Cosmic Funnies
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@ohzaki-blog
at my 7th grade parent teacher conference, my english teacher was telling my mom how insightful my poem was about ‘my evil twin’ and how fascinating it was that at my age i could recognize the dark parts of myself but i was just talking about my twin brother he was such a dick
( text: alex )
Alex: You're welcome
Alex: That's my plan, hopefully. Wouldn't mind having you out there too buddy
Alex: That's a good way to think about it zaki. I'm sure there are some things i'll miss too but at the moment i'm ready to leave weslyn asap
Zaki: Maybe! Ii should be hearing from Stanford in the next week or so, so fingers crossed! Where did you end up applying to?
Zaki: Believe me, I understand. For me, it's about getting away from New York in general. I love it here, but once you have your first taste of freedom, /real/ freedom, where you're free to completely be yourself, it's hard to revert back to the person you're pretending to be.
( text: alex )
Alex: It doesn't, zaki. Just like it doesn't make you less of a man for liking boys
Alex: Well shit if it is, i'd really fucking love to be a part of that normal
Alex: I'm getting really tired of people around here, you know?
Zaki: I guess. Thank you, Alex :)
Zaki: We should just move to California, haha!
Zaki: I know. On the bright side, there's only a few months left until we graduate. And as much as I'm looking forward to it, I know that there will come a time in my life where I will miss all of this.
( text: rhys )
Rhys: okay. okay, i'm sorry, i just...i don't know. i just wish people could see how i feel about you i guess.
Rhys: why? do you want me to? ;)
Rhys: i guess just sometimes i wonder what it'd be like, you know? if we stuck it out. like maybe we'd get a place together or something and that's where it would start. and we could live our lives and be happy, you know? just be us. i mean we could go on dates and shit and it's just little stuff i guess
Zaki: That is so sweet, I'm smiling like an idiot right now! :) I wish the same thing. I want to show everyone how happy you make me. I just want to be able to do the simple things like hold your hand in public or kiss your cheek or just hold you in my arms without being fearful. I'm just really sorry I'm putting you through this, too.
Zaki: You really think about all that? :) :) :) :) :)
( text: rhys )
Rhys: but don't you get it? you make me happy
Rhys: fine
Rhys: i don't know...just random shit i guess
Zaki: :) I want to carry on making you happy. But there are just some things I'm not ready to do right now. I wish I was. Honestly, I wish I didn't care so much, I wish I wasn't so worried. But I am. There aren't a lot of options for me if my family disowns me, there aren't a lot of places I can go and I'm fairly certain my father will freeze my trust fund too. It's not as easy as you think it is, Rhys. So please, I just need to you to understand or be patient or something. I know that's asking for a lot but... please.
Zaki: Are you going to be more specific?
( text: rhys )
Rhys: but is it going to be like that forever?
Rhys: why can't we just talk about it?
Rhys: i guess sometimes yeah
Zaki: No, of course not... I don't expect you to stick around forever if that's the case. It's not fair on you, you deserve to be happy
Zaki: I just don't want to talk about it
Zaki: What kind of things do you think about?
( text: rhys )
Rhys: wait so you'd take a roof over us?
Rhys: let me ask you something
Rhys: if in the distant future we were still together and you still hadn't come out would we just keep brokeback mountaining that shit? am i gonna be 40 and seeing you for a quick fling and then you go back to your wife and kids that dad picked out or something?
Zaki: Rhys you knew this was how things are going to be when we started dating, you knew our relationship wouldn't be one we could flaunt about in public.
Zaki: Can we just drop this please? I'm sorry if I upset you by making you delete that picture but it made me uncomfortable.
Zaki: Wait, you think about our future?
[ text : zaki ]
Faris: okay
Zaki: okay.
( text: rhys )
Rhys: yes you can! you have a CHOICE, zaki! you always have a choice!
Rhys: i don't get it
Rhys: why don't you want people to know the real you?
Rhys: what is so fucking bad about being attracted to me? or men or whatever?
Zaki: It's easy for you to say! You don't know what will happen to me if I ever came out. I've only just learned to accept myself. Do you honestly think everyone else will accept me? My family? Some of my friends? My choice is choosing between having a roof over my head with a family that loves me and being "the real me" I will choose that former, always. It's not about you, okay?
Zaki: I assumed you understood, but I guess not
[ text : zaki ]
Faris: yeah, hurry off back to curly's dick
Zaki: There. Is. Nothing. Going. On. Between. Me. And. Rhys.
( text: rhys )
Rhys: faris has a stick up his ass just ignore him
Rhys: that's not the point
Rhys: how long are we going to keep pretending like this isn't a thing?
Zaki: That's not fair, Rhys. You know I can't do anything about our situation
Zaki: Besides, it doesn't matter as long as we know it's real, right?
[ text : zaki ]
Faris: i'm not starting shit with you
Zaki: Okay. Are we done here then?
( text: rhys )
Rhys: it's not like he's going to find out
Rhys: w o w sorry that maybe i want to be able to express how much i care about you once in a while
Zaki: Faris has threatened to tell him!
Zaki: I have no problem with you expressing it, in fact I encourage it. It's when it could potentially get me in a lot of trouble that it becomes a problem. There's nothing wrong with you expressing it off of social media and when it's just the two of us.
[ text : zaki ]
Faris: you sure know how to sin, don't you, zaki?
Faris: sure. i'll drop it for now.
Faris: good to know.
Zaki: Faris, don't start this
Zaki: Thank you.
Zaki: My point is that it's hardly a compliment.
[ texts : zaki kitten ]
Onyx: never heard of that henry dude is, but i'm pretty sure it wasn't just a dream it felt pretty damn real
Zaki: Henny not Henry and she's not a dude. It's the original tale of Chicken Little. So, what happened? How did you save the day?
( text: rhys )
Rhys: i didn't think it was a big deal
Rhys: you couldn't even see your face
Zaki: It's more than a big deal and because of you, my father is going to kill me
Zaki: and 'sexy as hell', really Rhys? Thanks a whole lot!
[ text : zaki ]
Faris: you're just hypocritical, that's it
Faris: he'd care if it was yours, though
Faris: i wonder what he'd do
Faris: and that caption is pretty interesting, isn't it?
Zaki: In what ways am I hypocritical?
Zaki: Exactly. But it's not mine. Just drop it please...
Zaki: I'm not sure, is it? I've heard Rhys call a burrito from Chipotle 'sexy' once.
