Maturity Is Overrated

hello I'm Mia and I'm from Canada. eh. She/They, 30. Aro-demi for the most part

[sometiktoksarevalid]

[sunderedstar]

[laropasucia]

[somethingusefulfromflorida]

The pyromancer always wins

[5weekdays]

my doctor told me i have to do PT this fucking sucks

[5weekdays]

these exercises are sooo monotonous like i keep walking down the same hallway over and over 🙄

[5weekdays]

who was that.

[5weekdays]

the fucking fetus in the sink won't accept my insurance

[carpe-aurore]

Mutuals, send your best tips to handle an overwhelming sense of doom

[sandinthepipes]

Imagine being a normal regular normal eridian scientist. And one day rocky saviour of erid, freak of a rock but still saviour so I guess it's ok, comes to you and asks you to find a way to make a better xenotite suit, one that's skintight and soft so that one would be able to feel touch through it, and stretchy too especially in the abdominal opening. And you start to cold sweat because what the fuck. And then rocky saviour of erid say it's for fucking the alien grace. What the fuck. And then Adrian, sweet clever composed respectable citizen, mate of rocky asks for one suit as well.

[emmacandle]

i jerk off till my penis scrweam

[taydivorce]

*scrolling tumblr* hmmm. i agree with the sentiment of this post, but the phrasing feels off to me. it doesn’t really have that Reblog factor, you know? *scrolls* oh good, a post that just says “i jerk off till my penis scrweam” . i better reblog this

[winonaparadise]

i see a curved penis and i want to fix that shit. it's not that it's gross i just bet an hour in a bench vice would make that shit shoot straight. i wanna comically spin the handle and wrench it tight with the skill of a shop teacher that's been doing this for years. safety goggles on. heavy duty gloves. op! be careful of the clenching back there. that's how Ms. Paradise lost a pinky in college.

[winonaparadise]

I suppose this exposes my ignorance and inexperience. I suggest we normalize the use of the penis vice so that we can curve and straighten cocks to our own unique tastes. They can be 3D printed with an aposable skeleton so that they can be curved. I have included a mockup down below.

[transhumanisticpanspermia]

op i regret to inform you that the curve is so inherent that it persists even when you flip it inside out, turn it into a vagina, and stick a ramrod straight dilator into it for 30 minutes 4 times per day for several months.

(they don't usually give you an MRI 4 months after bottom surgery, i just happened to need one for unrelated reasons)

[winonaparadise]

girl why is your pussy trying to take me on the road less traveled. fucking that thing i hear google maps say "exit left." trying to hit your spot but your pussy said that's not part of the guided tour. your shit is so twisted the people's joker took it to her doctor saying "like this please." I KNOW she WILL be comin around the mountain when she comes! i always wanted a girl who turned heads, but this is ridiculous!!!

[fliesinthescreen]

mom called me a fag yesterday by accident

[fliesinthescreen]

she was going to call me a bitch (playful) and i saw her gears turning like no but he's trans i need to call him the male equivalent. and then say fag and look so so surprised at the word that came out of her own mouth. it was like watching someone fail a disco elysium skill check irl

[fliesinthescreen]

AUTHORITY - One of your sons is being annoying to the other. Make it clear that you think this is unfair.

YOU - "Stop being a b--"

REACTION SPEED [Challenging: Success] - Wait a minute.

DRAMA - Sire, the word you're about to use is historically feminine! Applying it to your transgender child is tantamount to misgendering him.

1. [Suggestion - Legendary 14] Think of a masculine equivalent to "bitch."

[tiktoks-i-enjoyed]

[hylasregilla]

Huge fan of these DIY IR goggles which appear to be made of a smart phone duct-taped to a pair of safety goggles and zip-tied to multiple straps.

[teaboot]

Clearly the engineering prowess of a scientist used to working with a USAmerican public school budget

[punished-venom-solitair-e]

everyone post your biggest hear me outs my friend just showed me two conventionally attractive white men in a row i need to teach him what a real hear me out is

[gardenofeden5457]

.world's largest excavator- nay, world's largest vehicle- the bagger 288

.also, scale reference! just the wheel is 70 feet in diameter

[halondrus]

[cutecipher]

can you put that thing on a leash?

[halondrus]

ok

[tapacamino]

This website: "It says a lot about a person if they write or make art about dark, horrific things. It says what they're like in real life. Hiding in plain sight."

Junji Ito:

[gertritude-art]

misc. project hail mary doodles

[wolfythewitch]

On my tenth cup of coffee getting dead wife flashbacks that never happened

[qin-shi-huang-di]

blocked blocked blocked blocked!

none of you possesses the mandate of heaven!

[king-sejong-the-great]

Blocks. . . as in BRONZE blocks!?

As in BLOCKS of moveable type!?

Brilliant! Such a technology would allow books to be reproduced en masse, without the need for laboriously reproducing books by hand! This would greatly increase the number of copies of books that we could create, as well as greatly reduce the incidence of copying errors!

OH! And if my new alphabetic syllabary takes off, then instead of hundreds of blocks for different ideograms, a case of printing blocks could include dozens of copies of each letter, thus allowing for more rapid deployment and a much more efficient storage of the printing blocks!

This could lead to a literacy revolution! We could mass produce texts for the common people! Everyone, not just the elite scholars, could study the works of the great Confucianist masters, thus increasing loyalty, filial piety, and virtuous behavior!

Brilliant!

[qin-shi-huang-di]

DELETE YOUR BLOG

[king-sejong-the-great]

Of course! Anything for the illustrious First Emperor of the Middle Kingdoms!

[king-sejong-the-great]

Update: I have consulted the court historians, and they have told me that it is not possible for me to delete official government records, and that my request to do so will be added to the sillok.

[qin-shi-huang-di]

ABDICATE!!!!

[qin-shi-huang-di]

FIRST KILL ALL THE COURT HISTORIANS AND THEN FUCKING ABDICATE

[qin-shi-huang-di]

AND FOR YOUR INFORMATION I AM NOT THE FIRS T EMPEROR OF THE '"MIDDLE KINGDOMS"" I AM THE FIRST EMPEROR PREIOD!!!!!!!!!!!!! I AM THE GLORIOUS PROGENITOR THE FIRST OF THE FIRST A GOD AMONGST MEN I INVENTED THE FUCKING JOB THERE IS NONE BEFORE ME AND NONE WHO CAN MATCH ME I AM HEAVEN'S SPEACIAL BOY!!!!!!!!!!

[king-sejong-the-great]

Oh dear! I have addressed the First Emperor by an improper title! Such shame! Such an embarrassing gaffe! I shall ask the royal scholars to make the subject of my next royal lecture the proper forms of address in the Qin courts.

As for the other matter, I shall consult with the Jip Hanjeon for their advice in this matter.

[king-sejong-the-great]

After consulting with the great minds of my kingdom, it has been decided that committing mass murder of the court historians and fleeing the castle is not in line with the teachings of Confucius, and does not adhere to the concepts of benevolent governance.

[192929020202020]

[snailkites]

Crested Caracara being allopreened by two Black Vultures! This is such an interesting behavior and one that's typically one-way (preening by vultures to caracara). Here you can see the caracara either attempting to reciprocate but getting rebuffed by both vultures, or telling them to stop for now.

[Video source]

[teaboot]

Black Vulture couple locate Crested Caracara bisexual unicorn across the bar in a rare W for all parties