ash on the land.

ｓｕｍｍｅｒ ｃａｍｅ ｄｏｗｎ ｗｉｔｈ ｏｈｉｏ ｆｅｖｅｒ. [ Indie Immortal Vagabond. ] follows from Sexblaze

[ask-meme-addicts]

“Repo! The Genetic Opera” sentence meme

❝ Didn’t I say the world was cruel? ❞

❝ Let your life be a dream. ❞

❝ You can never trust a monster. ❞

❝ Blood is cheap. ❞

❝ In you is a world of promise. ❞

❝ I can’t feel nothing at all. ❞

❝ Tell me, why do you hide your pretty face? ❞ 

❝ All you have to do is pull the trigger. ❞

❝ Pray he never comes knocking at your door. ❞

❝ Why are my genetics such a bitch? ❞

❝ I’m the monster, I’m the villain. ❞

❝ It’s my job to steal and rob. ❞ ❝ Daddy’s girl’s a fucking monster! ❞

❝ You could have died! You… you scared me to death! ❞

❝ It’s a thankless job, but somebody’s got to do it. ❞

❝ You break my friggin’ heart. ❞

❝ I am not a murderer. ❞

❝ What is this? You disgust me. ❞

❝ I am only living out a lie! ❞

❝ “Accidents” don’t end in murder. ❞

❝ She needs a little help with the agony. ❞

❝ Would you change who you are, if you could? ❞

❝ Commence your groveling! ❞

❝ I thought I’d seen a ghost. ❞

❝ It’s too painful. ❞

❝ Sometimes I wonder why they need me at all. ❞

❝ Remember who you are. ❞

❝ How self-absorbed people can be! ❞

❝ No one is around who might rescue you. ❞

❝ You missed your medicine. ❞

❝ I’m the smartest and the toughest. ❞

❝ Sorry to be so theatrical. ❞

❝ I’m infected. ❞

❝ Sometimes I wonder why we all don’t move on! ❞

❝ You want the world for nothing. ❞

❝ No one wants a thankless job. ❞

❝ Someone’s gonna hang if i don’t get my coffee! ❞

❝ Your designer heart still beats with common blood. ❞

❝ I guess I’ll take it to my death! ❞

❝ Look what I’ve become. ❞

❝ What’s this? Rat piss? ❞

❝ All these years have come and gone. ❞

❝ You never were a man of many words. ❞

❝ Why relive that moment? ❞

❝ Oh, I have hated and loved you. ❞

❝ I’m afraid… I’m afraid it’s terminal. ❞

❝ You’re not men, you’re creatures. I’m embarrassed by you. ❞

❝ There are things in life that we do best to leave alone. ❞

❝ I’m sweeter than sixteen! ❞

❝ We have both been kept in bondage. ❞

❝ I’ve always longed for true affection, but you compared me to a corpse. ❞

❝ This is your fault! I asked you to help me. ❞

❝ It’s gonna be a bloodbath. ❞

❝ Didn’t you say you were infected? ❞

❝ I don’t think that I can be fixed. ❞

❝ You never should have left me. I would have given you the world. ❞

❝ It’s nice to see young talent blooming. ❞

❝ I will shoot you in the face! ❞

❝ A sheltered rose needs a little room to bloom. ❞

❝ Stay with the dead. I’m joining the living. ❞

❝ You’re gonna be alright now, that’s all that matters. ❞

❝ I can go out with a bang! ❞

❝ How much of it’s genetics? How much of it is fate? ❞

❝ These eyes can do more than see. ❞

❝ I will not be betrayed. ❞

❝ You gonna start applauding? ❞

❝ Happiness is not a warm scalpel. ❞

❝ Now I can drink whatever I want! ❞

❝ It’s all part of the show. ❞

❝ You’re no better than they are! ❞

❝ I’ve made my peace. ❞

❝ You could learn from all my failures. ❞

❝ I’d be lost if I were to lose you, I will stop at nothing to keep you safe. ❞

❝ Didn’t you say that you’d protect me? ❞

❝ I hate you. Go and die. ❞

❝ I look like a crime scene. ❞

❝ Thanks for the disease! ❞

❝ A tale befitting any opera. ❞

❝ Nothing ever lasts in this world. ❞

❝ You’ve got to fight through it. ❞

❝ I will find a hole and fuck it! ❞

❝ I’m not supposed to talk to strangers. ❞

❝ Gold, it makes the world go round. ❞

❝ Let the monster rise! ❞

❝ It’s too late for me. ❞

❝ I’m the cause of all your sickness. ❞

❝ I’m dying, you idiots. ❞

❝ Sometimes I wanted to cry when the people on TV were not quite the way we were. ❞

❝ I didn’t know i’d love you so much, but I do. ❞

[help-from-above]

. 🔥 . continued from here | @ohiofever

Quietly rasping for breath in the dumpster, it briefly crosses Ray’s mind how easy it would have been to ditch Ryan. It’s taken him to an awful situation to get to that point, reeking of trash and pretty sure he’s got one of his hands in something wet. Ray’s own wounds are superficial; a bullet that’s grazed the bone of his cheek and left a little blood on his face, some scrapes on his hands and elbows from getting knocked back at least once. The sniper looks over at Ryan, unable to see him, straining his eyes in the darkness so see where he’s hurt. Ray could have abandoned Ryan to die - well, not really. There’s a caveat to this whole thing, to every experience in their lives. Ryan is immortal. Ray is not.

The footsteps have Ray flinching a little, a hand coming up and covering his own mouth. His breathing comes in silent and shaky through his nose, his shoulders rattling as he forces himself to be quiet. The steps are slow and steady in the alley, but fortune smiles upon the R'n'R Connection for once as they begin to fade. Ray waits until they’re gone before dropping his hand, sighing in marginal relief. “Christ,” Ray murmurs. He shifts a little his hand landing on Ryan’s knee. The sniper looks over, his vision finally starting to clear up. Through the weak shafts of city light in chinks in the dumpster, Ray can just barely make Ryan out. The guy looks like shit, for lack of a better way to put it. His paint is all messed up, his hair is ragged, and he looks like he’s about to puke.

“Don’t die on me, man,” Ray says, drawing closer. “Or like, pass out or whatever. I’ll leave your body here.” The sniper rolls his eyes, a smirk playing on the corners of his mouth. He doesn’t know how Ryan’s immortality works. The guy gets ripped to shreds and just gets up again. The first time Ray saw it, it scared the shit out of him. Now it’s just annoying to wait for Ryan to wake up after being killed. “Lemme’ see it.” Ray’s reaching to Ryan before permission is granted. He touches over Ryan’s abdomen, gentle fingers feeling the blood instantly. Ray shifts, grabbing his cellphone from his pocket and turning on the flashlight. It’s a risky move, but Ray’s listening for footsteps this time. He keeps the light angled down, examining Ryan’s injury, lifting up his jacket. It’s absolutely not pretty and they’ll definitely have to get him stitched up, but it won’t kill him. Maybe.

Ryan has an hour at best. Ray’s not sure if they have that long. For now, Ray shifts, awkwardly taking off his purple hoodie from his seated position. He helps himself into Ryan’s jacket again, though this time, he’s stealing a knife, knowing right where to find one on Ryan’s person. His hoodie is cut to pieces - something Ray is quietly sad about - before he lines the wound with them. At the very least, he’s slowing the bleeding process, hugging around Ryan and tying some of the fabric in a strip to hold it all together. It’s a hack job, but it’s taut and shouldn’t fall off.

[ohiofever]

     ryan would say that the crunch of gravel fading into the distance brought a wave of relief , but it was at best a fleeting moment of stillness . consciousness had already become hyperfocused -- the edges of a panic attack , had he lacked the years of experience -- aware of every drip of blood from his side, every heartbeat. it sucked.

     every breath found itself more and more steady, though . running like that had taken a lot out of him , and it burned to breathe so evenly , but ray couldn't exactly afford to get caught cornered like this . ryan would survive it ; ray might not .

❝ I know you will. ❞

     there's a drip of annoyance in the gravel of his voice , perhaps more directed at the wound than the lad gearing to invade his personal space . though.. ryan's more than happy to let it extend to him as those small hands prod at his side . ray's immensely lucky that ryan likes him .

❝ It's just a scratch, ❞ he insists ( rather unconvincingly ) as the sniper tears through his own jacket , hardly acknowledging the almost-pickpocket . ..shortly following, a sigh . he’d have to remind himself to leave ray a new jacket at some point.

     there's not time to dwell -- a soft hiss escapes the vagabond's lips as pressure is applied to his side. if he was aware of the wound before, now it's everything . clean wounds were easy enough to ignore , but this one was ragged , induced by shrapnel rather than blade or bullet . the most painful deaths were definitely the messy ones .

❝ You gonna run? ❞

     it's easier than insisting that he go . if ray didn't want to , he'd bitch about it , and ryan didn't exactly have all the energy in the world to argue with at the moment .

[389]

Anna Sian

[dovahbutt]

a commission i did recently for @redvsvblue of the fake ah boys trevor, alfredo, ryan and jeremy!

[ohiofever]

@criminalintcnt // closed

❝ i thought you of all people would understand -- there’s no fun in playing it safe. ❞

       the Vᴀɢᴀʙᴏɴᴅ quirks a brow faintly , the action exaggerated by the paint across his face . it's not often that a request of his is turned down by the boss . ( it's not often that requests are made . ) though , fair , perhaps he had a point . did they really need another dangerous weapon for a certain group of Lᴀᴅs to get their dirty little paws on?

[ohiofever]

@gcldenfool // closed

❝ That’s you! That’s how dumb you sound. ❞

       the words are tossed at the Gᴏʟᴅᴇɴ lad playfully, voice lilting up in his amusement . it was a slow day - throwing around almost-plans for future heists . though .. gavin had .. less than conventional approaches to things ( as was common knowledge ) .

[ohiofever]

 ❝ all i want is to be sσft and gєntlє , but i’m made out of ｓｔｅｅｌand ａｎｇｅｒ .  maybe in ᴀɴᴏᴛʜᴇʀ ʟɪғᴇ , i guess . ❞

     there’s a bitter irony lurking in his words ; another life couldn’t begin if this one never ended .

[spctlessminds]

based on this suggestions blog.  warning:  these are pretty dark/angry  &  could be triggering to some people.  please be cautious before proceeding!!

‘  all i want in my life is for my friends to be able to touch me suddenly  &  me to not flinch away without meaning to.  when will this stop affecting me?  ’ ‘  all i want is to be soft  &  gentle,  but i’m made out of steel  &  anger.  maybe in another life,  i guess.  ’ ‘  beauty is in the eye of the beholder,  so choose to see beauty in everything.  ’ ‘  burning it all to the ground  &  force them to start again.  they made you lose everything.  now return the favor.  ’ ‘  do i ever even cross your mind or do i do all the thinking of us on my own?  ’ ‘  do you trust me enough?  do you trust me at all?  ’ ‘  don’t you dare abandon me.  ’ ‘  even after all you have done,  i will always want you fighting on my side.  ’ ‘  every time i see you smile i fall in love with your brightness all over again.  ’ ‘  everyone i have ever loved is long gone.  i sing to the sky alone.  ’ ‘  everyone i touch gets hurt,  but i can’t stop.  i touch  &  i touch  &  i touch  &  people get hurt.  why can’t i ever stop?  ’ ‘  everyone says i used to be a hero,  but i can still taste the blood in my mouth  &  still feel bruises blooming because of my fists  &  my eyes are still stretched wide  &  terrified.  ’ ‘  everything i love has been taken from me.  what do i have left to fight for?  ’ ‘  fall in love with someone that makes you feel strong.  ’ ‘  friends are more important than any material object will ever be.  ’ ‘  i am aching to hold you  &  keep you safe,  to be pressed against you so that nothing can harm you.  ’ ‘  i am divine  &  you will bow before me.  ’ ‘  i am fucking divine.  ’ ‘  i am in control  &  i listen to no one.  ’ ‘  i am not a good person.  don’t pretend i am.  ’ ‘  i am not accustomed to love.  this is a learning experience.  ’ ‘  i am not worth saving  &  i am not worth redemption.  let me stay in the dark.  ’ ‘  i am so tired all the time,  all i want to do is rest.  ’ ‘  i am too tired to deal with any of this.  ’ ‘  i bow to no man.  ’ ‘  i broke into sharp pieces when i broke  &  i expect someone else to hurt their hands on my edges just to put me back together.  i’m sorry.  ’ ‘  i can give you your wings back  &  i can show you to fly once more,  if you only believe in me.  ’ ‘  i cannot be saved.  ’ ‘  i can’t ask for help because if i ask for help it hurts people.  i can bear this weight on my own.  i have to.  ’ ‘  i could taste the lies in your mouth every time i kissed you,  but i loved you too much to notice.  ’ ‘  i crave affection in the simplest way.  ’ ‘  i deserve to hurt.  i deserve to bleed.  ’ ‘  i didn’t ask for any of this so don’t you dare blame this on me.  ’ ‘  i don’t care if you say my name like it’s poison or like it’s a prayer,  as long as it leaves your lips.  ’ ‘  i don’t fight for you anymore.  ’ ‘  i don’t want to let go of you.  not now,  not ever.  ’ ‘  i don’t want to talk about it.  i don’t want to remember.  i don’t want to heal.  all i want is for it to go away.  ’ ‘  i don’t want you to touch me.  please don’t touch me,  just go away.  ’ ‘  i feel anger deeper than my bones.  i feel anger in my very soul.  ’ ‘  i feel nothing at all,  except for when i feel everything all at once.  ’ ‘  i have fallen  &  though i may miss the sky,  i belong here now.  ’ ‘  i have fallen from a height your mind cannot even imagine.  ’ ‘  i have no home anymore.  ’ ‘  i remember collapsing in the flames with a sword in my hand  &  then i remember nothing.  ’ ‘  i see beauty in everything,  but especially in you.  ’ ‘  i should never have fallen in love with you.  ’ ‘  i thought for a long time that i was so terrible no one would look at me.  now i know it’s because i shine so bright they are forced to look away.  ’ ‘  i was so caught up in the feeling that i forgot how to breathe.  ’ ‘  i will never amount to anything.  i am a failure in the worst type of way.  ’ ‘  i will tell myself that the burn of my loneliness in my chest completes me  &  maybe someday it will be true.  ’ ‘  if that’s what a hero is i’m glad i’m not one anymore.  ’ ‘  if you ask me to,  i will set the whole world on fire,  my dear.  it’s all for you.  ’ ‘  is it my fault?  it’s my fault.  it’s always my fault.  ’ ‘  it’s not murder if they deserved it,  right?  ’ ‘  i’m drowning in emotions that don’t belong to me,  choking on anger  &  suffocating on sadness.  ’ ‘  i’m in love with everything that hurts me.  ’ ‘  i’m okay.  i’m alright.  this is all in my mind.  ’ ‘  i’m ready to give up everything i’ve ever had if it means someone will love me.  ’ ‘  i’m so cold  &  i can’t stop shaking.  i am not who you think i am.  ’ ‘  i’m so tired all the time  &  i just want to be awake again.  ’ ‘  i’m tired of fighting against the pain of being forgotten.  i just want someone to remember me.  ’ ‘  i’m tired of fighting everything in my life.  just make it stop.  ’ ‘  i’m too tired to care.  blow up,  get angry at me.  i’m sure someday i’ll realize i deserved it.  ’ ‘  jealousy burns within me.  ’ ‘  just let me go in peace for once in my damn life.  ’ ‘  loneliness is a disease  &  it leaves me empty  &  hollow,  like sound goes through my body  &  bounces back.  ’ ‘  made of starlight  &  sunshine,  i shine brighter than they all know.  ’ ‘  my anger is righteous  &  my actions are pure.  ’ ‘  my chest aches  &  my lungs burn.  this sickness comes from the inside.  ’ ‘  my chest hurts  &  all i need is some comfort  &  understanding.  ’ ‘  my chest hurts  &  i ache to go back to the sky.  ’ ‘  my shoulders are aching where wings used to be  &  all i want is for them to stop hurting.  ’ ‘  pull me apart  &  piece me together in your own way.  make me perfect.  ’ ‘  righteous fury throws through my veins  &  if you touch the people i love i will destroy you.  ’ ‘  rise up.  you can’t keep being small when you were made for so much more.  ’ ‘  say my name like it’s the only one that’s ever been on your tongue.  ’ ‘  so much blood has been spilled in my name.  time to make you believe it was in yours.  ’ ‘  so you’ll worry about me when i fall silent,  but not when i scream  &  plead for help?  fuck off.  ’ ‘  sometimes people have to get hurt for me to get what i want.  ’ ‘  stay away from my fucking friends.  stay the fuck away or so help me i will destroy you.  ’ ‘  stop treating me like i’m an idiot.  you aren’t better than me in any way  &  you better remember that.  ’ ‘  the bitter taste of regret is ever present on my tongue.  ’ ‘  the world is spinning far too fast for me to stay on it.  ’ ‘  to love them is my divine right.  ’ ‘  voices whisper from the shadows  &  they fill my mind with thoughts of you.  ’ ‘  what did i to wrong to be so unloved?  ’ ‘  what is the point of power if i’m not supposed to use it?  ’ ‘  who the fuck do you think you are?  ’ ‘  why can’t i ever fucking stop crying?  ’ ‘  with a new year comes new tests  &  triumphs.  let’s try to make the most out of it.  ’ ‘  would it really kill you to be honest for once?  ’ ‘  yes,  i remember my wings breaking  &  being destroyed.  i was powerless to stop it.  ’ ‘  you are not required to love your parents,  or to even like them.  ’ ‘  you can’t hate me more than i hate myself,  but you are more than welcome to try.  ’ ‘  you may say you love me,  but you love only a part of me.  i am too complex for you to ever love my entire being.  ’ ‘  you never fucking cared about me.  don’t fucking lie about it.  not to me.  ’ ‘  you remind me of mint.  fresh,  sharp,  kind of cold,  but in a nice way.  i always knew there was a reason mint was my favorite.  ’ ‘  you shine light in even the darkest parts of me.  you are my sun.  ’ ‘  you should fear me,  but you don’t.  i will be eternally puzzled,  yet grateful.  ’ ‘  you touch me  &  my skin burns  &  it burns for you,  always you.  ’

[help-from-above]

“ i’m fine, i can walk, just give me a minute ” // ohiofever

They’ve been running in what seems like a nonstop sprint for at least five minutes now. Normally Ray wouldn’t be able to last that long, but an intoxicating mixture of terror and thrill has sent them scurrying like rats. Behind them, the gas station, still an inferno twisting into the midnight sky. The rest of the crew has bailed as well, promising into the communicators to text when they were safe. Ray and Ryan aren’t out of the fire quite yet.

“Dude-” Ray’s skidding to a stop in the alley, panting and looking over his shoulder. He knows Ryan’s been hit, though not to what degree. He thought they’d be able to keep running but Ryan is hurting, doubling over in the darkness of the thin crossroad. Ray’s got a few options; he could give Ryan some cover, send the gent off to catch his breath while he watches for cops. Ray could pull Ryan down into what looks like an empty, tipped-over dumpster and wait it out with him. Ray could bail, but that thought doesn’t cross his mind.

He chooses door number two. Ray can’t risk Ryan never being able to swallow the pain and he’s certainly not about to abandon the poor man. Jogging back, Ray lifts the door of the dumpster, silently thankful that it is, in fact, empty.“C'mon, c'mon, I’m so sorry dude, I know this is gross-” Ray’s been in nastier places, and it’s likely that Ryan has as well, but they don’t have a choice. There’s no doors in the alley, nothing they can break down to hide in a building. The toppled dumpster is their only option. Once they’re both inside, Ray lets the door fall shut, bathing them in complete darkness.“Fuck,” Ray pants. His head thunks into the wall, his eyes shutting. Time to wait it out.

[ohiofever]

       watching everything burn was by far the single most exhilarating part of ryan’s near-grey existence. from massive empires to tiny gas stations to everything in-between – one day, it’d all return to the dust from whence it came. perhaps even at the vagabond’s hands.

      unfortunately, though, stopping to admire the destruction? not entirely without its dangers. while technically immortal, the flesh surrounding the vagabond’s bones was not.

      red. deep, dark red.

      the color blossomed through his body as a stray piece of metal tore through his side (damn, another patch to be sewn in his jacket). it’d be fine, though – it wasn’t deep, from what he could feel. the sensation of color was stronger than any actual feeling.

      at some point, they had started running, and the gash was put out of his mind. long-forgotten. the only thing that existed was the pounding of shoes on pavement, then gravel. the purple form in front of him. the lack of air burning his lungs in a way that was almost thrilling as it was annoying. almost.

      the almost-thrill wasn’t meant to last, though. in fact, it ended itself wuite suddenly by means of a rather small piece of debris catching the bottom of the vagabond’s shoe, pulling his ankle just so. through clenched teeth, a hiss was heard above the skid of gravel and the soft pop of a sprain.

      well. fuck.

      of all the things to take down a fabled criminal, a sprained ankle was.. more than lackluster. pathetic, even.

❝ It’s fine - I can walk. Give me a minute. ❞

      as though they had that long to spare. ryan was fucked and he knew it. wouldn’t have judged if ray had kept running to save his own skin. the vagabond could hold his own, even downed, but covering the both of them close range might have been a stretch.

      it’s – well. perhaps not all that surprising when ray finds another way out of this for them both. albeit a gross one, but a way out nonetheless. whatever, whatever. the sound of footsteps isn’t far behind them and there isn’t exactly another option.

      the faint nausea hits almost instantly; city dumpsters aren’t the most pleasant things, even in disuse. it could be worse, though. he could be in here with gavin. jesus, he’d never hear the end of this if that was the case.

      it’s when the footsteps pass by that ryan can feel the dizziness setting in.

      right. injury. blood loss. those are things.

[ohiofever]

[ x ] @gcldenfool​

Gavin stared at Ryan, huffing at the answer he was given. Not that he expected anything less, but he was more than annoyed.

“Would be fair if we could actually die, not suffer together.”

❝ ..Sure. ❞

     the venom is clear in his voice, though the words in his head remain unspoken. nothing would make this fair anymore. it would be fair if he could go back and change things. it would be fair if he had stayed dead as he was. nothing would make up for the extra years he had to endure. not even death.

[lyricalmusingstuff-moved]

I don’t give a  ＤＡＭＮ  ╾

              ╼  I don’t play your rules I make my ＯＷＮ

[wolfteacreations]

[pestilentielle]

[ohiofever]

[ohiofever]

[ . . .]

He followed after him into and kitchen, and the scent of coffee caused him to hum. He went about grabbing a cup and pouring some, adding a bit of milk and sugar to it to cut the bitterness. After taking a few sips, he set about getting things out to start cooking.

“Anything in particular you want on the side? Don’t hold back on requests. I’m sure I could make whatever it is you want.”

❝ Mm. ❞

     a soft hum is given in reply as ryan settles himself at the table. mornings are for coffee and contemplation, and today’s no exception, even with jeremy here. they’re for pretending he functions the same as everyone else, and for getting himself back in that mindset.

❝ Surprise me? ❞

     it’s more a question than it is a statement. putting brainpower into this isn’t exactly something he’s equipped for yet. besides.. he’d rather put that energy into drinking coffee. maybe that’ll get things working enough for sentences to last more than a word or two.

[ohiofever]

[ . . . ]

He slipped off the bed quietly, standing a stretching a bit to shake the tension out of his muscles and bones. He started walking around, finding a mirror and hand combing his hair to not look like a mess.

“Coffee sounds awesome right now. You a pancakes or biscuit kinda guy, Ryan?”

     nobody really knew much about ryan. he’d been with the crew for longer than most could remember ( all, except one, in fact ) but still none of them knew who he was. what made him tick.

❝ ..Feeling like a pancake day. ❞

     he muses, eyes on the littlest lad. something about privacy crosses his mind, but he wipes it away with a long swig of coffee. ( sweet, lots of cream and sugar, but nobody needed to know that just yet, either. )

     turning, he makes his way back to the kitchen. a pot of coffee sits, keeping itself warm, on the maker.

[dex-tw]

雪雛