Tweet Fighter: (how I got Lupe Fiasco to block me on Twitter)
Street Fighter V is upon release with each passing minute, and in my anxiousness I feel the need to check Street Fighter’s official twitter account about as often as a pirate has to check for signs of scurvy. Taking notice to the fact that it’s 3:30 in the morning (at the time), meaning that Street Fighter V is only a short 19 days away (at the time), I decide to check Street Fighter’s twitter for anything I’ve missed since the last time I checked, which was probably two fucking minutes prior, and lo and behold, retweet after retweet of the cunting (no, cunting is not a word) Lupe Fiasco jabbering on about Street Fighter like he knows anything worth a shit.
“But Rainey, while I do find your writing engaging and your syntax remarkable, I can’t help but ask, who is Lupe Fiasco?” That’s a great fucking question, o’ loyal one-or-two readers. The answer is
the answer is Lupe Fiasco is a musician of the rapping persuasion who hasn’t been relevant since his verse on Kanye West’s Touch the Sky, or for those that stuck around till the bitter end, his song Superstar, featuring the likes of Matthew Santos. He later went on to create mediocre, hardly memorable music (and I use the term ‘music’ lightly) that would eventually fade into irrelevance and drive him to his current psychological state. I also wouldn’t entirely disagree that it’s also what’s driven him to look like that creepy relative who’s always crashing on your couch by night, and by day, skulking about grounds of your nearest elementary school, chanting conspiracy theories and how we all need to do our part in society, but always shows up to the cookout empty-handed and somehow still has the audacity to expect people to welcome him with open arms.
Where was I going with this?
Ah, yes. So, as far as twitter is concerned, Poop-in MiAsshole has picked up a Street Fighting habit, and while I wish that were true in the literal sense, I mean it in that he has been playing Street Fighter. Or, I’m sorry, played Street Fighter on two occasions, as evidenced below.
What’s also made apparent in these tweets is his sheer arrogance and blatant disregard for the fact that no one had a single fucking clue that he even played the game, which speaks volumes for the idea that his burn-out status in music has made him desperate for a second chance at the spotlight like a jaded chicken with a death wish. “But Rainey, his record is pretty impressive, and isn’t it in the spirit of fighting games to talk trash after a winning streak?” Yes, of course, when you hold some fucking weight, or when you’re among friends, not when you just picked up the game again after realizing that this music shit isn’t really your gig, and it’s on an outlet where people like me can take screenshots for posts like this. You don’t just go saying things like, “there were so many victims,” when you’ve only just re-immersed yourself in the franchise, and the game within that franchise that you’re bragging about is dated as fuck. It’s like being great at soccer, but only being great at the version of soccer that ancient civilizations used to play involving kicking severed heads about a stone courtyard. Soccer, in this case, is Street Fighter, and the severed heads are the archaic versions of Street Fighter that Lupe Pistachio is gloating about in the aforementioned tweets. Everyone’s playing IV now, Lupe, and no one fucking cares how good you are at II and III.
Still, this isn’t entirely why I’m upset.
THIS is:
(Sidebar: There are three individual, hardly related, points I’d like to make regarding this short correspondence between Fiasco and Julio:
I am not surprised that Mad Catz would incite something like this, and it’s a brilliant marketing technique on their part, so my beef is not with Mad Catz, or Mark Julio himself for inciting this. I think it’s a classic ploy to sell more products, and build hype around the Mad Catz franchise, as well as a means to appeal to a different crowd, even if that crowd is the Wrangler jeans, DC Shoes wearing, knows-what-the-inside-of-Fort-Knox looks-like-but-never-graduated-high-school, Kryptonics skateboard pushing crowd.
I watch a lot of anime, and I know a number of Japanese people, I also know non-Japanese people who speak the language and have been to Japan, and not I, nor they, being of a different ethnic background, ever referred to anyone as San, Kun, Sama, or Chan. It’s like when non-Spanish speaking rappers try to be cute by rapping in a horrendous Spanish accent, or when you tell someone you’re English and they start saying shit like, “Pip, pip, Cheerio!” Ugh. Or like when white people call you my nig– you understand. And finally,
I fucking hate Lupe Fiasco.)
Now, at this point, I’m trying my hardest not to Tiger Knee myself in the eyes, but to my astonishment, it happens (the match up, not me Tiger Knee’ing myself in the eyes). And I’m honestly not sure why I was expecting anything different. Usually when Mark Julio says he’s going to make something happen, it happens. And not a moment too soon, Event Hubs proudly tweets:
You can imagine that at this point, I’m fuming. And as if my anger wasn’t already at it’s fucking peak, to make matters worse, I see this load of horse piss:
Now, for anyone reading this who doesn’t play Street Fighter, this is the version he’s holding; Street Fighter IV’s 2011 updated version:
THIS is the latest, 2015 updated, current tournament version of Street Fighter IV:
AND THIS IS THE COMPLETELY NEW, UNRELEASED GAME THAT HE IS GOING TO PLAY. AGAINST. FUCKING. DAIGO. UMEHARA.
Why am I so angry? Why does this get under my skin? Why did I start writing this at 3:45 in the morning, when the clock is now approaching 5:50? If you’ve read this far and still find it difficult to pinpoint what my problem is exactly, I’d like to remind you of the title of this blog, and that you knew what you were signing up for when you followed it, however my problem is, and I will put it for you simply: Everything about this fucking phony ass fuckboy makes me angry.
What makes me especially angry is the exploitation of an art-form for the purpose of commercial recognition. I was ecstatic when I first heard news that ESPN was getting a section dedicated to e-sports, I thought, “wow, finally, a chance at recognition in the eyes of mainstream media. An eye-opening experience for those only used to contact sport, and a way for sports to appeal to someone other than the beer guzzling cheating husbands and illiterate construction workers.” But then I came to the realization that maybe this wasn’t such a good idea. Maybe the exclusivity, and reclusivity (no, reclusivity is not a word) of the competitive gaming scene is what made it so wonderful. Maybe people enjoyed the amount of work and hours of tournament footage one would have to watch in order to be fairly knowledgable regarding the machinations of competitive gaming, and more specifically, Street Fighter, because it meant that anyone who was up on the Street Fighter competitive scene actually wanted to be there. I can’t help but feel that while ESPN’s decision to incorporate e-sports is amazing in it’s own sense, it’s going to be detrimental in the long run, and Lupe Fiasco’s scheduled match with Daigo is but a glimpse of the impending apocalypse that is to come, where all integrity in the Street Fighter scene will come face to face with rapture. It’s made evident in this succession of tweets below. How is it that you gleefully agree to a match with arguably the greatest Street Fighter player of all time, in a game that has yet to be released, whom people have been waiting ever so patiently for, and then have the audacity to spew this from your facehole?
This is what I’m talking about. Before Mark Julio approached Lupe about his match with Daigo, he tweeted, in response to a follower asking if he was going to pick up Street Fighter V, “No. They lost me when SF went 3D. I’m 2D and I’m fine with that.” But then after the offer is made to have a SFV match with Daigo, he gladly agrees, saying it would “be an honor to lose to Daigo-san…” It’s also infuriating to see tweets like the latter, where he dismisses any character that isn’t of the Shotokan variety, saying they’re a bore. Any fan of the franchise would appreciate different characters and their uniqueness, and how players go about using them to their advantage. Of course, Groupe Fiasco is just that. A groupie. He picked up Street Fighter for a couple of days and thinks his ineptitude will be excused by his slew of thoughtless followers. It’s this kind of fakeness that worries me when it comes to ESPN opening the door for people like this to contaminate the Street Fighter scene because one thing I’ve always admired about it is that it’s real. There is no politicking, no fakeness, everyone brings their A-game and plays their best, all while retaining a respectable sense of sportsmanship. It’s the truest form of competition that I’ve seen in a long time. All I’m saying is that I’d like for Street Fighter to retain it’s integrity, and I hope that it remains a medium for people of all shapes, sizes, and ages, to display their prowess in an indiscriminate light, rather than turn into a corporation in the hands of ESPN and people like Lupe Fiasco.
Also, I fucking hate Lupe Fiasco. And to make my hatred apparent, I said:
Among a slew of other things, I definitely put my best foot forward in making my disgust for this fucking guy apparent, to which he replied with blocking me. Naturally, I was overjoyed.
I got what I wanted.
Fuck you, Lupe.
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