S, they/them, mid 20s. writer, singer, cellist, cryptid. lover of all things old, queer, olfactory, whimsical, gothic, and archival. ⊹ ﹏𓊝﹏𓂁﹏⊹ ˖
current (eternal?) fixation: the franklin expedition & amc's "the terror"𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟
(poems, song lyrics, and other writings under my "scribbles" tag are my original works when specified, and are not to be copied or used in any capacity without my explicit, enthusiastic consent.) xoxo
name: scylla ( [skaɪˌlə], [sɪˌlːə], or [skɪˌlːə] are all fine!), or S
pronouns + gender things: they/them, nonbinary
age: mid-20s
hobbies + passions: learning, writing, composing + performing music, preservation + memory work, hiking, birdnoticing, engaging in reparative + trauma-informed practices, being a little weird + freaky, cooking, never losing my whimsy, getting by with a little help from my friends, smelling stuff
other fun intro things: pisces sun/aries moon/saggitarius rising, enneagram 9w1, ENFP
more goodies under the cut! xoxo
𝕗𝕒𝕧𝕠𝕣𝕚𝕥𝕖𝕤 + 𝕗𝕒𝕟𝕕𝕠𝕞𝕤 (in no particular order)
books: crime and punishment (dostoevsky), mansfield park (jane austen), frankenstein (mary shelley), carmilla (joseph sheridan lefanu, edited by carmen maria machado), the hobbit + the lord of the rings trilogy (j.r.r. tolkien), cat's cradle (kurt vonnegut), the priory of the orange tree (samantha shannon)
bands/musical artists: broadcast, nine inch nails, gabriel kahane, portishead, cake, ethel cain, cindy lee, boygenius (and the lads, lucy/phoebe/julien, individually), indigo de souza, sidney gish, the beths, the buzzcocks, sam philips, fiona apple, the cure, siouxsie and the banshees, the smiths (not him. you know who i mean.), radiohead, iron & wine
composers (cellist and a mezzo here so this needs to be a different category - i'm the worst kind of sorry sir): mendelssohn, strozzi, brahms, hahn, shostakovich, elgar, caccini, korngold, dove, saint-saëns, mozart, berlioz
movies: der himmel über berlin (wings of desire), pride and prejudice 2005, twin peaks: fire walk with me, all that heaven allows, the seventh seal, princess mononoke, house, trick r treat, army of darkness, hereditary, the night of the hunter, i saw the tv glow, the death of stalin, seven samurai
tv shows: twin peaks, the terror, the x files, true detective s1, succession, over the garden wall, the pitt
games: anything that fromsoft has done, basically (but ESPECIALLY bloodborne), ttrpgs + horror games
𝕨𝕣𝕚𝕥𝕚𝕟𝕘 𝕡𝕣𝕠𝕛𝕖𝕔𝕥𝕤
(psst. i have a lot of these going on because my brain doesn't know how to shut the fuck up. if you're looking for a specific uploading schedule for any of my longer projects, you're not going to find one -- sorry to disappoint dsajlkfjdaslgjdf)
fanfic:
on ships and anchors: the terror, modern AU, goodcollins-focused. ongoing.
whitechapel wants us dead: the terror, Victorian-era rescue AU tied to jack the ripper. multiship. ongoing.
the moon, it sings: the terror, show canon, werewolf AU. multiship. ongoing.
out by the bearded barley: the terror, modern, witchy and whimsigoth-y girlnavy AU inspired by Practical Magic. multiship. ongoing.
upcoming - the worst kind of records, sir: the terror, modern AU... multiship.
upcoming - corps à corpse: the terror, modern fencing team + dark academia AU. mulitiship.
and there are more lil ficlets and things to check out on my ao3, if you feel inclined :)
essays:
upcoming - title TBD: essay series connecting core themes and characters in the terror to archival history, theory, and practices
original fiction:
more to add, stay tuned...
𝕠𝕥𝕙𝕖𝕣 𝕗𝕒𝕟𝕕𝕠𝕞 𝕡𝕣𝕠𝕛𝕖𝕔𝕥𝕤
the HMS Olfactory project: the terror-related fandom project involving the creation of fragrances profiles for each character, tying in character analysis, fandom input, and the history of fragrance. presented as a poster at Terror Camp 2025. (more sideblog content coming soon!)
i'll likely add to and edit this post a bunch, but ty if you read this! <3
*into the scourge pit by thou is not available on spotify, but free on bandcamp here.
prompt: 'crying alone in the dark/bathroom', but because it's hickey it's more 'dissociating in a dark bathroom before going out & acting like (his version of) normal' than crying. would he really listen to these or is it just easy for me to associate them with him? up to you. also, I say 'him', but this playlist is equally relevant, if not moreso, for a girlnavy hickey.
event: @cold-boy-tapes modded by @bell-swamp-fitzjames — thank you for your work!
artist spotlight: anna von hausswolff, whose album 'dead magic' I'd recommend to anyone here irrespective of personal music taste.
favourite lyric: 'the grace of god is infinitely kind / even though he left the door ajar' (an angel of great and terrible light by uboa).
happy @cold-boy-tapes kick-off day! thank you @bell-swamp-fitzjames for putting on the cold boy event of the summer!
above is the link to my spotify playlist for Modern Day Edward Little's gym session. This is sort of like if a music playlist could be horny. Tracklist and write-up below the cut.
This is a very specific flavor of Edward Little who visits the gym. At first I thought I would make a sludge metal or nu metal or rap metal playlist for his gym workouts. The idea was he's sad guy but he still lifts weights.
However, awhile ago I was talking with @werewolfsone about what I think Ed would be like at the gym. Between difficult sets I have a habit of just sort of staring off into space and dissociating, completely empty-headed. I thought Ed might also be prone to gym dissociation. Mack thought that maybe Ed might enjoy being a gym himbo (thembo? bimbo?) and I really love that idea. So here is the playlist for an Ed Little who isn't sad at the gym, because he's getting horny at the idea that his gym dissociation is making him dumber.
Bang Bang Bang by Sohodolls - This one is a lot slower and calmer but still sexy. Great song to start stretching and warming up to.
I've Seen Footage by Death Grips - I personally go right to cardio after my warmup (I don't know if that's correct. I don't actually know how to work out.) But this is really fun and can help motivate when you have to move quick.
Where's Your Head At by BasementJaxx - not sexy yet but I think that Ed might like the high bpm. Also kind of hypnotic....
JOYRIDE by Kesha - High bpm and to me this is a pervert song. Probably because I saw a fanedit of Crash (1996) set to this song.
Bathroom Bitch by HOLYCHILD - Very fun song to lift weights to. Very horny. The line "I wanna drip it from my ass to the floor" is one of the horniest lines in music ever written I think.
Girl, so confusing by CharliXCX - CharliXCX is gay guy music to me. It's like catnip to gayboys. The bass on this is also really yummy. A few tracks on this playlist are more thembo Ed to me, and this is one of them.
Satisfaction by Benny Benassi, The Biz - you aren't allowed to work out if you don't listen to this song. Your work out actually doesn't count if you don't listen to Satisfaction.
Emo Boy by Ayesha Erotica - Ed is kind of the emo boy in this situation.
Vacation Bible School by Ayesha Erotica - Have you thought of femboy4femboy edving? I have.
Girls in Bikinis by Poppy - You can imagine Ed imagining girls in bikinis or you can imagine Ed wearing a bikini. I think they're both correct. "I wanna see boys in bikinis too, they'd look good on you."
Final Girl by Graveyardguy, Slayyyter - This is a fun song and also a cool pervert song for individuals who enjoy Perpetrator/victim-type roleplays.
Slumber Party (feat. Princess Nokia) by Ashnikko, Princess Nokia - this is yuri joplittle to me.
Boys by CharliXCX - This song is so adorable and fun and cute. You don't even have to be attracted to men to like this song. The workout has ended so you can imagine Ed is laying on the floor with a medicine ball nearby him, all of the anxiety has been wrung out of his body through the help of lifting heavy and listening to gay guy music while fantasizing about dumbification.
cold boy tapes, day 1: crying in the dark (Goodsir)
i made a Goodsir-focused playlist for day 1 of @bell-swamp-fitzjames's playlist event, @cold-boy-tapes! this is inspired by the end of Goodsir's arc in the show — morfin's death, mutiny camp, and deciding his own fate.
Playlist · 10 Songs
playlist icon credit to @normalmammal! tracklist + some lyrics with "liner notes" under the cut •ᴗ•
tracklist (meant to be played in order):
etienne - ethel cain
don't have a strong explanation for this one, but i think it sets the tone for the playlist and what it references. the song is an ode to the architect etienne louis boullée, according to one of ethel cain/hayden anhedönia's old tumblr posts.
wandering star - portishead
i associate this track with the despair and some of the anger Goodsir must have felt during the last two episodes of the show. there's a bitter edge to some of the song, especially the second half, that reminds me of the edge in some of Goodsir's dialogue in the later episodes (i.e. his sarcastic "good" in response to Crozier's request to cut open Irving; the lack of comfort he offers Gibson at mutiny camp, especially in contrast to how he spoke to David Young at the start of the series; his initial refusal at Hickey's orders to butcher Gibson).
please, could you stay awhile to share my grief?
for it's such a lovely day
to have to always feel this way
and the time that i will suffer less
is when i never have to wake
wandering stars, for whom it is reserved
the blackness, the darkness, forever...
the chorus of the song is also a reference to scripture — Jude 1:13, part of a description of the fates of false teachers and ungodly men: "raging waves of the sea, foaming out their own shame; wandering stars, to whom is reserved the blackness of darkness for ever." to me, this connects to Goodsir's implied disagreement with Crozier's insistence in episode 10 that he is clean despite everything, and the feelings of crushing moral failure that he carries with him ("if ever i was a doctor, i am one no longer").
i also really wanted to include this song because a) it's my favorite portishead song, and b) to shout out the fucking amazing edit Cig made to this song last year!
not - big thief
i love the spiraling nature of this song. the lyrics grapple with ineffability, being unable to articulate what's being experienced. dealing with and witnessing things that cannot be explained is connected to Goodsir from the start of the series with the death of David Young, so this felt like a fitting pick.
not to die
not dying
not to laugh
not lying
not the vacant wildness vying
drawn to the blood - sufjan stevens
debated a lot about which sufjan song to include here (guy who cannot resist the urge to put a sufjan stevens song in a sad playlist), but decided to go with this one because of the chorus:
for my prayer has always been love
what did i do to deserve this?
i imagine Goodsir reflecting on the Expedition here, especially after butchering Gibson.
there's also a reference to dragons in the fourth verse, which neatly ties to another song on this album, "no shade in the shadow of the cross" that is featured on my Collins playlist of a similar kind. couldn't resist the tidy connection there.
real house - adrianne lenker
at some point, Goodsir must have yearned for his family back home and thought back to his childhood. that's what i think of with this song.
We moved into a real house
A wild field behind it
I wanted to be an inventor
Collected scraps to make a portal
I wanted so much for magic to be real
younger & dumber - indigo de souza
Goodsir's ability to find wonder and experience curiosity throughout the Expedition is one of the many reasons i love his character. as horrible things keep happening and he's unable to save the people around him, though, i imagine this side of him wavering, and him internally struggling with that — maybe even hating himself a little for being so naïve. i connect bits of this song to that, as well as the exhaustion that he must have felt being constantly in demand to care for others around him, especially after Carnivale.
verse 3 in particular for me connects to the scene in the tent following Morfin's death, where Goodsir is being comforted by Silna.
Sometimes I just don't wanna be alone
And it's not cause I'm lonely
It's just 'cause I get so tired of filling
The space all around me
And the love I feel is so powerful
It can take you anywhere
And the love I feel is so very real
It'll drag you down...
small hands - keaton henson
keaton henson is a Goodsir-coded artist, imo. i picked this song in particular because of these lines:
miss you terribly already,
miss the space between your eyelids
where i'd stare through awkward sentences
and void through awkward silence
and the refrain:
and i,
i hope for your life
you can forget about mine,
forget about mine...
i imagine Goodsir thinking about/speaking to Silna, here. the song references a breakup and lingering feelings about an ex, but with Goodsir and Silna, it feels much bigger than that.
i think of the "awkward sentences/awkward silence" as a nod to them learning how to communicate with each other earlier in the series. the refrain could be Goodsir feeling guilt about the horrible things that have happened since he's/the Expedition's entered Silna's life, and a parting wish that she can forget about him/them, somehow.
of course, Silna couldn't possibly forget the trauma she's endured, but a naïve wish like that feels fitting to Goodsir's character, too.
a burning hill - mitski
my absolute favorite goodsir-focused edit by the amazing @guiildenstern is to this song. the lyrics directly reference Goodsir's final actions in episode 10, expressing his exhaustion and meeting his limit:
today i will wear my white button-down
i'm tired of wanting more
i think i'm finally worn
and how he uses his own death and body as a final act of justice, to poison Hickey and the other mutineers:
i am a forest fire
and i am the fire, and i am the forest
and i am a witness watching it
last words of a shooting star - mitski
this is a companion song to a burning hill here, and mainly references Goodsir's tidy ritual of "washing" and dressing himself before taking his own life.
and i am relieved that i'd left my room tidy
goodbye...
tears in the typing pool - broadcast
broadcast is my favorite band! i decided to close with this (selfishly - everyone go listen to broadcast NOW) mainly because of the ending lyrics:
the page turns on me and you
across that white plain
the land is unchanged.
all the love in the world for Cig for running this event. see y'all for day 2! ˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶
terror playlists, day 1: goodsir is crying in the bathroom.
the link goes to tidal; list of songs below the cut (+ notes)
check out @cold-boy-tapes !!!
this playlist is shuffleable -- the order is less an order and more me just throwing in things from my own liked songs. vibes based with a focus on lyrics i thought goodsir would resonate with - i highlighted the particular lyrics that made me choose the song after each one.
i will - mitski | we're not out of the tunnel, i'll bet you though there's an end
once more to see you - mitski | if i could see you, once more to see you
my love mine all mine - mitski | when it comes to be my turn, could you shine down here for her?
abstract (psychopomp) - hozier | i will not be great, but i'm grateful to get through/the feeling came late, i'm still glad i met you
bridge over troubled water - simon and garfunkel | when darkness comes and pain is all around/like a bridge over troubled water, i will lay me down
i should live in salt - the national | learn to appreciate the void/you should know me better than that
don't talk (put your head on my shoulder) - the beach boys | let's not think about tomorrow
the only thing - sufjan stevens | do i care if i survive this?
this night has opened my eyes - the smiths | and i'm not happy, and i'm not sad
i know its over - the smiths | it takes strength to be gentle and kind
asleep - the smiths | there is a better world/well, there must be
it'll all work out - phoebe bridgers | never goes away, but it all works out
this is a life - son lux, mitski, david byrne | this is a light (many lives that could have been)
For @cold-boy-tapes day one prompt: Workout Inspiration, take Solomon Tozer's playlist! Can confirm it rules while you workout. Listen in order or on shuffle, it's arranged to sound good either way!
Tozer is hands-down that dude you know who kind of has the music taste of your father who was in his 20s in the 90s (nu-metal, tiny bit of rap, and Johnny Cash), but like, in a cool way. Would he love System Of A Down or do I just really love System Of A Down? You decide.
Song list written down under the cut!
Afterlife by Avenged Sevenfold
Jaded by Green Day
Chop Suey! by System Of A Down
Can't Stop by Red Hot Chili Peppers
Fucking Hostile by Pantera
Animal I Have Become by Three Days Grace
Violent Pornography by System Of A Down
Man In The Box by Alice In Chains
Pure Morning by Placebo
Break Stuff by Limp Bizkit
Bounce by System Of A Down
Even Flow by Pearl Jam
Them Bones by Alice In Chains
Serve the Servants by Nirvana
Bulls on Parade by Rage Against The Machine
B.Y.O.B by System Of A Down
Freak On A Leash - Freakin' Bitch Mix by Korn
Superbeast by Rob Zombie
You by Candlebox
Question! by System Of A Down
Rape Me by Nirvana
The Hand That Feeds by Nine Inch Nails
Lapdance by N.E.R.D
The Guns of Brixton by The Clash
Close Your Eyes (And Count To Fuck) by Run The Jewels
Here are just a few terms that might be of interest to some of you.
Before the mast – refers to the sailors’ quarters, which were located in the fore part of the ship (the bow), whilst the officers’ quarters were near the stern. The term can also be used as a synonym for a common sailor.
Clap on – to increase power by adding more rigging or deploying more men. Also: to set more sails.
Deck passage – accommodation for passengers on deck when there was insufficient cabin space. Often used on short voyages.
Hail – a greeting at sea
Handsomely – slowly and carefully; particularly when handling ropes under tension.
Maiden Voyage – the first voyage of a ship that has recently been fitted out and is finally fit for service.
Salt – nickname for a sailor. Also ‘Old Salt’ for a very experienced sailor.
Slew – to turn something around its own axis: to swing a mast round.
Stand by – to be ready
Stave off – to push a boat or floating object away from a jetty or the side of a ship using a pole, a boat hook or a similar tool.
The sailor's word-book, by Smyth, W. H (William Henry), 1788-1865; Belcher, Edward, Sir, 1799-1877
The Visual encyclopedia of nautical terms under sail, by Basil W. Bathe 1978
cold boy tapes, day 1: crying in the dark (Goodsir)
i made a Goodsir-focused playlist for day 1 of @bell-swamp-fitzjames's playlist event, @cold-boy-tapes! this is inspired by the end of Goodsir's arc in the show — morfin's death, mutiny camp, and deciding his own fate.
Playlist · 10 Songs
playlist icon credit to @normalmammal! tracklist + some lyrics with "liner notes" under the cut •ᴗ•
tracklist (meant to be played in order):
etienne - ethel cain
don't have a strong explanation for this one, but i think it sets the tone for the playlist and what it references. the song is an ode to the architect etienne louis boullée, according to one of ethel cain/hayden anhedönia's old tumblr posts.
wandering star - portishead
i associate this track with the despair and some of the anger Goodsir must have felt during the last two episodes of the show. there's a bitter edge to some of the song, especially the second half, that reminds me of the edge in some of Goodsir's dialogue in the later episodes (i.e. his sarcastic "good" in response to Crozier's request to cut open Irving; the lack of comfort he offers Gibson at mutiny camp, especially in contrast to how he spoke to David Young at the start of the series; his initial refusal at Hickey's orders to butcher Gibson).
please, could you stay awhile to share my grief?
for it's such a lovely day
to have to always feel this way
and the time that i will suffer less
is when i never have to wake
wandering stars, for whom it is reserved
the blackness, the darkness, forever...
the chorus of the song is also a reference to scripture — Jude 1:13, part of a description of the fates of false teachers and ungodly men: "raging waves of the sea, foaming out their own shame; wandering stars, to whom is reserved the blackness of darkness for ever." to me, this connects to Goodsir's implied disagreement with Crozier's insistence in episode 10 that he is clean despite everything, and the feelings of crushing moral failure that he carries with him ("if ever i was a doctor, i am one no longer").
i also really wanted to include this song because a) it's my favorite portishead song, and b) to shout out the fucking amazing edit Cig made to this song last year!
not - big thief
i love the spiraling nature of this song. the lyrics grapple with ineffability, being unable to articulate what's being experienced. dealing with and witnessing things that cannot be explained is connected to Goodsir from the start of the series with the death of David Young, so this felt like a fitting pick.
not to die
not dying
not to laugh
not lying
not the vacant wildness vying
drawn to the blood - sufjan stevens
debated a lot about which sufjan song to include here (guy who cannot resist the urge to put a sufjan stevens song in a sad playlist), but decided to go with this one because of the chorus:
for my prayer has always been love
what did i do to deserve this?
i imagine Goodsir reflecting on the Expedition here, especially after butchering Gibson.
there's also a reference to dragons in the fourth verse, which neatly ties to another song on this album, "no shade in the shadow of the cross" that is featured on my Collins playlist of a similar kind. couldn't resist the tidy connection there.
real house - adrianne lenker
at some point, Goodsir must have yearned for his family back home and thought back to his childhood. that's what i think of with this song.
We moved into a real house
A wild field behind it
I wanted to be an inventor
Collected scraps to make a portal
I wanted so much for magic to be real
younger & dumber - indigo de souza
Goodsir's ability to find wonder and experience curiosity throughout the Expedition is one of the many reasons i love his character. as horrible things keep happening and he's unable to save the people around him, though, i imagine this side of him wavering, and him internally struggling with that — maybe even hating himself a little for being so naïve. i connect bits of this song to that, as well as the exhaustion that he must have felt being constantly in demand to care for others around him, especially after Carnivale.
verse 3 in particular for me connects to the scene in the tent following Morfin's death, where Goodsir is being comforted by Silna.
Sometimes I just don't wanna be alone
And it's not cause I'm lonely
It's just 'cause I get so tired of filling
The space all around me
And the love I feel is so powerful
It can take you anywhere
And the love I feel is so very real
It'll drag you down...
small hands - keaton henson
keaton henson is a Goodsir-coded artist, imo. i picked this song in particular because of these lines:
miss you terribly already,
miss the space between your eyelids
where i'd stare through awkward sentences
and void through awkward silence
and the refrain:
and i,
i hope for your life
you can forget about mine,
forget about mine...
i imagine Goodsir thinking about/speaking to Silna, here. the song references a breakup and lingering feelings about an ex, but with Goodsir and Silna, it feels much bigger than that.
i think of the "awkward sentences/awkward silence" as a nod to them learning how to communicate with each other earlier in the series. the refrain could be Goodsir feeling guilt about the horrible things that have happened since he's/the Expedition's entered Silna's life, and a parting wish that she can forget about him/them, somehow.
of course, Silna couldn't possibly forget the trauma she's endured, but a naïve wish like that feels fitting to Goodsir's character, too.
a burning hill - mitski
my absolute favorite goodsir-focused edit by the amazing @guiildenstern is to this song. the lyrics directly reference Goodsir's final actions in episode 10, expressing his exhaustion and meeting his limit:
today i will wear my white button-down
i'm tired of wanting more
i think i'm finally worn
and how he uses his own death and body as a final act of justice, to poison Hickey and the other mutineers:
i am a forest fire
and i am the fire, and i am the forest
and i am a witness watching it
last words of a shooting star - mitski
this is a companion song to a burning hill here, and mainly references Goodsir's tidy ritual of "washing" and dressing himself before taking his own life.
and i am relieved that i'd left my room tidy
goodbye...
tears in the typing pool - broadcast
broadcast is my favorite band! i decided to close with this (selfishly - everyone go listen to broadcast NOW) mainly because of the ending lyrics:
the page turns on me and you
across that white plain
the land is unchanged.
all the love in the world for Cig for running this event. see y'all for day 2! ˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶
(person who suspects they have ocd voice): what if every time i think something is an ocd symptom im actually faking it and stereotyping and ruining the lives of people with real ocd and im a terrible person
