Danielle M. Wells @onethingdaniiii - Tumblr Blog

So I’m Getting Married

So I’m getting married, you would think I would be happy but the truth is I’m not. It’s not that I’m not happy with who I’m with, its more about me feeling beautiful when I know I wont. The dress I have is beautiful but the fit is not. I’m not skinny but I’m not also ginormous, I’m what you call fluffy I guess. The more I think about my problem the more stressed I am. My wedding is a month away and I’m over here hoping that I can get a new dress but i know this is not what will happen.

I just want to look and feel pretty for once and I know it wont happen but I guess we can all hope..... right?

The way I feel

I feel like I did 2 years ago. I feel like I did 2 years ago when you decided you no longer wanted to be with me. You said you didn’t love me the same, that my love was just to strong. You told me you still loved me just not the way that I loved you. But you did love me the same, but someone came between us and you went after her instead of staying with me. You went for someone who didn't live in the state, someone who lived hundreds of miles away. Someone you liked but didn’t love. It broke my heart after finding out cause you were to damn scared to tell me. Yes I took it hard but I got over it. I feel like I did 2 years ago. I fell like I did 2 years ago when you came to my apartment every week to see me but didnt want me, but never told that other person you were coming over. I was your secret......I was your get away.......i was your one chance to get laid. 2 months later we got back together like everyone said we would and now 2 years later we are still together living in a house and have a car together. But............. I feel like I did 2 years ago. I feel like I’m losing you. I feel like the love is fading. I feel like if we leave this time theirs no 3rd chance. ............ I FEEL LIKE I DID 2 YEARS AGO

Breakdown

I just wanna break down and cry. I can only hold so much in. Okay, so my kids are in daycare and they go full-time, well I get help with daycare because of job and family. Well they didn't get a paper (as they said) so they were at part time for the last 3 months. So now they are trying to say that I have to pay a big bill that i shouldn't because they messed up not me. This is all so overwhelming for me and I am about to lose my shit !

Rough Summer

The summer of 2019 has been one of the most horrible ones by far. Audrey start school on August 20 and she is now but just threw in Duncan Falls elementary which is an hour from where I live now. We’ve been looking for a place almost a year now I guess but fully looking for one this summer. It’s definitely been a rough summer because everywhere we turn it seems like we can’t find anything if we don’t find anything by the 20th or even sometime that week is going to be really rough.......

3 Miscarriages

My first one was on January 29th 2018, that day is alo my birthday. It was a hard day. Me and my boyfriend broke up after being together for 8 months. He was going thru alot and I knew he needed space. When we broke up I didnt know I was pregnant. When I lost the baby i was almost 4-5 months.

My second one was sometime in March, not sure of the day but it wasnt as bad. I had gotten an IUD in a couple weeks before hand and it started bothering me so i went to get it removed and when I did thye told me I was pregnant but only a few weeks and more then likely I will lose the baby because of the IUD and how it was placed. Shortly after that I lost the baby. Me and my boyfriend was back together but it was still a hard time.

My last one was January 21st 2019. I was a few weeks and I knew what was happening as I had 2 of them before hand. Depression is hard but i will be okay because i am a fighter !

It’s been 11 years and your still missed !

On March 15, 2007 I lost a brother. He was 20 years old, he had his whole life to live but he as at the wrong place wrong time.

It has been 11 years and we still always think about him and talk about him. He would of been 31 October 7, 2018.

Toddlers at age 2!

There is never a dull moment when it comes to Thea.

Thea’s in her room with her sister going to sleep (but that’s what I thought). Then I hear her whining so I go to check on her. Omg what I walked in to was horrible. She had her diaper off with it in her hands. There is poop all over the floor, smushed in to the carpet. It was all over the table and up the side of the leg of it. She ran out the room laughing down the hall. It was EVERYWHERE, and when I mean EVERYWHERE I mean it !

After cleaning it up and getting her all cleaned up and washed down I sit her up eye level with mine and I ask her why did she do it. She looked at me, shrugged her shoulders and said “cause”.

There is truly never a dull moment when it comes to this kid 😂💩

Dearly Missed

On August 31, 2018 I got a call that my cousin that her sister passed. It was I didnt wanna hear but I knew I had to hear it. It’s been almost 2 weeks now and I still dont believe that it happened. She was healthy and had 4 young kids. She was severely depressed and she thought life was to much for her to handle any more and she took her own life on August 30, 2018. I’m still in shock because I can;t see her doing something like that because she had 4 children and they were all she had. Depression is something that is hard to deal with and some people can’t handle it like others. Some people try to talk to others about it but it does not always work. I was one of them people at one time. If it wasn’t for my boyfriend I would of probably lost my mind.

Just remember everyone, Committig Suicide is not away out. If you feel any type of self harm Please Call 1-800-273-8255

Depressed

Lately I’ve been so depressed I dont know what I should do anymore. It’s getting harder and harder to deal with. Everyone goes through some stuff but for me its just so hard.

I just want everything and all these feeling to stop and go away.....

S’mores Blizzard, Yummmmmmm..

#dairy queen #s'mores #blizzard #summer #lunch

Thats what people do who love you. They put there arms around you when you're not loveable.

Deb Caletti

First Argument

So I’ve been with Corey (my boyfriend) for a little over a year now and we never had an argument before until today!

It was all over him getting a loan and he basiclly didnt do anything to even try to. I understand he works 3rds but if he says he is going to do things I am hopin he is going to do it.

This makes me think alot cause I believe he is the one for me but I just have to know he will be there an do things that he said he will do.

This isnt the first time he said he was going to do things and dont do it. It happened alot...

.......

So Corey told me yesterday he had a lot to do today but when I go to see how his day is going he hasnt done anything yet. He was supposed to go to the bank to see if he was able to get a loan but looks ike this isnt going to happen. I’m really about just tell him to just forget and I’ll just stay in the town I’m in. or just get a place in Zanesville alone and not with him. Its just irking me and I really hate it I swear.

Can I just give up now ???

The Call

Around 10:20am I got a phone call from my dad. He told me my mom was in the hospital, He said she was talking weird, he said around 1:30am she was mumbling and my dad brought her out of the room and she said that she had to get back in the room because her mom is in there waiting for her. (Her mom passed away in 2009) My mom didnt know where she was at or what year or day it was.

Docters say it may be her meds but sounds more like a stroke.

Weekend 7/21/18 - 7/22/18

So this weekend was okay, had off from work so I got to spend it with Corey (boyfriend) ad his kids (2 boys) and my kids (2 girls). We all went swimming Saturday even tho the water was super cold! After swimming we all went back up to the house and just relaxed and watched tv and ate pizza. I’m pretty sure pizza is everyones favorite thing in that house.

Later that night corey had to take his kids back to there grandma’s house. After he came back we all went to my house where we got ready for bed. As Sunday came we got a phone call from his mom saying we have to meet a guy to look at trailers. We got ready and took my kids to my parents house for a little. So we met Corey’s mom at the trailer we were looking at and the first one was okay just really small. It was really cute tho but definitely need more work done to it.

After looking at the first one we drove to look at the 2nd one and that one was the one that i fell in love with but sadly it was to much and we wouldnt be able to afford it. This kinda really made me upset. After look at both Corey thought we should try to get the first one. I really dont want it but I cant tell Corey that. I fell like it will make him upset and also I have to be out of my apartment by august 11th anyway.

So Corey is trying to figure out how to come up with money to get it. I gave up a while ago so part of me really doesnt care anymore. I guess it what ever we can get right now.

Part of me thinks we wont be able but I really dont know. Guess we just wait and see what happens....

#life #sucks #tralier #money #problems

When I was a little girl

When I was a little girl I thought love was about red roses and expensive dinners....Truth is, love is giving her half of your fries when she said she wasn’t hungry. It’s waking up at 4am to her snoring but you lie and tell her she was snoozing and it never bothers you. It’s talking in accents just for shits, and trying to embarrass one another in public. It’s going on adventures, and making fun of each another. It’s stupid fights and memorable make up’s. Love isn’t pretty and romantic... Love is stumbling through life with your best friend.

This Helps

Blogging here helps so much, if i couldnt I think I would probably lose my mind. When I was younger I use to blog all the time but as I got older and got in to my first relationship I basiclly deleted my blog and losr everything I had. I was kinda like a book I guess you can say. Lost all of that between 2009-10.

No one knows that I am bloging again and I dont think I’m ready for anyone to know yet. Kepping this to myself for now is probably safe because if some people read this it may lead to something I dont want, but then again it may not.

Nothing i write on here is a secret but some people may not like that I put it out there in public..

I’ll give it a couple months and then maybe let people know about it.

Or do I keep it to myself???

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Danielle M. Wells