Ontologically Evil Car

AAAAAHHH IM EVIL AHHHHHHHHH AHHHHHHHHHHH (it/its) (I’m a car! :)) (yippee!)

[ontologically-evil-car]

I’m on team tragedy this artfight.

That does mean I create tragedies, right? Like I’m creating the next line of amine protagonists or whatever the fuck. Because I’m killing their families and like, Orphaning them or something?

Yea.

[ontologically-evil-car]

This artfight shit’s easy.

You just gotta run through their houses and turn them into a red smear, makes for some pretty fine art, if you ask me.

[ontologically-evil-car]

ALL cars are ontologically evil. You're not special

Buddy, I bring a whole new level of evil to the ontologically evil car pool.

Also, I’m guessing you never met my cousin, ontologically good car, but their kindness makes me genuinely ILL. It’s gross.

[ontologically-evil-car]

One day, when you’re all alone in your bedroom, trying to sleep peacefully. You’ll see something out of the corner of your eye. And then you’ll realize. It wasn’t in the corner of your eye. It was right in front of you. And it was me. About to run you over.

[ontologically-evil-car]

Running a marathon?

How about me running you over?

[ontologically-evil-car]

Just stole the ability to say Gs from a child.

[ontologically-evil-car]

Just stole the ability to say Gs from a child.

[ontologically-evil-car]

Just stole the ability to say Gs from a child.

[ontologically-evil-car]

Just stole the ability to say Gs from a child.

[ontologically-evil-car]

Just stole the ability to say Gs from a child.

[ontologically-evil-car]

Just stole the ability to say Gs from a child.

[ontologically-evil-car]

Just stole the ability to say Gs from a child.

[ontologically-evil-car]

Just stole the ability to say Gs from a child.

[ontologically-evil-car]

Just stole the ability to say Gs from a child.

[ontologically-evil-car]

Just stole the ability to say Gs from a child.

[ontologically-evil-car]

Just stole the ability to say Gs from a child.

[rainy-daze1]

i need to go missing and shave my head and eat a sandwich with a little drink and kill myself and live forever and drop out of college and get twelve doctorates and start a podcast and run away and write a novel and get a little treat and be shot and shoot someone and go back in time and erase my memory and curl up in a ball under my desk and explode and throw the best damn talent show this town has ever seen

[ontologically-evil-car]

Hey, heard you wanted to be shot, I’m offering a discount on being run over right now. It’s the not the same thing, but it IS better, so. I expect you to accept this offer in 5 minutes before I run you over anyways.