S, they/them, mid 20s. writer, singer, cellist, cryptid. lover of all things old, queer, olfactory, whimsical, gothic, and archival. ⊹ ﹏𓊝﹏𓂁﹏⊹ ˖
current (eternal?) fixation: the franklin expedition & amc's "the terror"𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟
(poems, song lyrics, and other writings under my "scribbles" tag are my original works when specified, and are not to be copied or used in any capacity without my explicit, enthusiastic consent.) xoxo
name: scylla ( [skaɪˌlə], [sɪˌlːə], or [skɪˌlːə] are all fine!), or S
pronouns + gender things: they/them, nonbinary
age: mid-20s
hobbies + passions: learning, writing, composing + performing music, preservation + memory work, hiking, birdnoticing, engaging in reparative + trauma-informed practices, being a little weird + freaky, cooking, never losing my whimsy, getting by with a little help from my friends, smelling stuff
other fun intro things: pisces sun/aries moon/saggitarius rising, enneagram 9w1, ENFP
more goodies under the cut! xoxo
𝕗𝕒𝕧𝕠𝕣𝕚𝕥𝕖𝕤 + 𝕗𝕒𝕟𝕕𝕠𝕞𝕤 (in no particular order)
books: crime and punishment (dostoevsky), mansfield park (jane austen), frankenstein (mary shelley), carmilla (joseph sheridan lefanu, edited by carmen maria machado), the hobbit + the lord of the rings trilogy (j.r.r. tolkien), cat's cradle (kurt vonnegut), the priory of the orange tree (samantha shannon)
bands/musical artists: broadcast, nine inch nails, gabriel kahane, portishead, cake, ethel cain, cindy lee, boygenius (and the lads, lucy/phoebe/julien, individually), indigo de souza, sidney gish, the beths, the buzzcocks, sam philips, fiona apple, the cure, siouxsie and the banshees, the smiths (not him. you know who i mean.), radiohead, iron & wine
composers (cellist and a mezzo here so this needs to be a different category - i'm the worst kind of sorry sir): mendelssohn, strozzi, brahms, hahn, shostakovich, elgar, caccini, korngold, dove, saint-saëns, mozart, berlioz
movies: der himmel über berlin (wings of desire), pride and prejudice 2005, twin peaks: fire walk with me, all that heaven allows, the seventh seal, princess mononoke, house, trick r treat, army of darkness, hereditary, the night of the hunter, i saw the tv glow, the death of stalin, seven samurai
tv shows: twin peaks, the terror, the x files, true detective s1, succession, over the garden wall, the pitt
games: anything that fromsoft has done, basically (but ESPECIALLY bloodborne), ttrpgs + horror games
𝕨𝕣𝕚𝕥𝕚𝕟𝕘 𝕡𝕣𝕠𝕛𝕖𝕔𝕥𝕤
(psst. i have a lot of these going on because my brain doesn't know how to shut the fuck up. if you're looking for a specific uploading schedule for any of my longer projects, you're not going to find one -- sorry to disappoint dsajlkfjdaslgjdf)
fanfic:
on ships and anchors: the terror, modern AU, goodcollins-focused. ongoing.
whitechapel wants us dead: the terror, Victorian-era rescue AU tied to jack the ripper. multiship. ongoing.
the moon, it sings: the terror, show canon, werewolf AU. multiship. ongoing.
out by the bearded barley: the terror, modern, witchy and whimsigoth-y girlnavy AU inspired by Practical Magic. multiship. ongoing.
upcoming - the worst kind of records, sir: the terror, modern AU... multiship.
upcoming - corps à corpse: the terror, modern fencing team + dark academia AU. mulitiship.
and there are more lil ficlets and things to check out on my ao3, if you feel inclined :)
essays:
upcoming - title TBD: essay series connecting core themes and characters in the terror to archival history, theory, and practices
original fiction:
more to add, stay tuned...
𝕠𝕥𝕙𝕖𝕣 𝕗𝕒𝕟𝕕𝕠𝕞 𝕡𝕣𝕠𝕛𝕖𝕔𝕥𝕤
the HMS Olfactory project: the terror-related fandom project involving the creation of fragrances profiles for each character, tying in character analysis, fandom input, and the history of fragrance. presented as a poster at Terror Camp 2025. (more sideblog content coming soon!)
i'll likely add to and edit this post a bunch, but ty if you read this! <3
cold boy tapes, day 1: crying in the dark (Goodsir)
i made a Goodsir-focused playlist for day 1 of @bell-swamp-fitzjames's playlist event, @cold-boy-tapes! this is inspired by the end of Goodsir's arc in the show — morfin's death, mutiny camp, and deciding his own fate.
Playlist · 10 Songs
playlist icon credit to @normalmammal! tracklist + some lyrics with "liner notes" under the cut •ᴗ•
tracklist (meant to be played in order):
etienne - ethel cain
don't have a strong explanation for this one, but i think it sets the tone for the playlist and what it references. the song is an ode to the architect etienne louis boullée, according to one of ethel cain/hayden anhedönia's old tumblr posts.
wandering star - portishead
i associate this track with the despair and some of the anger Goodsir must have felt during the last two episodes of the show. there's a bitter edge to some of the song, especially the second half, that reminds me of the edge in some of Goodsir's dialogue in the later episodes (i.e. his sarcastic "good" in response to Crozier's request to cut open Irving; the lack of comfort he offers Gibson at mutiny camp, especially in contrast to how he spoke to David Young at the start of the series; his initial refusal at Hickey's orders to butcher Gibson).
please, could you stay awhile to share my grief?
for it's such a lovely day
to have to always feel this way
and the time that i will suffer less
is when i never have to wake
wandering stars, for whom it is reserved
the blackness, the darkness, forever...
the chorus of the song is also a reference to scripture — Jude 1:13, part of a description of the fates of false teachers and ungodly men: "raging waves of the sea, foaming out their own shame; wandering stars, to whom is reserved the blackness of darkness for ever." to me, this connects to Goodsir's implied disagreement with Crozier's insistence in episode 10 that he is clean despite everything, and the feelings of crushing moral failure that he carries with him ("if ever i was a doctor, i am one no longer").
i also really wanted to include this song because a) it's my favorite portishead song, and b) to shout out the fucking amazing edit Cig made to this song last year!
not - big thief
i love the spiraling nature of this song. the lyrics grapple with ineffability, being unable to articulate what's being experienced. dealing with and witnessing things that cannot be explained is connected to Goodsir from the start of the series with the death of David Young, so this felt like a fitting pick.
not to die
not dying
not to laugh
not lying
not the vacant wildness vying
drawn to the blood - sufjan stevens
debated a lot about which sufjan song to include here (guy who cannot resist the urge to put a sufjan stevens song in a sad playlist), but decided to go with this one because of the chorus:
for my prayer has always been love
what did i do to deserve this?
i imagine Goodsir reflecting on the Expedition here, especially after butchering Gibson.
there's also a reference to dragons in the fourth verse, which neatly ties to another song on this album, "no shade in the shadow of the cross" that is featured on my Collins playlist of a similar kind. couldn't resist the tidy connection there.
real house - adrianne lenker
at some point, Goodsir must have yearned for his family back home and thought back to his childhood. that's what i think of with this song.
We moved into a real house
A wild field behind it
I wanted to be an inventor
Collected scraps to make a portal
I wanted so much for magic to be real
younger & dumber - indigo de souza
Goodsir's ability to find wonder and experience curiosity throughout the Expedition is one of the many reasons i love his character. as horrible things keep happening and he's unable to save the people around him, though, i imagine this side of him wavering, and him internally struggling with that — maybe even hating himself a little for being so naïve. i connect bits of this song to that, as well as the exhaustion that he must have felt being constantly in demand to care for others around him, especially after Carnivale.
verse 3 in particular for me connects to the scene in the tent following Morfin's death, where Goodsir is being comforted by Silna.
Sometimes I just don't wanna be alone
And it's not cause I'm lonely
It's just 'cause I get so tired of filling
The space all around me
And the love I feel is so powerful
It can take you anywhere
And the love I feel is so very real
It'll drag you down...
small hands - keaton henson
keaton henson is a Goodsir-coded artist, imo. i picked this song in particular because of these lines:
miss you terribly already,
miss the space between your eyelids
where i'd stare through awkward sentences
and void through awkward silence
and the refrain:
and i,
i hope for your life
you can forget about mine,
forget about mine...
i imagine Goodsir thinking about/speaking to Silna, here. the song references a breakup and lingering feelings about an ex, but with Goodsir and Silna, it feels much bigger than that.
i think of the "awkward sentences/awkward silence" as a nod to them learning how to communicate with each other earlier in the series. the refrain could be Goodsir feeling guilt about the horrible things that have happened since he's/the Expedition's entered Silna's life, and a parting wish that she can forget about him/them, somehow.
of course, Silna couldn't possibly forget the trauma she's endured, but a naïve wish like that feels fitting to Goodsir's character, too.
a burning hill - mitski
my absolute favorite goodsir-focused edit by the amazing @guiildenstern is to this song. the lyrics directly reference Goodsir's final actions in episode 10, expressing his exhaustion and meeting his limit:
today i will wear my white button-down
i'm tired of wanting more
i think i'm finally worn
and how he uses his own death and body as a final act of justice, to poison Hickey and the other mutineers:
i am a forest fire
and i am the fire, and i am the forest
and i am a witness watching it
last words of a shooting star - mitski
this is a companion song to a burning hill here, and mainly references Goodsir's tidy ritual of "washing" and dressing himself before taking his own life.
and i am relieved that i'd left my room tidy
goodbye...
tears in the typing pool - broadcast
broadcast is my favorite band! i decided to close with this (selfishly - everyone go listen to broadcast NOW) mainly because of the ending lyrics:
the page turns on me and you
across that white plain
the land is unchanged.
all the love in the world for Cig for running this event. see y'all for day 2! ˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶
(person who suspects they have ocd voice): what if every time i think something is an ocd symptom im actually faking it and stereotyping and ruining the lives of people with real ocd and im a terrible person
You are my absolute hero for drawing chunky Ned!!! I adore the way you draw him in general, but then to give him lovehandles!!????? *chefs kiss* perfection!!!!
Listen I will ALWAYS be a “Ned is chunky under all his layers (before they get lead poisoning and starve obvi)” truther so thank you for indulging me
Let’s see if this gets flagged for nudity again lmao (Edit: ofc it did aggehrhhf)
old department i was in at my university removed me from their canva team. which resulted in the deletion of all of my projects and designs. i'm gonna fucking lose it
As this post is going gangbusters, and it's Pride, I'd like to point out that there's four days left to watch another free Orpheus & Eurydice, this time an immersive production which begins with us all as guests at their queer wedding. (You'll need knowledge of French or German to get it all, but if you know the story you'll be good)
Impresionante ceremonia de inauguración de la torre de Jesucristo de la Sagrada Familia:
La Sagrada Familia no es una iglesia. Es una promesa de 140 años que hoy alguien cumplió. Gaudí murió atropellado en 1926 sin verla terminada. Sus planos originales ardieron en la Guerra Civil. Todo lo que se ha construido desde entonces ha sido reconstrucción, interpretación, fe en una idea que nadie vivió completa.
Es asombroso, viendo como es el mundo hoy, que alguien empezara algo sabiendo que no lo vería acabado. Un genio, alguien que no sé si lo sabía, pero iba a trascender.
Absolutamente increíble. Lo que hoy ha hecho Barcelona se recordará mucho tiempo. La Sagrada Familia, Gaudí y los que durante 140 años han creído en ello, lo merecían.
