Un-Titled

i have identity issues also this is my place to be Not Nice I promise I dont wanna be mean but sometimes my opinions are strong and otherwise uncommunicated so here it goes

[oopsalltoxic]

prob imagining things but mr robot feels different on this watchthru i straight up thought it was edited differently

[asteroidtroglodyte]

Ok so lemme get this straight the boys get advertised their body weight in protein powder and girls are told to get by on uncooked foliage and I’m supposed to believe that the observed differences in gender are strictly because of sex chromosomes with no cultural influence at all uh huh sure hey buddy what kind of idiot

[oopsalltoxic]

please excuse the photo-of-a-photo on the young flowers, i dont feel like data transferring rn. first medicine grow went splendid, better than expected. starting a 2nd grow to see how i can improve—low humidity has been biting me lately.

my youngest sister called me "to see how i am" for the first time in about a year (usually she only calls she needs something.) i told her i wanted to start growing a small amount of wheat. like, for flour, baking. not large scale or anything, my yard is small. she laughed at me and told me it's probably a lot harder than i think, so i shouldnt try. lol. ive been living in the great plains since dad died, waiting for his cynicism and superiority to die with him. it's tough when the family keeps it alive however many hundreds of miles away.

[oopsalltoxic]

lol my new doctors office literally weighed me wrong. how does that even happen. my license now says im 15-20lbs less than i actually weigh, says 124, and that im underweight. (cross ref'd weight at home, 138 irl, and also had another appt recently w a more correct weight at 142) is this sexism bc of my stealth build or are they just stupid? i do need more fat truly, but bc of body build not bc of weight itself.

context, the entire town is the size of a large highschool, i was the only patient there so they not just busy. rural county capital tho. boutta squat walk around the hospital while eating 2 pizzas and icecream bc i got a feeling they're gonna say somethin more ab my body, i mean they already totally misunderstood the RH diagnosis.

anyway, medicinal herbs are harvested and im very happy with the results for a first try. will post pics later.

[oopsalltoxic]

OHHHHHSHIT

GATE (tag) took me aside for that extra weird hearing test alone BC I HEARD BEEPS THAT WERENT THERE in the normal test that everyone got. Auditory hallucinations. They were prob trying to see if my brain had a BIG red flag. (It did)

I do have auditory hallucinations and they predate school. They prob WOULD have explained it to me if the program & school didnt shut down. Or maybe they did but werent available to reiterate when I formed long term memories as a kid. I blame either learning piano/starting music before speaking or moving a lot/learning to speak in a different country but still learning american english. Embarrassing that it took me so long to figure that out.

I don't have any other kind of real hallucination, or anything negative at all. Orchestral music, almost always. The worst is that sleep paralysis demon type thing that everyone gets in the corner of their eye for like a split second. My craziest most out there belief is that I think sometimes if I "follow" the music, it shows me the right places to be, like dejavu. But I can usually tell if it's in my head (less so when I was a kid) and it's not like I'm compelled to do anything, I just highly value music and follow good irl music as well like a sort of rule. Maybe that makes me schizoaffective? Or synesthesia maybe. I'll research and get back to y'all

Either way I wouldn't be surprised if the govt sold info like that collected from schools lol. Plus they def did focus on a certain performance level which is messed up

ALSO the conspiracy is actually an ARG intentionally ableist and lolcowing, a crude echo of the ugly laws in the USA, a humiliation ritual from the ableds. I'll be the first to admit it caught me off guard lmao but hey that's on why dereality practices are dangerous without informed consent. Able bodied people will only get it as they progressively continue mistaking AI for real life, unfortunately.

[oopsalltoxic]

So much of my body pain is falling away with Somatic Therapy I didnt even think this was possible it's helping things I never even thought of as related to trauma. I grew an inch just by finally experiencing relaxation and tension relief. (Not like growth spurt, I just got "shorter" after years of chronic tension pulling my body into essentially a fetal position which is now correcting with therapy)

Also my tummy hurts WAY less idk if I ever even had sensitive digestion at all because I'm doing fine now.

Lowkey tho I think a Poisoning the Well fallacy is going on w all the less-than-scientific practices that coopt these exercises. Nothing wrong w combining therapy and spirituality for yourself, but it seems the general populus has conflated the two... and that restricts non-spiritual people from healing imo. Something about that just feels wrong to me idk

[oopsalltoxic]

Fam drama ahead, traumatic history but looking up 🙃

My sis told me today that she believes me about stuff that happened a long time ago and shit boyo a weight came off my shoulders that I didnt even know I still had. Btw that saying is literal and I never really realized, Somatic Therapy exercises are literally easier rn and breathing doesn't hurt so much. My partner was right about the thing bothering me wasn't so much about not being believed now by people today, it was about being unseen by the people around me when I was going thru it.

[oopsalltoxic]

Seedling transplant day!

She's looking swell in her new home c:

My first transplant of the consumable variety so hopefully I did ok. Her roots look great! Very healthy, edge of the pot but not tangling, and no signs of disease or deterioration.

I need another light tho, her new pot is a space hog

[oopsalltoxic]

Lemon Skunk & baby Cheetah Piss plants

LS transplant coming soon, she gettin pretty big for the solo cup

[oopsalltoxic]

Yay plants!

More for my first grow attempt (legal w33d, 2 person household/grow size)

Lemon Skunk

She has her first fan leaves now I just haven't gotten a pic yet

No liquid nutrients yet just some local generic soil (checked for mix ratio) before our future veg in foxfarms

Combination of distilled and tap water (local supply, amazing quality report ratio, overall at 219ppm basically is a calmag supp in itself, cross tested to validate report and personal samples sent to lab for heavy metals, clean with just seasonal caution on algae, 6.8-7pH before mixing) full waterings a week apart (sort of I mean shes just now 2 weeks old) with heavy top soil misting every few days.

18hr on/6hr off

Day temp: 77-80°f

Night temp: 73-76°f

Trying to keep RH high is my worst struggle atm. Humidifier set to 80% in the tent running 24/7 can barely get the actual RH to 50% even with an evaporation plate type rig. It got down to like 37% at one point, gonna be tough.

[oopsalltoxic]

Taking a moment to remember the douche I dated who was like, oh no we have to break up bc your body is rejecting me it's a spiritual sign uwu

Like nah bitch I'm just having an allergic reaction to your perfume but sure we'll call it mutual🤧

[oopsalltoxic]

I'm germinating some seeds right now.

They're in a wet paper towel in a box with a space heater.

They think they're in the soil underground during the change of seasons.

It's all a heavy handed metaphor, an act, a performance I put on to convince this seed that it is where it isnt, that it's at home when in reality it might as well be in Hollywood. And we do the same thing to people, don't we?

[oopsalltoxic]

Don't hire your friends as actors I think I lowkey hurt my buddy's feelings by saying he can't have a main role in Night of the Living Dead (he's a white man like sorry bro ilysm but this film has more weight to me than just "fun")

[oopsalltoxic]

"He's always been so sweet I can't believe he murdered someone"

Bitch did we know the same person??? Dude railed coke in class, peed in the trash, tried to pick fights constantly... yeah no. I'm not surprised in the slightest.

[oopsalltoxic]

What do "it's not that deep" people think actually IS deep..?

Personal Relationships

Violence/Trauma/Death/War

The Universe

Religion

Oneself

Society

Other/Elaborate

Results/I'm Bald

Voting ended onSep 12, 2025

[oopsalltoxic]

Just a heads up

If you write/draw/type/hold books or phones too much you might get this this in your neck/ear called Pulsatile Tinnitus and it's actually kinda scary it sounds like a 70 year old truck trying to start right in your eardrum. It can have tons of causes, but for me it was muscle tension in the fine motor muscles of my right shoulder.

Take breaks, stretch, readjust your body and carry on💖

[oopsalltoxic]

I NEED Millenials, Gen X, and Boomers to understand something real quick.

To Gen Z and Gen Alpha...

THE LIST IS OUR 9/11

And you know what? This is SO much worse. By a lot. A thousand 9/11's wouldn't compare. I said it. Get mad. Just get mad at the right people, please. Get mad WITH us. If you're not mad, I seriously don't trust you to be a safe person, point blank period.

Be mad.