agony.

i do not want this yet it consumes me. 17 *no pictures or videos are mine*

[ohnoholly]

Oh we are so back 💯💯

[ohnoholly]

EVERYONE DO A 4 DAY FAST (or more)

I recently finished my longest full fast (84hours), and it was the best decision I've made, so I want to tell you a bit about how it went and what I've noticed since finishing it.

I had binged the night before I started, so the next morning I wasnt hungry, and didn't feel like eating until late afternoon. I drank a lot of water (~3.5L throughout the day) to prevent hunger, and went to bed early so I couldn't eat. I got a bit hungry around lunch time on the second day, but after that I can honestly say I didn't feel hungry for the rest of my fast. I was surprised, I'll admit I'm one of those people with a bottomless stomach, and I'm terrible at knowing when I've had enough. It's amazing how quickly my body adapted from visibly shaking from sugar cravings to looking at or smelling foods and feeling absolutely nothing. After the second day I had normal energy and was able to do the odd workout and keep going for walks. I was thinking clearly and productive. The only issues I had were a) finding something to do to fill the time and b) the intense nausea I would get at night time from taking my vitamins without food. This was only an issue if I took longer than usual to fall asleep, so exercising before bed helped. I didn't feel hungry when I ended my fast- I am diabetic, and my blood sugar level dropped and wouldn't have risen unless I ate. I was worried eating anything would kind of 'open the floodgates' and I'd binge again, but actually this didn't happen. I went to my dining hall the next morning because I was a bit peckish, had a piece of bacon and half a hash brown, and then threw out the rest of my food because my body told me it had had enough.

Since ending my fast, I don't have sugar cravings: going cold Turkey really worked for me. I eat semi-regular meals, but I'm never really "hungry", so I don't worry about binging. I'm also fine with throwing food away: I think letting my body know what real emptiness feels like helped it learn when I've had enough, and fasting in general just killed any personal connection to food that made me feel bad about not finishing it. I lost about 4kg in my fast, which honestly isn't my record, but I've kept it off since with pretty normal eating habits (2 to 3 meals/ day with no snacks). Personally, I love that now my body physically revolts when it doesn't want food, and when it does, it doesn't demand it.

Moral of the story: do a fast. I would've loved to do a week, but just do however long you can and know it will help. The first 2-3 days will be the hardest, so remove all temptations and see how you feel from there, and you will be surprised at how easy it is. If you have any questions or want any advice you can comment/ message me and I'll help. I know fasting isn't new but I just feel so completely satisfied with my experience and want to help my disordered babies out <3

[ohnoholly]

Lily James is so pretty :)

[idavinge]

[ohnoholly]

Just ate an entire baguette lmao oui oui bitch

[ohnoholly]

54kg now. Not any happier. It's not enough.

[ohnoholly]

My favourite cafe lady gave me free yoghurt and granola 🥺 I love her so much

[mondlichty]

[ohnoholly]

I didn't want someone to care about me being sick, I wanted someone to care about me being sick.

[ohnoholly]

14th February -> 67.4Kg

10th March -> 58.1 Kg

First time under 60Kg in over 3 years 🥺

[ohnoholly]

Just letting everyone know that at the end of my second week in college I have lost 5kg 😌

(I am too anxious to leave my room and go to the dining hall)

[ohnoholly]

I hate college but I love that I can serve in peace. Today I had 5 walnuts and a piece of Zucchini 😌

[ohnoholly]

Just spent $4 on a cookie I didn't even want what is the opposite of a relapse

[ohnoholly]

Accidentally bought a jar of Nutella so the question is do I eat it all now to get rid of it, or continue to eat a bit every day 🤔🤔🤔

[ohnoholly]

Just ate 400g of Nutella how we doing ;)

[ohnoholly]

Accidentally bought a jar of Nutella so the question is do I eat it all now to get rid of it, or continue to eat a bit every day 🤔🤔🤔

[ohnoholly]

I move out in less than a week I can finally starve in peace

[ohnoholly]

So I think I'm going to stop counting calories. HEAR ME OUT I have been doing intermittent fasting (16:8) since the 1st of January, sub 1000cal/day, and sub 30g carbs/day. In the first 4 days I lost 2kg, but haven't been able to shake any more since :( I think this might be the plateau we all speak of. Tbh I don't know why I did low cal too, the point of low carb is that your body burns what you have in excess- fat/calories. But I just wanted to be skinni :/ anyway I'll give it a try and hopefully my metabolism wakes up again 🥲