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lost my best friend

no confidence in me

The summer started as always; trying to get my marks up and finishing some late shifts at work. Inspired from the confidence my coworkers gave me, I made some personal resolve to go all out and make some flyers and eventually leave my current position. May arrived and we had a list of fights about how I haven't worked. How I was always at home with nothing to do. But I did make an effort to do it. I just asked for a little time for my first opportunity. I did it, including 3 other jobs and still future opportunities. But still, it seems like all my efforts were futile. I’m still someone that didn't try. I’m someone that isn't enough. and the time with me just isn’t cutting it.

Now it seems like I have no other options. More indications are appearing at every opportunity that I should go. It feels like I can only ever wake up and see you and live with you. But its finally dawning on me how much more important it is to me than to you. It sad to really think about it. All the times from the break of the first light when we almost split up on on McNeilly years ago to when I was hiding up in the train track posts. All those times I thought you were as special as someone could ever be. I think I’m still right about that. Its just not reciprocated.

You’ve learned to be okay with me being away. And I unfortunately haven't. It’s time that I start to learn as well.

#2.4 years

emdawg18

I just want to be someone’s first choice for once in my life damnit

definitely don't feel much compassion other people anymore. maybe i have turned pessimistic

coloradoqueen

Don't fight about money in front of your kids.

They will feel guilty like it’s their fault and not ask for necessities when they run out.

Don’t fucking do it.

apocalyptic-assassin-deactivate

Don’t use money AGAINST your kids either. Don’t EVER tell them money is tight when it’s not, and they KNOW it’s not. That’s another way for them to not trust you or to feel guilty when asking for anything.

skyscribbles-deactivated2017060

Also don’t use money as a guilt tactic for them not doing something or not agreeing with you.

“I buy your food and your clothes and this and that and this is how you repay me?”

They didn't ask to be born, you made the choice to have a child and take care of them as a responsible parent. Don’t throw that guilt on them and make them feel like shit over what they couldn’t control.

maybe if you mentioned why you'd go downstairs instead of just telling me, I'm just going downstairs. i would've let you study. but instead you just yell at me asking for time to study. am i really inconsiderate? you were watching videos the whole time upstairs too, but all of a sudden you can get mad at me like that again? c h i l l

wo

thought we talked about things but wayyy to make me look stupid