idk why i’m saying all this i just feel like this is the only place where i can say things without feeling like a dumb bitch for it...it feels better to organize my thoughts and write them down so i can finally let go of them. i’m just drowning in all of these negative feelings but i keep it to myself cause i feel ashamed of being sad. i don’t wanna put my insecurities on other people or make my problems public. all my loved ones have their own issues and i don’t want to burden them. i just always have this fear that no one will be there for me the way i am for other people, which is probably not true and i support my friends because i love them and not for something in return. but that fear literally eats me alive lol. i wanna open up and i don’t think it’s wrong to crave security and acknowledgement, it just makes me feel guilty to burden others. but bottling everything up is SO incredibly lonely. it makes me feel disconnected from everyone in my life. i’m not really sure how to fix it either. ultimately i guess you have to confront your negativity head on or it will consume you......thanks for coming to my ted talk
