<33 I hope you have a great day, Jelly. You deserve it. Youâve been so sweet to us all and youâve impacted our lives so much. Youâre an amazing friend and we love you very very much.
also here have a crapfic just for you
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âThis is absurd,â a tiny voice groused at about knee-level.
Jason glanced down at the toddler, fighting to keep a smirk off his face. âDid Dickie take pictures yet?â
âYes,â the little boy snapped, crossing his arms across his chest with a scowl. Damian had inherited Bruceâs grimace, but even genetics couldnât stand against all that baby fat. Not that it stopped him from trying.
Damian sniffed in disdain, tugging on the hem of Superman shirt. âWhy do I have to wear this? Why do we even own this?â
Tim looked up from his computer, fingers clacking on the keyboard lightly. âClark brought it over for Dick last time he gotâŠâ Here he paused for a beat, waving his hand awkwardly in Damianâs direction, to where the de-aged Robin steamed. âYou know. Like that.â
Jason bent down to scoop the youngest of the Wayne kids up, setting him up on his shoulders. âCâmon, kid. Dick wants to show you off at the park.â
âHave fun!â Tim singsonged under his breath as Jason walked away, snorting as Damian flailed on Jasonâs shoulders.
âPut me down, Todd! I can walk!â
To his credit, Jason did not seem perturbed. On the contrary, he was having the time of his life, judging from the smug grin on his face. He marched down the long hallways of Wayne manor with the brat on his shoulders, and when the tiny fists attacking his head got annoying, he merely slipped his grip to Damianâs ankles, grip steady as he unceremoniously held him upside down.
Damian squawked in outrage, sputtering as Jason bounded down the stairs. He tried to right himself, to somehow try to overpower Todd (though the elder had five feet and 200 pounds on him), but his deaged body had none of the muscle mass of his normal self.
Eventually he resigned himself to the humiliation, the blood rushing to his face. He was unsure if it was from gravity or embarrassment, but either way he swore he would make Todd pay when he returned to normal.
âJay, leave him alone.â Dick clucked his tongue softly in exasperation as he walked over, taking Damian and righting him carefully.
Jason rolled his eyes, ruffling Damianâs hair. âHeâs fine. Didnât hurt a hair on his head.â
âAre we really going to the park, Grayson?â Damian asked as he slapped Jasonâs hands away, looking up at the acrobat. âI donât want to go. We should stay here and research ways to get me backââ
Dick crouched down to eye level, stemming the flow of words with a light tap to Damianâs forehead. âRelax, Damian. Zatanna already said it would go away on its own. So for now, letâs just go have some fun, okay? We can go get some pizza on the way home.â
âButâŠâ Damian huffed when Dick squished his head lightly as he stood.
âNo buts. Besides, Colinâs gonna meet us at the park.â
âFine.â Damian marched to the door, head held high. âBut only because we shouldnât waste Colinâs time.â
***************************************************************
Colin, thankfully, took everything in stride, and didnât seem to mind the sudden change.
âI watch over the little kids at the orphanage sometimes,â he shrugged, holding his hand out automatically to help Damian up the steps of the jungle gym. Damian swallowed back the retort on his tongue; Colin wasnât implying he was a little kid, and his smaller body had various limitations. So with a grimace, he gripped Colinâs hand and hauled himself up the steps.
There were quite a few children playing in the jungle gym, but they kept their distance which suited Damian just fine. Jason and Dick were seated at one of the many benches along the sandy area, and seem to have made friends with the moms watching over their kids. Further along, a cluster of kids was seated around a few picnic tables, doing arts and crafts of some sort.
Damian heaved a sigh, flopping back on the jungle gym, the hard plastic floor hot under his thin shirt. âThis is terrible. I canât even go on patrol.â
âI would hope not,â Colin teased, sitting down next to him. âYouâre great and all, but Iâm pretty sure Killer Croc could eat you for breakfast right now.â
âIâd eat him first,â Damian snapped back, rolling over onto his stomach. Grayson was an idiot. Parks were boring and smelled of dirt and sticky children. The jungle gym wasnât even challenging enough worth going through, even as a training exercise.
Colin looked around, yawning. âDo you wanna go draw over there? It might be more fun than thisâŠâ
Damian sat up just to stare Colin down, giving the redhead time to reconsider what he had just said. Colin rolled his eyes, an embarrassed flush crawling up his neck. âIâm just saying, itâs better than just sitting here.â
âTheyâre civilians,â Damian replied, contempt dripping from his words. âAnd theyâre children. We donât have anything in common with them.â
âWellâŠâ Colin rolled his eyes, reaching over to flick Damianâs forehead lightly. âIt could be training. You could be undercover. You need to study them so that you can act like a normal kid if something ever comes up!â
Damian rubbed the spot on his forehead, frowning in thought. He knew it was just a ploy, but maybe Colin had a point. Mingling could be a learning experience, an opportunity to flex his acting skills.
âLetâs go see then.â He wiggled off the jungle gym and dusted himself off, walking with Colin to the picnic tables.
A brown-haired woman in a floral shirt smiled at them as they approached. âHi, bubbies! Do you wanna join us?â
Damian nodded slowly, looking up at Colin as if to ask for permission. âCan weâŠ?â
Colin valiantly suppressed a laugh, looking up at the woman. âIs that okay?â
âOf course it is!â The woman herded them towards the rest of the group, settling them down near the end of the table with some paper and colored pencils. âIf you need anything just let me know, okay?â
By the time Dick and Jason had come around, Damian had meticulously taken requests from every child at the table, drawing everything from unicorns to passing dogs to the Batman himself.
âYouâre an amazing artist,â the woman, Miss Bee, had praised, peeking over his shoulder as he carefully shaded Batmanâs cape. âYou have a lot of potential.â
âThank you,â Damian muttered, trying to concentrate on making everything perfect. Colin slid over an eraser, and he took it gratefully. It was hard, making good work with subpar equipment.
Miss Bee smiled, continuing as she picked some of the discarded supplies. âMaybe you should be an artist when you grow up.â
Damian shrugged, brushing eraser bits off his lap. âIâm gonna be something better.â
Triumphantly, Damian finished the picture, sliding it carefully to the girl who had requested it. She gasped in wonder and scurried off to show her parental figures. That settled, Damian turned to face the woman, looking up solemnly.
âIâm gonna be the Batman.â
************************************
Dick would forever be grateful for the technology that allowed him to carry a cellphone with video capabilities around everywhere.
âIâm gonna be the Batman.â The little pudgy toddler stated proudly, eliciting another round of cooing from the rest of the family.
âHeâs so cute,â Stephanie sighed, wiping the tears of mirth from her eyes. âWe should post this online. It would go viral.â
âDonât you dare!â Damian snarled, muffled voice coming from inside the dinosaur. He had been hiding up there since Dick had shown the rest of the family the video, face flaming red in mortification.
âWeâre not going to post it anywhere,â Bruce warned, but everyone could see how pleased he was to hear those words come out of his childâs mouth. He even looked a little teary as the video played again on the Batcomputer.
âIâm gonna be the Batman.â
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