THE RETURN OF OHANA
Holy shit this blog is dusty. *Aggressively coughs*
HELLO MY CHILDREN. Yes, the day we have all secretly been praying for has FINALLY happened. OHANA IS BACK BABY. For a few days? A few more hours? For all of eternity? Who knows?
HELLO I'M YOUR HOST SAM EVANS BRINGING YOU THE GOOD NEWS. It's 1:38 here in Australia on this boiling hot night and I'm currently trying to get my left hand out of a tube of pringles and type with the other while I watch Aladdin on my television screen. Folks, I'm living the life.
ROLL UP ROLL UP WE HAVE FRESH MEAT
AND WE ALL KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS. I think we should do an initiation yep ok Sammy. Let's give him 30 punches or something I don't know it'll be funny
THAT'S RIGHT. I personally don't know HOW or WHY or even if we were recruiting but we HAVE SOMEBODY NEW AND THAT PERSON IS RYDER LYNNNNNNNNN (Kind of like Flynn Ryder but not as hot) annnnnd he's bachelor number one. With my excellent love making skills (wink wink nudge nudge) I'm feeling a couple COMING UP. RACHEL AND RYDER? OR PERHAPS LAUREN AND RYDER? IS THERE ALREADY A LOVE TRIANGLE OH MY SWEET JESUS MY PRIVATES ARE TINGLING.
HERE'S AN EXCLUSIVE INTERVIEW WITH THE FRESH MEAT HIMSELF:
What’s it like being new to Ohana?
Its pretty awesome, i mean other than how justifiably insane everyone is. But then again that means that I just blend right in.
Who’s the hottest?
Me clearly, tied only with Sam Evans. **
Paper or Plastic?
Paper condoms would hurt
**NOTE: Subject may or may not have been paid for this answer.
ALSO THE GOVERNMENT IS SHUT DOWN APPARENTLY.
I'm not sure I wouldn't know I live in Australia and we just chill so YEAH.
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PRINGLES
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