"Ugh, I've tried everything and he still won't give me the time of day. Now I've only got one option left."
"Moving on?"
"I'm gonna have to kidnap -- what did you say?"
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@oopsprompts
"Ugh, I've tried everything and he still won't give me the time of day. Now I've only got one option left."
"Moving on?"
"I'm gonna have to kidnap -- what did you say?"
"You know, I've travelled all over the world, and everywhere I go, people always ask me the same thing: 'Who are you and how did you get in here?'"
"Worst breakup ever. He bit me!"
"Ooh, and he's single?"
"He is now! Good luck."
“All the things I’ve done to living people, and you’re really here to take me to task for disrespecting the dead?”
“Since he’s immortal, he doesn’t have a ‘midlife.’ So I guess he’s decided to just have a constant ongoing crisis.”
“I’m not your friend.”
“You’re not my enemy.”
“There are other options!”
“Your hair looks so soft ...”
"Hey, cut that out. You’re making it really hard to focus on killing you.”
“Ask me anything.”
“Are you OK?”
“Anything but that.”
“Why are you like this?”
“Do you want the short version, the long version, or the fun version?”
“So the doctor just told me I have a severe deficiency of vitamin --”
“That’s impossible. I’m constantly monitoring your location and biological signals, and not only do you not have any vitamin deficiencies, but you haven’t seen a doctor in --”
“You! Vitamin U! It was a pickup line. Why can’t you ever be normal?”
“Someone’s going to die.”
“I hope you mean ‘of fun.’“
“Well, it’ll be fun for me.”
“Here comes a special boy!”
“Please stop saying that every time I enter a room.”
“Try not to die; I’ve become emotionally invested in you.”
“Am I a joke to you?”
“No. Jokes are funny.”
“Are you going to hate yourself in the morning if you do this?”
“In the morning? I hate myself now!”
“Is your refrigerator running?”
“How dare you say that to me on this, the anniversary of the day my grandmother was crushed by a refrigerator!”
“You know what’s cuter than one baby? Two babies!”
“Where did you get those?”