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Millennial late night chats be like

#making ends meet #millennials #why tho #gotta catch em all

Found on Facebook

Broflake Sugar Cookies

Create a flurry of annoying comments about “Straight Pride” and “White History Month” with these sugar cookies.

This is the easiest recipe I have done so far. Far easier than trying to teach an old broflake to empathize. As always, I have modified the original recipe. You can find it the original recipe in the comments.

Preheat to 400 F whenever.

You need:

3/4 cup unsalted butter, softened

1 cup white sugar

2 eggs

1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract

2 1/2 cups all-purpose flour

1 teaspoon baking powder

1/2 teaspoon salt

Cream together the butter and sugar with electric mixer until smooth like your one-liner about “gender quality” not being any different than “feminism.” Beat in the eggs and vanilla. Stir in the flour, baking powder, and salt. Lay out a wrap of some kind (cling wrap, wax paper) and then make a log of cookie dough. Cover with the wrap completely and chill for one hour. For best results, chill overnight (or in the case of being a brokflake, you can chill forever because ain’t nobody time to explain life to you.)

Take off the wrap after the chill out period. Slice thinly and bake on an ungreased cookie sheet 6-8 minutes. Yields about a dozen cookies.

I thought I messed this up early by skipping ahead to putting the flour in with the butter and sugar. Nevertheless, I didn’t f*ck it up. Decorating is my real challenge. I made a broflake stencil out of aluminum foil and dumped powdered sugar on top. Apparently, I needed to sieve the sugar.

The moral of this story is I will try again soon! And never forget, burn the patriarchy, not the cookies.

#sugar cookies #broflake #snowflakes #feminism #baking

The world may not revolve around my ass, but my wardrobe does.

#bigbutts

gonebynow

I have this planner with these absolutely ridiculous pages with like “motivational” quotes on them that are just these bullshit things like “Let your heart sing” and “Always believe in your dreams”

and like that’s always struck me as such meaningless bullshit, I’ve always hated those. They’ve never had that element that truly motivates me.

So, I took matters into my own hands and I made my own artsy motivational wallpapers. Enjoy.

mias-back-from-the-dead

have i seriously lived long enough to experience the resurgence of demotivational posters’s natural evolution into shitposting motivationals

Saw Faith Furniture downtown with a sign that reads "NEW" MATTRESS-- what is it? Born again? I don't care how long you prayed over it, that mattress is still suspect.

#southernsass