ok but Goldfish arent that good

the crackers you heathens, I don't eat actual goldfish

[okbutgoldfisharentthatgood]

50 posts!

Why didn't I get this for literally any of my other accounts

[okbutgoldfisharentthatgood]

Posting often is for the weak

[okbutgoldfisharentthatgood]

It's the day after April fools day so you know what that means!

Checking the date on posts for the next 6 months and realising they were made as a joke

[okbutgoldfisharentthatgood]

Any bones I have do not belong to me

[okbutgoldfisharentthatgood]

If you hear scuttling in your walls mind your damn business

[okbutgoldfisharentthatgood]

Getting real for a second because one of my friends now follows the account that I usually do this on, no you can't have it, anyway-

My mother said recently that I've handled being diagnosed with a chronic disease "with grace" and I don't know how to tell her that the reality of the situation either hasn't hit me yet or I'm repressing my emotions. I can't tell.

[okbutgoldfisharentthatgood]

Some say that God fears his creations, but there are some things that he's never conceved out there, that's what he should fear the most

[okbutgoldfisharentthatgood]

Wanna drive through Ohio just to feel something

[okbutgoldfisharentthatgood]

Ok yall are saying something about Texas or something but I'd rather die than have to go through another version of Satan's ass crack

[okbutgoldfisharentthatgood]

Me: *straining pasta* god is real and he's scared of his creations.

My parents, positive that I'm probably possessed and used to it: ok sweetie, how much food would you like

[okbutgoldfisharentthatgood]

Wanna drive through Ohio just to feel something

[okbutgoldfisharentthatgood]

Hot and sexy tip: going into the corn maze is fine, but whatever you do, don't get lost :)

[okbutgoldfisharentthatgood]

Oh bother

*trips over rock and falls off of cliff*

[okbutgoldfisharentthatgood]

*phases back into existence* no you have to ask if I ask she'll say no

[okbutgoldfisharentthatgood]

Yall ever just say fuck it and put on fishnets but it's just

*toe gets stuck* *toe gets stuck* *toe gets stuck* *toe gets stuck* *toe gets stuck* *toe gets stuck* *toe gets stuck* ok one leg in

[okbutgoldfisharentthatgood]

This is my favourite post and I am extremely disappointed in you all for not liking it

[okbutgoldfisharentthatgood]

Yall ever just say fuck it and put on fishnets but it's just

*toe gets stuck* *toe gets stuck* *toe gets stuck* *toe gets stuck* *toe gets stuck* *toe gets stuck* *toe gets stuck* ok one leg in

[okbutgoldfisharentthatgood]

I secretly wear oversized clothes not because they're comfy, but because my friends are insecure about their size and I like seeing them get happy when they realize that they can fit into my clothes

[okbutgoldfisharentthatgood]

I am one miss-click away from running away from civilisation and living in the woods as a moss gremlin