OOC Mystara

Out of context quotes from The Sword of Mystara D&D campaign. Want some context? Watch our videos!

[oocmystara]

The bard has a way with words...

"Listen here you weasel-dicked shit." - Vex the Bard "Well that's offensive language." - Sven

[oocmystara]

There should be a DM award. A D-Emmy. I don't need to win, I just want to be nominated.

The DM

[oocmystara]

“Hold on, let me get to my tool.”

-The DM, followed by very mature and not at all childish laughter.

[theswordofmystara-blog]

A Tale of Two Swords, Chapter Four: Under the Trees

Saddam had to admit to being impressed that the group had not set elf-orc relations back by more than about fifteen minutes, despite Demi’s best efforts, when Ilya returned. He was less impressed, however, by Lord Asyaril’s promise of ten elves to assist them. Even with ten elves, they would be lucky to slow the gnolls’ attack, much less halt it. But, as Vex pointed out, it was their fault that the village was in danger of anything worse than mild hunger and annoyance, so they had to do what they could.

He was not well-acquainted with elves, but the way Ellas’s back straightened and lips tightened at the news suggested that she was not entirely pleased with Lord Asyaril’s orders. But it was the way her jaw muscles clenched at the rest of Ilya’s news that gave away her concern.

“Lord Asyaril is dying.” Ilya’s voice, though low, carried through the clearing. Vex and Jinx swiveled to stare at him, mirrored expressions of surprise and dismay making them appear the sisters they were for the first time Saddam could recall noticing. “That is why he cannot spare more fighters. He cannot risk spreading his own resources too thin when his reign is so vulnerable.”

“What happened?” The tiny bard looked oddly distressed by the news, until Saddam vaguely recalled her saying that she, Jinx, Ilya, and Orsik had all met the elf lord, who had a connection to the elf lady who was the source of Vex’s bardic magic.

It was Ellas who answered in a tone dripping with venom. “The orcs poisoned him.” Djurisk flinched. “Every day that passes, he weakens more. In time, he will waste away.”

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[theswordofmystara-blog]

The Mad Trickster’s Keep, Chapter Four

Vex’s tenure at the keep was filled with more than a few more bottles of wine and laughter-filled late nights. However, no matter how many times Jinx teased, tormented, demanded, or pressured her, she refused to participate in the program. “How can I travel if I’m pregnant? Look, you find a way to get around that, and I’ll at least think about it. In the meantime, if you need me, I’ll be somewhere along the Karameikan coast. I’m supposed to meet Orsik in Sulescu.” With a wink for Demi, the bard hugged her surprisingly speechless sister and sauntered out the keep’s wide front door, whistling a tune they both recognized as a rather suggestive one she had written about the dwarf.

Demi’s sniggers lasted far longer than Jinx’s speechlessness. “Did she just… Does that… Is she… Are they going to be traveling… That little shit! She’s already sleeping with him!” That thought sobered Demi like a bucket of cold water in the face, and she grimaced. Dwarf and gnome relations of that sort were not what she wanted to imagine when she was busy enjoying Vex’s inborn ability to be the perfect little sister.

“Or she said that because she knew exactly how much it would piss you off.” Demi smirked as Jinx turned several interesting shades of puce.

“I swear, one of these days…” Jinx mimed slitting someone’s throat. She shook her head and marched off toward the laboratory. “Bah, forget her, I have letters to write.”

Demi shrugged and wandered off to write her own letters. Jinx was hardly the only occupant of the keep who was capable of orchestrating intriguing plots. So, when Jinx’s letters to Andyra and Djurisk went winging away in the claws of some friendly birds, a few of Demi’s headed out to sea.

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[oocmystara]

"The space time continuum will collapse. All parallel universes will become one. Every single female organism in the galaxy will become pregnant and bear his seed to fruition."

[oocmystara]

“I think she just summoned Tenser’s Floating Sex Swing.”