why am i like this @onesadlimabean - Tumblr Blog

:( I havent felt good and like,, i wanna do something to make it better but ahhhh hhhh

I know I need to be alone but my brain keeps saying "rebound rebound" and it hurts hh

"Do you regret going?"

No,, i just didnt have fun,,

I miss my boyfriend, whoever I'm talking to now is not him one bit, I miss Ryan so much, I don't know who tf you are anymore hh

chest hurt body hurt miss love

TELL ME WHY I LEGIT SCREAMED WHEN I SAW THAT ONE OF THE EXPANSIONS I GOT INCLUDES RYAN'S HAIR STYLE??

hhhhhhh i made a deal with him i made a pinky promise that i would take care of myself this morning and i want to cry because keeping that promise is so incredibly hard right now

I had a thing with someone where I said I wouldn't hurt myself but I honestly really really really want to do it right now

The fact that I was telling myself this week that I wasn't feeling the things I was feeling kind of lowkey highkey sucks

I really want him right now gknskfns

I know im clingy i know its harsh and im trying to play it cool but i just feel really needy right now for all of his love and attention in all kinds of ways and just ndkanskamak idk idk idk im such a stupid idiod

I want him so badly right now i feel like crying, what the fuck is this hh

its hard not to compare hhh

it hurts

how do you just go from being there for someone to not being there for someone

fucking disgusting honestly nfksnfksndk

you tell them one moment that they make you happy, because that's you being honest, these past two week of being there for me have made me feel more in love with you, so now not even two days later you just up and ruin that for me

you up and make me more sad with you than happy again, wtf is even up with that hhh

I'm trying to be calm right now, like I'm trying to be trusting, but my heart right now for the life of it can't stop feeling replaceable to ryan and it's weird... i just, idk like it really is weird hh

i hope he loves me, like genuinely, not just the idea of me...

I feel bad

My depression's putting me in one of those "I'm uncomfy with commitment" moods again and every time it hits me that my mind started drifting into those thoughts, I instantly get so sad because jfjskfkak I literally don't fuckin want anyone else, I just want him, but ig when my brain's stupid it forgets he's even here and well ndkanfkajsosk

I miss him a stupid amount

There's this girl, I complimented her non-makeup because at first I had to ask if she was wearing any and her voice changed and she blushed and 🥺

I saw a post that said "this is the happiest memory, we play it whenever we're sad!—meeting you" and like fjsnfjskak i legit, my brain was like nonono if anything it's not the day i met you its the first time we kissed AND IM GOING TO BE LATE TO CLASS NOW BECAUSE I STARTED GETTING LOST IN THE THOUGHT WITH THE MOST FUZZIEST WARM FEELINGS EVER AND CLUNG AROUND BEAR JFHSUFHAKSJI

Edit: Btw im blind i like just refound it so easily lol

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why am i like this