It was July 2020, and I had just watched Love Never Dies for the first time. It made me boot up my computer and write some fix-it fic for the first time since I was a teenager. It was Covid, and I was alone in my apartment thinking "truly no way is anyone into this musical enough for there to be a fandom..." Thank goodness I was wrong. I found the phantom tag on tumblr, and there was Unsung Christine fan art. Who was this? I wondered, clicking on Fish's username.
"Oh my God there's a phandom," I realized, clicking on Saturday Streams. I rushed to my bedroom so no one would see what I was doing and logged on with some Phoebe Bridgers song I liked as a username (Thank goodness "emo" didn't stick as my stream name).
"Hi!" Said Fish, and I was Perceived, and Welcomed, and all of a sudden there was a link in the chat to join a discord (what the hell is discord, I wondered). Suddenly my bedroom at the end of the world wasn't so lonely, and soon we were collecting phantom actors, and inside jokes, and I met a playwright from Portland who loved the Tudors like me, and an artist in Georgia who wasn't afraid to tell it like it was, and one day I got a message from the kindest woman in Minnesota offering to beta read, "it's not bad!!!....but there are some typos, Cara."
Still, after staying up all night reading Out of the Woods and Unsung and holding my breath when Raoul punches Erik after all that time, I couldn't believe I was in the same circle as THEE Fish, the one who welcomed me in and wrote those stories that kept me company during the weirdest time of my life. Since the streams have started, though, the mystique came down because of course it did, and I get to call that talented and kind-hearted woman my friend (and got to meet the guppies!).
Phandom is community, full stop, even when we quibble over Star Princess and debate the best Wishing song, and it wouldn't be that without Fish. She is a leader without ego, someone who quietly puts the work in to include the new person, or comment on your fic, or remind you to log off, Cara, instead of firing off some message. She also literally rehabs baby birds. Snow White behavior.
I just wanted to say something because I don't believe everything happens for a reason but when I look back at the online world I'm in, Fish is an indelible part of it, with her work, yes, but also her kindness, her eye for an excellent "hand," her knowledge base, and her heart, even when things can be polarizing and petty.
Now you guys get (my) Deb, and you're going to learn about a new, tactful, kind person...who isn't afraid to tell someone to turn their phone off in a theater. Seriously, she's a little scary. But I can't wait to see what she does with the streams and I will be there to support 100%.
In some ways its a weekly stream, but if you think it's just that...Idk. I hope you can join us and see for yourself, before or after Fish steps down.
