⚛️

⚛️

[one-little-comet]

2018 tarot review: boxing day returns.

everything is for and from angelorum’s 2018 tarot review e-book (found here).

day twenty-six, boxing day returns. challenge: think about something you really hate about 2018. it has to be something that is within your control to change … what is it? pull a card for the power you have to change this thing. pull another card for what you need to do next to make sure that there is none of this in 2019.

my power to change this queen of cups

2018, overall, felt negative; i’ve never said that about an entire year before. i think what i hated the most was the constant feeling that i was battling myself; things always worked out in the end, but it always felt like i was walking upstream. until i decided on change in november, then it’s been immense inner peace; there is still tumultuous feelings, but they are me dealing with the harsh lessons of introspection. my power to change things lies in a future of self-love, compassion, care, and deep intuition. i can’t fight myself if i know myself.

what i need to do to change it ten of swords (reversed)

as has been repeated ad nauseam in my entire 2018 review, every key to my higher self in the future is to release and renew. my comfort zone is tempting, but it’s not aiding me any longer. i must say goodbye to my resisting ways of 2018 and welcome in 2019 with an open heart and mind.

[one-little-comet]

2018 tarot review: christmas future.

everything is for and from angelorum’s 2018 tarot review e-book (found here).

day twenty-five, christmas future. challenge: what do you want christmas 2019 to be like? can you picture yourself a year from now. think about one thing you will want to have achieved by then and pull a card for the outcome. the next card is for a message from the ghost of christmas future about what things might be like in general around christmas time next year.

how it’s likely to turn out the empress (reversed)

right now, i am generally unable to see or imagine what next christmas will bring. the end of this year has brought such dramatic changes to everything, including attitude and thought process, that i teeter on the edge of outcomes. i want to make self-care such a priority next year, but i must not forget what i’ve learned from this year and past christmases.

message from ghost of christmas future the fool

the fool is both my temptation and goal for christmastime next year. i strive to be a free spirit in every way, but i must find a balance between my inner empress and my inner fool. christmas is a time of happiness and fun, not a time to be turned off by the supposed pressures of gift-buying and family gatherings. strive to do all of it with love.

[one-little-comet]

2018 tarot review: christmas present.

everything is for and from angelorum’s 2018 tarot review e-book (found here).

day twenty-four, christmas present. challenge: how do you really feel about the holiday celebrations? pull one card for the pros about celebrating christmas this year and one for the cons.

pros about christmas present ace of swords

my major pro was that, for what felt like the first time, i was able to afford presents for my close family and friends. it wasn’t really the first time i could have, though, i had just been selfishly prioritising my funds on other things. the ace of wands in my “christmas past” reading represented how i realised that christmas is made in the hands of adults, while, as kids, we merely receive it; this honour was in my hands now, and i wasn’t accepting it. the ace of swords is my putting it into action this year; by getting to give and provide glee, i finally felt the spirit of the holiday again.

cons about christmas present five of swords

i struggled with this (and still am), but i’m seeing it as a warning of leaning too far into self-interest, even with christmas, and even with giving. just a small nudge to always be real with myself about my and others’ motivations, and to not forget it even when caught up in the holidays. i didn’t feel cons for christmas this year, so i don’t think this was a yell, just a reminder.

[one-little-comet]

2018 tarot review: christmas past.

everything is for and from angelorum’s 2018 tarot review e-book (found here).

day twenty-three, christmas past. challenge: think about all the memories of christmas past that are triggered now and pick one such memory. pull a card for what you can learn from it. pull another card for how this memory has shaped your current expectations of christmas.

what i can learn from christmas past nine of cups (reversed)

when that inevitable feeling of becoming an adult set in and christmas began to lose its childlike magic, i chalked it up to my being a miser. every year, i escape into the decorations and songs and merriment, but it’s like i prefer the season of christmas and the meaning i get from it over the actual day. i think this was due to a scubconscious selfish part of me that missed the glee of receiving gifts, and that christmas is aimed at children; it just wasn’t the same.

how this memory shaped expectations ace of wands

it forced me to grow up. i needed to realise that there is still heaps of joy in christmas as an adult, and just need to make it ourselves instead of relying on someone else to hand it to us. i approach this a little further in the next reading.

[one-little-comet]

2018 tarot review: emotional freedom.

everything is for and from angelorum’s 2018 tarot review e-book (found here).

day twenty-two, emotional freedom. challenge: contemplate how free you feel to express yourself and follow your dreams. pull a card to reflect how free you actually are (as evidenced by walking your talk). pull another card for something that could shut you down in 2019 unless you stay conscious and aware.

how free i am queen of pentacles

i am not the “mom” friend, i’m more like the weird aunt who will cheer you up with booze and shitty horror movies, but my self-identity is deeply tied to only expressing positivity and striving to be uplifting. sometimes this conflicts with my cold logical side which is what i use to navigate life, but, then, around others, i instead say nothing. i am a naturally optimistic, positive person, but i’ve somehow trained myself to never show sadness or anger around other people. yet i encourage emotional release. i do not feel emotionally free, and this is one of the prime reasons i started this quest and joined this group.

what to watch out for judgement (reversed)

ah, the good ol’ “self-doubt” warning card again. this is already what shuts me down, and i’m done with it. i tell others that we’re all only human and are allowed to be expressive, and i must take my own advice. my resolution last year was to allow vulnerability, but i fell away at the first sign of someone not caring or what my mind would tell me was a bad response. no more.

[one-little-comet]

2018 tarot review: celebrations.

everything is for and from angelorum’s 2018 tarot review e-book (found here).

day twenty-one, celebrations. challenge: think about what you feel is worth celebrating today and contemplate how your effort in the past year took you to this point worthy of celebration. pull one card for how to celebrate. the second card is for something you should be celebrating but haven’t yet consider worthy of celebration.

how to celebrate four of cups with: eight of cups

i am celebrating, after almost 33 years now, finally checking into myself ... while also checking myself at the same time, before i lose myself. i am celebrating the declaration i said in november for “no more,” and acting on it. the four of cups points out the disconnect i had for so long, emotionally and spiritually, and the eight of cups jumps in to emphasise moving away from it. four is a karmic debt, eight is the karmic duty of aid. knowing thyself to help thyself.

something else to celebrate the magician (reversed)

i can celebrate, but not lose my head. 2019 is going to hone a lot of potential to celebrate, although it’s going to be up to me to reach it. i’m almost there; the magician reversed is like jumping to reach a height and just missing it. that was 2018. it’s time now to step back and jump again, and make it count.

[one-little-comet]

2018 tarot review: your calling.

everything is for and from angelorum’s 2018 tarot review e-book (found here).

day twenty, your calling. challenge: contemplate how well aligned you were with your soul’s calling in the past year. pull a card to reflect this. pull another card for how to better align with your calling in 2019.

alignment with calling daughter of cups (reversed)

i had suspected that the daughter of cups in this deck represented me in my readings, then my aunt recently confirmed it. she was going through it and lifted it up and asked me “this is you, isn’t it?” so this appearance is blatant to me. i was not going in the direction of my calling; i may have made steps, but nothing substantial and the rest of the time was spent aimlessly. i am too often struck by self-doubt and the imposter syndrome, and it’s deeply held me back.

how to better align with my calling in the new year the sun

what i value the most is freedom. embracing who i am and living my life with complete authenticity is the best thing i can focus on to find my calling. almost until i pulled this card, i wasn’t sure what i wanted to reach for next year, but now i know—i want to magnetise what’s meant for me. i may not have an exact definition of what i want yet, but i believe this is the year i’m going to figure it out. i feel like it may be a long, slow process, but if i embrace the journey with positivity and vitality, then it will be filled with the freedom i crave.

[one-little-comet]

2018 tarot review: optimism.

everything is for and from angelorum’s 2018 tarot review e-book (found here).

day nineteen, optimism. challenge: what are your optimism levels like toward the end of 2018? pull one card to reflect how optimistic (or not) you currently feel. the second card is for a reason for optimism in the year ahead. if the card itself looks bleak, it means this situation is ending.

optimism levels the hermit

i am very optimistic for next year; more than i’ve ever been before. a good part of that stems from this spiritual undertaking, and the constant introspection. it feels like coming out of a long dark tunnel. i consider myself a very optimistic person as it is, but, right now, i’m brimming.

reason for optimism in the year ahead death

this bolsters my optimism for next year. my entire focus right now is shedding my old life and emerging anew, strengthened by truly learning who i am and what it is i want. i will no longer be who i assumed i should be, and will merely be.

[one-little-comet]

2018 tarot review: fears.

everything is for and from angelorum’s 2018 tarot review e-book (found here).

day eighteen, fears. challenge: what was your biggest fear in 2018? did it happen? do you still carry this fear? pull one card for your fear and another card for what to expect with regards to this fear in the year ahead.

biggest fear in 2018 five of swords

my greatest fear, although usually subconscious, was that all my efforts would be for nothing. they weren’t—they never are, even if the only result is a learned lesson—but i knew deep down that i feared this because my gut was telling me i was on the wrong path. nights spent crying and asking for signs over and over, when my hearing nothing was the sign. and, to be frank, it was entirely self-destructive.

what to expect with regards to this fear in the new year king of cups (reversed)

while i now have tools to help me decipher my intuition and my feelings, i cannot let this fear of lack of fruition hold me back from accomplishment. if anything, it has instead pushed me in the better direction, so therefore it should no longer be an applicable fear at all. better to now use this chance to grow mentally and emotionally stronger.

[one-little-comet]

2018 tarot review: hopes.

everything is for and from angelorum’s 2018 tarot review e-book (found here).

day seventeen, hopes. challenge: what did you hope would happen in 2018? did it happen? what do you hope will happen next year? pull one card to what happened to your hopes and one for what you should be hoping for in 2019.

what happened to my hopes in 2018 the chariot (reversed)

there were a few things i hoped for in 2018, but it was more recently that i realised i was focusing in the wrong direction and on generally the wrong goals. i try to keep hopes and expectations to a minimum regardless, but the letdowns i did have were due to me not painting a clear enough picture of what i wanted or needed. i didn’t really know to begin with.

what i should hope for in 2019 ace of swords

next year, though, in quite the opposite vein of my reversed chariot, my hopes will appear once i find the mental clarity and focus that i lost this past year. with practice, meditation, intuition, and hard work, i think the path of where i should aim my hopes will appear quickly in 2019.

[one-little-comet]

2018 tarot review: shocking news.

everything is for and from angelorum’s 2018 tarot review e-book (found here).

day sixteen, shocking news. challenge: think about one unexpected event in 2018 that shocked you. pull one card for how you reacted. pull a second card for what you can do to better prepare for the unexpected.

how i coped with shock the empress (reversed)

the thing that shocked me the most htis year was the behaviour of two of the most nurturing people in my life (outside of my own mother). i saw sides of them i never knew existed, and felt blindsided. our friendships haven’t been the same since. i generally responded by going cold; i kept my feelings mostly internalised, and decided to never approach it again. clearly, by coming up in this reading, i never quite healed because i never expressed and dealt with it. i left my personal power in another’s hands.9

how to improve my response to shocking events ten of wands

both of these cards in these particular positions represent blockages of the creative or emotional channel. and if there’s one thing i do well, it’s suppressing both of these. i don’t like to show my weaker moments, like shock or pain or anger. but i’m solving nothing this way, and potentially hurting myself. with this upright while my empress is reversed, i have to take what i pull inward and let it be outward. allow myself to be shocked. to be hurt. to be surprised. to be taken aback. i can express these without fear, and may find better ways to cope than escapism.

[one-little-comet]

2018 tarot review: temptations.

everything is for and from angelorum’s 2018 tarot review e-book (found here).

day fifteen, temptations. challenge: contemplate your greatest source(s) of temptation in the past year. pull one card for your biggest temptation, to show you how you coped. the next card is for what your biggest temptation in the year ahead will be.

how i coped with temptation king of pentacles

i had many temptations this and previous years, that i cautiously went after. sign after sign showed them not serving me any longer (if ever), yet i persisted. the more worn down i got, the more i lost myself in ... myself; i was determined to heal, to fight these bad habits, and lost myself in work. i attempted to become self-reliant and independent, if only to show that i could, as a way of forgetting my failures. regardless of being a coping method, it worked, and i was successful. if i only keep my head in the game, i can continue this way.

what my biggest temptation will be in 2019 two of swords

my biggest temptation next year will be reverting back to making “easy” or “autopilot” choices. i used to believe making simpler decisions, or not putting much thought into them, indicated paths “meant” for me when, in reality, it was ego driving so fast that i never listened to intuition, even when it told me not to take the simpler route. mindfulness will be key.

[one-little-comet]

2018 tarot review: healing.

everything is for and from angelorum’s 2018 tarot review e-book (found here).

day fourteen, healing. challenge: pull one card for your ability to self-heal in 2018. the second card is for where you will need to apply your healing skills in 2019.

ability to self-heal the devil (reversed)

my self-healing didn’t properly take root until the end of the year, but it was an experience similar to shedding skin. i let go of things that had felt like my identity for so long, and i’m discovering who i am and what i value without outside sources. along with taking control of my health, both physical and mental, this has been my source of healing.

where healing will be needed in 2019 the lovers (reversed)

next year is a deeply self-care-oriented year. i am warned, too, to continue nurturing myself and my personal connections in order to not be tempted by the situations and people that brought the devil card out in the first place. the connection between these two cards is telling me to keep at it, lest i lose everything i’m building toward. i’m at a crossroad, and must keep moving forward.

[one-little-comet]

2018 tarot review: transformation.

everything is for and from angelorum’s 2018 tarot review e-book (found here).

day thirteen, transformation. challenge: ask the tarot to show you the event that lead to the biggest transformation in 2018. pull a second card to tell you more about this event and/or how you responded to it.

transformational event justice

there were two subsequent events that lead to my biggest transformation of 2018; it was finally choosing to say “no” to something no longer serving me (with much difficulty), while using the gap it left behind to concentrate on my health and healing in a big way. it was a lot of sudden realisations at how out-of-alignment i was with myself, and finally seeking balance and taking responsibility. ironically, this decision came after (as a result of) the failed sacrifice mentioned in previous entry, wherein i got this card reversed.

further information seven of swords (reversed)

i’ve received this card three times in this 2018 review, twice reversed and in the second position. this theme of overcoming my self-doubt and the self-deceit that what i’ve been doing is working—it’s all very present. this transformation, which i am still in the middle of, is my rethought approach and will be the new energy i go into 2019 with.

[one-little-comet]

2018 tarot review: sacrifices.

everything is for and from angelorum’s 2018 tarot review e-book (found here).

day twelve, sacrifices. challenge: think about the sacrifices you made in the past year, big and small. pull one card for a message from the tarot about how well the sacrifice(s) paid off. pull another card about how the sacrifice affected your wellbeing.

payout justice (reversed)

simply: it wasn’t worth it. it took a wake-up call for me to realise i was putting my eggs in the wrong basket. i mentioned before that i spent a long time listening to ego over intuition, and i paid the price. the sacrifices made in that vein were not worth it. still though, i must not be too critical, and let it be water under the bridge. it eventually led to the re-evaluation that i’m at now, and that’s worth something.

how the sacrifice affected me queen of wands (reversed)

whether from the sacrifice or the subsequent wake-up call, i am now looking at certain relationships and friendships from the outside. i have deep new perspective. it has helped me pull back and better understand my own values and morality, and how those with whom i was involved may no longer be serving them.

[one-little-comet]

2018 tarot review: love & relationships.

everything is for and from angelorum’s 2018 tarot review e-book (found here).

day eleven, love & relationships. challenge: without thinking about how you feel, pull a card from the tarot to reflect back to you how you truly feel about your relationship status. what does the card show you? are you being honest with yourself? pull another card for how to improve your relationship status in the new year.

how i feel about my relationship status eight of wands

at the beginning of last year (toward the end of 2017), i decided to stop pursuing a relationship that wasn’t giving me enough steadiness. 2018 consisted of me barring myself against it and becoming more resistant. i finally put my foot down (last month!) and announced this is no longer serving me. i have put myself in the care of the universe; whatever happens, happens.

how i can improve my relationship status nine of  cups (reversed)

my decision to let go and let it be will work out well for me. i must align with myself before considering aligning with another, and that’s perfect to me. i have to know what i truly want before asking for it.

[one-little-comet]

2018 tarot review: luck.

everything is for and from angelorum’s 2018 tarot review e-book (found here).

day ten, studies. challenge: how lucky or unlucky were you in 2018? perhaps you feel luck had nothing to do with anything that happened in your life. let’s see what the tarot has to say about it. pull a card for what sort of luck you had in 2018 and another for the kind of luck you will have in 2019.

my luck in 2018 page of swords

i usually feel quite lucky. over the years, i can generally tell when something was a stroke of luck, and it happened often. this year, in alignment with 2018 having been almost a penance over my lack of self-development, i felt very little pushes of luck. here and there, yes, but not to extremes. this year, i drove my own engines.

my luck in 2019 three of wands (reversed)

my luck next year will partially depend on how many opportunities i embrace, and how my lessons from this year will affect me. i have a lot of potential for lucky things, but they won’t have room or capability to appear if i stay too far comfortably in my safe zone. i have to branch out, where these chances will appear.