really tired of being governed by a death cult undergoing mass psychosis who thinks its their duty to bring about the apocalypse and im not being hyperbolic

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@oilvla
really tired of being governed by a death cult undergoing mass psychosis who thinks its their duty to bring about the apocalypse and im not being hyperbolic
Me when I'm a dead knight effigy but I keep smiling through eternity because I know I'm serving major cunt
Update: I have found the full effigy and it's even crazier actually
i think "[sic]" is one of the funniest things of literature. like yeah this guy really wrote it out like that
For the uninitiated, you write [sic]—literally "this" or "so" in latin—to indicate that you haven't altered the wording or spelling. While it can be used to preserve a joke misspelling (aminals) or indicate that you know it looks weird (the Toronto Maple Leafs), it is also the most biting three letters that you can throw at a motherfucker who should know better.
Somebody made an error here and it sure wasn't me (derogatory)
I thought I must have a genetic predisposition for loving the fuck out of muffins, so I did what anyone would do and hired a private investigator. Turns out I have an ancestor who lived on Drury Ln.
just got a call from the american psychiatric association. you old dogs, i said, picking up on the first ring. how many times i gotta tell you to lose this number. i don’t want you coming around here anymore. “listen, toots, we’ve been doing some thinking,” they says, and i says, guess there’s a first time for everything. “you’re a real funny dame, sugardoll. reviewing criticism, we’ve determined that the biggest issue with our previous diagnostic and statistic manuals of mental disorders is the anonymity of it all. we’ve been circling around a vague figure of the mentally well without defining the traits of a mentally well person. there’s no personality. what we need is a cute broad with a couple opinions to model the psychological norm.” so i’m saying back up and give it to me straight: i’m the new standard of sanity? can i get that in writing? and they say, “as the american psychiatric association we hereby state that you are the baseline and any deviations from your personality are deviations from the very concept of sanity, at least in the united states psychiatric system.” they’re making it public tomorrow. it’s a nice gig, if you really want to know. never thought they’d let a woman do it.
ARE YOU READY FOR SOME FOOBAW
[VERY SMALL VOICE] foobaw!
thoughts to have while scrolling
that's very true!
this is relevant to my interests!
that's not true at all!
you are trying to make me angry on purpose!
this is not relevant to my interests!
op is a braggart and a knave!
i find this displeasing!
i really enjoy this image!
this is very relatable!
what the fuck is wrong with you people!
12/25 blaze it!
to all who celebrate
this meme sounds like her
i bet it feels good as fuck to be a little kitty cat sleeping with your face tucked away in your paws
goddd i bet this rules
Find a set of random coordinates here.* You are promptly teleported to that location, with nothing more than the clothes and other objects on your person. How bad a time are you having?
*: Reroll open ocean results. Let's assume the teleporter has the decency to at least deposit you on solid ground.
Teleporting results:
Mortal peril - Exposure to the elements
Mortal peril - Dangerous wildlife
Mortal peril - Dangerous humans
I'll have a rough time, but I'll live
Mostly okay, though still a weird experience
Hell yeah, impromptu vacation~!
Imagine if we took the cop budget and turned it into a free ride service budget
Bringing this post back because I wanna talk about it more.
Read an article in the local paper submitted anonymously by a woman who got a DUI two years ago.
My first instinct was to hate her. Because I hate drinking and driving. Viscerally. Anyone who knows me knows how intense I can be about impaired driving of all kinds (drunk, high, tired). It’s not worth it. It gets people killed. I lost a good friend to a drunk driver. Don’t ever. I’ve gotten in fights with people! I have stolen keys!
“Don’t ever” was, in fact, the point of her writing it. But not because of the danger posed to others. Because of how much a single DUI had ruined her life for two straight years. This also didn’t garner much sympathy from me, because obviously the REAL reason not to drink and drive is because you could kill someone. What do I care if someone irresponsible is inconvenienced?
Anyway, this woman was pulled over after leaving a bar where she had two beers to drive a few blocks to her friend’s place. This didn’t really make me more sympathetic because I’m a hardass when it comes to drinking and driving, but she wasn’t pulled over for any kind of impaired driving. She was driving perfectly. It was clearly the kind of stop that happens late at night when the cops are just fishing. The cop made up something about her stickers being placed wrong or a faulty light, before making her take the normal physical impairment tests (as someone with dyspraxia these scare the shit out of me, but that’s neither here nor there) which she passed just fine. In fact, her driving was perfect, her reactions were perfect. But then came the breathalyzer. And her blood alcohol was just too high.
She got arrested.
And the rest of article was her detailing her attempts since to try to get her license back.
The for profit companies she had to take classes from, the for profit companies who make you pay to install the breathalyzer in your car, how if you are able to plead poverty to get aid for that installation you also have to commit to going once a month to a for profit company that will calibrate your discounted breathalyzer and how if you don’t go your car will get remotely bricked and how the pandemic interrupted the hours of these places without notice meaning her car needed to be towed when she missed an appointment after the place was closed when she expected it to be open, how this added to her sentence, how she lost her insurance.
As I read this, I thought, sure, about how much I hate drunk driving. About my knee-jerk, visceral lack of sympathy. And I asked myself:
Does any of this actually make me feel safer?
And it doesn’t. It doesn’t make me feel any safer at all. This woman was writing this article to say “Don’t drink and drive. Not even once. It’s not worth it.” But what I got from it was, these punitive measures aren’t preventing people from drinking and driving. They’re just… giving cops and for-profits fun new ways to mistreat and exploit normal people. People we, people I personally, can feel disinclined to protect because of judgments we have about them.
Meanwhile, people are still going to drink and drive.
And I thought about what would work. What would make me feel safer. And you know what would make me feel safer? If people who hadn’t planned ahead could still get a ride home. I’d much rather someone call the police (or a service that’s one of the many we institute to replace them) and go “I drove here but I don’t think I’m safe to drive home” and have the reply be “someone will be right there”. Then a pair of public servants show up, one to drive you home and one to drive your car home, and you get home safe.
I would love for traffic safety to be, like, the actual goal of how we manage traffic laws.
But more than that, punitive attempts to control people, blatant disproven behaviorism, doesn’t work. If your political philosophy is about finding the “bad” or “undeserving” and ensuring they struggle, I can’t identify with it. It’s hard to come up with a type of “common crime” that I have more disdain for than drinking and driving, but disapproving of the way this woman has been treated is not the same as justifying her actions. I don’t care! I don’t care if she learns her lesson! I don’t care if I like her! Everything you’re doing to her for a single breathalyzer failure is not keeping the roads safer!
The moment she failed the breathalyzer, you should’ve just given her a ride. That’s all I need.
#you know what else is heavily criminalized in the usa? sleeping in your car#realize you're not safe to drive home? well too fucking bad you also cant just sleep it off#then the thing about how they don't drink any less in europe but have significantly lower DUI instances#literally because they have working public transit
keep liking my posts and we’re gonna end up as longtime mutuals who never talk to each other
video description:
Video starts on a black woman wearing a light pink snapback hat with gold glasses and a blue shirt, sat in the backseat of a car on the passenger side, captioned "What is the most pettiest things you've taken after a breakup?" She asks the camera, "What's the most petty thing you've taken from your ex after your breakup? I'll go first."
Video cuts to a black woman with short hair in a floral shirt standing before a brick wall. What she says is as follows:
"Many years ago, just a few days before Christmas, my ex informed me that he was no longer happy; he was seeing someone else and um. He just wanted to 'move on' with his life. And he suggested that I move out after the holidays because" The woman shrugs.
"You know it was his house. And I understood that." The woman rolls her eyes.
"I left that same day. I called my sister she brought a U-Haul, and we got my stuff outta there. But when I say 'my stuff' I meant My Stuff.
"I took everything. He had nothing when I got there; I left him with nothing.
"And, to top it off..." She looks to her left, before looking at the camera again.
"I took the damn Christmas tree. Yes I did. Tied it to the top of my car, ornaments and all, I was riding down the highway ornaments falling off.
"I felt like the Grinch.
"It was exhilarating." A short pause.
"Ho ho ho you mother- I can't say that."
The TikTok logo appears, showing the video came from @ theraven225.