“sebastian, I can’t believe you just did that!”
“hurry before Madam Snelling catches us!”
prank after prank, our laughter echoed through the streets of Hogsmeade, now but a hollow void of what used to be.
Warnings: NSFW, MDNI, characters are 18+, explicit sexual content, religious themes, power imbalance, masturbation, dirty talk, praise kink, oral sex, public sex, unprotected sex
A/N: I have no words for myself for this one
Summary: After deciding to confess a sin you’ve carried for far too long, Father Sebastian has some rather unconventional ways of absolving it.
The cool air was blasting on you in the front seat of your car, causing your dress to ripple like waves across your lap. It was a hot day out and your nerves weren’t helping. Your hands were sticky against the leather steering wheel as you continued gripping it even after parking.
It was a random Thursday afternoon—nothing special about it except maybe how extraordinarily hot out it was. It was your luck to pick a day during a heat wave to go out and about in the world, but you knew you had to. Deep down, guilt had buried itself and was now rising in your chest, clawing across your ribcage like a prisoner begging for freedom.
You waited five more minutes. In those five minutes, nothing changed except for a song on the radio, turned down to a hum. It was time and you knew it, if you waited any longer in your warm car you might melt into a puddle.
When your car door opened, it let in a slight breeze, but it was humid in the air, clinging to your skin. Every step down the pavement brought you closer and closer to you facing the pit in your belly, but your legs kept moving despite your mind’s protest.
The chatter of people living in a small town filled your ears as you strolled. You figured going a few towns over would save you the embarrassment of seeing someone you knew. And this little town only had one of what you were looking for, so you could only hope it was empty.
Your legs carried you up the steps and you were face to face with oak doors, adorned with vines engraved in the wood. As you grasped onto the metal handle, warmed from the sunlight, you felt a pang in your chest. You were so nervous you felt like you might be sick.
Immediately you were hit with the smell of oil, beeswax, and herbs. It was so woody and earthy inside, it began calming your nerves down to a small flame. You hadn’t been to church since you were a little girl, but now seemed as good of a time as ever. You had also only confessed once—the one time you had to.
It felt like it was yesterday, yet somehow so far away. Time was weird like that. You had been nervous then too, when the only sin you were scared of was disrespecting your parents and cursing around your friends. If only little you knew what you were about to do.
It looked very similar to the one you had grown up going to. It had old worn carpet, wooden pews, paintings of the Holy family, and stained glass windows depicting different saints.
A voice broke through your déjà vu. “Can I help you?” He asked.
You glanced around in the area it had trailed from. The room to your right was nearly empty beside a confessional—very old school.
”I’m wanting to confess please,” you replied, slowly approaching the room.
”Come in,” he said, “and kneel on the kneeler.”
After swallowing down the lump that had formed in your throat, you walked into the small room and shut the door behind you. There was a maroon leather kneeler on the ground closest to you and beside it, a tall and wide wooden separator. In the middle of it was a lattice-like screen and through it, there was a shadow of a man, you assumed to be the priest.
The room was small, as if a confessional booth had four walls and a door. There was a small painting of a saint you didn’t know the name of in front of you and lilac velvet was draped over the partition.
You kneeled down with a small creak across the kneeler. The leather was cool against your skin. Through the screen, you could see the outline of the Father who settled more into his seat, though you couldn’t see his face.
You remembered to begin with the sign of the cross, which was a start. “Bless me Father for I have sinned.”
He waited a moment. “And how long has it been since your last confession?”
“Right, sorry. I haven’t been since I was a little girl, so probably over fifteen years ago.”
He huffed a small laugh. “No need to be sorry. What is it you are confessing?”
The lump in your throat came back tenfold. The hem of your dress brushing across your legs suddenly became very interesting as you toyed with the soft material. “I-I’m so embarrassed…Father?,” you replied.
He huffed another laugh, a little louder than the last. “Father Sebastian. And my dear, I have heard it all. I promise there is no judgement here. Please, what are you confessing?”
Your mind flashed back to the nights alone in your bed, when your hand was your only friend… your only vice. “I-I am addicted to pleasuring myself,” you sighed as you squeezed your eyes shut, as if that would lessen the embarrassment.
”I see,” he replied. “You are not alone in this. Many people fall to this obsession, so don’t be so hard on yourself. Why do you think you do such a thing?”
”I-I guess I’ve never thought about that before,” you said. “Probably because I’m so lonely.”
”Does it make you feel less alone?”
”Not really, if anything it makes it worse.”
”That’s understandable. Loneliness is hard to bear. I, myself, even find it hard to navigate at times. Loneliness itself is not a sin, though it may ache like one. It is normal to want to feel a connection, but how we get there is where we fault.”
You nodded your head, though you weren’t sure if he could even see you. “Yes, Father,” you said, just in case.
”Now tell me, how often is it that you find yourself succumbing to your addiction?” He asked.
”Almost every night. I-I do it before I go to sleep, it relaxes me.”
”I understand. Every night is a heavy burden, but remember you are not alone, even when it may feel like you are. This obsession you have, it doesn’t make you any less desirable, it just brings you further from finding peace. And peace is what you seek, is it not?”
”It is, Father. I want to stop.” Your hands were still trailing along your dress as you felt your knees sink deeper into the plush below you.
”You will, you will. Now tell me, what is it you think about while you touch yourself?”
You felt your breath hitch in your throat. How this could possibly be relevant was beyond you, but he was a professional. “I think about being touched… by someone else. Anyone else.”
”Hmm,” he hummed. “It’s not the first time I’ve heard that either. Your sin doesn’t lie in the fact of craving another human connection. You are human after all and we are a loving species, we are created in love.”
What he said did make sense. You wiped your sweaty palms along your clothes to dry them off, but you weren’t prepared for his next request.
”I think in order for me to fully understand your sin, you must show me. Right now. Let me hear the sin you wish to confess. I want to understand the loneliness you’re trying to soothe.”
A part of you wanted to make a run for it, but his voice was so hypnotic, so sultry. It made your knees stay planted on the kneeler below you, maybe even settling more against it. Were you truly about to do what he was asking? “Father, I-I can’t.”
He himself even settled more into his seat, you could hear his chair groan as he sat up and breathed out a low breath. “You can. In order to absolve you, I must fully comprehend your sin, which I cannot do unless you show me. Let me guide you.”
”Yes, Father.” You swallowed down the sick begging to come up. Shakily, you raised the hem of your dress and pressed your hand firmly against your belly and started to snake your way under the elastic of your panties.
With your other hand you held up your dress, while you began chewing your thumb nail down to the quick. The small ruffles of the fabric echoed off the white walls of the small room.
Once your hand was inside of your underwear, you felt a race to your core. Your chest was heaving with nerves as you guided your hand lower, where you were aching.
”That’s it,” he cooed. “Good girl. Do not be afraid, I want to hear you.”
Your finger slid in between your folds, instantly finding your clit. It was warm and damp around your skin. You started with your middle finger and began tracing slow circles around your nub. A small whimper escaped your lips from the contact.
Your cheeks reddened immediately, burning with shame. Your finger stopped shortly after. “I-I’m sorry, Father.”
He took in a small breath. “Don’t stop. I want you to pretend you’re at home, alone in the dark. Bring me there, immerse me.”
Again you nodded your head and began moving your finger lightly. You closed your eyes, imagined yourself kneeling over your mattress. After a few moments, you applied a little more pressure. “Fuck,” you murmured under your breath.
”Just like that. Are you wet for me, baby? Tell me. Is that little pussy dripping while you confess your sins to me?” He purred.
”Y-yes,” you replied. “I-I’m so wet.”
He groaned lowly, followed by the creak of his chair as he readjusted himself. “Go faster. Make yourself come. Be a good girl for me.”
You listened as your nerves settled low in your belly. You were now using your middle and ring fingers to move hastily across your swollen clit. Deep inside you, you could already feel the coil tightening.
”Oh, Father,” you moaned out, dropping your dress with your other hand and grasping onto the wooden wall. It was cool under your fingertips as you dug your nails into the smooth waxed surface.
”You’re doing so well for me. Does it feel good? Fucking yourself while your priest listens?”
It was so filthy, so dirty. You could hardly believe this was the outcome to your arrival, but it was so erotic. Letting a priest you didn’t even know the face of talk you through an orgasm.
No words could form on your mouth, only breaths and sounds from deep within you.
”You’re so close aren’t you?” He asked. “I can hear it in your voice.”
”Yes, I-I’m so close,” you managed to reply.
”Come for me, come all over your fingers. Show me how you sin, I want to hear you fall apart.”
The tension was so taut inside of you, the spring was about to unravel. Your head lulled back while your grip on the wood squeaked. You came with a shuddered cry, echoing slightly in the small space. Your body shook against your fingers as you carried yourself through your high until you relaxed against yourself.
The room was filled with your heaves as you tried to stabilize your breathing. Your body ached for more as you pulled your hand away and you readjusted your dress.
You heard yet another creak, but this time it was followed by the soft thud of footsteps. His shiny black shoe was visible first as it rounded the partition, followed by his tall, toned body.
He was adorned in an all black ensemble with the white clerical collar. His sleeves were rolled to his elbows which only showed off his muscles more. He had deep brown eyes and hair the color of chocolate. His face was covered in freckles. He was handsome, very handsome. As your eyes trailed up his body, they couldn’t help but land on the erection growing in his pants.
”Look at you. So beautifully undone,” he groaned. He walked over to you slowly until he was towering over you. He kneeled down before you and still was a head above you. With his eyes glued to yours, he grabbed your shaking hand and brought your arousal-slicked fingers to his lips. His mouth was so warm as his tongue swirled around your skin. He released them with a small pop. “God you taste like sin. But this was just the beginning of your absolution.”
You nodded, knowing he could see you now. Slowly, he rose back up to stand on his feet. The overhead light shone down through his tousled hair, highlighting the reddish undertones. His hand brushed lightly at your chin as his thumb pulled at your bottom lip. “You look so perfect on your knees. Now I need you to be a good girl and show me how sorry you are.”
The sound of metal unzipping filled the room.
”Father, what are you doing?” You asked, knowing full well what was happening. You just couldn’t believe it. Your mouth salivated at the thought.
”Your penance requires more than spoken apologies and Hail Marys. You need to prove yourself to me.” His hand was still toying with your face as he continued using his other hand to undo his black trousers. Through the slit, deep green boxers were visible. He then pulled his cock out, with precum already glittering on his flesh-toned tip. “Go on, baby. Use that pretty mouth of yours.”
You looked up at him as he watched you slackjawed. Slowly, you licked him from base to tip, gathering up all the salty precum in your mouth. And inch by inch, he pushed past your lips. He was large, you could hardly fit him all in your mouth. What couldn’t fit, you covered with your hand.
He was thick too, stretching your lips around him. The head of his cock hit the back of your throat as you began to bob your head back and forth. You started off sweetly, easing both of you into it, while your hand glided around his base at the same time.
His hands found his way into your hair, weaving between each strand to lock around the roots. Though it was mostly rough, there was still an undertone of gentleness in his actions. He used this new position to his full advantage. His hands cupped around your skull and guided you back and forth on him.
His gentleness started to slip away as he became more comfortable. He quickly was pushing and pulling your head in the way he found most pleasing. He was using you for his pleasure.
And you loved every bit of it.
Your eyes darted up and stayed focused on his as they lulled back in his sockets and he moaned aloud.
You had to fight the urge to gag as he began bucking his hips at the same time. He was completely losing himself in you and it felt so good. Your core was dripping, soaking your panties through and dripping down between your thighs.
“Ah, such a good girl,” he muttered through gritted teeth. “Such a sweet, sinful mouth.”
You moaned around him in response and the vibrations from your mouth made his knees almost buckle in on themselves. He leaned his head back to gather up the strength to continue fucking your face.
Spit began pooling down your chin out the sides of your mouth from his constant thrusting.
“Fuck, look at you,” he cooed. “Drooling around my cock. This is where you belong isn’t it?”
You pulled off his cock with a wet pop. “Yes, Father,” you agreed. And he was immediately back between your lips. Your mouth had felt so empty even for the split second he was out of it. You craved him inside of you, any hole you could get him in.
His cock began pulsing inside of you as your eyes and nose began to sting with tears.
“So pretty with my cock in that tight mouth.” His hands slowed on the pulling as he started to cradle your face instead, like he had done before. “I’m so close.” He held your head still as his thrusting became more frantic. “Agh!” He moaned.
He came with a shudder as your throat was filled with his hot release.
“Swallow it. All of it. It’s part of your penance, baby. Let my come wash you clean from the inside out,” he breathed as he rode out his high inside of your mouth.
You watched his brown starry eyes as you swallowed down every bit of what he gave you while he fucked himself dry.
His body relaxed as his euphoria came to an end. He smirked down at you, still on your knees before him and chuckled a small laugh. “Such a good, obedient girl,” he observed.
You nuzzled your cheek against his hand as you nodded in agreement, almost begging him for more. You were insatiable at this point, needing every bit he could give you.
It was almost like he could read your mind as he chuckled again, lowly. Your eyes stayed planted on him in complete submission as he pulled you to your wobbly feet. Your legs were sore from kneeling for so long, it almost felt good to stand up again. But you knew you would’ve stayed on your knees for hours if he had only asked.
His lips brushed over yours, swollen from the stretch. He licked up around your mouth to gather up the rogue saliva that had escaped. “You’re so sweet.” His breath was warm against your skin.
His lips then captured yours in an achingly slow kiss. Your lips moved in sync with his, but they allowed him full power over you. As he continued to kiss you, you felt yourself being guided backward against the cool partition.
Your back hit the small shelf in front of the lattice screen, one you had assumed was a bible shelf. You knew he had other things in mind for it though as he hesitantly pulled his lips away. “Turn around,” he whispered.
You obeyed and slowly twirled around to face the wooden wall. His hand snaked its way into your hair again and pushed you down until you were completely bent over and at his mercy. Your breasts were resting against the shelf as you heard rustling behind you. He gathered up the hem of your dress and pooled it around your waist. In one fell swoop, he pulled your panties down around your ankles. The cool air hit you instantly and nearly made you collapse against the wood.
“You’re dripping again already for me, aren’t you?” He asked now. The slickness was sticky between your thighs. “So filthy.”
“Yes, Father,” you replied.
You were met with another laugh, hidden mostly by a sigh of relief. “God, I know calling me that just turns you on, doesn’t it baby? You like calling me that? Huh?”
His accusation sent a jolt to your core as you instinctively brushed up against him. “Y-yes,” you moaned as you felt his cock tickle your thigh.
“You’re such a greedy little thing, aren’t you? Begging for my cock? I bet it’s tight for me,” he whispered as he leaned over and pressed a kiss to your shoulder blade. “I’m going to fuck the sin right out of you.” The words danced directly into your ear as chills shivered down your spine.
You glanced back at him as he straightened back up. He lined himself up with your aching hole and wet his tip with your arousal. You were melting like putty in his hands.
Inch by inch, he eased himself inside of you. Stretching out your walls in ways you had only dreamt of. It slightly stung at the sheer intensity of his size and when you thought you couldn’t take any more, he was still pressing deeper.
Finally, you felt his hips press against your backside, meaning he was buried all the way inside of you, deeper than anyone had before.
He all but pulled himself out of you, leaving you feeling empty yet again, and then he slammed back into you. You gasped at the fullness. “Fuck,” you cried.
He waited another moment, allowing you to adjust to him again. He bent over you and splayed his hand underneath you across your abdomen. “You feel me in your stomach? Yeah?” He cooed.
The feeling was too good to even form words. You nodded your head frantically, hoping he would give you even more.
Your back was cold as he stood up once more and placed his hands against your hips to steady himself as he began thrusting in and out of you.
The small and once quiet, sacred room was now filled with the heavy sounds of your panting and the slick noises between you.
“Fuck,” he cursed. “This is your new prayer, your penance. And you’re doing so well for me.”
He started to drill even harsher into you, pushing you harder into the cold partition. Your hand came up to keep yourself from falling over and your fingers each spread into a little hole in the screen to grasp onto. The wood in the lattice wasn’t nearly as smooth as the outside, it felt rough and unsanded under your skin. You pressed your forehead up to the ornate texture, knowing it would leave its mark on you.
It wouldn’t be the only mark you’d walk away with as Father Sebastian’s grip on your hips tightened, enough to leave behind faint bruising.
You whimpered out again. “Oh, F-Father,” you cried. His title was sweet on your lips, it tasted of red wine.
“You’re going to forget the loneliness. The only thing you’ll be able to think of is me filling you so deeply. It’s all you’ll remember.”
You knew it was true, you’d never be able to forget the sensation you were experiencing at that very moment. No hand or toy would ever fuck you the same way.
You felt the coil winding up in your core again, racing you towards a second orgasm.
“P-please,” you started.
“Please what, baby? Use your words,” he breathed.
“Fuck me harder.”
The moment the words left your lips, he quickened his pace. He hit your sensitive spot over and over again, sending shockwaves inside of you, radiating with each thrust.
“You’re so close, aren’t you?” He asked, not letting up. “I want you to come all over my cock. Let me feel it, let me feel how sorry you are again.”
Your breath caught in your throat as you felt yourself begin to tip over the edge. It was like water bursting through a dam—hard and all at once. Your legs were like jelly as you felt the waves crash over you. Father Sebastian held you up even through his own second release.
Warmth filled you up again as he released ribbons inside of you. The slick sound amplified as your arousals mixed together in your core. Combined with the heaves you were both exerting, you suddenly became too aware of your practically public rendezvous.
Your cheeks burned crimson at the thought of someone walking in, or waiting their turn to confess and overhearing everything that had just transpired.
But it was also oh so thrilling.
Father Sebastian pulled himself out of you and began fastening his belt again, the clink of metal filling your ears. You still took a moment to collect yourself and even your breathing, leaving yourself completely exposed to him.
He pulled your dress down to cover your bare side up and cleared his throat, and if you hadn’t known any better you could’ve sworn his cheeks were a light shade of pink too.
When your chest evened out, you stood to collect your bearings and pull up your underwear, still damp from earlier.
It felt so cold against you, you got chills on your bare arms.
Father Sebastian turned to face you again. “You… you took your penance so well.” He smiled. “But I think it’s best if you continue seeing me for more… confessions.”
Your blush deepened. You could look anywhere but his eyes. “Yes,” you agreed.
His thumb found its way to under chin and he gently pulled so you would look up at him. “What was that?”
“Yes, Father.”
Crinkles appeared by his soft, brown eyes as he smiled again. “Good girl.” He released your face.
You smoothed out your dress that had crumpled as it had laid around your waist for so long. “I-I um, I’ll see you next week?” You asked, hopeful he’d agree.
He tasted it, letting the time frame savor on his tongue before speaking. “Next week sounds perfect.”
You began exiting out the door from which you had come in and to your relief, there was no one outside waiting. “Goodbye, Father,” you said. And you were out the door.
"... and most of all, I miss book shopping with you in Hogsmeade, your carefree smile permanently etched in my mind as I carried all your bags. I know you'll never forgive me for what happened with Uncle Solomon, but I hope that wherever you are, you're living your best life."
Warnings: NSFW, MDNI, characters are 18+, explicit sexual content, military, breakups, alcohol, fingering, unprotected sex, cockwarming
A/N: Hello! My military knowledge is US based so that’s where this leans! I know I always say this but this is up there for one of my favorite things I’ve ever written (no one can replace you farmhand Seb)
Also huge thank you to @authorellasallow and @moonlitmuggle for helping me figure stuff out with this :)
Summary: At eighteen, love wasn’t enough to keep you together. At twenty-two, you’re given one last chance to find out if it still can be.
Your days had been looking different lately. Ever since graduating high school, there were no more late nights filled with homework and early mornings walking through the bright lights of your school hallways.
Summer was passing by slowly, which you didn’t mind as you were starting school back up in the fall to study nursing and you weren’t looking forward to those study sessions you heard so much about.
You only had wished it hurried up a little more as your boyfriend of one year was away at tech school for the Air Force and you missed him terribly. You’d never forget the look on Sebastian’s face when he told you his plans of enlisting. No one had ever looked so broken but proud at the same time.
And later on this evening, he was flying back after graduation. He had been through basic training and was coming back after his security forces school. It had been a long three months since he had left—filled with lots of letters and the scarce phone call.
But he was coming back and that’s all that mattered.
You paced your room over and over again, trying to pick out the perfect outfit to see him at the airport. What could possibly be cute enough to wrap up the last few months into a piece of clothing? You weren’t even sure something as such could exist.
You settled on a simple white dress you had worn to your own graduation and curled your hair. After swiping on a pink shade of gloss, you admired your work and kissed your parents goodbye as you headed off to the airport.
His car had been parked in your driveway after you dropped him off. Some nights you’d go out there and sit in the passenger seat and remember him—all the kisses you had shared over the console. It still smelled of him.
This time though, you sat in the driver’s seat as you prepared to pick him up. Every mile the car got closer, more nerves filled your belly. At one point you were sure you’d be sick from the butterflies swarming around at an alarming rate.
As you pulled into the lot, your heart was racing as your palms began sweating against the steering wheel.
About ten minutes from now, you’d be in his arms again and your body would feel anew.
The trip inside of the airport felt longer than it should’ve, but the minutes dragged by as you waited outside his gate. Passengers started pouring out of the long terminal, one by one finding their families or leaving alone.
And then you saw a familiar head of tousled brown hair above the crowd. Even from far away, his freckles were still a stark contrast against his skin, illuminated even more after being under the Texas sun.
A breath hitched in your throat as your feet started running before your mind could decide what to do. Step by step, you weaved between the crowd of people heading into the airport until you saw him standing there with a duffel bag slung over his shoulder.
He was adorned in his service blues—deep blue trousers with the matching jacket. His silver name tag stood out against the navy color, with “Sallow” engraved across the metal.
You stopped for a moment to drink him in. He did the same as he stared you down, not taking his eyes off of you as he placed his bag on the tile floor.
He was too far away to hear but you watched as his mouth formed the words “baby” followed by a breathless smile.
You started running again without stopping this time, not until you were wrapped up in his arms. They surrounded you in the warmest embrace you had felt in a long time, the heat melting the ice wall you had built up ever since he left.
”Sebastian,” you cried into his shoulder.
”Shh, I know, baby, it’s okay,” he cooed into your hair. His hand held your waist tightly against him as the other combed through your hair, cradling your head against him. “I’m here now.”
You shook against him as you sobbed, His hand continued rubbing slow circles against your hips as he held you, with no plans of letting you go.
Your knees gave out beneath you at the sheer intensity of it all and his arms held you as he followed you to the ground. When your legs hit the cool floor, he pulled away to look at you, up close for the first time in months.
His cheeks were strawberry pink and tear stained, his brown eyes glossed over with more tears threatening to escape. He pressed his forehead against yours as he breathed in the same air as you.
“God, I missed you. Your scent,” he said as his lips pressed against yours hastily. “Your lips.”
You pulled him in for another kiss, deeper this time. It was hunger-filled and passionate. The two of you nearly forgot where you were for a moment until he chuckled against your lips.
”I got carried away,” you giggled and sniffled back.
”It’s okay sweetheart, get carried away with me.”
After a few more moments of kneeling with him on the ground, he helped get you back to your feet and walked you out of the airport with his hand woven around yours.
As you stepped into the muggy summer air, he pulled his hat from his pocket and sat it on his head. You knew it was protocol—to wear his hat only outdoors—but he looked too handsome for his own good. Kissing him silly didn’t seem like such a bad idea, no matter where you were.
But you held yourself back and leaned on your tiptoes to give him a quick peck on the cheeks.
”Hey get back here,” he called.
He chased you all the way back to your car until he finally caught up with you and lifted you off the ground.
”No fair! You’re all strong and muscular now,” you squealed as he spun you around.
”Now? What about before?” He teased.
But then he set you down against the door of his car and looked down at you while he tucked a rogue curl behind your ear.
“You look so beautiful,” he whispered.
All that worrying for nothing, of course he was Sebastian and you could’ve shown up in a brown potato sack and hear him say the same thing.
His lips were on yours again as you felt the cool metal behind your back, chilled from the shadows of the parking garage. His hand laced between the strands of your hair as he held you closely against his body as his lips moved on yours.
His lips felt so soft against your own, like two pillows moving against your mouth. He tasted sweet too, of cinnamon gum and cheap airplane coffee. His cologne filled your senses, moving through the quiet breeze of August. You were surrounded by him in every way possible and you felt so at peace.
He was finally home and so were you.
The drive was peaceful. He drove which gave you the perfect opportunity to stare at him the whole way back to your hometown. You hardly noticed as he pulled you into the parking lot of your favorite local restaurant—where you had your first date.
It served Italian and while it wasn’t nearly as good or fancy as places in the city, it was yours. He skipped over to your door and held it open in the slight drizzle, dropping darkening spots on his coat.
The smell of wet pavement filled the air as you stepped out into the evening, illuminated by already-glowing streetlights.
He held your hand the whole way to the front door and even as you were sat.
Neither of you needed menus as many times as you had frequented the place, but you still looked at him over the top of the laminated sheet making eyes at him.
”You know you don’t need that, sweetheart, you’re just going to get the spaghetti,” he quipped.
”You never know, I might switch it up.”
You didn’t, you never did.
Your waitress took your orders and walked away with the menus, leaving the two of you in your own little bubble—tucked in a corner booth.
He looked at you like he had something to say, and he was eager to get it out.
”Okay, Sallow, spill.”
”Am I that obvious?”
”Terribly so,” you laughed.
He laid a hand out on the wooden table, worn with years of use, and you met him in the middle.
His hands weren’t nearly as soft as they used to be either. Though it wasn’t years worth like the table between you, it felt like it. Callouses were driven into his palms from relentless work and they were dried from the heat.
“I’ve been thinking—“
”Oh no,” you teased and you were met with his sweet laughter.
”I know, I know. But really sweetheart, I have. I know it’s quick, and I just got back, but I swear it’s not just because I was gone. Every day, I thought of you, you were what got me through it all, because I knew you were at home waiting for me. And I could never imagine a life where you’re not there on the other side of it all. I-I got my orders. I’m headed to Germany in a week. And I want you to come… as my wife.”
Your heart dropped. Your hearing went out. You loved him, of course you did. A life with him was all you could ever dream of, but you were barely eighteen, you barely lived. You felt the lump form in your throat—a rock you couldn’t swallow.
“Sebastian…” you breathed. Your voice was shaky along with your hand. “I-“
”I know it’s a lot and it’s not ideal, but please baby, will you marry me? We can go to the courthouse tomorrow and—“
”No,” you whispered as you pulled your hand away.
Sebastian’s face contorted in on itself. His chest heaved visibly under his button up.
“I-I can’t, I’m so sorry.”
You slid across the booth as the leather squeaked beneath you.
”Wait!” He called but you were already out the door.
The rain had started to come down harder when you were inside. It began soaking through your dress, dripping water onto the pavement beneath your feet. The door behind you opened with a creak. The rain above you stopped as Sebastian held his jacket over your head.
”Did I do something wrong?” He asked. “Please tell me and I-I’ll fix it I swear it.”
”No Sebastian, you didn’t. I just—“
”Do you not… do you not love me?” He asked as his lip quivered.
”Of course, I do. More than anything.”
”Then why?”
”I-I don’t know…”
”Baby… I asked you to marry me and you said no. I need more than that.”
He was right. You knew he was.
”Sebastian, we-we’re hardly eighteen. I-we haven’t even lived yet and I… I have plans for my life.”
”Without me in them?”
”No, Seb, it’s not like that and you know it.”
”I-I don’t know what to think anymore.”
”I love you, okay? So much it hurts. I ached without you these past few months, but I just can’t uproot my life and move across the ocean. I-I have school coming up, you know how bad I want that.”
”I know,” he replied. “But what did you think would happen when I got back? That I would get to stay here?”
”I don’t know, maybe? I didn’t know you would just up and leave me.”
He scoffed. “Leave you? If you think that’s what is happening then you must not know me very well. I don’t have a choice.”
”You did when you enlisted!” You yelled over the rain, louder than you meant. “You chose that life over me the day you signed your name.”
”I thought it was our life. I thought I was doing what was best for you—best for us!”
”I would never ask you to do that. I don’t want you to leave, why don’t you get that?”
He breathed out a sigh. “Well I have to. And bottom line is if you want to come with me, you have to come as my wife, okay? But if you say no, we’re done here.”
”Sebastian… I-I can’t,” you sobbed.
Tears on his face began running down, mixing with the rain. “So that’s it then? We’re over just like that?”
The way your heart ached you thought it might actually shatter into a thousand pieces. Your hand flew up and you held on tightly to try and hold it together. You could only respond with a small nod, not daring to say the words. Not daring to end everything you had built.
The last year flashed in your mind. From the moment he tugged on your braid in junior math and you turned around to see him grinning, to your first date where he picked you up in his old beater and kissed you on your parents’ porch, to prom where you slow danced under a disco ball, to now: standing in the rain while your world crumbled.
He dropped the coat and pulled you in for a hug, holding you like you might disappear, because he will disappear for who knows how long. You shuddered against him as you choked out a sob. The one person in the world you wanted, the only one who could fix everything, was leaving and you wouldn’t—couldn’t—go with him.
”Promise me you’ll still write me, yeah? I need to know you’re okay,” he said, kissing the top of your wet head.
”I will, I promise I will. You’re my best friend.”
That broke something in him and he began shaking with a cry as he held you. You couldn’t bear to look up at him, so you just huddled against his chest as the rain continued to pour over you, taking everything you had with it.
The drive home was silent as you stared out the window, memories flashing by with each small building. You were soaked to the bone and shivering against his cool leather seats as he pulled in to your driveway.
This was it, the last time you’d see the love of your life. How does one even begin to cope with that feeling? You were numb down to your toes and had cried yourself dry. You turned to look at him one last time, pink nosed and red cheeked. His lips had swollen up from crying too hard, his eyelids were red-rimmed. The sight nearly broke your already torn heart.
”Kiss me one last time?” He asked, without looking at you, scared of what you might say.
”Sebastian…”
”I know, that was stupid of me,” he sniffled and huffed out a laugh.
You leaned over and kissed him anyway, despite how stupid it may have been—despite how hard it wrecked you. It was quick, over before you wanted it to be. It only made you want to kiss him over and over again, but you couldn’t.
”I’m sorry,” you said as you got out of his car, for the last time, and walked up the porch steps.
His car stayed in place until he knew you were safely inside, like always.
After you stepped inside your house, it still took a moment for his car to pull away. As you watched the red taillights become smaller and smaller, you hurt more and more. You sank to the ground inside your mud room and bawled until you woke your mom.
But you didn’t want her comfort, you wanted—needed—his. How could the one person in the world you want be the one person you can’t have?
The next week went by in a blur. You barely spoke to him, except for a few friendly text messages here and there, but it was awkward and tense.
A month went by even slower. But then your first letter from him came, just as he promised.
He spoke of Germany and his job as a security officer, guarding the base day in and day out. He spoke of new foods he got to try and his roommates on base. He seemed happy and that’s all you could ask for.
You had started school, so you told him about that. You told him about a boy in your class who was an even bigger pest than he was, which was saying a lot. You told him how you got a part time job at the library to fill your evenings when you didn’t have class.
Letters were sent back and forth for a while. But the ache never left you. Seeing his scrawly boyish handwriting every couple weeks was starting to get to you. Your wound was too fresh and couldn’t heal as he kept digging in it.
One day, after you received a letter from him, talking about the usual:his job and his friends, you cried yourself to sleep. Normally you’d write back to him right away, but this time took longer. You knew what you had to do, you just couldn’t do it.
Until a few days later, you sat at your desk and with a shaking hand, you put pen to paper.
Dear Sebastian,
I’m sorry.
You crumbled it up and threw it in the trash. You did that several more times until you just let your heart take over.
Dear Sebastian,
I have tried writing this so many times, but no words I can come up with do the right thing. So I just have to come out and say it. Writing to you hurts too much. I miss you more than I ever thought possible and doing this keeps ripping me open. This is the last time I can write to you. I’m sorry. I hope nothing but the best for you.
It sounded so formal, almost too formal for what you were. But if you delved in too much you’d say too much and it needed to be quick—like ripping off a bandaid.
You folded it up and stuck it in an envelope, tasting the bitter glue as you licked the seal. A tear dropped on the paper, crumbling it on contact as you wrote his address on the back.
You never heard from Sebastian again.
Four years later…
It had been a long day in the labor and delivery unit. Your feet were sore from walking around the ward all day, but nothing was more rewarding. It was always a good day when you got to help deliver a baby, but two! That called for a celebration.
”See you at The Beach?” Your coworker asked.
”Obviously,” you replied.
A sex on the beach was calling your name like no other. Nothing could calm your nerves like a good drink.
You finished up charting before clocking out. Your ID badge jingled across your chest as you strolled down the bright white hall. You took a breath of relief as you walked out the double doors and to your car.
It was a short drive home as you had decided to work in your hometown, you actually lived only a few blocks away from your parents now in a place you’ve made home.
You walked in and were greeted by your dog who had been waiting (not so) patiently for your arrival home. You gave him more food and water, pet his fluffy head, and headed towards your room.
Your scrubs were thrown off in haste and tossed into your ever-growing pile of laundry.
”What outfit says ‘I just had an awesome day at work, but I still need a drink after my shift’, Bud?”
Your dog laid on the carpet with a hmph, knowing you were about to leave him again.
”I don’t know either, that’s why I asked you.”
You landed on a white dress, pantyhose, and a denim jacket.
“How do I look?” You asked aloud as you spun in front of your full-length mirror.
Your dog still gave you puppy dog eyes.
”I know, honey, I’ll be back.”
You grabbed your small purse off the dinner table and headed out your back door.
The walk to The Beach wasn’t too far either—perks of living in a small town.
It used to be your favorite restaurant actually, but it had been years since you'd been there. It was recently bought out and turned into a vibrant bar. And Friday nights were karaoke night.
Loud, thumping music was shaking the floor as you stepped inside and found your friends at a table.
”And a sex on the beach for the lovely lady,” one said, handing you the pink drink.
”Oh, you shouldn’t have,” you replied with a smirk.
A few drinks in and you and a couple girls felt bold enough to sign up—for one song.
The DJ showed you his list.
”How about “Don’t Stop Believin’’,” one suggested.
”Boring!” The other chimed in.
”We have to do a classic,” you said. “I vote ‘Super Trouper’.”
Your two friends’ faces lit up instantly.
”We’ll be like Donna and the Dynamos,” one beamed drunkenly.
“Okay hun,” you laughed with a shaking head.
You got a three second countdown and you began singing the intro.
The crowd immediately went crazy, who doesn’t love ABBA?
You were dancing around on stage with your friends. The three of you had silently agreed you’d take the last verse and as you sang “‘Cause somewhere in the crowd there’s you” you dramatically scanned the crowd, that is, until your eyes landed on a familiar body in their military uniform ordering a drink at the bar.
You froze, unable to sing. He looked up and caught your eyes and you felt your chest cave in. Shakily you caught up with the lyrics, that seemed all too fitting. “The sight of you will prove to me I’m still alive.”
You finished the rest of the song in a buzzed haze. You couldn’t get yourself to look towards the bar again, not when he of all people were standing there.
The song ended and you helped bring your friends back to your table. When you went to grab your cup, you realized it was nothing but ice.
”Damn,” you muttered under your breath. “I’ll be back.”
It was like you could hear every footstep as you walked towards the bar. He was sitting on the furthest end of it, but with no people in between you, all you could do was hope he didn’t look up.
”I’ll have a sex on the beach please,” you asked the bartender.
”Is that really you?” you heard that voice ask.
Sebastian Sallow turned to face you. He was wearing a tight fitting beige shirt tucked into his camo uniform pants. It looked like he had just gotten back into town that day. He looked older now, worn by years of military work, but God did he look good. His hair was more managed now than it had been before, but he was still clean shaven. He was still your Sebastian under it all.
”Yeah, it’s me,” you replied.
”Put whatever she got on my tab.”
”You don’t have to do that.”
”Yes I do! Sit sit,” he said, eyeing the barstool next to him. Deep down, you knew your friends were too drunk to even notice your absence, and he did just buy you a drink, so you plopped down on the leather stool beside him.
He even smelled the same, like he still used the same cologne he had in high school—sandalwood. You had told him once that you loved the smell… and you still did.
”So how have you been?” He asked.
”Good!,” you replied as the bartender handed you your drink.
”Are you a nurse now?”
”Yeah, actually a labor and delivery nurse. I just got off my shift and came here with some work friends.” You pointed to where your group was seated. They noticed and started waving and giving thumbs up. “Sorry they’re drunk.”
Sebastian chuckled, deeper than he used to. “It’s okay.” He threw back the amber liquid in his glass—beer presumably—and ordered another.
“Did you just get back? From Germany?”
”Yeah today. My uncle and sister picked me up from the airport. She was a mess,” he laughed. “But I needed a beer, doesn’t compare to the pubs there though.”
”I bet not,” you replied. “Did you notice this used to be—“
”Marco’s? Yeah, sad to see it gone.”
”Me too, but this bar is nice. We needed one, I was tired of going to the next town over.”
”Big drinker are you?” He teased.
”Bold of you to assume.”
He laughed a full belly laugh now. You hated that you missed it.
The conversation began to flow nicely now as he made you laugh harder than you had in a long time.
You were still laughing at a joke he made when he cut through the noise. “So… are you single?” He made eyes at you as he tipped back his beer.
Your laughter ceased. “What?”
”I asked if you were single.”
”But why?”
”Becuase that’s how this works,” he started. “We’re having a nice time and I want to know if I can take you on a date.”
”Sebastian…”
”Is that crazy?”
”Yes! Sebastian we can’t.”
”Why not? Are you not single?”
”No I am, it’s just…”
”Just what?”
You grabbed your purse and headed out of the bar. Sebastian quickly paid his tab and watched you as you walked out of the front door.
It had started to rain when you were inside. You were waiting by a lamp post when the rain suddenly stopped.
Sebastian was standing over you with his jacket hovered above your head.
”Tell me why, please. And I’ll leave you alone.”
“Sebastian…” you breathed. “I just… I’ve moved on. We were kids! Young and stupid. But I’ve grown up. You’ve grown up. We’re different people now.”
”Let me get to know this you. The you that sings ABBA like her life depends on it, the girl who orders a sex on the beach like its water. I want to know that girl.”
You looked at him then, water dripping down his face.
”What if she’s not what she seems?”
”I’m sure she won’t be. We all have secrets, I did things I’m not proud of too.”
You breathed in deeply. “I still can’t.”
”But tell me why!”
You hesitated a moment before blurting out, ”you left me!”
”I left you? You still think that’s what happened? After all these years…”
”You did! I was here and you were gone! I watched your taillights disappear and you never came back!”
”I couldn’t come back! You think after you told me you couldn’t marry me, I wanted to leave? There was nothing more I wanted than to quit and stay here with you. But you know it doesn’t work like that! And when you…” His lip began to shake. “And when you told me that we couldn’t talk anymore, that-that killed me. Your letter wrecked me.”
”You didn’t even fight for me!” You yelled.
”Fight for you? You all but told me to piss off and you wanted me to fight for you?”
”Yes!” You cried. “You don’t know how it feels!”
”I don’t know how it feels? You think I don’t know? I was alone for four years! Four miserable years that I wanted nothing more than to spend with you. And I come back here and can still only think of you, so much so I knew I could only find relief in a drink. And this town only has one damn bar! You think pulling in here I didn’t think of you? The last time I was here?”
You thought of the last time too, every time you found yourself walking in that entrance.
”You think I don’t know how it is when I see the only girl I have ever loved up on stage having the time of her life while I’m still stuck in the past? No, you don’t know how it feels.”
”Sebastian, I-I’m sorry.”
”I just… I just missed you and thought that…”
“You know it hasn’t been easy on me either…”
“It sure as hell seems like it.”
“How dare you!? You really think I didn’t want to go with you? And then have to tell you we can’t talk anymore? Sebastian, I wanted to marry you, so badly. But I couldn’t! I had other dreams too, important ones.”
“More important than me?”
“Yes!” It came out before you could stop it. “I mean… not in the way you’re making it out to be. But yes Sebastian you weren’t my only dream, I wanted the life I’m living so badly. I didn’t want to leave here.”
“Not even for me? For us?”
Tears started stinging your eyes. “It’s more complicated than that.”
“I would have given up everything for you!”
“But I would never ask you to do that! I love you too much!”
He stepped back an inch. “You still love me?” He breathed.
“Fuck!” You spat. “Of course I do. I could never stop loving you no matter how hard I tried. You’re under my skin Sebastian, in all the ways a person can be. I could never scrub you out.”
“Then why did you get so mad at me before? All I did was ask if you were single.”
“I’m scared! Okay? Is that what you want to hear? God I can’t do this! We’re already fighting!” You turned to leave, letting the rain soak you.
“I’m not losing you again, especially here. I can’t stand watching you walk away from me. I will love you until my dying breath, and there’s nothing you can do about that okay? You can’t fight your way out of that one.”
You moved to face him again. His jacket was at his side, dripping water. His shirt clung to his toned body and he was breathing heavy, waiting for your response. He looked so beautiful under the warm streetlight, glowing down on him like the sun.
You cried as your shoulders shook with laughter. “God, we’re a mess.”
He began crying, laughter mixed in too, swiping his hand through his sopping hair.
And then you ran right towards him. Every step pattered with rain. You leapt into his arms and he caught you in a spin. The last four years exploded as your lips caught his in a kiss.
Your mouth moved like a puzzle locking into place against his mouth, like it knew exactly where to go on his lips. His hand trailed into your wet hair and held you against his face as he kissed you back.
“You look as beautiful as the day I left,” he cooed as tears mixed with rain.
You felt your cheeks burn crimson at the compliment as you leaned down to kiss him again.
After a few more moments, he broke the spell. “Let me get you home. Please.”
He set your feet back down on the sidewalk and walked you to his car, all too familiar even in the night.
“You still have it!” You said, referring to his beat up car.
“Sweetheart, I’ve been in Germany for four years, of course I still have it.”
“I just can’t believe it still runs!”
“We’re not that old,” he teased, opening up your car door.
It looked the same on the inside, all leather plush with a black tree freshener dangling from the mirror.
You gave him directions back to your new place.
He stepped out again even in the down pour and opened your door back up, walking you to your front door like teenagers after a first date.
“Maybe I’ll call you?” He asked. “Is your number the same?”
“Why don’t… why don’t you come in?”
“Are you sure?” He asked, as if he wasn’t dying to come inside.
“Yeah, Seb.” You smiled.
You unlocked your front door with a jiggle of your keys and your dog ran to the door. He was attacking you with licks and wagging his tail when he noticed the stranger behind you.
“Who’s this little guy?” Sebastian asked, leaning a hand down to ruffle his head.”
“This is Buddy, he’s my baby,” you replied.
You walked Sebastian further in to your couch.
“Um, you can sit here while I go change. Do you want a towel or something?”
“Yeah, that would be perfect.”
You exited the room and headed towards your bedroom, padding down the carpeted hallway. You towel dried your hair and changed into pajamas when the nerves started setting in.
Sebastian was out there sitting on your couch and you could hardly believe it.
You walked back out with a towel in hand to give to him. Your fingers brushed and it sent electricity shooting down your arm. As you sat next to him on the couch, you watched in a daze as he dried off his hair.
“Now you look a mess,” you laughed.
“Speak for yourself,” he quipped.
You got comfortable next to him, pulling your knees underneath yourself to huddle into a ball.
“So, how was Germany?”
“I hate to say it but it was amazing. It’s beautiful. Oh and the food… it’s to die for. I ate schnitzel almost every day for a week when I first arrived. …You would’ve loved it.”
“It sounds amazing, I-I’m sure I would’ve…” you trailed off. “But—“
“I know,” he interrupted. “I know. Your house is nice, and you have a dog!”
“I do! He’s two.”
As if on cue, Buddy jumped onto your lap and started kissing all over your face. You were a giggling mess when Sebastian spoke up again.
“Sweetheart?”
You looked up at him now. He’d called you that several times by now and each time it broke you more than the last. You moved your dog back to the floor who went off to his bed in the corner. “Yeah?”
“I meant what I said earlier. You look so beautiful, exactly as I remember you.”
“Thank you,” you blushed. “You look the same too.”
“Is that a good thing?”
“Very much.”
You moved closer now, almost touching your knee to his. His arm was on the back of the couch and it nearly brushed your shoulder.”
“Did you mean what you said? That you still love me?”
He was illuminated by your lamp in your living room, the warm glow accentuating his freckles. He looked younger almost. It was like you had been taken back four years.
“Y-yes,” you admitted. “I do, but things are still, things are still complicated you know?”
“They don’t have to be. I-I’m not leaving again. I… I decided to join the reserves instead. There’s people here I couldn’t stand being away from again.”
“That doesn’t mean things can just go back to how they were before. We’re different people now.”
“You kissed me out there, in the rain. And you expect me to sit here on your couch, seeing how beautiful you look completely unraveled, and expect me not to want to kiss you again?”
“I—“
“I won’t, you know I won’t unless you want me to. But God I want to kiss you silly,” he whispered as he moved his hand from the couch to your cheek.
You did too, deep down you knew you did. He looked too pretty not to kiss until his lips were swollen. You nuzzled against his warm hand and turned to press a light kiss to his palm.
He visibly swallowed and took in a deep breath at your touch. And then you felt your body gravitating to his like a magnet pull. Nothing could stop you as you leaned in to him.
“Oh sweetheart,” he murmured right before your lips crash landed on his.
It was a soft kiss at first, unlike the one you shared under the lamp post. It was shy and gentle like you were reexploring each other—as if you’d ever forget what he tasted like.
During the kiss, his other hand fell to your waist, drawing small circles under the hem of your shirt with his thumb.
You let him pull you onto his lap where you straddled your legs on each side of his hips, digging into your couch as you pressed against his chest with your own.
The kiss turned heavier then, he licked across your bottom lip, begging for entrance and you granted it. No one could kiss you like he does, no one could even come close.
He groaned into your mouth before pulling away and resting his forehead against yours. “I missed you so much. Every night I thought of you, I swear it.”
“Kiss me again,” you pleaded.
It took him all but a second to reconnect his lips to yours. It was deeper, hungrier. His hand slid from your cheek and into your hair, intertwining right at the damp roots. His breath caught in his throat at the contact, the passionateness of your kiss.
“If we don’t stop now, I don’t think I’ll be able to hold myself back from you,” he heaved into your mouth.
“Don’t stop,” you replied and kissed him again.
His lips trailed down your mouth to your jawline, where he left hot, open-mouthed kisses along your skin. He continued trailing down until his lips were pressed against the sensitive spot below your ear—the spot he knew you loved best.
He nipped at it until you lurched on his lap and then he soothed the area with his tongue. He did it over and over again until you were melting like putty in his hands.
And then he kissed you once more and in one fell swoop, he gathered you up and lifted you off the couch, not removing his lips from yours for a second, as he carried you down the hall into your bedroom.
You ran into the wall a couple of times from the messiness of your kiss, keeping him off balance as he tried to remove his boots at the same time. There was a trail of clothing like a map leading from the living room down the hall.
Your shirt had been discarded in the chaos and once he laid you on your bed, he took you in. His eyes darkened with lust at the sight of you—bra and pajama shorts with messy hair.
He lifted his shirt off of him, throwing it to the ground before crawling over top of you. He was toned. Where a boy had once stood, was now a man, and the sight made you gulp.
His dog tags tickled your skin as he made out with your chest. His hand massaged your breast over your padded bra, your nipples already sensitive against the cloth. He pulled it down and gasped quietly at the sight.
His mouth was around your nipples in the next moment, sucking and nibbling at your sensitive bud until you arched into his touch. He used his other hand to twist and pinch your other nub until it hardened beneath his fingertips.
“Fuck,” you cried.
You reached down and could feel his erection pressing against his camo pants, urging to be released. His hand laid over top of yours and held it there as he continued sucking your breast into his wet mouth.
That is, until you squeezed your hand around his clothed cock once and he shuddered, resting his head against your chest to take a breath.
“Baby,” he murmured against your skin.
You did it again, but this time you moved your hand along his shaft. He groaned and huffed a laugh.
The sound of his belt unbuckling filled the air. He stood up and pulled down his boxers and pants all at once.
His cock was rock hard against his thigh as he stood there watching you watch him. It made your core ache.
“Is this what you wanted?” He asked as he got back onto the bed.
You nodded your head against your duvet. “Y-yes. Please.”
Your hand was around his cock then, warm and hard to the touch. You could feel as the blood pulsed to his tip, making his veins convulse. Your hand started to move up and down on his length making him moan under his breath.
Your hand was left bare in the next moment as he scooted himself against your headboard. “Come here baby,” he cooed.
You followed his instructions and sat with your back against his chest and his cock was pressed roughly against your bare back. He slid your panties and shorts down at the same time and pooled them on the edge of your bed.
The coolness in the air brushed lightly against your heat, causing you to shiver. Sebastian brought a hand around from behind you and traced down your belly until he was right where you wanted him—where you needed him.
“Four years sweetheart. Four years I dreamt of his moment and you’re not leaving this bed until you’re screaming my name. I need to hear it,” he purred directly into your ear. It sent a chill down your spine.
His middle finger started tracing your clit—teasingly slow at first. He started to build up more pressure as he toyed with your sensitive bud. His other hand came around you and held gently onto your neck, not choking you but holding you there. You lulled your head back against his shoulder as he built up speed.
“Sebastian…” you moaned against his jaw.
“That’s a start,” he replied.
He inserted his finger into you and it ached around his skin. After a few pumps to ease you into it, he put in his ring finger alongside his middle. It stretched you out as he pushed inside of you until he was knuckles deep.
He curled his fingers inside of you and pumped in and out, setting a delicious pace while hitting your sensitive spot over and over again. You arched your back against his chest as you felt your core race towards a high.
“That’s it baby, I can feel you squeezing my fingers. You’re gonna come for me, aren’t you?”
He used his arm to hold you still against him as he fingered you relentlessly. You tried squirming from the feeling but his hold on you was too tight.
You moaned out again, nothing coherent as he picked up his pace.
You were a writhing mess, rubbing skin against skin as he held you as close to him as he could. Already you could feel the winding up in your belly.
“Are you gonna come for me?”
You nodded your head against his shoulder.
“ I wanna hear you,” he replied.
“I-I’m gonna come.”
“Oh yeah? I want you to come all over my fingers. Make me a mess.”
His hand on your throat moved slightly as he began trailing his thumb along your bottom lip, playing with the soft pink skin.
The coil wound too tight and you couldn’t handle it anymore. You released with a loud trembling whimper, filling the quiet room around you. Sebastian watched in awe as you came around his digits as he continued pumping in and out of you, draining you until you slouched against him.
Your eyes landed on his as he reached his fingers up to his mouth and swirled them in his mouth before releasing them with a quiet pop.
A groan was laced with his voice as he said, “you taste even better than I remember.”
Your hands were on his cheeks in an instant and pulling him towards your face and in a hasty scramble. He tasted of your own sweet arousal mixed with the hoppy lager he had drank at the bar.
Keeping your lips on his, you carefully turned around and straddled his lap again, only this time there were no clothes to keep you separated. His cock sprang up and hit your bottom side as you continued kissing him.
Slowly, you started grinding your hips, letting your slit leak all over his cock.
“Don’t tease me, please,” he begged.
You looked at the way his eyes pleaded with you. His face was washed in blue moonlight beaming in from an opening in your curtains. It cut right across his nose and shone solely on one eye, making the honey in his iris glow.
Your lips brushed along his and you cheekily smiled as you reached down and lined his erection up with your entrance. You sat down gradually, seeing the way his eyes rolled to the back of his head as you became completely seated.
You were breathing into each others’ opened mouths for a few moments to allow each other time to adjust. The headboard was cool against your fingers as you moved one hand back to hold yourself steady. Your hips started to rock back and forth across his lap.
Every back thrust had him hitting your spot sending shockwaves radiating to your core. You felt his calloused hands set themselves on each side of your hips as a gentle guide. He held you sweetly and looked up at you as you grinded on him.
“That’s it baby, just like that,” he breathed. “Use me.”
The room was filled with the sound of skin sliding across skin and heavy breaths, mixed with the soft sounds of the crickets chirping outside.
You gained more confidence and increased your speed. His hands wrapped around your back to keep up with the new pace.
“S-Sebastian, fuck you feel so good,” you whined.
“Yeah baby?”
You nodded your head against his lips.
The next thing you felt was being lifted up as Sebastian turned your bodies around so he was hovering over top of you.
He took your legs and hooked his arms under your knees and began pounding into you, at a whole new depth.
You were a moaning mess and you tried to grab a hold of something—anything. They both clung to the pillows on either side of your head and you gave the delicate material a death grip.
“How’s that?” He asked as he rammed into you.
“Good, so fucking good.”
Every thrust had his pelvic bone hitting your clit and alongside with how deep he was hitting you, you were speeding towards another orgasm.
The euphoric feeling made your toes curl and your fingers tighten even harder around your pillows.
“You’re so tight, it’s like you were made for me,” he murmured.
Your hands released the pillows and found their way to his shoulders where you pulled him even closer down to you. As he drilled into you, your nails created moon-shaped divots in his back.
“That’s it sweetheart, mark me.”
His thrusts were starting to become erratic, so you knew he was getting close. And the way you were pulsing around him, you were about to fall apart at the seams.
“Sebastian, I’m so close!”
“Say my name again, louder,” groaned.
“Sebastian!”
You felt your body vibrate around him, sending ripples down your skin. It was electrifying, making your fingers and toes go numb. You closed your eyes and saw stars like fireworks going off behind your lids.
Sebastian grunted and stilled inside of you as he released himself all over your inner walls, painting everything white.
As he started to pull out you stopped him.
“What’s the matter?” He turned his head to glance down at you.
“What if you just… what if you just stayed inside?” You asked shyly.
He smirked and breathed out a small chuckle. “Anything for you my love.”
He laid beside you, spooning you from behind with his cock still buried deep inside of you. You missed his warmth and you weren’t about to let him go that easily.
He pressed light kisses across your bare shoulder blades. “I never thought I’d have this again,” he sighed. “Now I’m never letting you go.”
You settled in against his chest and let sleep find you peacefully, for the first time in a long time.
Warnings: NSFW, MDNI, characters are 18+, explicit sexual content, phone sex, dirty talk, praise kink, oral sex, unprotected sex
A/N: this is in honor of reaching 2k reads on Wattpad! Also this is very dialogue heavy which isn’t my strong suit but I tried something new with this! It was so fun writing though :)
Summary: You live alone and one night you’re feeling lonely. Deciding to call the phone sex hot line, the last thing you’re expecting is who picks up on the other end—your best friend.
You paced your apartment a few times. Nights were when you got lonely, living in your own apartment with no roommates. But tonight, it was a different kind of lonely.
The aching-in-your-core kind of lonely.
The kind where you contemplated putting new batteries in your vibrator that you had run dead a few nights ago. But you weren’t sure that would even suffice this time.
You sat down, going to a website you know you shouldn’t go to when a flashing ad pops up in the corner. Kinky Connections Chatline with a glowing phone number beneath. The thought had crossed your mind before, but you had never tried it. But desperate times called for desperate measures.
Your heart pounded in your chest as you dial up the phone number and you’re immediately hit with their dial tone as you wait to be connected. But as you wait, the regret starts to sink in—a pit in your chest and a lump in your throat form.
But before you can talk yourself out of it, the line connects.
And a smooth, familiar voice fills your ear. It’s dripping with sex as he breathes into the phone. “Hello there, sweetheart. I’ve been waiting for your call. What can I do for you tonight?”
Immediately, your blood runs cold, your heart stops. It’s him, you would recognize that voice anywhere.
Sebastian Sallow, your best friend. The only person in the world who knows you inside and out, who can make you laugh until you cry. And the one you secretly dream about.
You can’t help but gasp into the line. “Sebastian?” But then you hang up before he can answer.
Your cell phone drops to the floor in a quiet thud as it hits the carpet. You begin pacing again, wondering what the hell you had just gotten yourself into. The only sounds filling your apartment are your rapid breaths, each one more frantic than the last.
Had you really just called a sex hotline only to be met with the voice of your dearest friend? Your face burns crimson as you think about what he said.
The next thing you know, your cell phone is vibrating. You lean down to pick it up and are met with Sebastian’s name going across the screen.
Maybe if you just play it off, he won’t know it was you.
You slide your finger across the answer bubble and place the phone next to your ear, taking in a deep breath.
”Hey!” You say, trying to sound calm and collected.
“That was not how I imagined you finding out about my…other job.” His voice sounded more like him. “Are you okay?”
Fuck.
Your cheeks burn again. “Yeah I-I’m just embarrassed.”
”Don’t be embarrassed. I’m the one who should be embarrassed. My best friend just called me for phone sex,” he laughed.
His laughter on the other end made your mind relax… but something deep inside of you tense up.
“Hearing you say my name sounded so good…” he trailed off.
“Yeah?” You ask, beginning to play his game.
”Yeah,” he huffed another laugh. “But don’t feel pressured. We can hang up right now and pretend this never happened. I can connect you to someone else if you want.”
”I-“ you started and pressed your phone to your chest, gathering up the courage. This was his job, you can let him do his job. “I don’t want to hang up.”
You hear him curse under his breath. “That’s my girl. I need you to lie back for me, baby. When you do, just close your eyes and listen to my voice. Can you do that for me?”
You nod your head against your phone. “Y-yes.”
You head towards your bedroom and lay out on top of your comforter, closing your eyes.
”Good girl,” he purred. “Tell me what you’re wearing, so I can picture you.”
You look down at your outfit, conveniently wearing an old shirt of his he had left at your house. You giggle lightly as you begin to speak. “Your old shirt. The one you got when we went to the beach.”
”Fuck, sweetheart that’s perfect. You can smell me on it can’t you? Is it soft against your skin? I need you to lay your hand on your stomach, we’re going to warm up, okay?”
You reach your hand under the hem of the shirt and rest it gently against your stomach just like he had asked, heat pooling in your core.
”Now, tell me what you’re wearing underneath.”
”Just… just my underwear.”
”What color? Are you wearing something dirty just for me?”
As the conversation goes on, you can feel him settle more comfortably into his role by the tone in his voice. He was still him but with a professional mask layered over top.
”Lace. I’m wearing black lace panties.”
A sharp inhale rattles through the line and you can hear him shifting in his seat. You imagined him in his own apartment, probably sitting comfortably on his leather couch you had sat on plenty of times.
”Now, touch yourself through the fabric baby. Just a light press against your panties, enough to make you ache for me.”
You trailed your hand from your soft skin on your stomach, down your navel, and right where you wanted Sebastian to be. You could feel your wetness seeping through the fabric already and the conversation had barely even started. A breath hitched in your throat at the contact.
”That’s it, just like that. Let me hear you. Are you wet already for me? Just from my voice?”
”Mhm,” you agreed, too afraid to speak the words.
“I want you to reach your hand inside and circle your clit for me. Nice and slow. Tease yourself.”
When you reach for your clit, you can’t help but let a small whimper escape your lips. You were even wetter than you thought as you began to take the pad of your middle finger in painfully slow circles. You whimpered out before you could stop it.
”Does it feel good? Tell me, baby. Tell me what you want me to do.”
”Don’t stop talking,” you plea as you slightly pick up the pace and arch into his absent touch.
”I’m not going anywhere. I’ve got you. Keep circling that sweet clit of yours for me. Keep your eyes closed and imagine it's my tongue, swirling around you slowly. I would take my time with you until you were begging. I would lick up every bit you gave to me. Fuck, I wish I could see you right now, dripping for me.”
The image he was painting vividly in your mind was almost too much to bear. It was almost like you could feel the way his tousled brown hair tickled the inside of your thigh as his warm tongue enveloped you whole while his chocolate eyes stared you down.
“Now, I want you to slip a finger inside of you. Just one for right now. I want to hear how wet you really are for me,” he softly demanded.
Your finger stretched out your walls, swollen with desire. Your walls pulsed around your skin once as you settled inside of yourself.
“Sebastian,” you breathed.
”That’s it baby. I can hear how soaked you are. All that just from my voice?”
”Y-yes.” Your finger continued to slowly ease inside of you, followed by more whimpers as you reached your knuckles.
”Now start pumping it in and out, take your time, don’t go too fast yet. Tell me what you’re thinking about.”
Through your lowered inhibitions and sudden boldness, you said, “I’m thinking about you.”
”Oh yeah? Tell me what part of me you’re thinking about?” His voice was lower now, growling for an answer, but when you took too long to reply, he started back up again. “Are you thinking about my mouth on your tits? Sucking those perky nipples of yours until you’re writing beneath me? Or my hand between your legs?”
”I-I’m thinking about you… inside of me.”
”Fuck baby. You’re such a good girl. I want you to add another finger inside of you, can you do that for me?”
You add in your ring finger alongside your middle, stretching you out even more than before.
”I want you to imagine your fingers are my cock stretching out your tight little cunt, filling you up so deeply until your legs are shaking around me. I would start slowly with my tip, circling it around your hole until it ached so much it hurt. And then I would inch myself into you until you couldn’t take any more of me. You’d like that wouldn’t you, sweetheart?”
”Mhm,” you replied, laced with a moan.
“You’re getting close aren’t you? I can hear it in your breaths. I know you’re getting so fucking tight around my cock. Don’t stop, I want you to come apart while you imagine it’s me stretching you out.”
You could feel the way your core began winding up, deep inside your belly. You were so close to coming you could almost taste the euphoria on your tongue.
”Please keep going,” you begged.
”Let go, baby. Come all over my cock. Imagine I’m there thrusting into you, so hard and deep as I drive you over the edge. Fuck, I can hear it now. You want to come don’t you?”
An orgasm was rapidly approaching for you, you were so close that your mind couldn’t come up with words, so you just whimpered into your phone.
”Come for me, baby, fall apart on me.”
The waves came crashing down, carrying you through a drift of stars behind your closed eyelids. A sharp cry caught in your throat as you rode out your high on your fingers, dripping your slickness down your palm. Your phone gently slipped out of your hand as you gripped tightly to your fluffy duvet.
Even without the phone pressed to your ear, you could hear Sebastian begin speaking again as you settled into your mattress. “Fuck, listen to you. So beautiful when you break apart for me.”
You picked your phone back up and listened as he continued.
”How do you feel, sweetheart? Talk to me.”
”I can’t believe we just did that…” you whispered.
He chuckled on the other end as he took in a deep breath. “I can. I’ve thought about it more times than I can count,” he admitted.
Part of you couldn’t tell if this was still a part of his act or not. But you bit the bullet and asked anyway. “Can you… can you come over?”
Immediately you’re met with the sound of rustling clothes like he’s standing up, and the jingling of keys. “I… are you sure? This… this changes everything.”
”Please hurry.”
”Shit, okay sweetheart. Stay in your bed, keep my shirt on, okay?”
The line goes dead.
You spend the next ten minutes lying in wait, letting the ache build back up in your core as you thought about what you just did with your best friend—the one who was on his way to you right now to make your fantasies about him come true.
What if it had all been a part of the character he plays? What if he shows up and is just Sebastian again—your best friend?
Your thoughts are interrupted by the sound of him using his copy of your key to jiggle open the door, echoing off the silent walls as you feel the blush creep up your neck.
A few moments later, he’s standing with a heaving chest in your bedroom doorway.
You stare at each other a moment before he comes walking over to you, crawling onto your bed and over top of your body.
“Seb?” You ask as he hovers over top of you.
“Yeah, baby?”
That term again… it made your stomach flip in on itself.
“Was… was that all an act?”
He crashed his lips onto yours in a starving kiss as his answer, sucking in your bottom lip into his wet mouth and nibbling lightly.
He smelled of the wet pavement outside from the rain and his spiced cologne. His hoodie was still cold and damp from walking in from his car as you tugged at it, signaling you wanted him to take it off.
He slipped it over his head swiftly before finding your lips again with his. “I truly have thought about this too much, I swear it. It wasn’t an act with you.”
You brought your hands up to grasp onto his freckle-dusted cheeks and he groaned as he smelled your arousal on your fingers.
His lips gravitated towards your dominant hand and he licked from your palm to your fingertips. “Baby, you taste even better than I imagined.”
A whimper caught in your throat at the sight of him sucking delicately on your middle and ring fingers, lapping up every ounce of wetness you had left behind.
He got lost in the moment before he locked eyes with you and leaned back down. You could taste your sweetness on his lips combined with the mintiness of his breath. He was getting harder by the second as you could feel his growing erection through his sweatpants, pressed up against your thigh.
”Please Sebastian,” you whispered, unable to take a second longer without him inside of you.
“You look so sexy in my shirt,” he murmured against your skin as he trailed down your neck. “I’m going to take my time with you, just like I said I would.”
His warm hands eased under the hem of the shirt you were wearing until they were met with your breasts, perky under the cloth. He lifted it slowly to reveal them both to him and you could swear he gasped out loud.
He brought one of your nipples into his mouth and swirled his tongue around your bud. But he made sure to pay attention to your other side with his hand, pinching your peak in between his thumb and forefinger until it was hard against the pads of his fingers.
His teeth grazed over the nipple in his mouth as he continued sucking on you. He let go with a soft pop. He pressed gentle kisses down your belly until his lips were lingering over your black lace panties.
”These are devastating on you,” he cooed. He slid them down your thighs until they were a pooled mess at the edge of your bed. And then he spread your thighs apart and drank in the sight of you. “Such a pretty little pussy.”
He lowered his face between your legs and dragged a tongue up between your folds. This… this was the exact image you had in your mind earlier, it felt like a gust of deja vu though it hadn’t truly happened before.
You raked your fingers between his brunette strands as he made circles around your clit with his tongue, switching between points of pressure.
“Sebastian…” you cried.
”Say my name again, baby.”
You breathed out his name again like a plea, desperate for more.
He replaced his tongue with his thumb, rubbing against your nub as he started sucking your inner thigh. The skin was sensitive under his mouth as he began leaving behind love marks on your bare skin. It tickled as his faint stubble brushed against you and combined with the pressure in your core, it nearly tore you apart.
You arched your back up off your mattress as you raced closer to a second orgasm.
And then you hit a wall.
”Not yet, baby. I want you to come apart all over my cock. Can you do that for me?” He asked, flashing your mind back to his voice muffled by phone lines.
You nodded your head as he swung off your bed and pulled down his sweatpants. Underneath, he was wearing green flannel boxers and you could see the hard line of his erection pressed against the thin material.
In another swoop, he stepped out of them, springing his cock free.
He was bigger than you imagined—and you did imagine. His tip was flesh-toned and he was freckled slightly down his shaft, matching the ones adorning his face and chest. You had seen him shirtless, sure, but this was different.
He was mesmerizing to look at.
”Can I take this off?” He asked, tugging at his shirt covering your body.
You nodded again. He helped you pull it over your head and now you were both left completely bare.
He was over top of you in an instant, never taking his eyes off of you.
”I’ll go slow, okay?”
He lined himself up with your entrance and eased himself in.
Your chest hollowed out with a deep breath as you felt him stretch you to the brim.
”Fuck, you’re so tight,” he groaned.
You felt every vein as he pressed further into you, pulsing around him as he buried himself to the hilt.
”You feel so good, Seb.”
”Yeah baby? You’re otherworldly," he replied as he moved a strand of hair from your face. He slowly pulled out of you until all that was left inside of you was his tip and then he eased himself back in. “Is this what you wanted? What you imagined on the phone?”
“Y-yes,” you whimpered.
He picked up his pace and began thrusting into you deeply, hitting your spot every time.
”Right there? You like that?”
You answered by pulling his face to yours and brushing your lips against his, nodding your head. “Please don’t stop.”
The rain hit the window harder now, in time with your beating heart. The sun had completely set by now, so the only light shining in the room was a warm streetlight casting lines from the blinds across your moving bodies.
His thrust started to become erratic, signaling he was headed straight towards his release.
The spring in your belly was winding up again too, tighter and tighter each time he hit your spot deep within you.
“I want you to come for me. Come all over my cock, baby, please.”
His words sent you overboard, electricity shot from your core to every tip of your body as you shook around him.
“That’s it baby, just like that,” he gushed.
”Sebastian,” you shuddered as you came around him.
You felt as he chased his own orgasm, painting your insides white with hot strings of his release. He continued driving into you until he was empty, collapsing on the pillow beside you.
Neither of you spoke for a few minutes. The only sounds filling the room were your heavy breaths and the raindrops hitting your window.
”Sebastian…” you started.
”Let me get you cleaned up.”
He stood up then and went to the bathroom he had been in hundreds of times and returned with a damp towel, insisting on wiping you up.
No more words were spoken even as he helped you redress into his worn shirt and he back into his sweats.
He laid beside you again, your breaths more calm now, and wrapped an arm around you.
”You know, I truly have thought about that for a long time,” he said against your hairline.
”You have?”
He nodded his head, you felt his stubble rub against your skin, sending shivers down your spine. “Millions of times. And none of them compare to the real thing.”
”I-I’m glad I called and you picked up.”
”Me too, sweetheart.”
You fell asleep in his arms, knowing you would wake up in the morning to your world completely changed.
summary: Sebastian Sallow loses the World Cup against England, and he can’t stand watching you be there for the rival team despite leaving you five years ago.
Empathetic, you go find him post-game.
warnings: literally a bit of plot with pure smut. possessive/stubborn seb. if ur a minor please don’t read this shit pls. lmao. idiots in love. i cant help it sorry. terriorial seb? sorry garreth.
a/n: in honor of the sexy ass players in the world cup lbvs. this one is for @amazonabxtch and @dianamagritte. that restricted section on discord crazy you freaky deekies damn. also thank u to my witness skye (@thesjway) for witnessing me write this shit in 10 hours RAW LOL.
ao3 link
The stadium had been super loud.
There was a thought that ran through you where you couldn’t understand what was louder. The entire crowd surrounding you in the stands or the pounding pulses inside your chest from the outcomes of the entire match.
Scotland was down by one.
They lost. Humiliatingly, Scotland lost.
“Yes—I won the fucking bet. Girl, we won!”
Your eyes flinched a little at the rush and adrenaline push Nellie motioned at you. Of course, she did. You were all from England.
“I knew Weasley wouldn’t let us down since grade seven! I bloody knew he would ace it til’ the end professionally and give us the cup!” Prewett jolted behind you.
Weasley. Garreth Weasley.
Right. The quick, temporary distraction you outdid yourself with a few years back. Right before he made it to professional football.
The cute little distraction from attempting to move on from your ex, Sebastian Sallow.
The opponent tonight.
A dry breath emitted out of you, your eyes darting to the red head from afar in the stadium, attempting to try to find a focus on his popularity.
Garreth flashed a smile, tilting his head, and jogged backward, almost nearing your specific group of the crowd wanting to greet his old school friends for support.
The crowd roared again as he neared.
Sweaty and all, the England jersey slid off him, but despite the privilege of being with him in the past — your attention was elsewhere.
You were studying the opposing team in the field.
A specific player you'd spotted since the beginning, but attempted to ignore.
The tinted blue and white fabric bled through the sweat across his chest and shoulders, molding every sharp line from him without trying as he breathed harder than usual from the yells of the loss.
The long sleeves of his shirt were pushed tight and muddy around the biceps — fuck, you couldn’t remember them being this toned during your time together. Were they always?
No, what the hell were you doing?
You two were over. Five years ago.
Sebastian Sallow could feel the mocking numbers of the final score watching him. He could hear the unnecessary commentary over the post-match results.
The fuck-ass crowd from afar cheering over his school rival.
He’d known that the entire game with Weasley was going to be another bit of arrogance between the two enemies, but now it was in the world’s biggest game.
And unfortunately, he lost this time.
He dragged his tongue along the inside of his cheek, trying to swallow the bitter annoyance he had over the cheering crowd from afar, but as he attempted to set his shoulders and shake the sweaty brown tousles from his forehead, he paused.
There you were.
At first, he thought his mind had made you up for comfort.
No. You were right there, surrounded by red and white, getting swallowed by the very same crowd cheering against him.
Sebastian’s jaw tightened, and he had to look away.
He had to seriously look away because you hadn’t changed. If anything, you had only gotten older and prettier.
Everyone knew that. He knew that.
But you were not his girlfriend anymore. He made sure of that five years ago, hadn’t he? He stood there with pride and cruelty to let you walk away like a coward he was because he was afraid of committing.
But seeing you stand amongst those god damn England supporters. Shit, it made something so possessive and wounded twist beneath his ribs.
The view on your end was tough.
Yet, despite the break-up — getting one unusual glare from him after so many years. Even within thousands in the crowd and him looking at the wrong one, from all directions, he had the power to find you.
You. As he always did. Just you.
With an attempt to snap out of the six-foot player from afar, you witnessed how minutes flew enough over that time slipped.
The famous Weasley player said goodbye to your friend group and jogged back to the field for a fair farewell to their rivals.
In an attempt to follow the rest of the other random players in the field while following the game commentary, you failed completely.
You followed the two main players you knew in the past.
You watched Garreth Weasley track easily back to the grass, breathless from the match as he walked with a victory confidence, clapping his teammates for a bit before turning to the Scotland team.
A few handshakes and what-so — then you felt the pit of your stomach create a void as you watched Garreth reach Sebastian.
Sebastian attempted to keep his facial expressions muted. He always had a hard time hiding his intentions, but despite a stupid, humiliating loss, he tried to be respectful to his rival.
“Tsk, Sallow surely took a damn loss!” Someone from behind you said. It must’ve been the men again.
“—course’ he did. Finally karma from jabbing all our fucking matches at Hogwarts. He finally needs to feel the loss!”
You bit the inside of your lip, also watching the players.
Weasley leaned into Sallow with a tighter handshake, just enough to throw Sebastian into him and spill some words that were specifically just for him.
Sebastian’s body went still, and a smugness seemed to appear on Garreth as he walked away.
Hell, you didn’t have time to form a proper thought at all.
One second, the Scotland player was standing there with a tense and exhausted look, and then the next, his jaw clenched toward Weasley. His shoulder had risen with a heavy breath as he ticked.
He mouthed something at Weasley.
You had known that look on him.
That enraged wrath on him, the tension on his large shoulders and the way he squinted those brown eyes you’d known him for.
Sebastian Sallow was pissed off.
Sebastian threw the first shoulder shove at Garreth immediately.
Oh no. You thought to yourself.
Oh no, because that’s what you knew about Sallow. He was impulsive and didn’t think twice about his actions before doing them.
A low gasp left your mouth as both players strut back on themselves. That smug Weasley held on himself vanished, and there was a sudden roar from news outlets, catching the fight-to-be.
“Holy—“
“Did Sallow just launch—“
Your hearing went hazy.
You watched as three players held back Sebastian from a swing while Garreth ran backward, almost a trace of fear in him before shaking his head.
Sebastian’s mouth moved quickly, angrily, and whatever he had told the other player was lost beneath your gap of listening, but you didn’t have to listen.
Your heart hammered as Sebastian’s gaze suddenly snapped upward, cutting through everyone’s dramatic yells, and looked at you for a second.
Just a second.
It’d been you. The reason had been you.
If you’d known Garreth enough from school and Sebastian from heart — it was something said about you.
As you correlated the thoughts, you saw how Sebastian shoved an arm at his teammate from his shoulder and left the football field in a rush, avoiding any more conflict and media attention. He was isolating.
Both crowds tried to swallow him in. The coach, attempting a pep-talk, denied. His team attempting a photo, denied. He just walked without looking at anyone, disappearing into the shadowed stage leading backstage.
You’d been frozen.
The freshly made manicure nearly chipped out of your nail beds from how bad you fidgeted over what had just happened.
Your friends and old classmates celebrated, already planning about the next bar stop after the game, but you were on a different path now.
The lanyard hanging around your neck began to tickle you.
No — no, don’t do it.
You looked down.
GUEST ACCESS.
It’d been from connections.
You should’ve stayed where you were.
It’d been five years.
You should’ve waited for the rest of the players to take photos and celebrate.
Five years.
Your breaths echoed over your ears as you found yourself in the deeper parts beneath the stadium. The tunnels leading to exclusive access were colder than you’d expect, making you shiver a little — but had it really been the cold or the nerves on the most likely mistake you were making?
Security stood there in the deeper backrooms with black earpieces and expressionless faces, but one glance at your pass and they ignored your intentions.
You walked through those private halls right before other players could crowd in, and all those privileged nepotism people could come backstage to meet the players.
Where are you?
You’d been sure you were on the opposite team’s side now because somewhere nearby, a Scottish player laughed too loudly at seeing your tight red and white shirt representing England.
“Fuckin’ hell, aye, what’s the competitor doing here? ,” He said. “Yer’ in the wrong area, darling.”
But you walked faster, your breath weighing harder as you walked the halls, ignoring the scent of sweat and polished floors.
At the same time, a roughed-up player had appeared right before you made a sharp, desperate turn in the corridor.
Sebastian Sallow was paced to lock himself in his stupid, claustrophobic dressing room until a cab took him back to his hotel — to destress and block out everything from the media and his pestering managers.
And surely, block you out of his damn mind.
The moment he heard his teammate chuckle out the comment, Sebastian took a brief pause and looked over his shoulder, seeing you right there below him.
This gave you the proper chance to take a good look at his face after so many years, up close and personal.
His face was flushed from the match. Those soft, dampened hairs were still stuck on his forehead, sweat still dripping from his freckles. And he was breathing extremely hard, so that you nearly felt it. It was obvious his breaths were from annoyance as the Scotland jersey on him moved with each take.
Sebastian Sallow was everything but calm right now.
For a moment, he only stared at you.
He debated whether to be shocked or annoyed, as if he had expected hundreds of people to follow him in the private halls — reporters, teammates. Soon they would.
He expected anyone, but you,
Holy shit, it was you.
He tried to take you in for a few seconds, attempting to remember and take you at the same time.
He looked at your hair, your face. He looked at the shape of your mouth. He noticed right away the nervous way your freshly made nails were chipping as you gripped your lanyard for some sort of fidgeted latch.
“What are you doing here?” He asked harshly.
You suddenly became too aware, because what were you doing there?
You’d flush enough now. You couldn’t even blame the match; you weren’t a player — you were just fucking lost. What were you thinking?
“I—“ You were lost. You couldn’t even look at him in the eyes. “I don’t know—maybe, I just wanted to make sure you were alright.”
A humorless laugh slipped from him, and he looked to the side.
Those sharpened freckles.
“Alright?”
Yeah, he wasn’t.
“I just lost the finals in the World Cup against England, nearly put my hands on a player, and walked away from every camera in sight like a coward.” Sebastian spat.
You blinked rapidly. “I—I know—“
His shoulders were tense. And big.
That football endurance surely did its job.
Beneath it all, though. Beneath this layer of popularity and strength he gained, he looked demolished. Failed.
You hated that you noticed it right away.
You both were still, in awe and confusion about what the fuck you were both doing. After years — this was your first meeting. Your first glance and confrontation.
The breakup was messy. No proper farewells.
In a short breath, he attempted to whisper your name, but it completely got towered over muffled chaos from afar.
From a distance, you and Sebastian began to hear voices between the halls. The corridors began to vibrate with loud screams and reporters.
Sebastian’s eyes flicked past your shoulder, noticing the chaos, and he whispered a quick ‘fuck’ to himself.
Before you could turn yourself to what he saw, you felt a hand close around your wrist, tight enough to steal the breath from your lungs as you were launched into the nearest unlocked door beside you guys.
“What—“
Pulling you inside with him, Sebastian closed the door, locking it and taking a deep breath as his eyes closed.
The room was open and slightly dimmed.
It’d been the players’ infirmary.
There was a clinical smell hitting you at once, right away. A few ice packs abandoned on the garbage can, bottles of healing solution, and a large bed where injured players lay.
You pressed your back against the counter behind you across the room, trying to put some sort of space between you and Sebastian at the door, but the room was small and chilly.
All you saw between your loud breaths of recovery was Sebastian’s broad back blocking most of the door, his body also rising in and out from the chaos.
“You shouldn’t be here.” Sebastian spoke without a glance.
Your throat clenched a little and your cheeks warmed. “I—“
“Isn’t there another team you should be pressing in at?” He now asked you sharply.
“What?” You were oblivious. Stupid.
Sebastian scoffed, finally looking over his shoulder. His large hands finally removed from the doorknob, and his body twisted around. The weight of his back leaned against the exit while he crossed his arms and looked down at you from afar.
His brown eyes weren’t directly at you, but at the tight shirt you wore: England’s.
You swallowed, not even feeding into it. It’d been your team. You were surely from—
“You were born in Scotland.”
Right, he knew everything about you.
“I lived in England most of my life—“
“Right.” He chuckled.
You frowned. “I’m allowed to rule for any team.”
“Yeah, from where I stood in that field, it looked like you knew exactly where you belonged.
Your eyes squinted a little as you stared at him in offense. A small reminder why the relationship before was a rollercoaster — his honesty.
Sebastian seems to realize it too, because his expression shone immediately and his jealousy turned to shame. “Nobody lets down their partner.”
Now your eyes widened more. “What?”
His gaze followed yours. “What? Again,” he paused and took a breath, almost like he knew he was going to regret asking this. “What are you doing here?”
A question you couldn’t answer yourself.
“You’re Weasley’s.”
“What? No. I wasn’t even cheering for him in that game!” You defended yourself. “I’m not with Weasley's.”
He snickered. “No?”
“No!”
There it was.
The uncontrolled power Sebastian Sallow held over you that nobody else had the strength to have: drive you nuts. Quickly.
Silence was kept between you two as the outside of the infirmary filled with voices here and there.
You swallowed, finally gathering why you were there in the first place. “What did he tell you?”
Sebastian’s eyes stared at you but didn’t raise his head. All you saw was a wolf-like stare as he tried to understand your intention.
Once he realized, he looked to the side with his arms still crossed. “Doesn’t matter.”
Your hands removed from the grid of the counter behind you, and your body straightened. “It does matter.”
“It doesn’t. Just drop it—“
“No.” You argued. “Sebastian, what did he say? You made an entire scene.”
He laughed under his breath, his annoyance crawling back to him as he shook his head as if the memory of it disgusted him. “He was just being Weasley. You already know that—“
“That’s not an answer.” You pushed. “What did he say?”
Sebastian’s nose flared as he finally uncrossed his arms and returned his frown. He stopped looking at you now.
“That he took the World Cup just like,” He didn’t even want to say it. It was stupid. “—just like he took a woman--you. From me.”
Your stomach twisted a little, but you attempted to stay calm.
Sebastian looked down at you, also trying to read your reaction through it as he looked down at your stupid shirt. Those England colors—fuck, he just wanted to rip it and—
“I’m not Weasley’s.” Your voice cracked from the nerves.
“You dated him.”
“Five years ago, after you and I broke up.”
His jaw flexed.
“Or, as when you left me,” You corrected.
That hit both of you.
Sebastian’s expression shifted, and he finally uncrossed his arms as he shifted a hand over his dampened hair in stress. “I didn’t just leave you—“
“You did.” You let out a bitter laugh. “Walking away and never talking to me again is leaving, Sallow.”
His eyes cut back. “It was a difficult time.”
“No. You just didn’t know how to balance football and a relationship at the same time, so you choose—“
“I had scarce time for you. We knew that at the end,” Sebastian defended. “You were getting mad all the fucking time, and it was only going to get worse once I signed contracts and left.”
“I would’ve left with you!” You raised your voice a little. “But you wanted this stupid egoistic football player life of traveling everywhere and fucking every woman that wanted you—“
“That’s not true.”
“Do you not read the media—?!”
“PR is a joke. Nothing you see in the media is real.” Sebastian shot back. “And you weren’t far behind either. The moment I left for Scotland’s training, I got word you were already with Weasley.”
You gasped in offense. “That’s not what happened!”
“It’s exactly what happened. You just moved on—“
“You stopped reaching out!”
“I was at camp!” Sebastian raised in frustration, letting out all the words he couldn’t say in the past.
“And I didn’t get with Garreth the moment you left.” You frowned. “He was just there.”
Sebastian’s freckles felt like they were flaring from his redness. “Is’dat suppose to make me feel better after this match?”
“No, it’s supposed to make you understand.” You fixed.
Still, outside the infirmary were voices, but they were non-existent between the two of you right now. That entire stadium felt distant compared to the weight you both held right now after five years of no contact.
“I reached out once after training in Scotland, and you never answered.” Sebastian admitted.
“Of course I didn’t. I had to switch phones to avoid looking at your contact for months—“
“And you sure did a good job a while after when that picture of you wearing his jacket came out—“
“What?” You scoffed. “I was eighteen, and it was raining that day!”
Sebastian now felt jealous.
All those feelings he had bottled up were now blooming in the worst way possible — especially now. Especially after he had lost.
His team had fucking lost thanks to him. His temper was off. Then Weasley standing on that field and smiling like everything Sebastian had loved could be won over — oh, he was tense.
“It’s fine.” He lied like a prick. Like something was rotting in his honesty. “I left, and he stayed for a bit longer. I’m sure he gave you the sex of your life just to use it against me—“
“What the hell?” You scoffed.
He laughed once under his breath, and that drove you insane. You were both bitter and petty — but the relationship was so good. And the sex was so fucking good with only him.
You glanced up at Sebastian Sallow again, between the anger and annoyance that you felt now. It’s like his feelings were projected onto you now.
You hated how much you noticed, too.
The way the sweat began to dry along his roughed skin. The bruise on his cheekbone reddened from the match. The unnecessary, stupid tight jersey that had clung to his body.
He was exhausted and angry, but still painfully beautiful as you last remembered him.
You stared at him a bit longer with your face hot and your throat tight.
Then, you moved before you could even stop yourself. You acted without thinking, just like him.
Your fist reached his chest because you couldn’t reach much more. He was too damn tall — and you pounded lightly to take his words back.
“Take it back,” You pushed.
Sebastian barely moved. At all.
His eyes stayed fixed on yours, dark and amused beneath the brown hairs poking him.
“Take. It. Back. Sebastian—!” You shouted in offense.
“No.” He clicked bluntly.
“No, because it’s the truth,” Sebastian said roughly, attempting to talk normally as you pushed.
“It’s not.”
“It’s the truth. It was enough for him to use it against me.” He said. “Because that was the entire plan since Hogwarts. To fucking bother me.”
You froze.
“And the most humiliating thing is that you knew.” He frowned at you.
“What?” You asked.
“You saw him tonight. You saw him lean in and tell me something, despite not hearing, and you immediately knew it was something about you.”
Your hands were still flat on his chest as you tried to argue back, but it was difficult.
Sebastian looked down at you for half a second before lifting his gaze again at the blank wall. “You’d always been self-aware enough to understand the power you held between me and any man who wanted you, so don’t act oblivious.” He said harshly.
Your hands dropped now, and you were muted for once, reflecting on his words.
“You’re upset.” You gathered. “You wouldn’t be so mean to me right now if—“
“Of course, I’m upset!” Sebastian now raised his voice. He now paced around the infirmary room, going around you on the opposite side. “Because I didn’t just fucking lose the World Cup tonight! It felt like I was losing my career and losing you all over again.”
Your breathing stopped for a moment.
One thing for sure, he was honest.
You turned again. His back was to you now again, his hands clenched over the counter you once clenched in too.
It’s like he was regretting what he said.
“Of course I feel like absolute shit right now.” He shouted again, but in frustration with himself.
Your eyes soften now. You felt the weight inside of you lift, and now, despite yourself and the entire night — you understood too.
“Sebastian…” You said softly.
“No.” He clicked his tongue. “Don’t soften your voice now. Don’t pity me.”
“I don’t pity you.” You lied. “Or feel sorry.”
Sebastian closed his eyes. You were playing rough, too. “Then what?”
“I just,” You blinked fast and thought. “I just know you.”
That soothed Sebastian just for a bit.
He finally turned around from fighting with the unnecessary counter edges and looked at you.
For the first time since this tragic anger consumed him, he looked like Sebastian — like the boy you met. Not the famous footballer who was so dull and cold.
There’d been a forced pull on you. No, he didn’t grab you or did anything on his part. It was you. You felt yourself walk forward to meet him in the middle of the room and just take him in for once.
He looked so tired and fucked from so much football and insults.
The man needed to de-stress. Immediately.
For years.
You let out a shaky breath, pretending like the fluorescent lights above him weren’t making the tint of honey breath in his eyes glow more than usual.
“Weasley never fucked me,” You whispered in honesty.
Sebastian looked at you with a small tilt.
You were ashamed for a bit, but you wanted to debunk his stupid assumptions. “I was too heartbroken to have sex with anyone. I only kissed him once, and I didn’t like it—“
There was a small breath from his nose that came out of him from the ‘kiss’ part, and you clicked your tongue.
“My gosh, Sallow! You are never freaking satisfied with anything—“
“You knew I didn’t like him, and he didn’t like me since we got together!” Sebastian reminded.
You sighed.
“And I know I left. I know I chose football and all of that.” He said bitterly. “But it doesn’t make it easier knowing how much control he has over it against me.”
“It was one kiss.” You confirmed.
“One of too fucking many.”
“Sebastian—“
“What?” He said, annoyed. “You want me to lie like him? You want me to stand here and tell you I’ve matured enough to hear that Weasley is still using my vulnerable sides to stab me in public?”
You stared at him a little longer.
He looked away, dragging his fingers over his mouth and chin, looking more frustrated with himself than with you. He had no reason to be mad at you, but he was.
“Then seeing you stand in those fucking crowds and going for the opposite team with that rubbish,” his fingers clenched as he pointed at your shirt again. “—shirt.” His teeth clenched.
You swallowed, seeing the closeness he was giving now — too much. Even the finger pointing was enough to make you take a heavier breath and rethink the actions on why you felt a fluttering sensation in his presence now.
No, not now. You’d felt it all game, but you were too much of a coward to admit it.
“Are you mad about that?” You asked.
Sebastian looked at you intensely. He was holding back too. A lot. “I’m mad at everything.”
You caught your breath as he stepped closer, but even that small movement had been a mistake.
It was almost stubborn for Sebastian Sallow to catch himself staring at not only the wrong shirt you wore, but also at the way that your breasts sat so tightly under that fabric. The thin fabric. He’d remember them. The shape of them. The perfect outline on his hands — and he sure damn well knew they were fighting for themselves to get out of that lame fabric.
He flexed without saying anything, but he scrunched his nose. “I’ve had it with tonight.”
You swallowed. “Sebastian—“
Violently, you felt fingers slip into the back of your hairs as your body was pulled forward to him and your lips were detained by the feel of someone else’s.
Sebastian kissed you, and not gently.
It was messy. Sloppy. You were able to feel the longing and collision you two had yearned for the last few years. The tension of stress one held more than the other.
And damn, how stressed he was.
His lips pressed to yours with roughness, enough to feel the tickles of his brown curls over your nose as both of your bodies neared back against the exit door again.
Your tongue tasted the bitter saltiness from the sweat and saliva that bled from him all day, but you never cared. All you really paid attention to was how fucking well he kissed you. Only he knew the spot and pace of the kisses and...
A loud thump echoed, and the kiss broke for a few seconds.
It gave you enough time to catch a breath and place one hand over his chest flatly again — his heartbeat was far beyond what you expected.
“You need to get out of here,” Sebastian whispered harshly. “Or I won’t be able to stop.”
“Then don’t.”
That was the fair light to give him. The consent to let him ruin you like in the past — all he needed was reassurance before demolishing you completely.
Sebastian didn’t hesitate twice before pressing his mouth against yours, but finding an opening with his tongue on yours. Both of your mouths syncing into one against that door.
Your fingers dug into his hair, finally getting the advantage of feeling the damp softness of it again. To tug it harshly as his large body pressed against you on that door as if you were a famous portrait.
A hand stood digging into your hair while the other crawled down your shoulders into your sides as a soft whimper escaped you from his tickling touch.
Without warning, you felt Sebastian’s fingers grip the team jersey you wore and tug it aggressively — pulling it so fucking hard to the point where it pinched your skin once before the fabric completely ripped off you like a line upward.
The kiss broke, and you gasped down, watching the team shirt rip apart away from the stomach lining up to your breasts, making them lash out inappropriately. “Sebastian—“
“Take—“ He kept opening it harshly until there was no fabric left on you. “—it,” he grunted between the kisses. "--off."
Your breaths lingered as you both looked down at your naked chest, your face in heat while taking in what you two were up to.
Nothing had changed.
Sebastian’s index fingers trailed from your open collarbones, tracing them down onto the middle of your chest where your heart was before using his large hand to cup one breast and giving out a short grunt from the touch.
“…Fuck,” he couldn’t even hold it in, admiring you once again.
Again, his lips went to kiss yours and then trailed down into your neck like a vampire, burying his sloppy bites into it while his hands massaged your breasts.
“I,” he breathed. “—missed this.”
Impulsively, your hand reached down between the neck kisses, training down over his jersey, and shoving your hand beneath it.
Your fingers could only take so much on tracing the sticky warmth of his toned body beneath the jersey before they charted down the tight sports pants; a finger pulling the strings of the Adidas pants and shoving into the V-line and feeling the flesh of his hardness for the first time again.
“Shiii—“ Sebastian could barely attempt to finish his sentence from feeling your hands touch the base of his cock.
You gasp, feeling how aroused he’d been and how much pre-cum had been ejected off him in a short time.
Your hands pumped up and down motions over the inches of himself while he attempted to keep you pinned against that door, but it became difficult.
He held in so much.
Your back suddenly lifted, and it was in seconds when you felt your body bump against the edge of the infirmary bed, making the bed make a loud noise from the throw.
Neither of you cared.
Without wasting any time, Sebastian’s hands came in contact with the skirt you wore for the day, cuffing another finger on the stretchy part of your underwear and sliding them off fleetly off your body at the same time.
“Sebastian-!” You attempted to warn his pace, but he was in no judgement.
He could devour you and destroy you with great pleasure.
Sebastian bent down over the small bed, his knees on the polished floor, not caring at all, and cuffed your legs like nothing.
“Sebastian.” You panicked. “Are you sure—oh, hell!”
Your head threw itself back when Sebastian’s tongue disastrously entered the entrance of your body without fair warning, making your lower hips bend in an arch to swallow in the extreme arousal you hadn’t felt in a while.
His tongue first devoured you like a tragic kiss, making out with the sensitive parts of your body like it was the last time — his mouth shifting from kisses on your inner thighs before shoving back into you with intent.
It’d been so messy that one of your hands had to grip the sheets of the bed while the other tangled into Sebastian’s hair for some sort of grip.
“Ugh—“ Your eyes were closed, barely getting a sighting of how his eyes had gone soft in certain intervals as you moaned out.
With a loud puckering noise, “Oh, the amount of nights--I ached for this, baby,” he huffed. “You’ve been so good,” he suddenly inserted one of his fingers inside of you slowly, making you close your thighs. “—open,”
Whimpers hid under you, not wanting to be loud.
There were possible crowds outside this stupid little room, yet Sebastian Sallow was doing his best to outdo both of you.
“Hmm! It’s so,” You tried to speak, but he inserted another finger while lifting himself over you, as he used his strong hand to open your thighs again. “Open.”
It was hard to maintain a peace when the tall, sweaty football player that you thought you’d lost forever was hovering over you and fucking you with his fingers, with eye contact now.
Again, he bent down once your legs were open and then while his fingers pumped inside of you, his mouth came back into a gentle contact above his fingers, kissing your entrance and hip bones.
“Oh, fuck,” You cried out.
“Good,” he went further in with a finger slip inside of you, and you bent your back. “—girl,” he praised.
It’d been too much for you.
He’d only gotten taller, and his voice had gotten rougher throughout the five-year gap. It was highly impossible not to let out a short orgasm over the stimulation and pretty face between your legs.
You became a maniac over him.
As you saw stars, Sebastian seemed a bit more resistant to himself, but still, there was a small tense unfinished stress inside of him he needed to let out.
You saw it in him.
Catching a breath, you attempted to balance yourself up with your elbows on the bed while looking at him.
He still stood over your open legs, but held back a little, discontinuing his oral sex. “You’re so damn pretty.”
You could barely see him from the sweat in your eyes, and you didn’t know whether to laugh as he scanned your naked body.
“What am I going to do with you?” He said in a pleading tone, not believing this was real.
“Whatever you want, Sallow,” You reminded him in breaths. “I’m yours. Just yours.”
“Fuck,” He huffed out.
The boner over his pants printed over you. You saw the struggle it was having inside there, and you took a breath, watching it so perfectly.
“What do you want, Sebastian?” You asked.
“I want to make you a mess,” He said without lies. “I want to devour the heck out of you right now. I want to—”
“Then what's stopping you?” You warned.
He chuckled. “Dangerous words to tell an exhausted football player, darling.”
You swallowed.
“I don’t have a condom.” He said in confusion.
“When has that ever stopped us in the past?” You asked.
Sebastian’s eyes nearly sparkled at the remembrance — you were reckless teenagers, but never failed a good pull-out. Ever.
“Never.” Sebastian whispered before he took it in at the confirmation and gripped one of your ankles heavily, using it as a lever to pull you back to the edge of the bed.
A squirm came out of your mouth when your body got twisted around, and now your back was facing Sebastian. You didn’t even have time to think before you felt his hand pushed flatly on your back and made you incline.
The motions had been loud enough that you didn’t even hear when his pants were off.
It was only within seconds that you heard him spit on his hand and then position himself behind you.
“Oh,”
Sebastian had barely inched in the base of himself on your entrance before closing his eyes and looking at the ceiling from the sensation until he stretched you out slowly.
“Oh. My,” Your fingers gripped the sheets as your cheek pressed on the bed from the entrance. “—Hm,”
Once every inch of Sebastian Sallow was inside of you - once that man made sure every single part of him was in you and that you could take it, he didn’t hold back.
He slid out of you once slowly and then, it was never slow again after — he rammed into you like no tomorrow and never stopped.
“Sebastian,” You gasped from the roughness behind you.
Sebastian plunged inside of you with a pounding sensation, his fingers gripping the sides of your love handles perfectly as a lever to destroy you fully.
The room echoed with sex and moans as Sebastian made sure you felt every single year you’d miss from this — to feel all that jealousy and stress that’d been bothering him tonight. To feel that love.
And it felt so good.
A handle removed from your hips and clamped under your chin. His fingers hooked around your entire neck and pulling you upward in the air to feel the back of your head rest on his shoulders.
A moan escaped you as this view made you look at Sebastian better. Him fucking you from the back while your head stayed on his shoulder to view his side.
One of your hands raised, caging on the back of his head again and using it as a balance so you won’t fall forward as he kept pushing it so hard.
“Oh,” Sebastian’s breaths lingered on yours from how close you were again. “You’re so wet.”
You clenched on him from the opening. “Yes—yes, I am—for you—“
His finger reached down your belly button and down in between your legs, creating circular motions to stimulate you again. “Fuck, baby,”
You moaned at the name call. “Seb—“
Your words weren’t finished.
Sebastian suddenly threw your body down, and before you could turn fully, you felt his fingers twisted around your hair. He kept the twirling motions until all of your hair was gathered on his hand before pulling it back and fucking you hard.
From this angle and force, you felt the base of him nearly at your cervix, enough to make you whimper a little from the pleasurable pain.
“Oh, yes,”
Sebastian had reached a state of being out of control. He was letting it all out without measuring his pace or angles — he did what he had to do to enjoy it.
“That’s it, baby—“
There was a sudden knock on the door, making you gasp out loud from the noise, but Sebastian didn’t stop, making you freak out.
“Hey—“
“They can’t really hear us in these rooms,” He paced, “Unless you scream loudly.” He whispered.
You breathed.
“So,” He leaned down a little to speak to you from behind. “Tell them,” he shoved back into you. “It’s occupied.”
You were flushed. “B-But you’re—inside me—“
“Tell them." He slammed. "It’s occupied.” He shoved deeper. “This player,” he groaned. “—is in recovery.”
“Hmm!” You whimpered.
Again, there was a knock.
“It’s,” You tried to yell, but Sebastian was being diabolical.
“Louder.”
“IT’S OCCUPIED!” You called out loudly before falling back into the bed with a stinging cock inside of you.
“Oh, okay! Apologies.” You heard from outside. “Let’s use the other infirmary then!”
You took a breath as people left.
“You’re such a good girl, aren’t you?” Sebastian praised.
Your eyes closed from the pleasurable compliment, and your ass perked up more on him as he said that.
But Sebastian’s didn’t accept it just yet.
As much as he wanted to spill inside of you even though he shouldn’t — he couldn’t do it like this. Not in this position.
Again, you felt his strong hands turn you around aggressively, using the pillow behind you to adjust it and then lay your head on it.
He then finally slid the Scotland jersey off himself — getting the opportunity to finally take a clear view of his adulting body.
The small toned shadows, the scars left behind from old matches, and the little chest hairs that barely peeked.
It was a perfect view of each other now.
Sebastian looked down at you before taking you in and kissing you passionately now — just for a minute.
He grabbed both of your legs, placing them alongside his shoulders before looking down and using himself to slip inside of you one last time easily.
Your eyes closed from this angle, feeling your toes curl around the back of his neck just a little as he went in slow and hard. Slow and hard. Slow and so fucking hard.
“Oh,” He whispered between the messy saliva. “I—missed this—“ he pounded inside of you. “I miss—you.” He clenched.
Your fingers grasped his hairs, and the other caressed the bruise on his cheekbone as you admired and were also aroused at the same time. “I missed you—too.”
With every stroke, Sebastian’s strength on you became harder and heavier. With every thrust, you felt a pulsing sensation in your guts, ready for them to be spilled from how perfectly angled he hugged into you.
“You’re, so, so deep.” You breathed.
His strokes were sloppy.
It was insane to think how soundproof the infirmaries really were.
“And I wanna be deeper.” He groaned.
“Do—do it,” You begged.
Sebastian whimpered at your go, his hands grabbing the handles of the low-budget medical bed and twisting his fingers around the poles to pound the fuck out of you.
It was so warm and wet.
How could it have been highly impossible for this sensation to go away so soon if he had to pull out —
“I’m going to cum—“
“No, I’m going to cum too,” You pleaded from the stimulation.
You felt his entire cock start to harden inside of you, making the sex start to intensify to the climax.
His brown eyes finally found yours, and you could see the softness of them. That, despite how stupidly aggressive he’d been — there was devotion in them.
“Let it go,” You whispered softly at him.
Sebastian’s eyes looked at you, feeling territorial as ever. “Let me cum inside of you.”
Your brows furrowed. “I’m not on birth control—“
“Let’s get the--morning pill,” He pleaded with soft whispers. “Or not, I know you hate them—“
“No, I—“
“Let me take care of you,” Sebastian said aggressively. “You're the only woman I'll ever want to bear my children." He spoke so sweetly in such a deep sex. "I’ll take care of both of you—“
“Sebastian,” You sweated at his motions.
But it was something to discuss after.
Right now, you both need to be done.
You nodded. It just felt too good to release anywhere else right now. The angle, the breaths, the orgasms — the consequences could be dealt with later.
Now, you wanted it as much as him.
Sebastian took in one last curve while you felt yourself twist at the same time, arching your entire body and letting out another loud moan for the night.
“Fuckkkk,” Sebastian moaned out loudly, a few grunts and whimpers dimming out of him as he spilled himself deeply into you. “You’re — mine.”
You nodded within moans. “I am.”
The medical room was echoed with heavy post-sex breaths and bodies.
It all suddenly felt too hot.
You could smell the natural scent of sweat and faded cologne off Sebastian Sallow. Something that you’d oddly missed losing yourself to.
An embarrassing pop sounded once Sebastian slid out of your body, and instead of standing up, you watched him between the blurs of your sweaty vision.
His biceps twisted perfectly as he bent to the floor and took a catch for his famously known jersey.
“Arms up,” He ordered you.
You furrowed. “What—“
“You were shivering out there.” He pointed out. “Arms. Up.”
You obeyed, letting the oversized long-sleeve jersey slide on your naked body. “Sebastian, I can’t go out like this.” You looked down at yourself.
A chuckle escaped the exhausted man. “Who said anything about getting out of here?”
This brought you back to your senses.
Sebastian stood up, all naked. You could see his cock jump a little, and God, you had to look away to not want more again.
“There’s an endless crowd outside this room,” Sebastian informed. “And you’re not leaving anywhere anymore, sweetheart.”
This made you stare up, your fingers clinging into his jersey while pretending like his spill wasn’t sliding between your legs.
“We’d have to wait until everyone is gone.” He reached down to the bed toward you, placing a hand on each of your sides and caging you as his eyes prayed into yours. “Which means we’re not finished yet.”
You blinked.
“My stamina is high after this loss.” He frowned. “And we have rounds to own up to while we wait here, darling—so, sit tight. It’s only our first round.”
And you knew he was being serious.
“Because I lost the World Cup, but I sure won,” He kissed your forehead. “—the woman. Which is way fucking better.
Warnings: NSFW, MDNI, characters are 18+, explicit sexual content, car/semi-public sex, dirty talk/praise, unprotected sex
A/N: It’s been a minute! And yes, I know the meaning of Cherry Wine and that it’s not a love song. But just hear me out pleeeeease
Summary: Sebastian bought you tickets to see Hozier together months ago. But between the opening chords of “Like Real People Do” and the last notes of “Cherry Wine”, the night becomes more than you imagined.
You stared at yourself in the mirror as you were nearly finished getting ready. You sprayed your face with setting spray, lightly misting over your freshly done makeup, before gently swiping over your favorite shade of lipstick across your lips.
Your longtime boyfriend, Sebastian, purchased the two of you tickets to see Hozier for your birthday a few months ago and the concert was finally tonight.
You laced up your Doc Martens over your sheer black panty hose right as he knocked on your bedroom door. Through the door you could hear him begin speaking.
”Hey, are you almost—“ but then the door was open and he looked taken aback.
”Is it too much?” You asked, spinning around once, letting your short dress bounce around above your knees.
”You look…wow.” Was all he could get out.
”It’s too much isn’t it?” you breathed out, looking at yourself again in the full length mirror sitting against the wall. “I have time to change.”
”Baby…” he started as he walked up behind you. “You look perfect. If he saw you, he’d write a song about you.”
Your cheeks burned crimson as he leaned over and pressed a kiss to your hot cheeks. “Oh hush,” you replied.
Sebastian was never shy with the compliments and somehow, each day they became more and more creative and always caused butterflies to swarm around in the cage of your belly.
“Okay I think I’m almost ready. I need one last thing.”
You dug around in your closet until you found it. “It” being Sebastian’s denim jacket you oh so adored. It fit you in a perfectly oversized way and it smelled like him. All sandalwood and cedar with a hint of clean soap.
As you tugged it on, it was his turn to have his cheeks turn pink.
”You look better in that than I do.”
He took your hand in his warm and enveloping one and walked you to the front door before grabbing his keys off the hook.
He drove an old beater you always made fun of, but deep down you knew you would be sad if he ever sold it. It carried too many memories in it, from the first time he picked you up to him helping you move in, and you were nostalgic like that.
Sebastian led you down the steps of your shared apartment all the way down to where his car waited for you parked on the curb. He opened the door for you and ushered you inside before buckling your seatbelt and planting a kiss to your lips.
”You're spoiling me,” you teased.
”Spoiling you is my job, sweetheart,” he replied and gently shut the door.
The venue was a far drive from where you lived—about forty-five minutes, but with traffic for the concert you were expecting at least another half hour.
You turned the old radio up, too old to have bluetooth, and scrolled through stations until you found one that wasn’t full of static. Sebastian always let you have music control, though control was a loose term seeing as there weren't many options.
Sebastian’s hand then found its home against your clothed thigh, rubbing small circles with his thumb against your thinly-covered skin.
”Did you look at the setlist?” He asked.
”No, I wanted to be surprised. But I am at least hoping for ‘Like Real People Do’. It’s our song,” you said.
He looked over at you and even in the dark of the car, you could see his charming smile. Your heart skipped a beat at the sight.
He turned the volume up on the radio and you sat back against the plush, velvety seat and stared out the window as suburbs turned into city lights and skyscrapers.
But Sebastian’s hand never strayed from your thigh. You placed your hand over it and began making shapes of your own against his skin. Hearts and circles, even a slow “I love you” were traced delicately across his hand with your pointer finger.
As the venue lights bloomed ahead like flowers in spring, you intertwined your fingers with his and slid them further into your lap.
”If he plays our song, will you dance with me? Even if it’s just swaying like trees?”
He lifted your joint hands to his lips and pressed sweet kisses over your knuckles. “Always, sweetheart.”
He pulled the car into the large lot already filled with cars and miraculously found a decent open spot. When he killed the engine, you sat for a beat listening as the engine cooled. He turned to you and looked in awe.
”You are so beautiful,” he cooed earnestly.
You leaned across the armrest in the middle and found his lips with yours.
“Let’s go, Sallow, before you make me cry before Hozier does.”
He huffed a small laugh and opened his door before rounding the car and opening yours. He helped you out until your boots met the pavement, slick with rain from earlier.
You joined the line of people curling toward the venue. Sebastian kept you tucked under his arm in the cool of the evening. Though his jacket wrapped loosely around you would’ve been warm enough, you didn’t mind the extra heat of his body around yours.
Inside, you were already buzzing, squeezing onto his hand in anticipation as you waited in the queue to find your seats.
Row by row you walked until you found your number.
”Want anything, baby? Water? Food?” Sebastian asked, once you were sitting down.
”Just a water please,” you replied.
He left you alone to sit in pure amusement at how good your seats were. They weren’t front row by any means, but they were still great seats. Hozier wasn’t going to look like a tiny bug.
When Sebastian returned, he had one water and a clear cup of amber beer foaming at the top like a snowy mountain peak.
The opener, someone you had never heard of, walked on the stage with quiet cheers. You stood next to Sebastian with your head on his shoulder as the opener played their set, quietly tapping your foot along to the beat.
It felt like as quickly as the opener came on she was done with a small bow and loud claps.
After a few silent moments, the house lights fell again, only illuminating the stage with a single spotlight.
Thousands of breaths were held at once as you all waited for Hozier to walk on.
And when he did, guitar in hand, the crowd turned to thunder.
You bumped your shoulder into Sebastian, another small “thank you” after the dozens you had already given him.
He started slowly, strumming lightly and bringing everyone together. It was calming and peaceful, in the sea of the crowd.
Sebastian stood beside you, anchoring you when the noise became too loud, holding you steady.
”Jackie and Wilson” was lively causing you to move on your toes in the small space around you.
When “Would that I” played, you danced around even more—the song made it hard not to. You sang every word like your life depended on it.
Sebastian watched you, completely mesmerized by you and your delicate twirling.
When the song was over, Sebastian wrapped his arms around you from behind to hold you. “I could watch you all day, sweetheart,” he said, and meant it.
And then the beginning strums of “Like Real People Do” rang out. You recognized the melody immediately and felt a ping in your chest. You turned to Sebastian with a beam across your face.
”He’s playing our song,” you said.
He leaned forward and kissed your forehead in a slow and sweet peck.
You faced forward again and listened as Hozier sang out the first lines.
Sebastian’s arms had never left their place around your waist from behind, but his chest was now pressed firmly to your back. “I promised you a dance. Let’s sway like trees.” He laughed into your hair.
You two began swaying side to side, letting your bodies move to the gentle beat.
You lost yourself in the music, reminiscing on everything that had transpired between you and Sebastian that had led up to that very moment. Every kiss, every fight. And then he pulled you back down from outer space.
It started with a hum, deep in his chest that sounded against you, until words started to form.
”Honey, just put your sweet lips on my lips. We should just kiss like real people do,” he sang sweetly into your ear. Electricity shot through your chest like your ribs were made of metal.
Your swaying continued, no performance or orchestration needed as you just felt the music and let it move you together. Your hand found his around your waist and you intertwined your fingers through his.
When Hozier sang the last line of the song and the guitar strum rang out through the arena like an echo, you looked up at Sebastian who was already looking down at you. He leaned over and pressed another kiss to your forehead.
The rest of the concert went by with a blur. Nothing could compare to the small dance with your boyfriend you shared.
The concert ended the way they always did, a feeling of emptiness in your stomach like you can’t believe what you just experienced was real like, but it was. Wishing you could relive it over and over again.
The big lights blinked on in a rush, illuminating the crowd like a new day.
You didn’t rush out right away. He let you sit for a moment, soaking it all in like a fresh sponge. You nearly forgot you had to leave until you were one of the last people left.
”You ready baby?” He asked, still not rushing you.
But you were ready, despite wishing it was the beginning of the night and not the end. He wrapped your hand in his and walked you out of the arena, knowing you’d be talking about this night for months if not years.
You let the tide of the leftover people carry you out into the still damp night, smelling the pavement. You rested your head on his shoulder as he hummed “Like Real People Do” all the way to the now empty car lot.
Your hair moved across your clothed shoulder as you buckled your seatbelt and readied for the car ride home.
But after Sebastian started to car up, he didn’t pull out right away. Instead he stared at you like you placed the moon and stars in the sky above you.
“Hi,” you breathed with a chuckle.
”Hi, baby,” he replied, still drunk on you.
Your hand began tracing his jaw, tugging him towards you.
The first kiss was sweet and soft, like the night you had just shared. But then with his lips still on yours, he turned his head sideways to deepen it. He used a hand to unbuckle your seatbelt, pulling you even closer across the seat. The only thing that separated you was the arm rest sitting between you.
His thumb brushed across your cheek as his mouth moved passionately against yours and the air around you thickened with heat.
You sighed once on his lips which was enough for him to open his mouth, allowing his tongue to swipe across your bottom lip, begging for entrance.
His hair was soft around your fingertips as you tugged softly at the root. Sebastian groaned, low and wrecked, trying to pull you even closer. His hand skimmed your waist and scrunched up the fabric of your dress as the kiss turned hungrier.
You pulled away once, only to catch your breath. Your forehead found its way to his as you breathed in the same air. “Sebastian,” you whispered.
He kissed you again, muttering into your mouth. “Sweetheart.”
You pulled back enough to look at him again. The rain outside beat down on the car to the drum of your heart. “Backseat,” you pleaded. His eyes were dark and lips wet and swollen.
He smirked and pulled you in once more for another kiss, not ever getting enough of you. “Are you sure?”
You looked around and there were no other cars around and the parking garage lights were low. “I-I need you.”
He exhaled hard, almost a laugh, almost a groan, before kissing you a final time before opening his door up. You watched as he rounded the car and opened your door with a hand extended. “Come on, baby.”
Your heart lept as you took it and let him lead you the short distance to the backseat.
He slid in first, all the way to the window and you slid in next across the seat.
It was silent at first as neither of you moved, only looking at each other across the car in darkness. Nothing keeping you apart anymore.
And then his lips crashed onto yours in a starving, needy kiss.
The seat creaked below you as you made your way onto his lap.
His hands roamed your body like it was the first time and he was discovering something entirely new to him.
At the same time, you heard the radio station start the next song. The delicate notes of “Cherry Wine” began. Hozier’s voice joined in not long after.
During the first verse, your jacket slowly came off and fell to the floor, so he could trace his fingers across your bare skin. The feeling of the feather-light tracing sent shivers down your spine.
His lips then found the slope of your neck. He kissed hard, sucking enough to make you gasp for air, then softened it down to little nibbles.
He started to hum the melody of the second verse, sending vibrations across your throat. His hand wrapped its way through your strands of hair while the other stayed looped around your waist, holding you as close to his body as he could.
”The way she shows me I’m hers and she is mine,” he sang quietly against you, his breath hitting the wet spot he had left behind.
He looked away to look up at you. “Open hand or closed fist would be fine.”
The hand in your hair sailed across your throat until his thumb found your bottom lip, dragging it down as he turned his head and stared into your eyes. “The blood is rare and sweet as cherry wine.”
“Sebastian,” you breathed.
His lips connected to yours again in the darkness of the car.
”Sweet and right and merciful, I’m all but washed in the tide of her breathing,” he whispered against your lips with a tiny chuckle.
You kissed him again, not able to keep yourself off him for a second.
And as the song came to a close, your lips were still moving with his. You couldn’t name the next song that played, or even the song after. Any noise after “Cherry Wine” was drowned out by the movements between you.
The air shifted again, so noticeably you almost felt it physically against your skin.
Sebastian must’ve felt it too as he started peppering kisses down your bare skin again.
Your hands were placed on his shoulders, holding yourself steady as he licked once across your throat.
Your hands started digging into the tops of his shoulders as you began to grind your hips across his lap.
”Fuck,” he groaned. His hands found your chest next, starting with a knead but quickly turning into him reaching a hand down the low v-cut of your dress.
His thumb brushed over your nipple once and you whimpered out as he toyed with your sensitive bud. He watched you writhe above him as he twisted it lightly between his thumb and forefinger.
His hands left you bare as he pulled them out from your dress. His eyes never left yours as he grabbed the thin straps and pulled them to the side, letting the fabric pool at your waist.
He looked at you with reverence, not knowing where to begin.
The cool air brushed along your skin, but then his mouth was there—hot and worshipful. He kissed over every bit of you, teeth grazing the sensitive parts before he allowed his tongue to peek out. His hand held you tightly as his swirled his tongue around your nipple.
You arched into him, gasping at the contact.
“Please,” you begged.
Your pleas nearly undid him. He groaned against your nipple, sending shockwaves to your core. Then his touch slid down to where you wanted him. “Say it again for me.”
”Please, Sebastian,” you breathed.
He swore under his breath and slumped his forehead against your shoulder as he fumbled with your stockings.
Riiiiip.
The fabric was completely torn, nearly in two.
”Couldn’t wait,” he said, voice almost breaking. “I need you now.” You felt as his fingers inched closer to your aching core, before sliding through your slick heat. “So ready for me, baby.”
You clutched at his shoulders again, nodding once before kissing him again with the passion of a starved woman. His lips stayed connected as you heard the rustling of his belt buckle below you followed by the zip of his jeans.
The space was tight, only urging the closeness between you. He rubbed the head of his cock around your core a few times, teasing you just a little before starting to ease himself in.
You both cried out as he stretched you out little by little. You clung on to him, burying your face in his neck as he held your hips steady. “Good girl,” he rasped, kissing your temple. “Take me. Fuck, that’s it.”
You eased down on him even slower, feeling every vein pulsing, making his cock even harder.
When you were sitting completely on his lap, you looked down into his soft, brown eyes, illuminated by the low, warm lights, and began to rock back and forth, finding your rhythm. Each movement had his pelvis rubbing against your clit.
”Sebastian,” you moaned out.
His hand snaked its way into your hair again, tugging just enough to make you gasp. He kissed you hard, swallowing down every sound that escaped your lips.
But the ceiling was too low and as you leaned back, feeling the moment, you bumped your head with a low thud. You froze a second, shocked, and then laughed a little before he pulled you down again.
”Stay close,” he panted, holding you tightly against his heaving chest. “Just stay with me, baby.”
You found your pace again, grinding back and forth with him inside of you, feeling every sensation against your walls.
“There, just like that. Use me,” he whispered in your ear.
He watched as you continued moving, letting yourself feel the shockwaves build up inside of you.
And then you felt his thumb begin to rub circles around your clit.
“S-shit. S-Sebastian,” you barely got out.
”Do you like that sweetheart?” He cooed.
You bit your lip and nodded your head against his.
”Are you going to come for me?”
You nodded again, unable to muster up the words.
You could only moan, nothing in the dictionary—a sound deep from within you.
The tightness started winding up slowly and then all at once until you could barely stand it.
Below you, you could tell Sebastian was getting close too by the way his hips took over where yours had faltered and he began driving into you erratically.
You tightened around him as you felt your release begin to boil over.
”That’s it baby, such a good girl,” he grunted with clenched teeth.
You closed your eyes and felt the waves take over your whole body. You saw stars behind your lids as you rode out your high on Sebastian’s cock.
Warmth then filled you as he released, spewing all inside of you and leaking out.
When you were both panting messes and he was empty, leaving you full, he kissed you one more time before pulling out of you.
He cleaned the two of you off with an old blanket he had hiding under the seat and helped you redress in the backseat of his car.
When you were both settled back in the front seat, he looked at you once more like he had earlier, in complete and utter awe of you.
”I think Cherry Wine might be our new song, sweetheart,” he said as he put the car into drive.
”A song about a toxic relationship?” You asked with a brow raised.
”Baby, the only thing I’ll be able to think of when I hear that song is how beautiful you looked tonight. How beautiful you always look.”
He placed a hand on your thigh, now bare in some spots from where he had ripped your tights, and drove you home.
A/N: I got a couple of requests to make some progress updates! Thank you all for the love on I’ll Cover You part 1!! I hope you guys like this one too!
Summary: Daryl has always taken care of you, but now he’s learning to take care of you while growing a baby. Even if she seems determined to mess with him every step of the way.
After the night at Siddiq’s all those months ago, you knew by those two pink lines, you had been pregnant. Still, a small part of you had told yourself the test had been wrong, even though deep down, you knew it was real.
You could feel it.
Every time you imagined a growing baby inside of you, something fluttered. But now, there was no more denying it.
Your belly was growing by the day.
First, you noticed the way your jeans no longer wanted to button. Daryl was able to find more for you, but eventually you lived in stretchy leggings.
And then the skin below your navel popped out beneath every shirt you owned. Daryl found you more of those too, but your baby was stubborn and wanted to be seen.
So you embraced the new cropped length of your shirts.
Daryl hadn’t minded either. Your ever-growing belly was one of his new favorite things about you. After he had been out of the house all day, whether on guard duty, runs, or his new chore of tending to the garden, your belly was always the first thing his worn hands gravitated towards as soon as he was back home.
Today was no different.
While he was out on the wall guarding the small town, you were at the house. More specifically in bed.
It had taken a lot of convincing, but you were finally okay with giving up your chores and staying inside. You hadn’t realized in the beginning just how much work making a baby was. Even getting out of bed was a job.
When the sun was high in the sky and peaking through your curtains, you rolled out of bed and padded down the stairs into your kitchen. Food was becoming less scarce now that it was time to harvest. Every day, Daryl was coming home with a basket of fresh vegetables and baked bread.
You rummaged through the basket and landed on having a tomato sandwich. It wasn’t the same as the ones you grew up eating, but a craving was a craving and your baby was demanding a food he or she had never even tasted before.
You sliced the bread first on a wooden cutting board that had been tucked away in a cabinet. Carol was always baking fresh goods for the community and her bread was heavenly. It was always soft and pillowy, with the perfect crispy crust.
Then you sliced the tomato. The thought alone was enough to send you back to your days of gardening. You missed it some days, but most, you were grateful for the break. This tomato in particular was ruby red—plucked at the best time.
Juice oozed out as the knife slid through the skin, dripping across the board. Your stomach rumbled and felt empty as you continued cutting.
The tomato smell permeated the air, filling your senses with the fresh garden scent. You knew it was going to satisfy the desire you felt.
You placed two thin slices between the two pieces of bread you had cut, deeming it the perfect ratio and went to take a bite. However, despite how delicious it tasted to you, nausea hit you straight away.
You dropped your food on the counter and bolted to the bathroom.
Heave after heave, your one bite came up along with stomach acid. Over and over you wretched until your stomach felt even more empty than it had before.
The craving was gone along with any desire to eat, so you trekked back to your kitchen to get yourself a glass of water to get rid of the horrid taste in your mouth and went back to bed.
Your bed is where you spent the rest of your day, dozing in and out of sleep until you heard the front door open and shut, and the sound of boots walking up the steps.
You couldn’t help but giggle to yourself as you waited for Daryl to walk in. He stood in the doorway a moment, admiring you with a soft smile before laying in the bed with you.
And his hands found their way to your belly.
”How was your day, sweetheart?” He mumbled against your lips as he kissed you.
”Hmm,” you breathed, soaking him in. “It was alright. Beside your stubborn child making me nauseous. All I wanted was a dang tomato sandwich.”
He huffed a laugh. “Takin’ after her mama already.” Daryl was already set in stone that your baby was a girl.
And he thinks the stubbornness comes from you…
”Not funny, Daryl Dixon.”
After cuddling for a while, the day was starting to turn orange, hinting at the soon sunset.
“Let me make ya somethin’ to eat,” he said, playing with your hair.
”You don’t have to.”
”Yeah, baby, I do.”
His words caused more fluttering in your belly. He had taken care of you since the day he met you, always, but you’d be damned if he didn’t spoil you like crazy now.
He helped you slide out of bed, still adorned in his old shirt you had claimed and had been wearing as a night shirt, and held your hand all the way downstairs.
You sat at the island and watched as Daryl heated up some green beans and potatoes—something hearty and savory.
You stomached it this time. Daryl was starting to learn which foods were safer and which foods to stay away from.
Later, when you both finally crawled back into bed, a place you had been more often than not that day, you laid on your side with a quiet exhale.
Daryl found his place behind you with his arm draped carefully around your waist, hand sprawling across your stomach.
You melted right into his touch, your eyes already growing heavy again. “You know… I really did want that sandwich.”
You could feel vibrations against your back as your boyfriend chuckled. “Mhm,” he hummed.
”I’m serious! I had Carol’s fresh bread and everything.”
”Sound devastated, baby.”
“I am devastated.”
He laughed again, a little harder this time. He leaned forward and pressed a soft kiss to your temple before settling behind you again.
The room fell quiet.
After a few moments, you knew he had fallen asleep by the way his hand had relaxed around you. You snuggled in closer to him and allowed his soft snores to lull you to sleep.
The next morning greeted you the same. He kissed you a few times before leaving for garden duty. You loved these days the most because you could see him outside the window a few streets over.
After he left, taking the warmth with him, you stayed huddled under the covers for a couple more hours.
When you did finally rise up, it was only to waddle down the steps and into the kitchen, ravenous for food. You settled on a bright green apple. The sourness always calmed your nausea. Siddiq had told you the sourness tricks your brain into focusing on that instead of the sickly feeling.
It was juicy and the perfect balance of sweet and sour, with a nice crisp peel.
After you finished your apple while leaning against the counter, you, or rather your baby, decided that was enough standing and it was time to sit again.
The couch squashed beneath you as you sat down right in the middle, propping your legs up on the coffee table.
You rested a moment before deciding now was the perfect opportunity to admire just how round your belly had become. You tugged the hem of your shirt upward. “Hi,” you murmured while rubbing your hand across your skin.
Sometimes it felt silly talking to your stomach, but Siddiq had told you the practice was good for developing babies.
Your hand continued to drift over the curve of it, fingertips tracing absent-minded patterns. You started to hum lightly, a lullaby from your childhood, one you couldn't even remember the name of now.
And then something moved. You immediately froze. Your breath caught.
It wasn’t pain. It wasn’t cramps. Just the faintest little tap from somewhere inside of you.
”Oh…” you breathed.
For a small second, you almost thought you imagined it, but then it happened again, stronger this time. You could see the thump on the outside of your belly as it hit the inside of your palm.
Tears welled in your eye before you could think to stop them.
“Hello there,” you said, barely above a whisper. Another small kick answered, sending shivers down your spine. You let out a sound that was a mix between laughter and a sob. “Hi.” That one was even quieter.
Your hand sprawled out across your belly, trying to hold onto as much as you could.You couldn’t stop smiling. Or crying.
”Your dad is going to lose his mind,” you laughed.
What felt like hours went by as you waited for his arrival home. You stayed planted on the couch with your hand on your belly, feeling every kick from your baby. Each one was even more amazing than the last.
The door creaked open and Daryl walked in, huffing a laugh seeing you with your belly out. It was his favorite sight to see.
”Hey, sweetheart,” he said, setting down his crossbow against the wall. He took it everywhere with him still. “You okay?”
”More than okay,” you squealed. “Come here.” He kicked off his shoes and walked over to you. “Give me your hands.”
You took his hands and set them against your belly as if presenting something. “What’re ya doin’?” He laughed.
”I felt the baby kick!”
”…Ya did?” He breathed, eyes already shining at the thought.” He went completely still, like even the slightest movement might ruin the moment.
You waited. And waited. And waited. Nothing this time.
“Really?” You asked.
”She’s stubborn.”
”I know this. I tell you at least ten times a day, she gets it from you.” He playfully rolled his eyes, but you knew he was disappointed. “I swear she was kicking me like crazy.”
He pulled his hands away, stood up, and headed towards the kitchen. “Probably sleepin’ now.’
Over the next week, it became a pattern. Every single time.
You would feel movement and go looking for him. “Daryl! Daryl hurry!” Or “Oh my God, she’s doing it again.”
But every time, without fail, Daryl would drop whatever he was doing and put his hand carefully on your stomach and was met with nothing.
By day three, Daryl stared at your belly. “This kid’s messin’ with me.”
You laughed. “Is not.”
”She is,” he said. “Every damn time.”
Another afternoon, you practically dragged him away from sharpening arrows because the baby was going wild. But the second his palm reached your skin, everything went still.
He narrowed his eyes. “Ain’t funny.”
You leaned over and laughed, your belly bouncing up and down, but all he could do was grumble under his breath about stubborn babies.
A few days later, late one evening, the two of you were snuggled up in bed together. The room was nearly pitch black, all except for the moonlight peering in from the curtain.
You were half-asleep with Daryl’s arm resting across your stomach. He was sleeping quietly behind you, breathing against your hair.
Everything was still. Quiet.
And then—thump.
Another kick followed almost immediately. “Daryl,” you whispered excitedly.
”Hm?”
The baby kicked again, straight into his hand. Daryl stilled completely, afraid to even breathe. You glanced around you to see his face, tears stinging both of your eyes.
Another little kick pressed against his palm. He made a sound you had never heard before. Something softer than he had ever allowed to escape his body.
”Oh, Daryl,” you cooed.
And then he laughed, Quiet and disbelieving, but a true laugh. He looked utterly awestruck, in love, happy.
”Hey, baby,” he whispered softly to your stomach, causing the baby to move again. He leaned forward to rest his forehead against your shoulder blade, trying to muster up some strength.
”She knows your voice.”
”Mhm,” but strength still had not found him. He pulled his head back only to lean down and press a small kiss to your belly. And when you looked at him again, he was smiling. The kind of smile you only got to see when he forgot to hide it.
Soon after, the baby fell back to sleep inside of you. The two of you settled back into each other. The only sound filling the room was your breathing and the crickets chirping outside your window.
”I hope she has your eyes,” you said softly.
”Ya finally agree she’ll be a girl?” He laughed.
“I may have a feeling…”
He pressed a kiss to your shoulder, taking a moment to breathe you in.
You felt safe as your heavy eyes fluttered shut as Daryl continued rubbing slow circles across your exposed stomach. He held you both tightly for the rest of the night.
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