One-Star Book Reviews

Reviews of classic books, culled from the internet's think tank.

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“I do not give a damn what Opera says.”

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Think it’s time for everyone to go out and buy (another!) copy of this one. 

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“This book not only ruined a week at the beach but also damaged my self-esteem.”

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Happy Bloomsday!

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“I don't believe all that actually happened!“

(Congrats on the Pulitzer, btw).

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“shakespeare is so like eratic“

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“learned nothing good.”

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"I get it. Life was terrible in Italy in the 1950s. Lots of terrible things happened and then it ended.”

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“The structure of the novel is essentially Jubal Harshaw relentlessly stating the obvious: Sex is fun, and handsome aliens should not be publicly stoned for having sex. Yes, we agree.”

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“Holden Caulfield learns to masturbate…enthusiastically.“

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“Who cares about Bob Dylan? Oh, yeah, everyone but me.“

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Removed from classrooms in Miller, MO in 1980 for making promiscuous sex “look like fun.”

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“a real downer"—four members of the Alabama State Textbook Committee, 1983

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“It starts off good and interesting, but by the end it's like an hour long version of Charlton Heston yelling ‘You Maniacs! You blew it up!’”

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“Too many words. Just look at the title, it’s twice as long as it needs to be.“

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“We get it, Charlotte Bronte. You hate Catholics and you hate French people.”

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“Twenty minutes of reading her in a sitting consistently made me despair of all society.“

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“A little part of me died when I read this book, and I’m not being melodramatic.”

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“much longer than 'Fifty Shades of Grey’”