Call Me Kevin Sentence Starters
"I'd make a great Dad, not because of my abilities to care for anyone because I don't have that, but because I make some really bad jokes sometimes."
"I don't need your witty remarks right now, that's my job...and I'm not very good at it!"
"More like BORE Ragnarok, am I right?"
"I had a Tamagotchi once and I think it started to have feelings"
"We're going to start again, because obviously, you don't know the FUCKING ALPHABET"
"A minute? Any good joke takes at least seven minutes."
"I'm going to start playing Bop-It at you."
"So, what you're saying is...we're all stuck here. This merry band of misfits."
"I'm getting berated by a tin of beans?"
"You should probably settle your tab, you're running...$555 now."
"I don't know what that means, but sign me up."
"There was an attempt, alright."
"Hey, you...hey!"
"I don't even know 500 words. I know, like, 200 words."
"Pull that hecking truck over right now!"
"Disturbing the peace? Unless your name is peace, then I ain't disturbing nothing."
"Who do I have to talk to to get some fucking band aids up in here?"
"Can I get something to eat? I wasn't involved, so..."
"I got this, uhh...what would you call it in real life? Oh, that's right, a cough."