Olympian Madness

[mytholympus]

Ares, throwing his controller: Dammit I lost again!

Hebe:

Hebe: Do you want me to leave the room so you can say bad words?

Ares:

Ares: Yes, please.

[incorrectloreolympusquotes]

Hades: it's okay, it's just a crush -

Persephone: hi

Hades: IM IN LOVE WITH YOU ALRIGHT-

[incorrectloreolympusquotes]

Hades: Are you stupid?

Zeus: No why?

Hades: Because there's an 'U' in stupid

Zeus: There's also an 'I' in stupid

Hades:

Zeus: Wait -

[olympiansoncrack]

Father’s Day Again?

Hestia: Guess what day it is?!

Ares: International Refrigerator Day!

Hestia: What!? That’s not even a thing! Must we go through this every year? It’s Father’s Day.

Ares: I feel like refrigerators deserve more love and respect than Zeus.

Apollo: He’s not wrong, they keep your food nice and cold.

Hermes: Yeah, and Zeus is just cold hearted.

Zeus: I see once again I should just leave.

Hestia: I give up.

Hermes: Yay! Happy International Refrigerator Day!

[mytholympus]

Ares: Dads are always like “go help your mother” bro go help your wife

[mytholympus]

Ares: I prevented a murder today.

Hera: How??

Ares: Self control.

[mytholympus]

Eros: Ma, I need dating advice.

Aphrodite: Okay, what’s up?

Eros: So, there’s this girl-

Aphrodite: You can do better.

[olympiansoncrack]

Mad?

Apollo: What do you do if your significant other is mad at you?

Ares: I move Aphrodite’s stuff into areas where she has to ask me for help to get them back.

Apollo: Hmmm....

Ares: If that doesn’t work, I open all the cabinets.

Athena: Barbaric.

Ares: Then when I’m done being petty I treat her like the queen I should have, to make her happy again.

Apollo: See this is why I ship them.

Aphrodite *from a distance*: WHY ARE ALL THE CABINETS OPEN!

Ares: I haven’t finished the petty step of the plan yet.

Athena: ....of course you haven’t

[mytholympus]

Hebe: Can I keep the nightlight on?

Ares: And provide the demons with a beacon to your location?! You know better. Good night

Hera, from the other room: Ares!

[mytholympus]

Persephone walking into a room with kiss marks everywhere: You should’ve seen the other guy.

[thanatoastie]

Zeus: so, how was Ares' babysitter?

Hera: she quit

Zeus: oh, that's a shame, why?

Hera: APPARENTLY, you never told her that we are gods and our child has super strength, so our 3 month old lifted a table and it traumatized her.

Zeus: ... Oops

[mytholympus]

Dionysus: I need some relationship advice-

Hades, putting his hands up: Hey, just because I’m married to Persephone doesn’t mean I know how I did it

[olympiansoncrack]

Dr. Ares

Ares: If anything hurts just cut it off.

Athena: What if you have a headache?

Ares: Chop your head off.

Apollo: But if they’re human they’ll die.

Ares: Look, if you want to get better you have to suffer.

Athena: That’s not the point of medicine....

Ares: Athena is hurting me with her interference, I’m getting my axe to chop her.

Athena: Wait...what?

[mytholympus]

*Ares and Hephaestus arguing*

Zeus: I didn’t raise you guys to embarrass me like this

Ares: You didn’t raise us

Zeus: That’s what I just said

[mytholympus]

Hades: Helpful grammar tip, farther is for physical distance, further is for metaphorical distance and father is for emotional distance.

Dionysus: Who hurt you?

Hades: My father, weren’t you paying attention?

[mytholympus]

Zeus: How many times do I have to apologize?

Hera: Once!

Zeus:

Hera:

Zeus: No.

[mytholympus]

Persephone: Honey, are you drinking right now? It’s 7AM

Dionysus: It’s okay! This is just tea

Hades, listening in: What kind of tea?

Dionysus: Tea...quila

*Persephone elbows Hades, who is trying to stifle a laugh*