Soprano: unless it’s an opera buffa, you are probably screwed. a few survival methods are:
- run away with the mezzo
- try not to get tuberculosis
Tenor: almost as screwed as the soprano
- be a jerk, they somehow tend to survive
- get a soprano to die for you (not entirely foolproof but sometimes works)
- DO NOT piss off the baritone
- also do not duel the baritone
- just be gay for the baritone it’s the best idea (careful tho: you might be related)
- find a wise bass to teach you the way of the Jedi
Mezzo/Contralto: pretty good survival rate, but a few things to watch out for.
- DO NOT piss off the tenor
- DO NOT let your whiny brother rape the tenor’s wife
- just. stay away from tenors
- put on breeches. now you are immortal
Baritone: better survival rates than a tenor or a soprano but oh so many potential deaths…
- DO NOT duel the tenor. Statistically you have a better chance at winning but what if his boyfriend is the Dark Lord Satan?
- do not be the title character in anything that isn’t opera buffa, you WILL be dead
- if you are good-aligned, you dead
- if a bass tells you the other bass is evil and wants you dead. maybe LISTEN
- if there is another baritone, and you KNOW he’s a treacherous little shit, jail him immediately instead of letting him roam free around your drink
- do not leave sharp objects where sopranos can see them
- do NOT provoke the bass. you may win at first, but the motherfucker will be back, now with supernatural powers
Bass: generally pretty good survival rates, but…
- DO NOT provoke the baritone. your low constitution (because you put all points into cunning) vs his maxed strength will not have good results
- be the Devil, you can’t die and you already live in Hell
- maybe do not murder children for the throne. just a suggestion
- do not try to fight whoever seduced your daughter. it’s not worth it
- do not think you can get away with being a terrible husband if your father-in-law is a god
theartofmadeline
baratheonpilled
turnnoffyourmind
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