbing the first aid kit from under the sink then jogging out after him into the room. he was trying to staunch the blood with his towel, but she didn’t want him to hide it. she needed to help him. “ben, no, no,” she murmured gently, moving forward and onto her knees on the floor in front of him. carefully, she took the towel into her own hands then moved it back from his foot, wincing herself at the sight of the cut. it wasn’t too terrible, but it was still bleeding, so she instantly grabbed a bandage and pressed it to his cut. her eyes darted up to glance at his worriedly. “this might sting a little,” she warned him gently as she doused one of the cotton pads with water then lightly cleaned up his wound. “i’m sorry, i’m sorry...” she whispered, unsure as to how painful it actually was. she only knew how much it hurt her in the past when her wounds had to be cleaned whether here or on naboo or even back with the resistance before all this. but once it was cleaned, she wrapped the bandage around his foot and taped it into place then paused and pressed her lips to his ankle lightly. her eyes shot up to his again as she kept her face near his skin, not wanting to let go of his leg just yet. she was still afraid that he’d leave, even if she was unsure as to why he was going to. a tear fell out of her eye from the whirlwind of seeing him injured, but she quickly swiped it away before sitting up so her chin could rest on his knees now, reaching for his hands and holding them tightly. “...don’t go...” she pleaded, shaking her head lightly and exhaling. “i’m... i know how new it is for you to feel love, and i-i... i don’t want you to be afraid of it... but i needed you to know how much i truly, deeply love you...” unknowingly, she had echoed the words his grandmother had repeated to his grandfather so many years ago; somehow they shared a similar tragic romance. “i’m sorry for saying that i hate it here, but it’s just... so unfair... because i’m... i’m your prisoner, ben...” she chuckled sadly, tears once again shining in her eyes as she clutched his hands to her bare chest. “never will we be able to live happily together here... not unless...” her gaze drifted down as she came to terms with the inevitable. “we kill snoke...” again. and she doubted it would be as easy this time, especially with effie here and with rey weakened by the pregnancy. finally she rose to her feet then sat on his lap, curling up tightly to her chest. nothing calmed both of them more than when his large figure protected her small one in a position such as this. “i won’t leave you, ben... i don’t care what it takes...”

[ofscavenging]

darkminded-ren‌:

he absolutely adored the way she responded so eagerly to him, going along with their newfound nicknames once more, sweet little moans escaping her lips. this felt so kriffing good, he almost didn’t want to finish in order to hold onto the feeling of her wrapped around him, moving over him, so pretty and at his complete mercy. but the pleasure kept building up, particularly with her growing warmth and louder noises, and kylo didn’t know how much longer he could last himself. he let out a few grunts of his own as he thrust a little bit harder into her, gripping her hips now to help guide her as she rolled over his own hips. glancing up at her through dark, dazed eyes, kylo took in the image of rey, the sweat that glistened over her forehead, the braid that had fallen over her back gracefully, her breasts that bounced steadily with her movements, her petite hands that were nearly clawing at his shoulders and back now. she was truly a vision, maybe more like this than he’d ever seen her. purely in her element. then she was nearly begging him to let her come, and a smug smirk spread across his lips, even as he let out a few more pants of his own. his pace slowed until he stopped moving inside of her, eyes blinking up at her. “what’s that? baby wants to come?” he was so close, but he’d do his best to prolong his own orgasm if it meant getting to tease her a little bit. “i-i don’t know…master might only agree to that if he gets something in return…” of course, he fully intended for both of them to reach their climax, but the teasing and waiting only made it more anticipated. hesitantly, he lifted her up and off his lap, his cock still throbbing as it ached for release. patience, he thought to himself, as if he were still considering her request. the tension between them was almost painful as they were separated, but he did his absolute best to pretend he was fine for the time being. however, kylo only lasted nearly a minute before he couldn’t take it anymore. he grabbed rey’s ankles and pushed her legs up to her chest before hovering over her and sliding himself to the hilt inside of her once more. “scream my name as i make you come, baby. tell the galaxy just how good your master makes you feel as i fill you up.” his words were strangled and grunted into her ear before he captured her lips with his own as he picked up his pace, his hands still holding her legs up as he rolled his hips rapidly into hers. within only a matter of seconds, kylo felt the ecstatic wave of pleasure course through his entire being, releasing himself inside of her as he nearly collapsed onto her. he stopped himself with his fist against the bottom of the tub, taking a brief moment to consider how much more comfortable this activity might be on a bed. still, it felt so incredibly amazing that he hardly had the mind to complain. “fuuuuuck,” kylo muttered, his head falling against her breast as his arms fell to lazily wrap themselves around her. “you’re so fucking perfect, i…i think i might love you,” he spoke into her chest dazedly, hardly realizing what he’d just said and the weight of his words. 

nodding swiftly, rey let out more whimpers, her nails digging into his strong shoulders. “y-yes, please,” she begged, the friction unbelievably overwhelming in that moment. but she knew exactly what he was doing: he was purposefully delaying her with his words and actions, and it became impossible to wait any longer. but she did, as much as it made her head spin and her insides clench. “a-anything, i’ll d-do anything,” she whined, bouncing on top of him a few more times before he grabbed her by the waist and removed her from him. her jaw dropped in shock as she stared at him, feeling suddenly empty and uneasy. after how close they had both gotten to their climaxes, they were suddenly detached from one another physically, and it drove her crazy. she knew it must have been eating at him too, but he was certainly only prolonging it to get a bigger climax out of them both. she squirmed anxiously in his grip and continued whimpering, reaching out for him as if he would pity her and finally fill her up with his cock again until they both reached their breaking points. but instead, he changed things around entirely and grabbed her ankles to lift her feet up and above her head, opening her up fully to him. he pushed himself all the way back in, causing her to gasp and shout out as his weight kept her knees pushed back against her chest. abiding by his request was all too easy, and she cried out, “oh, master!” as she finally hit her climax, releasing her wetness as she had been waiting anxiously to do for minutes now. somehow the orgasm delay only made the sensation more pleasurable, and she knew they were both filing the idea away for future sessions as well. he was releasing himself shortly after, and rey panted heavily once his head finally fell to her breasts. she let out a brief laugh of joy and tangled her fingers in his hair, pressing her lips to the top of his head. not a care in the world was had in that moment. not until his next words, which brought back every single care she had inside her. her grin fell into a shocked, disbelieving expression as she looked down at him gradually, though he still had his face buried in her breasts, as he often did. however, she slowly sat them up into upright positions, her hands pressed to his chest, and just stared in awe up into his eyes. tears pooled her own almost instantly and she took a few moments to find her voice before speaking. “...you-you love me...” she whispered. it wasn’t a question as much of a statement that she was repeating to herself. finally, she had done it; he’d fallen in love with her twice over. while every part of her wanted to feel joy... she just couldn’t. they were still trapped here, and he still wished to rule the first order after they defeated snoke. her expression melted into one of sorrow again as she stared down at the water. it was useless to attempt to put her thoughts into words, since he would just shoot them down as he always did, but the frustration regarding their situation was only simmering more and more by the second. instead of explaining her wish for him to turn against the first order, to run away with her, rey just let her anger take over. she clenched her jaw stubbornly and grabbed the razor he had just shaved her with before throwing it harshly to the bathroom floor, where it broke into a few pieces. then she stood and climbed out of the tub, almost already trying to escape him; without a doubt, he would punish her for acting out, but her hormones wouldn’t allow her to feel anything but anger at their current situation. she went without drying herself off or dressing, instead just pacing back and forth in the refresher. “...it’s not fair,” she snapped to herself, now grabbing her toothbrush and throwing it roughly at the other belongings on their counter. other items fell to the floor and into the sink, but she didn’t care about the mess she was making. of course she wasn’t mad at ben either, but rather at the idea that they were trapped. they were in love, they were going to have a child soon, but they could never escape this prison of a place. “it’s all just UNFAIR! i HATE it here!”

[ofscavenging]

darkminded-ren‌:

kylo more than willingly allowed her to readjust herself, finally training himself to embrace his arousal and not shy away from it as he had so many times before. it was natural, after all, laying in the water naked with the woman he loved, and - wait. holy kriffing shit, had he just thought that so easily, without even doubting it? before, he’d been trying to figure out if this was truly love, when he didn’t even think he knew what love was. but what else could it be? he’d run to the ends of the galaxy for her. of course it was love. but he…he had to say it properly. as frightening as it was to speak the words aloud, he had to. soon. still, this didn’t feel like the right time, even as his fingers ghosted along her curves. he kissed her back without hesitation, allowing his passion for her to show clearly before adjusting himself to further accommodate her. she was positioned in the same way she’d been when she’d prompted him to touch her on endor, and it brought a small smirk to his lips. “oh? oh - ” kylo murmured in response before being cut off by the feeling of her hand around him, which he definitely liked. he watched as she took his hand and moved it to her cheeks. a small blush formed at the action she took, as he definitely hadn’t been expecting that, but…if it was what she liked, then…who was he to deny her? his fingers smoothed along the crevice a bit more, feeling the opening there, noting it seemed much tighter than her…other opening. briefly, he imagined what it would feel like filling that hole with his cock, how tight it would feel…kylo shook himself out of his shameful thoughts, knowing that if that were even to be an option, it would be something they’d have to work towards gradually. he’d definitely have to ease her into it - that was, if she was even open to the idea in the first place. but he wouldn’t mention it now. instead, his attention snapped to her once more as she brought up what she did to herself, his eyebrows raising slightly at the idea. it really shouldn’t have been much of a surprise - he’d done it to himself before too, quite a few times - but it still intrigued him greatly. “i see…what do you think about? when you…touch yourself there…” as he spoke, kylo allowed his fingers to slip down through the crevice of her ass until they came around to her clit, which he now began massaging in small circles. kriff, did her skin feel even smoother after being shaved. he was already hard again, like a fucking teenage boy, but he supposed it made up for all the years he’d gone without being intimate with someone. without her. already his desire for her was heightening once again, and he finally moved his hands to her waist to readjust her, sinking down further in the water so he could place her on top of him. without anything but his sudden primal instincts to guide him, kylo guided her down directly onto his cock, his head falling back with a groan as he slid into her once more to the hilt. in this moment, he didn’t think he could ever get used to this feeling. but fuck, did he want to feel it as much as he could, now that he’d experienced it. “ohhh, baby…still so nice and tight for me,” kylo mumbled, gradually moving his hips upward into her, this time in a slower, steadier motion than his urgent actions earlier. the water seemed to make the movements easier somehow, and he noted that he enjoyed this position all too much. however, recalling what she’d just told him, he allowed one of his hands to slide down the slope of her ass and back in between her cheeks, along the opening there. “…is this what baby likes? for her master to touch her right here?”

“oh!” rey exclaimed gently at the first feeling of his finger pawing at her hole. it was such a strange feeling, one that was completely new to her, and it made her squirm with both unease and pleasure. the mystery behind the sensation was what aroused her the most, and she continued gasping and whining as he felt her, obviously doing his own analysis of the area. clearly it was something they’d have to dive deeper into later on. now wasn’t the time for it, since they certainly weren’t in relaxed enough states ( overall, anyway ) to do so, but they would eventually and that was more than fine by her. she was pushing her ass back against his fingers now as he questioned her more about her words, causing her to giggle shyly. but she stilled once again as his fingers ran down deeper, a chill running up her spine at the sole sensation of that. as soon as his fingers began playing with her clit, rey groaned loudly, dipping her head down to rest against his abdomen and clenching her fists tightly. already he’d learned just how incredible it felt when he touched her in that one place, much to rey’s satisfaction. it hadn’t taken long at all for him to relearn the ropes and regain his dominance, and she wouldn’t have it any other way. even now, he was bringing her upright to surely begin another round, which both surprised and delighted rey. she cried out and pressed her forehead to his shoulder now once he’d lowered her body down on top of his cock, feeling her walls stretching even more from this position. she knew it’d easily become one of his favorites, since he got to watch her entire body move over him while he sat back and simply enjoyed. “a-always for you, master...” she murmured sweetly, clenching herself around him as she moaned again. part of her wished he could feel her before she’d ever had sex. of course, he had before, but she wanted it to happen all over again now that there was a new version of him. but she’d take this, gladly. her body contorted and nearly collapsed against his own at the very first feeling of his finger at her back end again and she let out a sharp gasp as she already began to release just a bit of wetness onto him inside herself. she nodded swiftly. “i-i like when m-master touches there,” she confirmed in an almost innocent-sounding whisper, despite their less-than-innocent actions. she bounced over him swifter, trying desperately to prolong her orgasm just for a bit more time, not yet wanting this to end. but she was beginning to get antsy and restless, whining as she moved over him faster. “m-master, can i come?” she begged, keeping her tone patient although she felt far from it as she squirted onto him just a little bit more. she was barely able to hold it in at this point, but obediently waited for his say so. his finger pressing at her opening set her off in a way that she never had been before, and she was completely at his mercy. “p-please, master, baby was a good girl...”

[ofscavenging]

darkminded-ren‌:

kylo couldn’t help but chuckle at her words, considering the fact that they both needed a bath now. he was amazed at just how comfortable this felt - it wasn’t awkward or odd, the way he’d worried it might be whenever he’d pictured it in his head. no, it felt natural, as if this had always been meant to happen. it had been inevitable. and now that he’d gotten past his first time (rather impressively, if he had to say so himself), he’d know how to go about things even better the next time around. a smirk formed on his lips as he already pictured the next time, but kylo guided her towards the tub before following suit, pleased that he’d filled it up enough for the both of them, even if that hadn’t been on his original agenda. once they were positioned comfortably in the water, he allowed himself to gaze down at her before pressing a gentle kiss to the top of her head. “…i’m happy, too,” kylo admitted a bit shyly, amazed that he was actually saying those words. weeks ago, he would have never imagined it. but here they were. his hands roamed affectionately over her body as he leaned his head back in pure bliss for a few moments, not allowing anything else to cloud his mind other than her. his beautiful girl. then she spoke his birth name again and his eyes fluttered open, listening intently to whatever it was that she seemed a bit concerned about…oh. shit. what a fucking nerf herder he was; kylo hadn’t even thought to consider that possibility. he’d been too caught up in the moment to think clearly at all, but at the very least, rey’s words brought him some relief. the contraceptive was supposed to be proven effective by the doctors, therefore there was practically zero chance that she would’ve gotten pregnant if she’d been telling the truth. and there was no reason to lie about something like that, after all. so kylo sighed a small sigh of relief before forcing a tight smile, his hand smoothing over her chest calmly. “that’s…good to hear,” he responded a bit awkwardly before adjusting himself a bit to sit up more. but it seemed she had another question, and he turned his attention to her once more, his eyebrows furrowing with a bit of confusion. she wanted him to…shave her? kylo had only ever shaved himself, but he supposed it wouldn’t be too difficult…if that was truly what she wanted, then what reason did he have to deny her? “yes, i…suppose i can give it a shot, but…you’ll let me know if i hurt you, right?” he didn’t want to hurt her, of course, but what if he messed up? letting out a quick exhale, kylo sat up even further, gently lifting her to a sitting position as well. “i’ll show you what to do,” he decided, reaching for the razor and shaving cream that was seated on the corner of the tub. opening his palm, he sprayed a handful of cream into it before taking her arm and lifting it, then applying it to her underarm carefully. “first you put the cream to make it easier to glide, then you just - “ he dragged the razor carefully over her skin, effectively removing the stubble of hair that had been there. “ - do this.” without hesitation, kylo repeated the motion for her other underarm, then helped turn her so that her legs were pointed towards him. he figured he’d let her take over if she wanted to, but that didn’t seem to be the case, so he continued on without questioning. lathering her legs with the shaving cream, he dragged the razor along them, watching the hair immediately get pulled down the drain as he released it. once he’d finished, kylo realized she was still expecting more...that part of her. he’d felt the small bush of hair there when he’d been pushing himself inside of her, and while he hadn’t minded it one bit, it seemed that she did. her eyes were sweet and innocent when he met her gaze, realizing she really did trust him more than anyone to do this. so he finally applied the cream to his palm once more before carefully smoothing it over her sensitive area, making sure to take extra care before he brought the razor to it. luckily she’d showed no signs of pain, and the hair was removed so easily. however, the sight of her bare now was doing things to him again, and kylo had to hide the embarrassment on his face as he put the shaving cream and razor back where they belonged. “there you go - is that all you wanted?” he asked quietly, hoping he’d done everything correctly. 

“i will,” rey giggled, but shook her head slightly since she knew in her heart he would never be able to hurt her. whether it was their force bond or something else, he’d never done it unless he’d truly sought out to whether through punishments or anything else. she nodded as he readjusted her in the water, though she didn’t pay too much attention to his actions; she doubted there would ever be a day where she would actually move to shave herself rather than have him do it. even if he wasn’t around, she still volunteered to wait until he would be, just so he’d do it. but she watched anyway to flatter him, smiling widely to herself at the oh-so-familiar actions. she’d missed moments like these terribly and never wanted to be without them again. it’d been far too painful. now all she needed was to bring the rest of his memory back and everything would be perfect. they could raise their child in peace after defeating snoke and never again would anything like this occur. but for now, rey was okay with reveling in the simple stuff like this. she bit her lower lip as he moved the razor to the area between her legs. though she trusted him completely, it was still his first time doing this, in his mind, so she was curious to see how he’d react all over again. it didn’t take long for her to figure it out, though, as a telltale poking at her behind made her jump and gasp slightly before letting out a laugh. yes, she knew well what that meant. once he’d replaced the shaving equipment, rey sat up in his lap again, resting her hands over his chest. being with him like this, nude and pressed against one another, after sharing what he thought was their first session... it made it impossible to not want to explore more. she bit her lip then answered his question, though not in a way she figured he would’ve expected. “...i want something else,” she spoke up finally, grinning tenderly and pressing her lips briefly to his before repositioning herself so she could lay stomach down across his lap in the water. “when... when you were exploring my body on endor... you touched me in a place that i really, really liked...” she giggled shyly, curling up against his cock and wrapping her hand around it. it’d always been one of her favorite places to be, even if it was meant in a non-sexual manner. she even put her mouth around it just for brief moments if she felt like it; ben could be completing a report at home while she just played with his cock under his desk, and that would be a normal afternoon for them. well... it used to be, but certainly it could become that way again soon. finally she returned to her earlier thoughts and reached with her free hand to find his own before dragging it to her ass. she pressed two of his fingers in the crevice between her cheeks, instantly flinching and letting out a low groan as her eyes rolled back. “that feels so good...” she whimpered, completely at his mercy now. they’d never ventured into this territory much before, and now she found herself questioning what they had missed out on. “i-i’ve never touched myself there before...” now he’d know that pleasing herself was something she did take part in, but not truly until after she’d met him. when he’d be gone for hours at a time at work, especially back on naboo when he had to trek so far to the supremacy in the field, it was the only thing that gave her even the slightest bit of relief when she’d been so far apart from him. “i-i touch myself down here though,” she informed him gently, pointing to her folds. now they were so comfortable with each other ( again ) that she could educate him on her tendencies and what her favorite places were, and she knew he would do nothing but listen and take it all in as he was so good at doing.

[ofscavenging]

not to sound like a broken record but .. any chance of thesparkhq making a return after the release of the rise of skywalker ??? i still miss y'all so much and having watched the film today, it makes me so nostalgic for the group, i would love to see it make a comeback!

yep it is coming back :) I’m currently on vacation so not sure when, but it’s ready to go

[ofscavenging]

darkminded-ren‌:

her tone was driving him absolutely insane, the desperation in her voice and her actions making his ego swell incredibly. no longer was he worrying about not knowing what to do or how it would go; no matter what he would do, she obviously wanted it, and so did he. he’d wanted it for too fucking long now and had been too terrified to do anything about it. but this was too far. he was hard as a rock and she was so wet for him, there was no way he could restrain himself any longer. the way she kept referring to him as master only spurred his actions further, his hand stroking faster over her folds as heavy breaths escaped him. his eyes were locked on her face, on her lips as they formed an ‘o’ shape when she moaned, the way her eyes kept fluttering shut from the things he was doing to her. for once, kylo didn’t even pay attention to the fact that she was technically disobeying and arguing against him. the water was still running, and he flicked a quick finger to shut it off with the force, not even daring to move away from her right now. finally he released her hands from behind her back briefly to spread her legs further so that one was on each side of the sink, then his eyes flickered from her wetness to her eyes, low pants slipping from his lips as he prepared for his next move. it was happening. this was it; he was going to do it; he wouldn’t fucking hurt her. he wouldn’t. letting out a quick breath, kylo nearly tore his shirt over his head before he tugged the waistband of his sweatpants down and off his legs, allowing his member to finally be freed of the constraint. he stood before her just as bare as she was now, and he only allowed her a moment to take it in before his hands grabbed her wrists once more, pinning them above her head against the mirror. here she was, all ready for him, and finally he was ready for her. “…since you asked so nicely, baby…” kylo allowed his impulse to take over as his free hand gripped her waist and he guided himself to her entrance before tentatively pushing into her. it was nearly incredible how easily he slid in, considering he’d initially imagined it being difficult to fit. but soon enough he was hilted inside of her and the sensation was like nothing he’d ever imagined. her warmth surrounding him so tightly was truly euphoria and he let out a groan already, his head falling against her breasts as more pants began to escape him. but he wanted more. so he began to pull back out before slamming back into her, eyes still flickering to her expression to make absolutely sure he wasn’t hurting her, though it was soon obvious that it was the exact opposite. spurred by her reactions to his actions, he tested her more, allowing his instincts to take over once again. both his hands moved to grip her hips now, guiding her back and forth onto him as he thrusted in and out of her, his pace increasing with each thrust. kriff, it was, without a doubt, the best thing he’d felt in his entire life. how had he gone nearly thirty years without experiencing this, without experiencing her? “fuck, baby, you feel so good…you don’t know h-how long i’ve wanted to fuck you like this…with y-you purring in my ear and my cock deep inside of you…” it was truly like something out of one of his dreams, a dream he’d been too ashamed to ever admit having. but now it was actually happening. and not like in his vision; he was bringing her pleasure, not pain. in fact, he’d never felt such pleasure until now. sweat dripped down his forehead as he sloppily moved to take a nipple into his mouth, sucking at it while his fingers dipped down to toy with her clit. his panting increased until he was nearly slamming her against the mirror, never realizing how much pent up tension he’d needed to relieve until now. the pleasure coursed through his entire body as his hands roamed everywhere, heightening more and more until - “o-oh, FUCK,” kylo muttered as he felt his release rising to the surface, choking out a few more grunts when he finally spilled into her. as he did so, he collapsed against her, more groans slipping from his lips. “…mmm, b-baby…s-so nice…so good…” he found it hard to move, still coming down from his newfound high as he finally managed to glance up a her, a mischievous grin forming with a look of wonder in his eyes. his beautiful baby, her scent surrounding him, the memory of this moment forever ingrained in his mind. “i think we’ve found a new activity to practice…”

as he finally began stripping himself of his clothing, rey felt a breathy grin make its way to her face immediately, though she still squirmed in place on the countertop. finally! he would actually do it this time, she could just feel it. there would be nothing to hold them back anymore. no longer. the sight of his cock springing out made a dribble of drool escape the corner of her parted lips, though she licked it up urgently. she hadn’t been able to lay eyes on it in far too long. weeks. kriff, did she miss it. but there wasn’t much time to admire. instead, ben had taken hold of her hands once more to raise them above her head and clasp them against the mirror with one of his own. she allowed him to do so as she groaned and whimpered in anticipation, parting her legs as far as she possibly could. at the feeling of him entering her again for the first time in so long, rey instantly let out a moan of his birth name, tilting her head back against the mirror and squeezed her eyes shut. she felt a bit of the pained stretching that she had the first time they’d done this, since it’d been so long since she’d had him inside her, but it was still the most wonderful sensation she could possibly feel. then he was all the way inside her and she continued breathing heavily, leaning down to press her face to his hair once he’d buried himself into her chest. “oh, ben...” she whined against his head, sweat dribbling down her face. then he was pulling out and re-entering her with rapid motions and she cried out in pleasure once more, tossing her head back until it pressed to the mirror again. the stretching feeling had quickly faded, leaving only the incredible arousal that he was giving her. now they’d picked up a steady rhythm and rey managed to clasp his fingers with her own, giving her something to anchor herself to as she underwent all these amazing feelings that she’d gone too long without. she nodded swiftly in agreement to his words, letting out another grunt as he thrusted into her again. “m-me too, master...” she agreed in a whimper. “i-i love the feeling of y-your cock in me... f-feels so good...” evidently letting him explore her body the previous day had boded well for both of them, since he seemed to have found her clit once again after remembering the reactions touching it yielded from her. their speed increased more and more until she felt them both simultaneously reach the peak of their arousals in perfect synchronization. “oh, master!” she yelped, arching her back up as far as she could as she came undone below him. then she collapsed against the mirror once more, breathing heavily as she recovered from her high. stars danced slightly in her vision, but already they were fading and a content smile found its way to her lips. as she found his gaze again, it seemed he had the same, causing hers to only widen. she nodded slowly in agreement, still catching her breath. “i love you...” she responded in a winded exhale, finally sitting up then wrapping her arms around his neck, kissing him tenderly. never did she want to go so long without feeling him inside her again. it brought them unimaginably close together. like usual after a session, she felt her attachment to him strengthening, finding herself unable to keep her hands off him. they settled on his bare chest now, running her fingers over his sculpted pectorals before she looked up at him again. “i’m ready for the bath now,” she teased, wiping some sweat off her forehead then resting it against his own. “only if you join me.” she didn’t think she had it in her for another round just yet ( he might be too new to consider it anyway ), but the pure intimacy from the closeness they’d share would be worth everything. even a bath. she slid off the counter and onto her feet, clutching onto him tightly still. together they moved towards the tub and entered it, laying down so her back was against his chest. once they were settled, rey let out a small giggle, tilting her head back to look up at him. “i’m so happy,” she whispered. and it was the truth. was she happy overall? with the situation they found themselves stuck in? no, of course not. but with him... she was ecstatic. she picked his lips once more, unable to help but grin against them, then stayed still so he could wash her, as usual. now she didn’t even try hiding her extra weight; he would no longer be suspicious about it, so she wouldn’t have to worry. however... would he worry about something else? after their first time ever, he’d panicked with the realization of what han had told him long ago: pregnancy. it was almost comical, since it was a bit too late to consider the possibility of that, but she knew she needed to calm his mind before he thought about it. “ben, i-i wanted to let you know that i... i had the doctor give me a contraceptive shot at my first physical. apparently it’s standard for the prisoners here.” she knew that to be a fact, actually, so it shouldn’t be too hard for him to believe it. although she never truly received it, rey was aware that it was something mandated to ensure no issues could arise. “so... there’s no concern or anything about pregnancy. i just wanted to let you know.” she was eager to move past the topic, for a reason that was only obvious to herself. however, she hid it well, instead smiling again as she glanced down at her body once more. again she met his gaze. “...ben,” she began, gaining his attention before she continued. “i was wondering if... if you could... shave me. i-i did it once, back when i was with the resistance, but... i’d like to try again...” she motioned to her legs and underarms, then her nether regions. “i-i don’t want to cut myself, and i... i trust you.”

[ofscavenging]

darkminded-ren‌:

kylo was begrudgingly opening up one of the files on his desk as he heard the padding of rey’s feet towards the refresher, somewhat surprised and relieved that she had actually obeyed him for once regarding taking a bath. it usually took much more prodding than a simple request. but still his thoughts remained on her, on how she had to have looked in the shower, wet and beautiful and…no, no - he had to focus. so he leaned forward on his desk, a hand running through his hair as he read over the first few sentences of the first document. but then he felt arms coming around his neck, and kylo nearly jumped in his seat before he realized that it was her. of course it was - who else would it be? still, he hadn’t noticed her approach, and this would make it much harder to stay focused. then she was whispering to him, and - and kissing his cheek…kylo felt himself blush again at her words, gulping, but remaining quiet. he didn’t have the willpower to tell her to stop, and truthfully, he didn’t want her to. by now his crotch had formed a tent in his pants, and he focused on rey’s words - she’d asked the doctor about it. she wanted him just as he wanted her and she wanted it badly enough that she’d asked the doctor to make sure she would be okay. something about that alone made his heart flutter, though he still had his doubts. as far as he knew, rey had never done…that before, and neither had he. but from his exploration of her body the previous evening, he couldn’t help but doubt that he would be able to fit without bringing her pain. still, she was insisting, and his judgment was temporarily clouded with lust. it only increased as he watched her push aside his papers, doing nothing to stop her, then brought his hand up until - oh. she was already bare in his hand, and kylo absolutely loved it. her little groan only made it better, and he already realized this would be a losing battle right now. he was too far gone, especially by the time she’d begged him for more, her lips teasing his own. his hand willingly gave her breast a squeeze before he took in a sharp inhale, letting himself go. rising up instantly, kylo captured her lips with his own, whirling around and knocking the chair out of the way. it tumbled to the floor instantly, but he hardly noticed as his free hand gripped her ass now, the hand on her breast sliding down to her waist to hoist her up. within seconds he had her seated on his desk, putting her at just the right height for him to properly devour her lips. his hands roamed everywhere, soon finding her breasts again as he toyed with her nipples before one of them dipped down to her lower abdomen. his mind was hazy and all common sense was temporarily forgotten as he felt the heat grow between them, dragging his lips downward to plant kisses and small bites over her neck and collarbone. it wasn’t long before he nipped at her peaks, his hands steadying her thighs now as his cock pushed up against her stomach through his pants. “mischievous, naughty girl, keeping me from my work,” kylo mumbled in a low voice against her breasts, shaking his head between them. he didn’t know where his own dirty talk had suddenly come from, but it seemed to come out effortlessly when he was like this, with her, and he didn’t mind it at all in the moment. “your master should be punishing you, not rewarding you…” with that he gripped her hips and flipped her onto her stomach over his desk, his hand coming to land over her ass with a firm slap. he bit his lip at the sight of her skin reddening from his touch, then he turned her back over and gripped at her chin, his eyes darkened with lust and amusement. “tell me what it is that you want…and in fact, what it is that you claim that i want…let’s see how well you can read my mind…” it was as if some deep darkness inside him was overtaking him, and surely he’d be shocked by his own intensity later on when he recalled this moment, but kriff, had she brought it out of him. while he craved more, kylo refused to give in so easily, rather deciding to tease her a bit longer. she hadn’t obeyed him, after all - something that wasn’t acceptable. so he lifted her into his arms effortlessly and acted as if he were going to deposit her on the bed before making a swift turn for the refresher, instead setting her atop the sink counter. “baby didn’t take a bath like she was supposed to, did she?” the nickname came to mind out of the blue, but kylo decided he liked it as he moved quickly to turn on the water, beginning to fill up the tub. then he moved back to her, pinning her hands behind her back as he leaned down to suck on a sweet spot on her neck before digging his teeth into her skin. just as he did so, his hand slid between her legs to ghost over her folds. fuck, did he like that. the noise she made, the way she felt, all of it. “now…is baby gonna be a good girl now and listen to her master?”

just as she felt his fingers beginning to tighten on her breast, he was suddenly tearing away from her in an instant, and rey stepped back, keeping her gaze intense. normally she might’ve feared for his anger with such a rapid movement, but she knew in her heart what he was feeling right now. lust. passion. need. just as she was. she felt the chair collapse to the ground at their feet, but kept all her focus on him as they began kissing passionately, unable to press their lips far enough against one another. suddenly she was off her feet and seated on his desk, and rey couldn’t help but let out a groan against his lips. stars had she missed this. it’d been weeks. even before his return to the dark, they hadn’t been physically intimate in a short while. never would she allow that to happen again. she allowed him to ravish her body, from her neck to her chest to her abdomen, and willingly parted her legs for him to stand between and press against. she was already practically soaking wet at this point, yearning for his touch. as he spoke against her breasts, rey moaned again, not daring to speak against him. not that she wanted to; she hadn’t heard this level of dominance in him in so long. too long. not only was he speaking that way, but his actions were mirroring it. a gasp left her as ben flipped her over onto her stomach, and she braced herself for what she knew was coming next. the slap was a rather hard one, and she couldn’t help the yelp that left her lips. that would sting for a bit, which she knew was his intention. somehow he managed to make his spanks echo with pain for a good while after he’d hit her. when she was turned back over so she was face up, rey panted heavily, laying in a disheveled shape on top of his desk with her legs still parted. “...you want this,” she whispered in response, spreading her legs even wider and showing off her glistening nether regions. “you want to be inside of me and you want to control me.” all things she wanted as well. she figured that would be it: he’d remove himself from his sweatpants and enter her once and for all. but instead he lifted her up into his arms, although rey remained patient. they were going to the bed. they must be. evidently not, as they took the turn for the refresher. she clenched her jaw and groaned in frustration, attempting to keep the sour look off her face. but she couldn’t help the longing inside her. her body physically ached for him, but her soul did as well. she couldn’t wait a moment longer. however, she let out a soft breath at his question, shaking her head in response. “no, master, i did not,” she admitted quietly, feeling the corners of her lips turn up slightly at the nickname he’d settled on for her. kriff, she loved it. it fit them so well. as he turned on the water, rey adjusted herself on the counter, forcing herself to keep from grinding her center against it to get some sort of friction. she was tempted to press her own fingers against herself before he’d returned and pinned her hands behind her, evidently reading her very thoughts. another yelp left her at the feeling of his teeth burying themselves into her neck, but it mixed pleasurably with the sensation of his hand between her legs. finally. she moaned loudly now, not holding herself back with her responses. not only was it impossible for her to show her adoration for his actions, but she knew it would only boost his confidence more. never would he doubt himself again. she breathed heavier as he spoke, biting her lip lightly. as much as she wanted to obey him, she knew there wasn’t a chance in hell she’d be able to stay still enough for a bath. “...no, i can’t,” she whined, risking the chance of punishment to beg for him further. “i don’t want a bath, master, i want you.” at once, she attempted to struggle against his hand, which continued to hold both her wrists behind her back, wanting to strip him of his own clothes so they could connect their bodies together. but he was asserting his dominance right now, and certainly her being impatient wouldn’t go over too well with him. she’d already pulled him away from his work and ignored his demand for her to clean up. “i-i want to obey you, but i need to feel you, please,” she begged, sounding as lame as she was sure she looked. she was completely at his mercy now, that much was obvious, and the decision laid entirely up to him regarding their next steps. still, rey attempted to sway him in her direction. “please, please, please, master...” she whimpered, continuing to squirm in his grip on the countertop and grind herself against his fingers. “i-i won’t disobey for th-the rest of the night, i promise...”

[ofscavenging]

darkminded-ren‌:

she was easily going along with his teasing, playing innocent as she seemed to do quite often these days. but he knew she’d only ordered those clothes out of consideration for him, even if she hadn’t quite gotten the colors right to his preference. his eyebrows furrowed when she looked down before her gaze flickered back up to his own, and then she was stepping closer…much closer. the new contact plus the sudden name she addressed him as suddenly had kylo flustered, his cheeks flushing pink instantly. it didn’t take him long to realize what exactly she was referring to, and his breath hitched in his throat as she fell to her knees, her eyes still gazing up at him with admiration. all he could bring himself to do was watch as she leaned forward to kiss him through his pants, and kylo felt his cock nearly jump at the contact. because he’d forgone the underwear, all that was between them was the thin material of the sweatpants, and he suddenly hated them for that sole reason. but he regained his logic shortly afterwards, still at a loss for words for what she’d just done. his body wanted more. perhaps his brain did too, but what if he got carried away? if they both did? it was starting to seem like less and less of a bad idea, kylo had to admit. but then she was kissing his lips as well, and he found it insanely difficult not to grab her body and pull her against him. not right now. they still hadn’t eaten, and it just…he had to be better prepared somehow. “…for you, i won’t,” he mumbled against her lips, recalling her earlier statement that she’d made to him about eating. then he released her and watched as she moved to finish up the sandwiches before retrieving the berries from the refrigerator and setting them in a dish for them to share. just as he sat down, rey easily took a seat on top of him, causing kylo to let out a small grunt at the contact once again. his member had already reacted to her kiss, but the feeling of it pressed against her ass now was only make things more difficult. kylo was quite sure he had a boner now, but he tried to ignore it, figuring that maybe, just maybe, she wouldn’t notice. he’d deal with it later somehow. instead, he tried to focus solely on eating, bringing the sandwich to his lips before taking several consecutive bites. it was delicious, and though it was quite a simple meal to make, he still found himself impressed with how easily she’d done it. “you’re not a bad chef, you know,” kylo murmured, alternating to a few berries before finishing up the rest of the grilled cheese. “cooking just might be your forte as well.” he knew that if she practiced with some more recipes, rey could make her own meals in no time. that was, if she had the patience for it. as she turned to face him, kylo’s eyes focused on her hands as she played with his fingers, suddenly adoring the size difference between the two. then his gaze flickered back to hers, and he shook his head. “i’ve got a few things to go over, but that can be done right here,” he explained, a small smile playing at his lips. it felt like a relief knowing that he didn’t have to leave his quarters for the rest of the evening. however, tomorrow would be packed with meetings, and he wasn’t looking forward to that. kylo quickly became distracted once again as she took his fingers into her mouth, her eyes wide and innocent, though his own thoughts were far from it. he could’ve sworn his cock twitched again in his pants, and he hated his stupid desires in that moment. right now, they were incredibly inconvenient. “i’m not going anywhere. not for the night, at least.” hopefully his assurance was enough to satisfy her, and he leaned in to press another kiss to her neck, though he knew he needed to adjust himself before he became any stiffer. carefully, he set her back on her feet, then stood up slowly before taking both of the empty plates and setting them in the sink. it didn’t take long for him to realize just how obvious he appeared, so he remained facing the sink with his back to her, suddenly feeling embarrassed all over again. so he kept the subject modest, rinsing the plates to keep himself busy. “don’t forget to take a shower or a bath before you get changed into any new clothes. i’ll just be at my desk for a bit, filling out some papers. let me know if you need help with anything, alright?” with that he shut off the water and turned to head back towards his office space, knowing that if anything would turn him off, it would be first order paperwork. as much as he hated to do it, it had to get done, and he’d already put it off for long enough. 

it satisfied rey to hear that he didn’t have anymore meetings to attend for the rest of the day, but she could tell he was already thinking about the following day’s schedule. he must have a packed schedule; his expression was giving away his drifting thoughts instantly. she didn’t find herself too disappointed, though. he was always busy, even before when he’d been leaning more towards the light than he had in a long, long while. getting him away from the constraints of the first order would prove to be most difficult in her mission of attempting to take it down. having the power that he did, after years of craving it, it wouldn’t be so easy to pull him away. so for now, she would ride this wave with him, until she could get him his memory back then once again work on tearing him away from this dreadful place. it comforted her to know that he wasn’t going anywhere, but he didn’t quite answer her request. she wanted to not be apart from him, but he made no such promise. she’d bring it up again, later that night, to see if she could accompany him when he began diving back into his work, no matter where it was. surely he wouldn’t find it easy to say no, so hopefully he would just allow it. rey smiled softly in content at the feeling of his lips on her neck but knitted her eyebrows in instant confusion as she suddenly felt herself being lifted to her feet. “ben?” she asked, turning towards him urgently. but he was already on his own feet, and carrying their empty plates to the sink. rey tilted her head curiously, studying his body language. what was suddenly wrong with him? it’s almost as if he was trying to hide something. something on his front-... oh. that explained it. within seconds, a grin had broken out onto rey’s face, and she blushed softly. she had managed to make his body react like that due to her simple affectionate actions, and it gave her a small amount of pride to know. but she wouldn’t rub it in, not wanting it to be an uncomfortable thing for him. now he was trying to shoo her off, attempting to order her to take a bath or shower on her own. but no. he wouldn’t be able to get any work done. she knew that. neither of them would be able to focus on anything else. not until... as he moved towards his desk, rey’s eyes followed him, her grin turning into a more sultry smirk. then she took slow, gradual steps towards his room, letting him think she was heading to the refresher to clean up. of course she wasn’t, though. instead, rey stripped herself of her dress and undergarments, though she left the braid in her hair. she wanted him to see how much she truly did adore it. once she was completely bare, she noiselessly made her way over to him, studying him carefully. then she slowly and carefully wrapped her arms around his neck from behind, leaning down to nestle her face close to his. “you don’t understand what you do to me... no one in the galaxy makes me feel the way you do...” she whispered sensually, repeatedly pressing her lips in a steady pattern across the right side of his face. “let’s not run away from it anymore, ben... we both want it... and you will not hurt me, the doctor said so herself...” luckily, it’d been confirmed during the checkup; rey had brought it up when ben wasn’t in the room, genuinely wanting to know if having sex would hurt the baby. apparently it wouldn’t even a bit. and now there was nothing holding her back. “we can finish this later,” she mumbled against his cheek, eyes darting towards his papers before she slowly pushed them towards the back corner of his desk. her fingers wrapped around his hand, willing him to release the pen that was in his grip. then she held it tightly, a silent sign that she trusted him one hundred percent of the way, before moving it up and over his shoulder to her chest, allowing his fingers to grip onto her breast. she groaned against his face, eyes falling shut. “touch me, ben... i want to feel you... please...” she begged, still resting her face against his. daring to bait him just a bit further, she tightened his hand over her breast before leaning down to nibble on his bottom lip. “please... master ren...”

[ofscavenging]

darkminded-ren‌:

rey’s birthday. a day she probably wouldn’t have even known about if he hadn’t happened to be given this folder with all the information he could ever ask for about her. then again, he hardly cared for any of it. kylo found himself much preferring when she told him about her life than reading about it from someone else’s biased perspective. but the birth date had to be correct…why would anyone lie about that? he swallowed thickly, considering if she’d ever properly celebrated a birthday. kylo was likely the last person to celebrate birthdays, but he couldn’t stop thinking that she’d never had the chance to experience it. maybe…perhaps he could arrange something for her. take the day with her, to “train” - rather, order her some gifts and let her choose an activity. as long as it stayed secretive, he didn’t see a problem with doing just that. just as he was thinking of what to possibly give her, kylo heard the doctor address him, realizing the appointment was finally wrapping up. immediately he slid the folder into the closed drawer of the nightstand before making his way back into the living room, his eyes instantly drawing towards rey to make sure she was doing okay. the expression on her face and her immediate actions of affection only confirmed that she was, and he felt a wave of relief knowing that there would be further progress to cure the odd disease she had. he couldn’t bear to have her suffer from it for much longer. as the doctor spoke to him, kylo reluctantly turned his attention towards the other woman, nodding at her instructions. he hadn’t done the best job at making sure rey ate the recommended three meals a day, but he’d have to become more strict with that now. no more skipping meals. perhaps more fruits and vegetables in her diet as well. just as he was prepared to open the door to show doctor tuspin out, she turned to speak to him again, this time as if it were to be a secret between the two of them. it was slightly unnerving at first, but he listened intently regardless. as much as he hated being told what to do, kylo knew the doctor would only have rey’s best interests at heart, as did he. so he nodded finally, a small sigh escaping him. “i will see what i can do to get her that fresh air. we just returned from a training trip off-world, but there will be other opportunities for her to get outdoors. i’ll see to it.” with that, he thanked the doctor and closed the door behind her as she left, letting out another sigh as he started to contemplate what he could do to take rey outside more without suspicions arising throughout the entire ship. if snoke were to find out he was adhering to more of her wishes, they would both suffer for it. but then rey was in front of him and standing on her toes to kiss him, and he felt the small smile return to his lips as his previous worries seemed to fade in the moment. kriff, did she know how to brighten his mood. it was decided - he had to do something special for her for her birthday. he just wasn’t sure what just yet, or how. kylo followed her to the stovetop and watched as she started the sandwiches grilling, chuckling at her statement before he recalled what the doctor mentioned. surely one night wouldn’t make much of a difference, but this couldn’t become too much of a habit. “we’ll be having some aega berries with our meal as well,” kylo remarked, moving towards the fridge to retrieve them and setting them out. at least it would be somewhat of a balanced meal. now that the doctor had departed and hopefully they wouldn’t have any more company for the rest of the night, he figured he might as well change into some more comfortable clothing. “i’ll be right back, just keep an eye on those,” kylo murmured as his hands slid around her waist from behind, planting a chaste kiss to her jaw before turning to head back into the bedroom. his bag was still only half unpacked, and most of the clothes he’d brought had been worn already, so he headed towards the drawers instead. but to his surprise, his usual black lounge wear had seemingly been replaced with…blues, beiges and greys. when had this happened?! “what the fuck,” kylo muttered to himself as he pulled out a navy blue t-shirt and a pair of grey sweatpants. where had they come from? furrowing his eyebrows, he realized there could only be one explanation - rey’s shopping order. when he’d allowed her to order clothes for herself, he hadn’t thought that she would order clothes for him as well. it was somewhat of an annoyance, but it wasn’t the worst thing to deal with right now. so he begrudgingly pulled off his dark black tunic, trousers and briefs, then tugged on the sweatpants and pulled the t-shirt over his head. if anything, he had to admit they were quite comfortable. besides, it wasn’t like he’d be wearing them outside of his quarters anyways. once the dirty clothes were tossed in the hamper, kylo made his way back out to the kitchen, giving rey a pointed look as he crossed his arms over his chest. “i see you went a bit overboard with ordering new clothing? did i say you were to order clothes for me as well?” still, a playful hint in his eye assured her that he wasn’t upset, not truly. 

berries? rey crinkled her nose, wondering why he was suddenly insisting on that. but she recalled the doctor’s explanation of her being somewhat malnourished and sighed again. obviously this was his way of trying to combat that. she’d have some, for his sake. but not a lot. “fine,” she murmured passively, flipping one of the pieces of bread then placing the cheese on top of it. she let out a giggle as she felt his hands caress her from behind then nodded once as she toyed with the other piece of bread on the stove. surely he was just going to the bathroom or unpacking their things. by the time he returned to her, rey noticed it had been slightly longer than she’d expected, and as she turned to face him, she suddenly recalled why. her eyes widened as her cheeks paled, noting his firm stature. uh oh. he was mad. she opened her mouth to try to apologize, to say that he could throw them all away, but stopped as she sensed the tone he used as he playfully quipped at her. within seconds, a smirk formed on her lips as she set the spatula down then approached him. “not technically...” she responded, feigning innocence as she made her way over to him and straightened out his shirt, her eyes giving him a once-over. then she smiled wider, having to bite her lower lip at the extremely welcome sight of his bulge. stars, this would be difficult. “master ren...” she drawled seductively, her voice teetering between a whine and a whisper, then placed her hands on his waist and pressed their hips together, moaning lightly at the feeling of his hardness against her. “so big... so perfect...” as insanely attracted as she was to him right now ( damn hormones ), she knew better than to push him too far without mentally preparing him for it. she wouldn’t touch, but she could sure as hell worship. slowly, rey dropped to her knees before him, keeping her eyes on his though she kept her face close to his pelvic region. “my favorite place in the entire galaxy...” she quirked an eyebrow at him, still staring into his eyes as she leaned up to press a featherlight kiss to his member over the sweatpants. kriff, she missed it so much. feeling it inside her, taking it into her mouth... hell, even just laying her hand over it. next to being in his arms, there was no place she’d rather be. however, not wanting to panic him too much, rey slowly climbed to her feet again with another smirk, leaning up to kiss him softly. “please don’t take them off...” she requested in a whisper against his lips. never would she, nor could she, give him an order, but hopefully he’d at least consider her wishes when it came to this. she had no doubts it would only spark more of his dominance. which she adored. after pecking his lips one more time, rey forced herself to step away and back towards the stove. luckily the sandwiches seemed to be at a perfect temperature, so she plated both of them and brought them to the table, allowing him to bring the berries. without hesitation, rey took her place on his lap to begin eating, alternating between eating the sandwich and eating the berries when he prodded her to. by some stroke of luck, she’d managed to finish the entire sandwich and the minimum amount of berries he’d insisted on, though she felt insanely full afterwards. “that was so good,” she sighed, leaning back against him and tucking her head into his neck. technically, it was only lunchtime, but it may be enough to be her sole meal of the day. if he let her get away with it. who knew? “do you have to go to any meetings today?” she murmured quietly, playing with his fingers as she turned her head to look up into his eyes. she wasn’t sure if he’d booked the second half of his day after they’d returned from the trip, but the last thing she wanted to do was let him go. not after how close they’d grown during their time on endor. but maybe... maybe he’d let her accompany him. perhaps the only perk of ben losing his memory was that he didn’t recall her previous misbehavior. meaning he’d be more willing to take her along with him to outings beyond their quarters. she just couldn’t screw it up too bad; he wasn’t technically hers again yet. if she pushed it too far, he might never be again. “i wanna stay with you, no matter what...” she added, pushing the tips of his fingers into her mouth. something she did to him often, but something he wouldn’t recall. before his return to the dark, he’d become used to his fingers often being in her mouth. even if they were in public, he would allow it. “please...?”

[ofscavenging]

darkminded-ren‌:

following rey and the doctor into the other room, kylo remained mostly silent, allowing the two women to converse as they needed. but his eyes shot to the doctor when rey mentioned explaining the illness, hoping she’d have more to say about it. he felt her smaller hand interlace with his own and leaned against the armrest of the couch, allowing for a bit of easier access for her. however, the doctor didn’t seem to address him at all just yet, causing him to frown as he watched her lay the blanket over rey. still, he remained quiet, figuring she might have more to say after the most recent evaluation. kylo attempted to stay patient, glancing between the two as they discussed rey’s symptoms. he felt his concern grow at the mention of her gaining more weight, but doctor tuspin seemed oddly calm regarding the statement. as if it were a normal side effect of whatever her illness was. it still baffled him that he’d never heard of such thing as this before, but he didn’t speak up just yet. feeling her grip tighten, kylo’s attention was immediately turned back to rey, sensing her apprehension. his free hand came to cradle her cheek briefly before pushing some loose hair away from her face, shooting her a promising glance. “it’s okay,” he whispered, relieved that the doctor hadn’t seemed to notice him being so affectionate with her. or…had she? either way, it wasn’t too important right now. he refocused his attention on doctor tuspin as she spoke to him finally, his expression just as firm as her tone. he nodded at her words, though his features fell as she described the mysterious disorder to him. do nothing? so rey was expected to suffer like this for the rest of her life, with the condition only worsening? there was only so much worse it could get. “there’s no cure?! what’s it called? how did she get it and how can it go away?” kylo felt his voice growing more frantic, his hand slipping from rey’s as he began expressing his frustration with his motions. the doctor seemed to remain calm, but there was a certain look in her eye that made him assume he was beginning to worry her just a bit. “it’s a very rare condition…called digestidiosis,” she explained, though truthfully it didn’t explain much. again, kylo had never heard of it, so this wasn’t helping much. “it’s something that comes and goes every few years or so. it will last for several months or so, then disappear completely. then it may return within the new few years and the cycle repeats.” doctor tuspin glanced at rey again, who seemed surprisingly calm about all of this. kylo was still confused, but it relieved him just a bit to know that eventually, it would go away, at least for a good while. still, he wasn’t completely satisfied with this answer. “…i demand that this disorder be further researched and that a cure be searched for as soon as possible. i won’t have her suffering like this forever,” he decided finally, his voice firm once again as he crossed his arms over her chest. “make it a priority, doctor.” doctor tuspin seemed to let out a small sigh before she nodded, looking between the two once more. then she spoke up again. “now, rey, i do believe we need to discuss how your symptoms may affect your female menstrual cycle…” it didn’t take long for kylo to realize what the topic had become, and he quickly let his arms fall to his sides, taking a small step back. perhaps this was a conversation he didn’t need to hear. “i’ll be…just in the bedroom, going over some things,” he remarked instantly, glancing between the two women before offering a simple nod. “let me know once you’re…finished.” with that, he retreated, though one thing caught his eye before he left. the folder, still left on the floor. swiftly, he picked it up hopefully unnoticed, keeping it hidden at his side as he left the room. perhaps there was more information about her disease in there, more than the doctor even had. if she couldn’t help much at the moment, then he’d look into other options. whatever information he could discover about her. kylo took a seat on the bed as soon as he’d entered the room, cautiously opening up the folder to the first page. basic information about her - still no surname or anything else besides her first name, but there were details such as her hair color, eye color, height, average weight…birthday. he’d never even thought to consider when her birthday was. but what he did realize was just how soon it was. briefly he forgot about what he’d initially been looking for, thinking to the current date. it was only three days away from now. she would be turning twenty years old. did she even know about that? she’d never mentioned it. that was…nine years younger than him. he’d never considered their age difference, but now…

rey knew he wouldn’t accept the news well at all, and she attempted to reach out for him even as he let go of her hand to express his frustrations with it all. his demand for the doctor to find a cure made an anxious crease form between her brows, her gaze drifting to the ground slowly. there was no possible way he’d ever be able to just accept her... condition. not without knowing what it truly was. but they had to try. rey locked eyes with him as the doctor agreed to make it a priority to research the illness, expressing her pure love and gratitude for him in just that one deep look. then she locked eyes with the doctor again, letting her confusion show when she mentioned her menstrual cycle. something she hadn’t had in a couple of months, and wouldn’t anytime soon. but instantly, she picked up on what the doctor was doing, and nodded quickly. “oh, y-yes,” she replied. she knew her ben: he’d be out the door within seconds. rey nearly let out a giggle at his flustered reaction, but simply gave him a small smile as he departed. instantly, she let out a shaky sigh, looking at the doctor again. “is it okay? really?” “yes, rey,” she assured her at once, holding her shoulder in a calming motion. then she lowered her voice so only the two of them would hear. “everything sounds perfectly normal. i just wanted to make sure you were okay before i left. are you taking the medication?” together they discussed her habits and her usual routine, and the doctor did a quick check on her vitals to ensure that she truly was staying healthy. “you’re progressing as normal, rey. though you’re slightly larger than usual being only twelve weeks in, i don’t suspect there’s anything wrong.” rey noticed a hint of something else in the doctor’s gaze, something she hadn’t quite wanted to tell yet, but she didn’t bother to ask. if it was truly vital, she would have told her. “i’m going to bring ben back in now. in the state the first order is in with snoke being back alive, it’s more imperative than ever that you keep this a secret from everyone. including ben. i know it’s difficult, but you cannot risk the life of your child.” rey nodded instantly, though her eyes carried a worried look. she’d always put her child first, no matter what. there was no reason to tell him anytime soon, since he seemed to believe this lie they’ve created, so she could keep that going for a while longer. hopefully, by the end of her pregnancy, he will have turned back and they can live their lives normally. so she hoped. the doctor gave rey’s hair one last pet before calling for ben again. once he was back out to them, rey reached for his hand immediately and tucked her cheek against it, feeling even more affectionate now. he was the father. they were having a baby. it was the greatest thing that had ever happened to her. he just... wouldn’t know it yet. rey pressed her lips to his hand as the doctor began speaking to him. “as i told rey before, make sure to limit any excessive physical activity and any unhealthy, rich foods. she’s still showing signs of malnourishment from her youth so it’s imperative to make sure she gets enough food every day.” that even surprised rey to hear; still, after all these months since escaping jakku, it still took its toll on her. wonderful. the doctor collected her stuff and stood, giving one last glance to rey then letting ben lead her towards the door. “one more thing, sir,” she murmured lowly once in the doorframe, turning back to face him. “i said this when you first brought rey in to be checked over, and you didn’t react too well then, but something tells me you will now,” she began, hinting that she had an idea of their relationship. “don’t keep her locked up in here. let her roam the supremacy, give her a project to work on outside these walls. she’s from jakku. she needs air. otherwise she’ll be as good as that flower.” the doctor nodded to the flower rey had picked off of endor, which was already starting to wilt. ironic. once the doctor was gone, rey slowly rose to her feet again, giving him a gentle smile. “i told you, you have nothing to worry about,” she calmly spoke, moving to him and pressing her lips tenderly to his own. then she took both of his hands, leading him back to the stovetop. she put the bread and cheese on the skillet, turning up the heat. “let’s get these going. i’m definitely putting extra cheese on mine.”

[ofscavenging]

darkminded-ren‌:

nearly every time she kissed him now, kylo had to take a moment to take it all in, to remind himself that this was their new dynamic. that it was okay, that it was right. he chased after her lips with his own to give her one last peck in return before returning a genuine smile this time as they gazed into each other’s eyes. all thoughts of their argument only minutes before had been nearly forgotten, and he watched as her eyes dipped down to the japor snippet he’d given her. kylo hadn’t expected her to like it as much as she did, but he was grateful for it. she didn’t want to take it off, and while it was meant to be mainly a tracking device in case she got lost, he knew it was much more than that. they both did. that small, simple phrase fell from her lips again and he felt a familiar rush, an urge to say it back. but as much as he wanted to…he just couldn’t. not yet. when he did…he had to make it meaningful. he had to tell her everything…not just that alone. when he was ready, he would say it. he had to. kylo didn’t want her to think that it wasn’t reciprocated. so he lifted her up easily as she wrapped herself around him, spinning her around once as his lips found her neck and planted playful kisses all over her soft skin. he was finally starting to feel more confident expressing his feelings and being around her in general, and it felt good. once he’d carried her into the kitchen, he raised his eyebrows slightly at her suggestion before nodding. “i think that’s a perfectly fine idea.” a low chuckle escaped him at her next statement, leaning forward to nuzzle his nose briefly against hers. “oh, do you?” kylo teased in a low whisper, wiggling his eyebrows once more. it took him a moment to consider how she might know how to make grilled cheese sandwiches, but he wondered if that had been something she’d ever eaten as a child. perhaps her mother had taught her once before…the idea made him shudder with frustration at the memory of her parents and how they’d left her behind, and he decided to push the thought aside before it ruined his mood completely. it didn’t matter how she knew - he’d let her show him regardless. if she needed help, he would help her. still, kylo managed to take out all of the materials necessary with one hand, the other arm still supporting her weight against him. then he began to heat up the stove as he prepared to hand her the bread and cheese slices, but it seemed her attention was elsewhere. his eyes met hers as rey simply gazed at him, causing a small blush to form on kylo’s cheeks. no one ever looked at him like she did. maybe there was something wrong…? but the shake of her head denied that thought, and his cheeks turned redder at her next few words. never had kylo thought of himself as beautiful, but he was amazed that she could see him that way. so he allowed his confidence to flare instead of denying it, his eyes flickering to her fingers as they brushed over his lip, then back to her own. seeing as he wasn’t good with words and choosing to express his response with his actions instead, he leaned forward and pressed his lips to hers, his free hand setting the bread and cheese back onto the plate. a bit clumsily, kylo maneuvered them so that he could place her on the countertop, her legs still wrapped around his torso as he moved between them to kiss her better. both hands pulled her waist tighter against him now as he deepened the kiss, getting a bit lost in his own passion for her. kylo could feel his appetite decreasing as his appetite for her increased, feeling that familiar warmth returning to him, and as confident as he was feeling, perhaps he’d be able to follow that instinct now. his hands began to wander a bit, one smoothing over her thigh while the other nearly snaked its way up to her chest before a knock at the door startled him all of a sudden. kylo nearly jumped back, his lips slipping apart from hers as his head turned towards the door. it couldn’t be effie again, could it? no…then again, it had almost been an hour now since they’d summoned the doctor. he’d nearly forgotten about it. offering rey a quick apologetic glance, he untangled her from him and moved towards the door, leaving her still perched on the countertop. opening the door, he quickly sighed in relief at the sight of the familiar doctor, motioning for her to enter. “rey is right in the kitchen,” kylo gestured, closing the door behind her before following the woman into the kitchen. the doctor offered rey a warm smile and moved towards her, offering her hand. “hello, rey. i’m doctor tuspin, i do hope you remember me. are you ready for your health check-up?”

it worried rey initially when she received no response from ben, but soon enough, his gaze had drifted to her own lips and she smirked to herself as she realized just what he was planning on doing. she leaned in to capture his lips just as he went for her own, moving her hands up to his head and threading her fingers in his hair now. their passion seemed to be easier and easier to trigger nowadays, even in simple moments such as these; rey only wondered how long it would be before they could finally, finally connect their bodies as one once more. “oh, ben...” she whispered between kisses, letting him pull her closer to him once she was seated on the countertop. the skirt of her dress had fallen to her hips, causing his glove to come into contact with her bare thigh when he ran his hand up his leg. she could feel his other hand begin to make its way up higher just as the knock at the door startled them both. they didn’t move much from the position they’d been in, since her legs had been chained tightly around his waist, but they both rapidly looked towards the door together with a gasp. then it hit them at the same time. the doctor. rey felt her heart begin to pound in her chest. not only from the moment they’d almost shared, but also due to her apprehension. still, she hated doctors. even though she genuinely adored this specific one, who had done so much to help her since ben’s turn. glancing to ben once more, rey palmed his cheek reassuringly, letting him know it was alright, then wordlessly allowed him to go. she smoothed down her hair and her dress again as ben let the doctor in, looking over at her as she entered. a warm, real smile made its way across rey’s face as she moved to stand on her feet again. “yes, i remember,” she replied somewhat casually, but let her eyes show just how happy she was to see the woman again. she’d helped rey after the sexual assault, after the stormtroopers had punched her in the face, and had informed her of her pregnancy. not to mention the ‘mental evaluation’ she’d performed on rey when she’d seen her last. she was the only other one who knew everything and was really wanting to help. she nodded. “i suppose so,” she replied much less enthusiastically, sending a worried glance over to ben. as she let the doctor lead her to the couch, rey cleared her throat then spoke up again. “ben still doesn’t know about my illness,” she stated carefully, expressing to the doctor that he still didn’t know about the baby. also that he still believed she had some kind of sickness. “i was hoping you could tell him a little bit more about it so that he wouldn’t be so worried.” she shot her a cautious stare as she laid down on the couch, hoping the woman could come up with something on the fly. she seemed to understand as she nodded slowly, and rey bit her lip in relief. then she reached for ben’s hand so that he could be beside her as the doctor looked her over. of course he wouldn’t kneel down ( he rarely did ) but she kept her fingers entwined with his as he stood at her side. “are you still having nausea and weakness? have you been throwing up?” the doctor asked as she laid a blanket over rey’s lower half then lifted her dress up to the bottom of her chest. rey nodded, knowing ben already knew of all this. “yes. almost every day,” she replied. her eyes widened as her eyes settled on her somewhat rounded stomach. it was even more now, and a part of her began to worry at how quickly she was growing. even the doctor seemed to have a thought on her mind, and rey felt her cheeks pale. “is-is it okay?” she asked generically enough that ben wouldn’t be able to figure out what she was truly asking. the doctor seemed almost snapped out of her state of thought and sent a smile to rey, nodding once. “everything should be fine, rey. it seems you’ve gained more weight than expected.” so she was having the same thoughts. at least ben would still think it was just weight gain. without even realizing, her grip tightened on his hand as the doctor took the stethoscope to her abdomen, listening in various areas. “bodily functions are registering as normal, sir,” doctor tuspin spoke to ben now, her voice audibly firmer. but she shot a quick glance to rey, assuring her that it meant the same for the baby too. the doctor looked up at ben again. “sir, i’ve informed rey at her last physical visit while you were out of the room that she had a disorder in which her digestive system did not quite cooperate with her body correctly. it seems this is still the case.” she paused as she figured out how to word the next part to fall in line with the pregnancy signs without worrying him too much. “...her symptoms will worsen over time, but... we must do nothing. we can continue giving her vitamins and fluids and painkillers, but this will only decrease the intensity slightly, not make them go away.” rey was practically frozen in her spot; would ben accept such a diagnosis or would it only worry him more?

[ofscavenging]

darkminded-ren‌:

as she attempted to assure him that it wasn’t him that was the problem, kylo grew skeptical, still feeling at fault for her suffering in the first place. to say that she suffered without him…had they really grown that attached to each other? because yes, the same went for him - he didn’t want her to leave. he would lose all hope of ever actually being happy if she were to leave him. but he wanted to put her happiness above his own regardless, even if that meant leaving this place to be safe and start a better life somewhere else. clearly rey didn’t want to do that, so he wouldn’t force her, but if it came down to being the only way to protect her from snoke, he would release her. the one thing he would not allow to happen would be for rey to suffer at snoke’s will again. he had a strong feeling she would not survive it, and truthfully, neither would he. glancing up at her as she corrected him, kylo’s eyebrows furrowed in confusion, shaking his head slightly. it was the truth. even if he had started to consider what detaching himself from snoke and the first order as it was now would be like, it was a far off image. something he wasn’t sure he could ever actually do. but he carefully handed her the folder, watching her intently as she took it in her hands and seemed to examine it for a moment. it was as if she was afraid to look inside and see what information it held about her, and for a moment he thought solely of her past, of the hardships she must have gone through her entire life. to think that the first order had kept tabs on her for so long without his knowledge sent a disgusted shiver up his spine, absolutely hating the idea of so many eyes being on her, of people just waiting for her to mess up and fail. it was starting to aggravate him to the point that his fists had involuntarily clenched in his lap now, and he had to physically force himself to relax once more. his eyes flickered back to her expression, noticing as her features only seemed to fall by the second. “rey,” he coaxed her gently, though she was nearly unresponsive, still apparently taking in whatever information was on the first few pages of the folder. kylo couldn’t help but hear the few whimpers and sniffles that followed, and soon he noticed her eyes glistening with tears that had yet to fall. but then they did. immediately he realized that perhaps allowing her to look at the file might not have been the best idea. just as the folder fell from her lap, he took it and placed it on the table in front of them before instantly undoing her binders. he still had no idea why she’d put them on, but he wanted to make it clear to her that she didn’t need to wear them in their quarters. kylo wasn’t even completely sure what it was that had set her off, but he didn’t necessarily care at the moment. it had upset her, and he had to deal with that before he looked over the file himself. so he thought back to what his parents had done whenever he’d cried as a child; it happened rarely, though when it did, only certain things had managed to calm him down. “come on,” kylo coaxed her again, even softer this time as he easily lifted her into his lap, his arms encircling her smaller form. he decided to let her sob against his chest for a few more moments before taking a deep breath and finally speaking up. “you know…whatever is in there, it won’t change the way i see you. the past is in the past. i don’t care where you came from or what you had to do to survive, because somehow it brought you to me and i…i couldn’t possibly ask for more than that.” it was true. never had he thought he’d feel half as happy as he did with her, much less pictured himself caring so strongly for a woman. kylo had accepted living a lonely life, but she was changing that, little by little. without thinking about it too much, he brushed some hair away from her forehead and planted a gentle kiss to it, his hand moving to tuck the hair behind her ear. “don’t cry, cyar’ika, it’ll be okay…” his mother must have spoken the same words to him as a young boy, and the realization send another shudder down his spine. but it only caused him to hold onto her tighter, a few breaths escaping him as he hoped the statement was correct. somehow, it would be okay. she would be okay. he’d make sure of it. “let’s focus on something else for a bit, alright?” kylo adjusted himself slightly, helping her sit up just a bit before gesturing towards the kitchen. “i truly do think some food would help things calm down just a bit…and then after the doctor leaves, we can do whatever you want to do for the rest of the night. i’ll get back to my work requirements tomorrow.” he tilted his head to level his gaze with hers, his eyes wide and almost pleading as the smallest smile played at his lips. “please eat something, rey. for me?”

suddenly the link holding her wrists together had been removed, but rey only continued sobbing into her curled up hands. though none of the information in the folder had been new, it still hurt terribly. in the eyes of the first order, of the government, of the galaxy, she was still property of unkar plutt. she was ‘stolen’ from him and now under official first order watch. it killed her to think about. but before she could dive further into her sorrows regarding it, she heard a familiar voice call to her, and in an instant, she reached her arms out in its direction. ben’s familiar arms came around her tenderly and brought her into his lap where he sat on the chair adjacent to the matching couch. without a second thought, rey curled up against his chest tightly, crying into it as he allowed her to. already, though, his notions were working wonders and her tears began to subside. now she took simple, small gasps of breath as he spoke to her so gently, absorbing each word he was saying. he confirmed every fear she held about her past: that he didn’t care about any of it. he cared about her. not where she came from. rey wanted to sob again, this time out of her pure affection for him, but managed to barely hold it back as she breathed steadily, dragging her gaze up to his. at the feeling of his hand smoothing her hair back and his lips pressing to her forehead, rey let her eyes slip shut as she was calmed further, relaxing visibly even at just the nickname he gave her. she loved him so terribly. through every up and down in her life, he was there. he never faltered to show her the utmost amount of devotion, and she would never be able to repay him for it. at his question, she nodded softly with a small sniff, wiping at her eyes one last time. they were still swollen and red, but her tears had successfully halted. all due to him. now she couldn’t tear her eyes off of him... until he brought up the idea of eating. she didn’t feel much like it after how unsteady the last few minutes had made her, but she didn’t quite reject him. she began to look down at the ground in contemplation when he stole her gaze again and playfully pleaded with her. it was enough to coax a small giggle out of her, her chin tilted down, as she shyly blushed. only he could make her this happy after a somewhat traumatic moment. he was... perfect. “...okay... for you,” she whispered, wanting to remind him how much she truly wanted to give back to him, then leaned forward and pecked his lips gently, cradling his cheeks in her hands. when she pulled away, rey glanced down at her chest, taking the small japor snippet pendant of her necklace into her fingers. it was one of the first signs he’d given her of his reignited feelings towards her, and now it meant so much more. she smiled up at him as he noticed it as well, and she whispered, “i told you i’d never take it off... i love you...” not expecting a response, rey wrapped her arms around his neck and her legs around his waist so he could more easily pick her up. of course; especially when her emotions were fragile, it was their preferred method of traveling. “...can we make something together?” she suggested when they reached the kitchen, looking into his eyes again. “i know how to make grilled cheese...” she briefly recalled the memory of them making it together on the morning following the punishment he’d given her on the interrogation bench. he’d held her around his waist just as he was now and instructed her on how to do it. but she decided not to mention it, having given up on trying to convince him of their existing union. she kissed his cheek and cradled her head against his as she watched him prepare the meal, her fingers playing with the ends of his wavy black hair. stars, was he handsome with his hair this long. she looked up at him again and simply stared at his facial features now, grinning shyly when he noticed her watching. she shook her head, not wanting him to think anything was wrong. “...you’re beautiful...” she whispered in explanation, passion outlining each word. he truly was. her fingers ran across his bottom lip. “i’m so grateful for you...”

[ofscavenging]

darkminded-ren‌:

a small part of him wondered if this could possibly be a trap somehow, another plan of snoke’s, but kylo didn’t figure how it would benefit the supreme leader in any way. all he had done was provide kylo with more information about rey’s past, or so it seemed. he still stared down at the folder in his hands, suddenly feeling a wave of protectiveness wash over him. how long had snoke known about rey? he had figured it had only been since she’d acquired the droid they needed, but something told him it could have stemmed further back than that. if there was this much information on rey that existed in the first order database, then he had to have known more about her from the beginning. it was as if snoke had been preying on rey, but then had decided to hand her down to his apprentice to take care of instead. of course kylo hadn’t expected to grow this attached to her, and the idea of that being the case made his jaw quiver with fury. he couldn’t allow snoke to use her the way he did with him. she’d helped him realize that it was true. snoke would take what he wanted and when kylo was no longer of use to him, that would be it. which was precisely why they had to remove snoke from the picture altogether before anything could possibly happen to rey or himself. her soft, quiet voice shook him from his thoughts and kylo glanced up from the folder to her spot on the couch, watching as she blinked up at him for a few moments before pushing herself to a sitting position once again. he eyed the binders briefly, still unsure of why she had put them on willingly without being prompted to (in his quarters, of all places), then flickered his gaze back to her, considering her question. without a doubt, he would read the file. he had to know what it said. but he supposed it wouldn’t be bad for her to see it as well, save for a bit upsetting. rey’s next confession distracted him, however, and kylo lowered the folder to his side, glancing down at the floor before meeting her gaze as she willed him to once again. her eyes were gentle and pleading, her words growing softer as she spoke them. there was a brief flutter in his heart when she told him she loved him again, but it quickly dissipated into butterflies in his stomach as he brought his free hand to his forehead to wipe away a bit of anxious sweat. “you say you love me, b-but…you’re not happy with me here,” kylo responded quietly, feeling the pain in his chest now as he finally spoke the obvious truth aloud. “and i…i will never understand why you say you love me. if it weren’t for me, you might have never arrived here. you might still be with your friends. you wouldn’t be suffering…you wouldn’t have to stay.” he didn’t know where all of the honesty was suddenly coming from, but it spilled from his lips easily, and he instantly felt ashamed for showing his vulnerability. “i want to help you somehow, i do, but…i don’t think it will be as easy for me to be helped.” gulping, he glanced back down at the folder as he brought it upwards once again, desperately wanting to know what information it had. but he recalled her earlier request and chewed on his lip for a moment, forcing himself to keep his emotions restrained. “…you may look at it first,” kylo finally decided, carefully handing her the folder before taking a seat in the chair next to the couch. “but i must read over it afterwards.” he paused for a moment, a thought crossing his mind. “there may even be information in there that could be valuable to discovering the cause of your illness…” he hoped there was, but then again, snoke would have her disposed of immediately if he knew she had such a condition. she must have managed to keep it a secret somehow. 

rey shook her head. “i am happy with you,” she corrected him, putting a bit of firmness behind her tone though she kept her voice gentle. she needed him to know that it was never him that made her unhappy, but rather everything around them. it was the situation they happened to be in. this rung true for ben both before he’d turned and at that moment. her eyes saddened at his words. though they held some truth to them, they were generally far from it. she shook her head slowly once more. “every minute that i am not with you, i am suffering... i can’t leave you. and i won’t. no matter how hard it gets.” rey found herself in a tough spot as she deliberated her words. though it was true that she couldn’t imagine herself ever leaving him, she also had another life to take into consideration. the one growing inside her. if snoke ended up torturing her physically, it would only harm the baby as well. at a certain point, she’d have to leave, in that case. then she could return for him once the baby was born. she hated the thought of that, as she didn’t want her child to start their lives without their mother and father, but it might eventually reach that point. which horrified her. “you’re wrong,” she whispered immediately after her spoke, staring down at the table now. he could emancipate himself from all this. he’d destroyed snoke before, he could do it again. however, it was clearly a conversation for a different time as the folder he handed her came into view. a shudder ran involuntarily up her spine. what information would it hold? would they somehow have found out about the pregnancy? would... would it reveal the identity of her parents, at long last? ben had told her they’d abandoned her then died, but what if this told her who they truly were? tears pricked her eyes as she tuned out every word he spoke after, her sights only narrowing in on the folder before her. it wasn’t terribly thick, as her life wasn’t terribly fascinating, but... there was a good amount. after taking a deep breath, rey pulled it open slowly ( it was difficult with her wrists cuffed, but she managed ), making sure to hold it in such a way that he couldn’t see it just yet. just in case there was any sort of information she needed to keep from him. the first page contained a chart of information, as well as a photograph of her on jakku, when she’d been running from the tie fighters that were chasing her, finn, and bb-8. how long ago that seemed. she glossed over the basic info including her height, weight, and something initialed d.o.b. ( the meaning of which she did not know, but was followed with a few numbers ). then was her medical info, surely supplied by the doctor. thankfully, there was no indication of her pregnancy, which was good. nothing about her illness at all, which would surely frustrate ben; but the doctor would be here soon anyway, so it wouldn’t much matter. the next results were stated to be taken from her blood test, causing her eyebrows to furrow in confusion. when had she done a blood test? she read the date it said it was performed, and suddenly the blood drained from her face. it was the day she’d been taken advantage of by the officer in the conference room. the doctor had knocked her out while she’d been panicking and ben told her afterwards that they’d taken blood from her. of course. she took a shaky, deep breath, a tear dripping down her cheek, and once again glossed over where it said all her deficiencies were. at the bottom, someone had neatly written the word ‘malnourished’. no shocker there. she turned to the next page, and the next. none of this was any secret. it was all the documentation of her and finn on jakku, and then takodana. of course there was no mention of ben capturing her on takodana, since he had no memory of that. surely they wanted to keep it that way. the next page she flipped to made her heart stop, a shaky gasp leaving her. somehow they had retrieved pictures of her throughout her younger years on jakku. from being a toddler to a teenager. walking along the plains of jakku, sitting outside her makeshift at-at home, cleaning up her scavenged parts. more tears fell from her eyes as she glanced at the documents that came along with it. the most prevalent one appearing like a deed to a house. but instead... it was a deed to her. and the owner? unkar plutt. this was the paper that proved his ownership over her life. a small sob left her as her hand came up to her mouth, the binders dragging the other along with it. it was so painful, facing all this. they had pages from her journal that she’d kept as a child, scraps of her clothes fabric. they’d completely invaded her life. yet not a single drop of information regarding her parents. suddenly it became all too much as her sobs increased, the folder slipping from her lap and onto the couch cushion. she figured they had only taken information from her recent doings, wanting to pose her as a threat to the first order ( perhaps there was more of that information in the pages behind the ones outlining her childhood ) but she could barely get through just the first part. she continued to weep heavily as she tucked her knees to her chest, only wishing she could feel ben’s comfort and warmth in this moment.

[ofscavenging]

darkminded-ren‌:

a large part of him expected for her to consider his offer and take him up on it, finally realizing that she would be better off away from him and the first order altogether. screw the information about the map to luke - kylo hadn’t thought of his uncle in weeks, and finding him had been nowhere on his list of priorities as of lately. he had nothing left to take from her. his feelings were nothing in comparison to the opportunities that laid ahead for her if she were to just leave. but still, a small, selfish, aching part of him hoped she would stay. that they’d deal with snoke somehow and then figure out what to do from there, together. she could rule by his side - they could bring a new order to the galaxy. but would she be able to last long enough to get to that point? he was still waiting for some sort of answer from her when she simply walked past him, leaving him completely dumbfounded. it took him a moment to finally turn around, watching as she retrieved the broom and dustpan and began sweeping up his mess. “what - why are you…” kylo found himself at a loss for words, realizing that she’d basically just ignored him, which frustrated him even more. but he was still too confused to respond, instead just staring as rey moved to the bookcase now to replace the books. when she paused and winced in pain, he had half an instinct to run to her side, but he kept his feet planted stubbornly, watching closely to make sure it was nothing too serious. as she slowly made her way out of the bedroom, kylo gave a flick of his finger to slide the book back into place on the top shelf, then followed behind her. his frustration began to arise once more as she seemingly ignored him again, even as his thoughts finally caught up to him. “…fine, don’t talk to me. leave things unresolved, just leave it all up to me! i’ll fly you back to endor and you can live with the ewoks and never have to leave there again. in fact, if that was what you wanted, you should have just told me while we were still there! i would’ve happily obliged!” he knew his own emotions were starting to get the better of him, but all he could do was huff and scowl in anger as she locked the binders on her wrists for some reason, then curled up on the couch. kylo didn’t understand her. he was prepared to roll her over and force her to give him some sort of response when there was a sharp knock at the door, causing him to nearly jump in surprise. the doctor must have been early…letting out a grumble, kylo turned around to pace over to the door and open it, forgetting in his frustration to even check who it was. but it wasn’t the doctor. “effie,” he spoke, hardly getting to finish saying her name before the young woman was eagerly enveloping him into a hug. kylo froze in place, completely unsure of how to respond. his arms stayed at his sides, feeling quite a bit uncomfortable before she pulled away, a stunned expression now on his face. “i’m so glad you returned safely from your training mission with the prisoner,” effie drawled, a beaming smile on her lips. she glanced down at a folder she had in her hand, her expression dimming a bit before she looked back up at him. “speaking of which…the supreme leader ordered for this to be delivered. it’s the scavenger’s record since we discovered her whereabouts on takodana. shows all of her known data, all of the trouble she’s caused for the first order…he presumed it might be useful for you to keep, particularly if you mean to keep her in line, being your captive and all.” effie glanced past him, seemingly eyeing rey on the couch, taking evident notice of the binders on her wrists as a small smirk formed on her lips. “seems you’re doing an excellent job of that already, though,” she added, her hand reaching out to give his bicep a tentative squeeze. kylo had no idea what to say in response but flinched a bit and took the folder from her, a bit curious as to why snoke would be giving him this now. still, he was intrigued to look it over. “also,” effie spoke again, interrupting his thoughts. “we must have that lunch we discussed before you left. plenty of things we should go over.” she blinked up at him with a smile before dragging her hand down his arm, then finally releasing it. he awkwardly tugged it closer to his side, knowing that in any other logical mental state, he would’ve told her immediately not to touch him. it wasn’t something he allowed many people to do, but right now he was too stressed out to mention it. “let me know when you’re free.” before he could respond, she spun on her heel, letting the door slide shut behind her. disregarding her invitation, kylo glanced down at the folder in his hands, wondering just how much information the first order had managed to retrieve about rey - likely before he’d even met her. it was a bit unnerving, but at the same time, he’d be lying if he said he didn’t want to know everything he could find out about her.

it seemed even her submission to him in this way wasn’t enough to show him that she wasn’t going anywhere, and she closed her eyes tightly as he went on and on about leaving her on endor. but still she stayed silent, not offering up any sort of response as she only curled up tighter on the couch. however, the knock at the door jarred her, and her eyes shot open as she glanced over at it. it had barely been a few minutes, let alone an hour; could the doctor have been that early? unfortunately, the binders restricted the usage of her force powers, so she had no way of feeling out who it must be. his large figure was blocking her view of who it was, but the name that slipped from his mouth was enough to make her tense up immediately. the last time effie had come to visit, rey had physically attacked her. she hated her. but this time... this time she had to be smart. ben had only gotten mad when she’d gone after her, and that’s exactly what she was trying to avoid right now. she’d done enough of it for the night. while she could do an okay job of simply tuning her out, it was infinitely more difficult when she’d moved forward to give him a hug right off the bat. her jaw clenched firmly, and she fought back the urge to retrieve her lightsaber and cut effie’s hands off then and there. the only thing keeping her in her spot, barely moving an inch, was the clear discomfort radiating from ben. his arms made no move to embrace her back, and that helped ease rey’s mind somewhat. prisoner. of course she’d try to rub that in. the reason for her visit, though, had taken rey aback even more than the hug had. her record? people cared enough to write down the things she did? not wanting to give her the benefit of a shocked reaction, rey buried her face in the couch cushion, doing her best to make it appear like she was simply being miserable. if effie thought she wasn’t happy, then snoke would feel no need to have ben change anything, since this was his ultimate goal. she was a prisoner, and if they picked up at all on how much had changed since the last time she’d visited, things would not end well for the two of them. she could feel her gaze on her, and she was suddenly thankful she’d chosen to put the binders on herself as her attempt to ease his mind. it hadn’t worked in calming him, but at least it would pull through here. she wanted to kick the couch as she heard effie press him for lunch together, and she was entirely grateful that ben reciprocated no positive response to that. that’s my boy. she did glance up enough to see her touching his arm, and that fired rey up as much as the hug. those were her biceps to touch. no one else’s. but she barely managed to contain her anger enough until she finally left, the door closing behind her. rey let a minute or two pass before turning to face him again, remaining in her laid down position. she frowned at the file in his hands. surely there were multiple lies in there, made-up stories of how she’d gone against the first order. of course some were true, but she had no doubts that snoke and effie wanted to make her look as terrible as possible to ben so that he would only drift further from her.  but she knew him; it would not work, no matter what rey had done. still though... there was something unnerving about other people reading an entire log about your life. her curiosity piqued, as did her sorrow. it wasn’t likely he’d react well to her request, but she just had to try. “...can i read it first?” her voice was meek and quiet, but she knew he’d be able to pick up on it. a part of her really despised the way people had dug into her life for the sole purpose of trying to destroy her. still, though, she reminded herself of her desire to not make him upset with her anymore, and she sighed softly, pushing herself into an upright position. her hands fidgeted in the cuffs once more. “...ben, i’m sorry... i wasn’t handling it well being here again, and i... reacted poorly, i apologize... i do recognize everything you do for me and you know how appreciative i am...” she tilted her head slightly, willing him to meet her eyes at last, then added, “i still love you... i don’t despise you, not at all... i will always love you, no matter what...”

[ofscavenging]

darkminded-ren‌:

a pang of guilt hit him at her words, knowing they held some merit to them. he couldn’t allow her to waltz around the supremacy on her own of course, so there was no other option but to keep her here in his quarters, other than when he had the time to take her outside to train or…well, mostly to train. their trip to endor had been their first actual venture away from the walls of the supremacy. and while before he had hardly stopped to think much of what the future might hold, recently he was starting to consider the possibilities. still, her sudden appearance in front of him was clouding his logical thoughts, frowning down at her as she stood in front of the fridge now. kylo wasn’t sure he’d ever heard her speak in such a harsh tone to him, and it only seemed to fuel his own anger. however, his own reaction to her declaration surprised him. instead of growling or shouting or breaking something, a chuckle escaped him, which somehow grew into a full blown laugh. he couldn’t remember the last time he’d laughed like this - he didn’t find anything funny, but the whole thing was absolutely ridiculous. rey stating that she would destroy the first order - something he couldn’t even likely pull off on his own, not that he had any intentions of doing so. but he had already decided he had to get snoke out of the picture somehow, as having him alive and in power was becoming much too dangerous. still, kylo had no idea what would happen after that. would he take on the role of supreme leader? he figured so, but how would he rule? surely not the way snoke did. the first order would remain intact, but…would he change their policies? or would the officers turn against him? kylo’s laughter subsided as she stormed off, apparently towards the bedroom. taking a bite of the fruit before tossing it on the table, he followed behind her, still shaking his head and dragging his hands through his hair at the whole situation. another kick to the wall sent some books flying off the shelf, leaving a mess that he haphazardly stepped over before standing at the doorway. he watched her in silence for a moment as she unpacked, an incredulous gaze on his face. “you couldn’t if you tried,” he finally spoke, nothing more than a breathless whisper. “you think things would still be the way they were if it were that simple? it won’t happen, rey.” kylo surprised himself at his calm tone, though he knew that his rage was still bubbling beneath the surface. partially at her and the way she’d exploded with blunt honesty, partially at snoke for putting them both in this situation in the first place, partially at himself for not knowing what to do to make things any better. another uncharacteristic laugh escaped him as he crossed his arms over his chest and took a few steps forward, locking his gaze on her and shaking his head once again. “don’t be naive. you think that all of a sudden, you wanting to stay here and be with me and change me will make everything fine. i’ll join you and abandon my life’s work and let it fall to pieces and everything will work out just perfectly.” kylo was only a few feet away now and took a step closer, enough to back her up to the edge of the bed. still he had a disbelieving smirk on his face, unable to process whatever the fuck she could possibly be thinking. “guess what? you’re wrong. by staying here with me you’re risking your life and damn it, i’m doing what i can to keep you safe but i can’t fucking guarantee anything yet. i CAN’T!” his anger was starting to become more evident, his eyes widening and jaw clenching as he willed himself not to lay a hand on her in his frustration. he was furious at the fact that no matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t promise to save her from snoke. there was always the chance that he would fail, and they would both suffer for it. “i’m working on figuring out what to do but kriff, rey, you just gotta be fucking patient! if not, i-if you can’t do that, then i’ll…i’ll send you back to another planet. i’ll tell snoke you escaped and deal with the punishment. you can start a new happy life there and forget any of this happened and not have to deal with anything anymore.” the idea of following through with his words pained him immensely, but he would do so if she agreed. he wouldn’t force her to stay here like this anymore. his fists clenched and unclenched as he glared down at her, waiting anxiously for her to make a decision. “let me know and i’ll make the order.”

still rey did not turn to face him, instead zipping up the bag and placing it back in the closet where he had retrieved it from for her initially. but as she moved back to the bed to gather up her now unpacked undergarments, it seemed he was only moving closer, and she sighed before turning to face him. she knew what he was trying to do; he was making an attempt to intimidate her, to scare her off from ever even trying to hurt the first order. well it wouldn’t work. before his turn back to kylo, ben had mentioned a few times before of how he could potentially disengage himself from the regime. he hadn’t truly wanted to be a part of it, not anymore. he wanted to live with her, on naboo, and start a family together. they’d just been figuring out how to go about doing so when he’d turned. but he’d wanted it. therefore, rey held no fear for his reaction of shooting her down. she was going to destroy it. she knew that. he had to know too. even as he shouted at her, right in her face, rey held a stoic expression and just watched him, not even flinching. she was shocked that her crazed hormones had not yet bounced to fear and sorrow, as they so often did, but she enjoyed feeling strong through all his threats and intimidation. her gaze drifted down to his hands, which were clenched into angry, trembling fists. she knew what that meant: he’d had the same demeanor after she’d destroyed the computer, when they’d first arrived on the supremacy and she’d been craving his attention. then he’d punished her, physically. the memory of that got her to flinch slightly, but she looked up into his eyes again and let him continue speaking. her eyebrows furrowed incredulously at his idea, tilting her head. not only would he leave her somewhere, but he’d bring her to a random planet. not back to the resistance. how could he possibly think that would be any sort of solution? so badly she wanted to argue back, to pound her fists against his chest in her frustration. but she didn’t. mostly due to a small stirring she was beginning to feel in her stomach. not nausea, no, but just the presence of the baby. it was unhappy. she could just tell. so she said nothing. instead, she just paused for almost a whole minute before silently moving past him and back into the kitchen. she reappeared a moment later with the broom and dustpan then got to her hands and knees on the floor, wordlessly sweeping up the shards of the lamp he’d knocked to the ground. it wasn’t the first time she’d done it. once she’d gathered up all the pieces, utilizing the force to assist her, she stood up slowly again and centered herself before moving to dump the pieces in the trash. after replacing the broom and dustpan, rey returned to the bedroom where she’d left him without a word. then she once again got down on the ground and began gathering up the books that had fallen when he’d hit the wall. still she offered him nothing. silence. silence was all she gave. once the books were in her arms, rey rose to her feet carefully and began replacing them back on the shelf. still she acted as if he wasn’t even there. the last book was the biggest, and it belonged on the upper shelf. even just lifting it above her head caused her to wince in pain, her stomach stretching awkwardly. but still she tried, standing on her tiptoes now and craning her arm up in an attempt to get it there. a sharp pain shot through her side and she whimpered now, letting the book drop to the ground as her hands flew to it. surely it was just her weak muscles straining too much, but kriff, it hurt. as rey blinked, she felt hot tears brimming her eyes, and she struggled to find the reason for them. the pain? her argument with ben? her worry for the babies? either way, she took small gasps of breath and made her way out of the bedroom with a hunched over physique, unable to listen if he were to still speak harshly in that moment. luckily the pain was subsiding as she returned to a normal upright state, but her tears didn’t want to end, it seemed ( apparently her hormones had finally swung over to the saddened end ). she didn’t want him to be angry. it wasn’t what she wanted at all. in an attempt to calm him, rey shuffled into the kitchen and retrieved the binders out of the drawer, locking them instantly over her wrists and making her way back to the couch. she had no doubts this would be her bed for the next few days. rey laid down carefully on her side so her back was facing his direction, curling up into a small ball. her wrists shifted uncomfortably in the cuffs, but she just sniffed and closed her eyes, still staying quiet. he’d prefer this over her arguing, and it would lessen her anger. but it was also her answer to him regarding his last offer: she’d stay and she’d be obedient. for now, at least.

[ofscavenging]

darkminded-ren‌:

even as they exited the elevator and walked the short distance to his quarters, kylo kept his distance, both not wanting to appear suspicious and wanting to give her space to deal with being back here. he entered the code to open the doors then led rey inside, noticing as she immediately made a beeline for the kitchen. he wasn’t sure why at first, but then he watched what she was doing, and it made more sense. as she did so, kylo removed the leftover food from the ewoks from the container in his bag and moved it into the fridge for later. maybe even having their prepared breakfast for dinner would cheer her up a bit. seeing as she hadn’t touched her own bag since he’d set it down, he lifted both bags again and brought them into the bedroom after her, setting them down to be unpacked later on. it seemed neither of them had the energy or will to do so right now. as he was about to head over to his desk to boot up his work tablet, rey approached him, a slight surprise after how sour her mood had clearly been. but he nodded right away, already finding that idea more appealing than having to take her outside once again so soon after their return. it would be more private in the comfort of their chambers, and he’d be able to discuss more with the doctor without any chances of being watched, or so he hoped. “i shall arrange for that,” kylo replied, turning to his desk right away and reaching for the comm he’d set down just moments ago. it didn’t take long for him to arrange an appointment on an application, finding it almost more convenient than having to take her in at all. the first free appointment the doctor had was in an hour, and he selected it before setting the device back on his desk. when he turned around, rey had already departed the bedroom and moved back to the couch, where he assumed she wouldn’t be leaving for a while. not that there was much else for her to do at the moment which, admittedly, he felt guilty for. perhaps he’d order her some entertainment somehow, something to keep her mind off of her dread. but then she nearly barked at him, and kylo slowed his pace on his walk towards the kitchen, listening as she decided to go on. his guilt was still present, but it gradually transitioned into frustration, particularly at the tone she took with him and the way she spoke of false insinuations. his eyebrows furrowed and a frown formed on his lips, fists now clenched at his sides. of course he wanted to find out what was wrong with her. and he would, no matter how she acted. the curse word that fell from her lips only surprised him more, and while it wasn’t difficult for him to figure out how she learned it, it didn’t sound nice coming from her lips. “you’d better learn to watch your mouth, scavenger, or you could end up right back where you started here,” kylo snapped back, obviously annoyed with her behavior now. of course he didn’t mean it, he would never be able to treat her the way he had when she’d first arrived, but she had to learn her place and not to be so mouthy with him. he was the only person on this entire ship who wanted to help her, and he wouldn’t let her forget that. “i don’t like your kriffing attitude and if it continues, i can start reminding you what actual prisoners are treated like here.” kylo knew he was being harsh, but he didn’t care. his mood wasn’t the best right now either, and he was just about as pleased to be back here as she was. but they had unfinished business, and they both had to have known this. “for your information, the doctor will be here in an hour. so if i were you, i’d take a fucking bath and get changed before she gets here. maybe even eat something, or not. i don’t care what prisoners do, remember?” the last remark was said with a sneer before he stormed back into the kitchen, knocking over a small table lamp as he did so. the loud noise that followed hardly phased him, instead opening up the fridge to grab a shuura fruit. the stressful morning had resulted in neither of them eating at all, which might have only added to their negative moods.

rey had been careful in choosing her words; she really didn’t harbor any ill will towards him, even if he was the direct one treating her like a genuine prisoner. it wasn’t his doing. it was snoke’s. effie’s. everyone else around them. they were both just pawns. but still... he truly did enjoy the power it gave him to have all those men look up to him, even if it came at her cost. which was why she allowed herself to be a little bit snippy. however, it seemed he had taken it to heart right off the bat, since his attitude turned down instantly as well. first by addressing her as ‘scavenger’; the term came to be derogatory towards her on the supremacy, and ben had banned it being said by anyone on the ship before his turn back to the dark. obviously this ben wouldn’t remember that, but it pained rey easily. along with the threat he gave. she knitted her eyebrows together. would he really do that? there was no way. rey felt the hurt from his words, but her hormones refused to let her anger subside. at least for now. she shoved herself up to her feet and clenched her fists at her sides, frowning deeply. “no,” she snapped at his instructions to bathe and eat. the sight of him knocking the lamp to the ground and shattering it was a familiar one, but it didn’t make her any more content. “no, i know you don’t care what prisoners do. i sit in here and do nothing all day and you act like everything’s fine. it’s NOT fine, ben.” she followed him into the kitchen, slamming the door of the refrigerator as soon as he’d grabbed the fruit. then she stood in front of it, glaring up at him. “i know it wasn’t your choice to come back here. believe me. but i can’t take it anymore. i don’t want to be your prisoner, i don’t care what they think of me or you or whatever else. you want the truth?” she raised an eyebrow and stepped closer. surely what she had to tell him wasn’t going to go well in any way, but she just had to let him know. “i will destroy your first order. i don’t know how, i don’t know when, but nothing will stop me from doing it. you will return to the resistance and be on the light and the first order will crumble. that’s the way things will be. so i’m not getting too comfortable. and neither should you.” rey shoved him to the side so she could storm past at once, knowing his anger was surely bubbling inside him. she’d never said anything like that to him before. not directly. she’d tried multiple times to pull him away from the first order, but she’d never spoke of her desire to utterly eliminate it. but now he knew. and there wasn’t a chance it would turn out anything but bad. she moved to the bedroom and pushed the door open roughly, storming to her closet and beginning to unpack her clothes from the bag she’d taken to endor. no, she hadn’t wanted to do the work, but she needed to busy her hands and mind with something while he was beginning to react to her threats. “go ahead,” she shouted out to him, not turning away from the closet where she was messily hanging up the clothes she hadn’t worn. “go ahead and take me back to the interrogation bench. lock me up there, starve me, i don’t care what you do. but i know that you do care. it’s the reason that i’m still here, the reason we went to endor at all. you know that you want to be with me and be happy, but you can’t get over your fucking need for power. for the dark side.” she paused in her unpacking, clutching on so tightly to a pair of her new underwear that it nearly ripped a seam, then continued shouting to him with her back still turned towards the door. “so i’m still here. get used to it, ben. i’ll stay as long as i need to until the first order is gone and you can finally admit to yourself that it was also what you wanted all along.” would he actually take action? had she finally pushed him far enough to where he’d genuinely start treating her harshly again? or was this just another argument stemmed from her hormones and their hunger and their frustration of the circumstances around them? either way, it was exhausting, and rey had to pause again in her actions, placing a hand on her lower back and breathing steadily. the simplest things exhausted her nowadays, and she hated it. clearly the baby wasn’t loving all the fighting.

[ofscavenging]

darkminded-ren‌:

kylo had genuinely hoped that his offer to show her a bit more of the galaxy before heading back would be well received, but clearly he’d been mistaken. her snappy response proved that, and as hard as he tried to hide the disappointment on his face, it was now evident. but he wouldn’t be forceful with her. if she would rather just leave, then he supposed they could do just that. an exasperated sigh left his lips as he turned back to the controls, finally driving the ship higher up into the atmosphere, preparing to make the direct jump to lightspeed that would take them close enough to the supremacy. but before kylo could answer her sudden question, rey was perched in his lap upright, hands reaching for the controls. a part of him panicked immediately, his arms coming around her to be able to guide her if necessary, but her statement and promising smile somehow assured him that she actually did know what she was doing. so he decided to put his trust in her, nodding slowly just before she went ahead and made the jump to lightspeed. the sudden force threw them back a bit, her back now pressed to his chest as the ship flew through space, the view being one that surely she seemed to enjoy as he noticed her smile get bigger. it caused a small one of his own, feeling both proud of her and relieved that she no longer seemed to be moping about their return. moments later they slowed immediately and both of them were jerked forward in their seat as the stars came into view again, as well as the supremacy clear in the distance. kylo was about to move to take back the controls, as surely it wouldn’t be well received by the officers and stormtroopers if rey was piloting the ship when they arrived, but her words confused him. “rey, wh - “ he began, but then suddenly she was pulling the lever and flicking switches once again, and soon enough they were spiraling in different directions, up and down, left and right. his hands gripped the arm rests and his eyes widened as she steered, her laugh the only sound audible over the engine of the tie fighter. finally she leveled them out once again and kylo let out a breath, shaking his head, though a small smirk formed on his lips. “you’re something else, you know that?” he remarked, glancing down at her as she leaned against him and handed back the controls. a soft chuckle escaped him as he guided the ship towards the supremacy, slowly feeling the mood dwindle as they approached it. truthfully, he wasn’t too thrilled about returning either after the wonderful time they’d had, but there was still business to be taken care of here. so for now, he would deal with it. kylo landed the tie fighter in the hangar bay, rolling his eyes immediately at the sight of hux. he knew it was protocol, but it didn’t mean he tolerated the man any more than necessary. with rey still in his lap, he panicked momentarily before remembering that the windows were tinted and he could not be seen by the others. still, he carefully lifted her up and helped her to her feet, reaching for the bags and slinging them over his shoulder before glancing over at her once more. “i’m…sorry to have to be distant right now, but they can’t know about…anything. not right now. it would only make things worse.” kylo hoped she would understand, but regardless, he released the hatch and lowered the ramp, his hand reaching to grip her arm as he led her off the ship. he wasn’t rough with her, but he certainly wasn’t as gentle as he had been, having to act as if she were still his prisoner. “general hux. troopers. officers.” he greeted them all with a bored nod, as if he had no idea why they were making such a big deal of his return. “i presume the training mission was successful?” hux asked with a sneer, his tone sarcastic and demeaning at the same time. kylo simply glared back at him, his eyes squinting slightly as if this interaction were a waste of his time, which, in truth, it was. “indeed it was. now if you don’t mind, i’m going to lead the prisoner back to my chambers to rest. while it was successful, her training is not yet complete.” this comment somehow elicited some murmurs from the officers and stormtroopers, and kylo even heard one trooper mumble, “oh, he’s gonna train her all right, real good.” without thinking to control his temper, kylo’s free hand shot out, immediately force-choking the stormtrooper. the others all erupted into gasps and remarks until he finally let go, releasing the coughing stormtrooper to fall to the ground. “if you’re all smart enough, you will not question my process or make obscene insinuations.” that shut everyone up immediately, even hux, whose eyes were now lowered to the ground in avoidance and perhaps even nervousness. without another word, kylo tugged rey’s arm and continued their walk, leading her out of the hangar bay and towards the elevator that led to his quarters. once they were inside, he released her arm, though kept his glance straight ahead. there were still cameras in these lifts, and though it was safer here, he still had to be cautious. “i’m sorry,” he managed to mumble, though it was nearly inaudible as the elevator whirred to life, taking them upwards.

before rey could snap herself out of her thoughts, ben had, once again, lifted her off his lap and to her feet, causing her to sigh defeatedly. she barely managed to gather her flower in her hands before he was already lowering the ramp, their bags over his shoulders. distant? he would have to treat her like a prisoner? even still? she furrowed her eyebrows in frustration but stared down at the ground without a word as he led her out, allowing this to happen just for now. she was sure she looked the part of a hopeless prisoner; she barely had to act anymore. it was getting exhausting just having to be here. but she had to. for the resistance. and, more importantly, for ben. for the baby. that was the only thought keeping her emotions anchored now, or else she would’ve yanked her arm out of his grip and punched hux in the face as soon as they landed. she didn’t care when hux tried to tell them off, and continued keeping her eyes down as ben responded. the prisoner. kriff, she hated being addressed as that. but still, somehow, she managed to keep her cool. just barely. the comment from the stormtrooper, however, easily set them both off, both she and kylo swiveling around in perfect synchronization. before rey could do anything, though, he was taking a step forward and using the force to choke the stormtrooper. usually she would try to deter him from using such dark force abilities, but there were multiple reasons as to why that was not a good idea right then. also she didn’t blame him for reacting that way to such a ridiculous comment. before he could injure him too much, though, rey nonchalantly reached out to find his emotions through the force, willing them to simmer down to a calmer state. evidently it worked, since the man was released. one final word from ben and that was it; no one would dare test a force user. the tug at her arm caused her to growl up at him, but he didn’t even seem to notice. the officers closest to her had, though, as their hands came up to rest over their blasters. rey put on a stoic expression once again, not allowing any conflict to ensue, and walked with him all the way to the elevator, her flower still gently caressed in her small hands. once in the elevator, with the doors closed, rey tugged her arm away until he released her, then scooted to the corner to rest against the space where the two walls met. barely a minute back on this damned ship and he was already treating her like a slave again. she knew deep down that he didn’t truly want to, but that he just had no other choice. otherwise he would be in trouble with snoke. his apology was brief but it carried a lot of weight behind it. she didn’t want to truly be angry, but her hormones may have had other plans for her. so she just sighed and remained silent until the elevator opened up and they were entering his quarters. it’d been cleaned since their last time in it, but hadn’t changed otherwise. without hesitation, rey moved to the kitchen to grab one of the cups, filling it with water from the sink. then she put the flower in immediately. it wouldn’t last long; it needed soil and light and nutrients. but maybe it could at least make it through the night. she brought the cup into the bedroom and put it on the dresser. surrounded by the darkness of the furniture and the walls, it only reminded rey more of herself than ever before. a light in the darkness. she met up with him again, still clearly upset at how he’d had to treat her. but she spoke up at last. “can we just have the doctor come here? i just want to get it over with,” she mumbled. she wasn’t sure if that was technically an option, or if he’d even let her, since he seemed so desperate to know what her illness exactly was. for now, she left her bag abandoned on the floor, not moving to unpack anytime soon. it appeared that a droid had organized her new clothes into the wardrobe beside ben’s, so maybe it could eventually take care of this too; she couldn’t find the will in her to care enough to do it herself. rey shuffled to the couch and laid down on her back on it, her energy on endor already having left. “is she coming?” she asked, more firm than probably necessary. hormones, yet again. along with her returned and dreaded living situation. “she’s taking forever. if she doesn’t come soon, then i’m not letting her see me because i want to take a nap. you’ll just have to deal with not knowing what’s wrong with me, but you’ll get over it. you can’t have feelings for a prisoner, right?” she snarled sarcastically, finding it harder to hold back her true feelings now. “maker forbid they find out you have a heart. but that’s all that matters to you, doesn’t it? the power they give you. well i hope it’s fucking worth it.” rey never cussed. she also never spoke back to him. both were things ben disapproved of heavily. it was clear to see that being back on the supremacy would only prove to be harder on her, but also that her emotions were potentially being affected by something internal as well. the baby. not that he would find out. but surely he’d notice the symptom. “this is so fucking irritating...”