existing in liminal

considerably tired yet we persist anyhow

[onewiththerot]

eli + he/it + adult !!

about: just a guy diagnosed with dissociative identity disorder. super into dolls. likes cute and horrifying things. computers go beep boop. :3 -> what to expect: a mix of everything: fandom, aes, system stuff, fashion, art, random shit i like. informational posts and resources will be properly tagged, and sometimes i make random texts posts (tagged with .txt).

tags: .txt (text posting), cdd.txt, info.txt (info post containing sources), resource.txt (contains useful links or resource masterposts), aes.png, art.png, fashion.png. -> there's more tags but generally they're pretty self explanatory. tags that require more elaboration will be mentioned here.

blinkies + graphics hoard under the cut

[banchie]

i've been phasing the phrase 'google it' out of my vocabulary and going back to 'look it up'. fuck you youve lost your generic trademark privileges

[unyieldingsilence]

‎

[vocalsynthtextposts]

ppriiiide montgh Yay pride Yay

[hazedxg0]

DID Research: General Info

Here's a handful of links to scientific articles about DID that outline some basic concepts of the disorder, for anyone looking for an intro to DID research:

Overall Reviews of DID

Dissociative identity disorder as interdisciplinary problem. Part I - psychiatric and psychological aspects 

Separating Fact from Fiction: An Empirical Examination of Six Myths About Dissociative Identity Disorder 

Dissociative identity disorder: An empirical overview 

Dissociative Identity Disorder: A Comprehensive Review of Etiology, Diagnosis, Neurobiology, and Treatment

Frequency of dissociative identity disorder in the general population in Turkey (not open access) 

From the neuropsychiatric to the analytic: three perspectives on dissociative identity disorder 

Analysis of demographic and clinical characteristics of patients with dissociative identity disorder 

Dissociative identity disorder: An Australian series 

Basic Concepts & Mechanisms of DID

Shame as Affect Regulation in Dissociative Identity Disorder (not open access) 

Familial and social support as protective factors against the development of dissociative identity disorder (not open access)

Symptom patterns in dissociative identity disorder patients and the general population (not open access)

Self or selves? Dissociative identity disorder and complexity of the self-system 

Total otherness in dissociative identity disorder 

Dissociative identity disorder as a wide range of defense mechanisms in children with a history of early childhood trauma

The sense of self over time: Assessing diachronicity in dissociative identity disorder, psychosis and healthy comparison groups 

Measuring fragmentation in dissociative identity disorder: the integration measure and relationship to switching and time in therapy 

How do Patients Diagnosed with Dissociative Identity Disorder Experience Conflict? A Qualitative Study 

[onewiththerot]

I find it so funny the stereotype for being a persecutor is to be mean and scary or just super tough when I'm just some catboy with long hair and rocks a skirt.

[thestarseersystem]

im scrolling through the tags and seeing people wanting to punish their alters is disgusting like DUDE THAT'S YOU!!! THAT'S JUST YOU IN A DIFFERENT FONT!!! Yes, it sucks that they fronted and said those things, but do you know what helps those alters? Therapy. Self-work. Understanding. Actual work. Do not punish your alters, do not attack your alters, and do not antagonize them, instead you need to have a serious talk with your alters and your system.

This isn't like a sibling or a child or whatever outside of yourself. This alter is a part of you. Just because dissociative barriers cause some level of disconnection that makes you think they're different people, they're actually not. They are just different emotional parts of you. You are still acting, using, thinking and saying things with the same body. You all experienced the same trauma, it's just that only some of you remember it.

So to take this seriously, punishing alters is immature, as immature as whatever that alter had done. It also won't help, and just causes resentment, worse dissociative amnesia and issues within your system.

So imagine, you're an asshole alter, what is the one thing that you can do to hurt someone that someone else loves? and you know they care about them, and it really annoys you that they have someone they care about, you hate that this person puts all their misery and hate onto you, makes you the person to hold those horrible memories, and gets to live a happy life. It really sucks. You feel shitty that this person has what you don't, and they are in your system. You want to hurt them for the way you have gone unrecognized throughout all this.

Things would not be better if you punish that alter that is a persecutor. It does not matter what they did, they just want you to suffer because they're in misery. The only way you can stop this is to be a bigger person and stop rejecting this alter and their feelings. Start giving them a space to vent, start giving them things that they enjoy. Start appreciating them. Start understanding what they went through and start being there for them. If you punish them, you are destroying an already strained relationship within yourself, and it will only make it worse.

This is a piece of you who has gone through all the terrible things you have a thousand times over. This would make you an even more immature person than you already are. You can't work against yourself, you have to make the hard choices in life and progress towards interconnection and healing. You have to take the harder road, or this will never get better. Start. This is you. This is you when you are suffering. This is you when you feel alone. Face yourself. This alter is you.

[onewiththerot]

I give up. No longer giving a shit about reality and my responsibilities lmao #persecutorlife

Force me out of being a host if you want us to survive, brain.

[kyonite]

trying to create an ebay account to sell smthn and tell me why I can't use my REAL LEGAL LAST NAME because it includes "dick" which ebay considers offensive

BUT THEN IN THEIR MISREPRESENTATION POLICY THEY SAY YOU CAN'T COLLECT MONEY TO A BANK ACCOUNT THAT'S NOT IN YOUR BUSINESS OR LEGAL NAME. BUT MY LEGAL NAME INCLUDES DICK, WHICH YOU CONSIDER OFFENSIVE.

the sanitization of the internet is so fucking stupid we live in the stupidest time

[multiplikitties]

sometimes i forget how spoiled for progressivism i am by living on tumblr dot com. here ill get bristly about the rhetorical implications and ideological failures of well-meaning but ill-informed arguments, but then step onto the wider internet and realise that an unsettling amount of people still arent even sure if racism is always bad

[boybeetles]

We should start doing this for all artists actually

[chuuyaskennedy]

I feel so sigma!!!!!!!!!

Outfit from the new Qooza collab (idl what happend to nikolai's clother)

[natequarter]

the grim reality for a lot of nonbinary people is that their options are closet themselves and be perpetually misunderstood by the world at large or be out and proud and be perpetually misunderstood by the world at large

[comstelic]

this happened like 2 months ago but i need her to come back i still haven't learnt how to lock in and write an essay 😭

[comstelic]

denial

[meangirlnurse]

gosh, isn't it interesting that this symptom is specific to men for some unknowable reason? listening and learning

[meangirlnurse]

why is this symptom specific to men. think

[meangirlnurse]

#‘I HAVE BIG FEELINGS’ is only allowed for toddlers#you are an adult. use your words. stop making excuses.#bet these men dont do that around their bosses or anywhere there could be consequences they care about either 💅

[mockiatoh]

lol “have you considered your abusive boyfriend might have ADHD? Try having some empathy once in a while”. Great. Love it.

Seriously, ‘the angry man being aggressive and physically threatening is doing so to express that he is mad’. WOW ya don’t say. ‘But this common abusive behavior is different because he’s special’. Bro they all think the reason they’re abusive is special and not actually abuse or not actually about hurting you or not actually about intimidating you!

[obestriddbifftomat]

Why does he do that? - Lundy Bancroft

[moonjay-the-forest-spirit]

I don't think we talk enough about how traumatising being an autistic child really is.

[pastelcottoncandyunicorn]

i feels like there’s something missing in me that the rest of the world has and it’s not fair