[alamatomb]

Did you know that you can drink lava? But only once

[micdotcom]

Ireland has officially become the first nation on Earth to legalize same-sex marriage via popular vote 

[showers-of-sparks]

[dennys]

dennys have you ever had a cheeky nandos

a cheeky nandos? what’s all this then? naw mate, never heard of nandos. you ever had a cheeky denny’s though? it’s when you’ve just had a wild one, a total futurama, mate, bender from the future. it’s getting late and marcus, ledge-fund manager extraordinaire, suggests stopping off for a cheeky dennys before heading back to the flat. tim just got sick on his trainers but he’s like “no you know wot that’s the ticket, a cheeky dennys would bring me right back quick snap, i’m hank marvin fellas” so you pop into denn-denn and your group might as well be VIP cause it’s top lads only and the food is coming hot and quick but not as hot and quick as the proper banty-banty shanty, led by none other than the mad lad Preston who is basically William Bantner, straight out of this world with his bants-pants, Star Trek style, right? It’s such a top notch top quality time that even the waitress is all “wots this, mates? you lads tellin’ banterbury tales?” and then she offers you all a free round of eggs and you’re like “let’s smash it.” 

[straightwhiteboyproblems]

[joycemanor]

when I was like 9 my neighbors asked me to watch their fish and cat while they went on vacation and I was like “lol k” and while they were gone tHE FUCKING FISH DIED so when they got home I apologized to the mom and she was just like “no need to apologize, I turned the filter off so they would die because they are too much work. You did nothing wrong” and she gave me 20 bucks and that is the story of my first contracted murder

[p-lastictaste]

First

[jxtapose]

Visit Original Link

Matty’s part in the Drive Travis $cott remix

[jxtapose]

This was my reaction exactly

[kualify]

[oinkwipin]

Me: I don't want to wait until 2016 for album 2

Matty: remember when you had a life and stopped making bitchy comments about mine ?

[claudia-kishi]

[xv7-deactivated20140923]

okay athiests

explain this

[youtomb]

2 notes doesnt pay the rent 

[fonzworthcutlass]

[lamelohan]

me: schools hard

parents: well when i was in schoo-

me:

[haemus-deactivated20150612]

$10,000 and i will post a selfie

[slab-o-meat]