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Why Are Field Hockey Sticks So Short?

Why Are Field Hockey Sticks So Short?

My wife and I were in a restaurant bar enjoying some Italian food when Olympic field hockey came on the television. I love sports, but I have to admit that I’ve never watched field hockey. To be fair to myself, I’ll also add that I don’t often have the opportunity to watch field hockey in person or on television. Because I was engrossed in talking with my wife and eating a plate of gnocchi, I…

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It's Peyton On Sunday Morning

It’s Peyton On Sunday Morning

The approach of fall and the football season is cause for great joy in my house. There is a game on our television from Thursday night until the end of Monday Night Football. There’s so much potential at the beginning of the season; so many unanswered questions. Will my Carolina Panthers make the Super Bowl and crap the bed again? Can Robert Griffin III bring my wife’s Cleveland Browns to the…

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Cubs Win! Cubs Win!

The cat watches some late night tv and influences my dreams.

There were no stockings hung by the chimney with care. My wife wasn’t wearing a kerchief, nor I a cap. A creature was stirring. Those negative comparisons are as close as this will come to The Night Before Christmas. I was sleeping well, dreaming as a matter of fact. Dreaming of baseball. I was on the field, in uniform, playing third base. It wasn’t young me doing it; the dream kept me at…

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I Won't Be Competing In The 2016 Summer Olympics

I Won’t Be Competing In The 2016 Summer Olympics

As the summer has progressed, I have avoided answering the question so many of you have posed. I did this, not to build suspense, but to find the best answer for all concerned. So now I find myself at a critical decision point. Though my announcement is rather late, I want you to know that it was not made quickly or without much soul searching. See you in 2018 (image public domain) Because of my…

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I Know A Disturbing Amount About Pokemon.

I Know A Disturbing Amount About Pokemon.

A few days ago, my wife and I were in the car, talking about people who were playing the new Pokemon Go game. She made the point that she really doesn’t know much about Pokemon and so she really couldn’t understand why people were getting into car accidents and walking off of cliffs to find them. Bulbasaur, Pikachu, Squirtle and Charmander. Yes, I knew that off the top of my head. (image via…

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Budweiser Renames Itself America. Sure, No Problem

Budweiser Renames Itself America. Sure, No Problem

So today brings the news that Budweiser beer will re-brand itself for the summer. Until the 2016 Presidential Election (also re-branded as “The Tournament Of The Lesser Of Two Evils”) the marketing folks behind that beer would like you to call Budweiser “America”. Good idea, right? Nah. Look we all have our product preferences. Some people enjoy Budweiser, errr, America beer. Others don’t. We can…

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Sarcasm Is Lost On A Cat

Sarcasm Is Lost On A Cat

We all do things we come to regret. And in those moments of regret come moments of self-reflection. Questions like “why did I do that?” help us learn and grow. I’m not here to enlighten you with something I learned in one of those moments. I just needed a way to get in to my topic. In the middle of the night, I woke up thirsty. I staggered into the kitchen for some water. Boog, seemingly unfazed…

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Pencil Thin Unibrow

Today, while I was running errands I saw a woman. Not just any woman.She lacked eyebrows. I’m pretty certain that there wasn’t a medical reason for her having a naked brow. No, this was self-inflicted. As we walked toward each other, I crossed to the other side of the street. My car being on that side of the road was there was only part of the reason I crossed. Mostly, it was because she…

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Yo No Soy Marinero

Yo No Soy Marinero

Since my hearing impairment was diagnosed, I often ask myself two questions: Was that person talking to me? What did they say?   I just needed poblanos. (image purejadkid CCbySA3.0) So, when a woman started talking to me yesterday at the grocery, I started with those familiar queries. I was grabbing a cart and heard a woman’s voice behind me call out “hello!” It’s kind of rare for me to run into…

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So, Anyhow...

So, anyhow...I'm doing another blog.

It’s been quiet here on Blurt, and I’m sure that it looks like I’ve stopped writing. Nope. Yeah, it’s gotten a little tougher to get words on paper. I’m certain that’ll pass. Keep watching this space and you’ll see. But while we’re waiting for that to happen, I had an idea for a new site and started it up. My new blog is called The Seventeenth Syllable Blog. The Seventeenth Syllable is a haiku…

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Haiku For Haiku, In Haiku

Haiku For Haiku, In Haiku

My rough draft. (image public domain) A few months ago, I discovered that there is a town in Hawaii named Haiku. I can’t claim that I discovered the town. I’m pretty sure that the people who live there were aware it was there long before I figured it out. But learning that the town exists inspired me to write a haiku for Haiku. That little writing exercise got me to thinking about becoming the…

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Alligator Lizards In The Air

Alligator Lizards In The Air

One of the great joys of retiring at my age is that my wife and I can travel. We go on a lot of adventures, enough that the shuttle bus drivers at the airport greet us by name. Last year on one of our trips, I saw the Pacific Ocean for the first time. At the end of this week, we’ll see it again, and then fly over a lot of it to Hawaii. There are a lot of things we’re looking forward to from our…

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Superman VS Batman. Why Are They Fighting??

Superman VS Batman. Why Are They Fighting??

Ads for the film Superman Vs Batman were prominently featured during the NFL playoff games. But the promotions and the premise of the film have left many with one huge question – Why are Superman and Batman fighting? I did some investigation, including speaking with both superheroes, to get to the bottom of things. It was sad to learn that this feud has been going on for longer than most of us…

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"We Raised An Idiot"

“We Raised An Idiot”

I woke up to the news that a University of Virginia student, Otto Warmbier, was detained by the North Korean government as he was leaving that nation after a visit. The North Koreans said he’d entered the country with “the intention of destroying the country’s unity” What about this says “Welcome!”? (image via USMA Archive CCbySA2.0) Now, I’m sure that our government is doing everything it can to…

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Colonoscopy Prep - The Live Blog

Colonoscopy Prep – The Live Blog

Tomorrow, I’m having a colonoscopy.  I imagine at this point you’re asking yourself “who schedules something like that for New Years Eve?” Look, like a lot of stuff that I do, this seemed smart at one time. I can’t remember what seemed smart about this idea.  Anyhow, since I’ve been on a little writing break over the holidays, I thought “why not write about what’s happening today?” I invite you…

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Try Not To Be An Ass

Try Not To Be An Ass

Several years ago, some scientists called Pluto with some bad news. “You’ve been great and all, but we’ve decided that you’re not a planet any more”, they said. Pluto was rightfully shocked. There had been rumors that one of the planets was getting demoted. The consensus was that Uranus, the most inappropriate of all the planets, was getting pink-slipped. Stop by Mianus some time. (image via…

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Share A Diet Coke With A Polar Bear?

Share A Diet Coke With A Polar Bear?

Yesterday, I went to my favorite Chinese restaurant. That’s not so unusual. I am, after all, my parents’ only Asian son. But it was an unusual restaurant visit in that I didn’t get to eat. I got to the restaurant shortly after opening and was shown to a seat. The owner came by, took my order and left. A few minutes later, the waitress came to my table and told me they couldn’t make any food…

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