‧₊˚✩ Synopsis: White and Yellow try to convince Wade that Peter is only dating him out of pity and that he doesn't really love him.
Peter proves to him that he does.
‧₊˚✩ Tags: Peter Parker/Wade Wilson, hurt/comfort, established relationship, wade wilson's thought boxes (white and yellow), self-esteem issues, wade wilson needs a hug, they love each other
Throughout their relationship, it became quite usual for Peter and Wade to often hang out at each other's apartments either to watch movies or shows together, play video games, or simply be with one another.
Tonight is one such night — after a relatively peaceful evening patrol, the two supers headed to Wade's place as it happened to be closer to where they had decided to call it a night.
Eventually, they find themselves sitting mask-less side by side, adorned with barely matching Hello Kitty pajamas Wade dug out of his closet as the sizable TV across the room drones on in the background, drowned out by their animated conversation, the show they had been watching slowly becoming completely forgotten by both parties.
Around anybody else, Wade would feel far too exposed without his mask on and out of his full Deadpool getup, but this is Peter — thoughtful, open-minded, beautiful Peter. It's taken him a while to get to this point, but he finally feels no need to hide around the other man — he can bare his face, show his skin, be himself, and Peter will smile genuinely and match his energy perfectly, like pieces of a jigsaw puzzle falling into place.
At a certain point, whilst Wade is blabbering about one thing or another, Peter turns sideways on the worn loveseat in order to face the taller man fully, elbow propped against the backrest as his face rests comfortably against his palm.
He listens attentively as Wade talks and talks, so much so that the man eventually glances at him a moment longer than earlier and suddenly stumbles over his words. Peter simply nods his head, indicating he's still listening as Wade continues — only now, he lacks the confidence he had moments ago as those beautiful baby browns bore into his very soul.
It may not be Peter's intention, nor objectively how he's looking at him at all, but it feels that way to Wade — he feels as though the brunette can see into his heart by the way his gaze stays on his face the whole time.
The though suddenly brings to attention the fact that Wade's face is bare. He's exposed with nowhere to go and he begins feeling his heart speed up, anxiety slowly building as he begins feeling somewhat like a cornered animal.
{He's probably thinking of a way to break up with you! I mean, look at you, and look at him.}
Yellow supplies entirely unhelpfully.
Wade bites his tongue and digs his nails into the palm of his hand, hard.
The comment and the feeling it causes to manifest makes bile rise in Wade's throat as the boxes only continue berating him. He squeezes his eyes shut, clenching his jaw as he tries to drown out the annoying, grating, demeaning voices swimming through his head.
This fact goes almost undetected by Peter, save for the fact that Wade has suddenly gone quiet. His hands are fidgeting slightly and he's started bouncing his leg.
His brows furrow as he takes notice, suddenly concerned.
"Keep talking, I was listening." He tries, gently urging Wade on as he carefully watches for his reaction.
Wade opens his eyes suddenly, turning his head towards Peter as frantic pale blue meets gentle chocolate brown.
Only then does he notice his obviously odd behaviour, slowly unclenching his fists as he inhales deeply. He realises, then, to his own horror, that Peter definitely noticed his sudden sullenness and, by the look on the man's face, is incredibly worried yet trying not to show it.
A lesser man may not have noticed this, but Wade knows Peter far too well for that to happen.
"Baby boy, it's kind of hard to focus when you're ogling me like that…" Wade finally says, voice slightly strained due to the undivided care he's receiving from the hero, exposing his already clear nervousness even more against his will.
Peter, in turn, looks confused for all of a second before the realisation seems to dawn on him.
"Oh! I'm sorry, I didn't mean to be rude, it's just–" He pauses, suddenly looking mournful. He chews on his bottom lip guiltily, suddenly feeling bad for staring at Wade.
Wade's eyes flick down to the movement, his own mouth suddenly feeling dry at the sight. For a moment, he almost forgets the current situation he finds himself in — that is, until White decides to ruin it, as per usual.
[He was definitely staring at our disgusting face and feeling sorry for himself.]
He swallows, turning his gaze down at the worn cushions beneath them.
At this point, if ti were anyone else, Wade would probably say something like "It's like looking at a car crash, right? Can't look away even though you want to…", but Peter would naturally beg to differ. No matter how much Wade degrades himself, Peter finds it impossible to ever see the man in that same light.
Wade likes to think that's because the man actually loves him — which also happens to be the reason he finds behind Peter agreeing to an actual committed relationship with the merc. The boxes try to convince him Spider-man just feels sorry for him.
In reality, looking at Wade's scars has never once made Peter think of ugliness — it only ever made him think of pain.
So he decides to inquire about it, hoping it will explain his aforementioned staring and help him somehow save face.
His voice is much quieter now, soft and careful as if he were approaching a scared, feral animal. Ironically enough, that is exactly how Wade feels right now — like a helpless, lonely, fearful animal cornered not by a predator, but an ally. An animal that can't quite tell the difference, with all instincts screaming at it to run from it, but its hope telling it to trust.
He brings his gaze back up to the other man's, his instincts and the stupid boxes telling him he'll see hatred and distaste, but his eyes showing him understanding and worry.
Wade can't remember the last time somebody looked at him with worry.
He notices the change in Peter's voice when he asks the question and silently appreciates the welcome contrast between his boyfriend's kind tone and everyone else's usually disgusted one when the topic of his skin comes into the picture.
Boyfriend… He'll never get used to that…
[Well, you shouldn't. He's going to leave us anyway, so why get comfortable?]
He swallows roughly as the questions settle in the suddenly deafeningly quiet room, breaking eye contact to look down at his hands — dry and achy, palms littered in angry, red crescent shapes — fidgeting quietly and immediately regretting it as the movement and friction only causes the aforementioned pain to amplify.
Before he can think of a witty response to save the remnants of his pride, the brunette gently butts in again to clarify.
"Wade, I'm just asking cause I'm worried about you, that's all..." He says, voice still entirely too gentle for somebody as undeserving of it as Wade.
He almost lets that thought slip out through his mouth, but determinedly bites the inside of his cheek to hold it back, knowing self-deprecating comments were not welcome in Peter's books.
And as if he could read his mind, Peter seems to notice the effort accompanied by his unusual silence, his eyes softening slightly and brows furrowing further in sympathy as he patiently waits for Wade to gather his thoughts and respond.
He doesn't push, either — just waits patiently, gaze carefully tracing the sharp outline of Wade's baby blues as the man collects himself.
The two vigilantes sit in silence for quite a while before the ex-merc finally builds the courage to speak honestly.
"They do." He confesses, voice barely above a whisper, eyes still stubbornly darted away from Peter's own, "The scars, I mean. They—"
Wade cuts himself off, pathetically waving a hand beside himself, hoping it clarifies what he meant.
It does, and Peter simply waits for more, still reverently staring at the side of Wade's disfigured face.
The latter refuses to even take a peek out of the corner of his eye in fear of seeing said expression on the other man's own face — he fears that the exposure to such… love would only make him feel worse about himself.
[It's not like you deserve it, so why bother looking?]
{Love? Why would anyone, let alone Spider-man, love you?}
He does, Wade thinks pathetically as his fists clench again in response.
"There's good days and bad days, but either way they never stop."
Wade doesn't quite know whether he's talking only about the scars, or about them and the insufferable boxes in his head.
[Oh, we're the insufferable ones?]
{Look at you! You're basically crying like a little girl in front of this gorgeous man and making a fool of yourself! GROW A PAIR!}
Wade clenches his jaw again, nostrils unintentionally flaring as he pointedly tries to ignore the two.
"I thought so," Peter pauses again, calculatingly looking over at the scars actively shifting before his eyes before he continues, "they look... tight–"
"Not the only thing about me that's tight..." Wade's pitiful tone greatly contrasts the raunchy words, unfortunately not having the desired effect but at least causing Peter to smile slightly at the intended sentiment.
He reaches out, resting his palm gently against Wade's shoulder in an attempt to comfort him, gently rubbing his thumb over the fabric of his shirt, hoping the intent translates.
"See, that line might've worked on me had your tone not been so sad." He confesses, albeit smiling widely as Wade sighs dejectedly at the feeling flooding his chest.
[He pities you. Don't believe anything he says.]
Wade visibly flinches at Yellow's scream, pulling his hands into his lap as he clenches his eyes in a desperate attempt to ignore.
Peter, on the other hand, pulls his arm back just a hair, hoping not to overwhelm the man clearly going through a mental battle.
The observation causes him to quickly remember the fact that Wade actually did hear voices and Peter suddenly feels ten times worse than before.
Have they been contrarian to everything he was saying to Wade?
Have they been insulting him the whole time Peter was doing the opposite?
Slightly on a whim, and hoping he hasn't misjudged the situation, he decides to assure Wade that the "boxes" — as Wade calls them — are wrong. Whatever horrible things they're spewing against him right now is complete bullshit and Peter will not stand for it.
"Don't listen to them." He says firmly, albeit still keeping his voice low and quiet, comforting Wade while leaving no room for any more self-degradation.
The other man looks up at him anew, hairless eyebrows raised and eyes slightly wide in surprise.
For a second there, Wade forgot that he'd told Peter about White and Yellow a while back, near the beginning of their relationship. At the time, he had thought that telling Peter all the things that were wrong with him upfront would finally make him realise how not fit for each other they are and how much of a better person than himself Peter deserves.
But the brunette had only offered him his unconditional care and support, even curiously asking more questions about everything he was told in an attempt to get to know the ex-merc even better — as though he actually wanted to do so.
Wade may or may not have cried himself to sleep that night after replaying the interaction in his head close to a million times, overwhelmed by the love he felt radiating from the other man, even so early into their relationship.
Peter suddenly shuffles a bit closer to him, moving both hands to rest over Wade's own, ceasing their fidgeting as he takes each one into one of his own.
"Wade, look at me." The brunette says, voice gentle but once again, leaving no room for disagreement.
Wade obeys, gaze hesitantly meeting Peter's own, the eye contact suddenly making him feel nervous for an entirely different reason, his fingertips twitching slightly, instinctively leaning into the skin-on-scarred-skin contact between them.
[For so many "instincts", you sure don't listen to us.]
{PETER'S MANIPULATING YOU! DON'T LISTEN TO HIM!}
As the man in question begins to speak again, his smooth, low voice easily drowns out the grating ones in his head.
"As unbelievable as it might sound to you, you are one of the most amazing people I have ever had the pleasure of meeting," Peter begins, making sure to hold eye contact with his boyfriend in order to fully get his point across.
"That can't be true…" Wade says, surprised the sentiment didn't come from either of the boxes first.
[Seems like you're finally catching on.]
"Shh…" Peter shushes him gently, rubbing his thumbs over the backs of Wade's hands in a hopefully soothing manner, "Just let me try to explain to you how I see you."
Wade's mouth falls shut as he nods obediently, the actions causing Peter to smile proudly before continuing to speak.
{You're pathetic! He's walking you like a dog!}
"Wade… I don't know how many times I have to show you or tell you how much I love you, but I'll keep doing it until you finally accept the fact that I love you." He says, emphasizing every word in hopes of Wade understanding what he's trying to convey, "You're not the same person you were when I met you. Neither am I, honestly. And that's for the better, don't you think?"
Wade recognizes that the question is rhetorical, but he still nods, unable to deny anything Peter tells him. If Peter were to tell him the Earth is flat and that the Sun will explode tomorrow, Wade would believe him in a heartbeat.
He finds himself practically hypnotized by the other's words, incapable of disregarding them, like a sailor led astray by a siren's song — except Wade's being led down the right path, unlike the contrary that the boxes are still trying to convince him of.
"This might sound cheesy, but every day that I spend with you, I wish that I'd met you years earlier so we'd have been together longer," Peter says, snorting slightly at the sentence he just uttered, "Okay, that was definitely cheesy."
Wade smiles in response, although to him, it read as nothing but sincere. He smiles in response instead of laughing along because his heart reflects the sentiment wholly.
"My point is, you're wonderful. I don't want you to believe anything different because nothing of the sort is true." Peter says honestly, and Wade can finally feel his insecurities being — at the very least — dampened by the words, "I love you so much, and I need you to see that."
Peter rambles on about how incredible Wade is, how smart, skilled, and brave he is, how deserving he is of all of this attention and affection…
How beautiful he thinks he is.
Wade doesn't remember the last time those two concepts were uttered in the same breath. And he suddenly doesn't want to forget it.
After who knows how long, Peter finishes his entirely genuine demonstration of his love for Wade and how much he deserves it.
The words settle comfortingly in the space between them as Wade allows himself to sit in them in stunned silence for a bit before clearing his throat and speaking again.
"Wow, they—" Wade scoffs softly, looking back up at Peter in newfound awe, "No clapbacks this time…"
"And there better not be any more insults either." He says firmly, partially feigning anger as he physically points a finger at Wade, yet directs it at the other two living in his head.
Wade snorts despite himself, causing Peter to look slightly confused while still smiling brightly at him.
"What?" He asks, hoping the noise was a positive indicator of the other man's mood.
"White called you bossy."
"Nothing else?" He narrows his eyes suspiciously.
"Nope." Wade smiles somewhat triumphantly, "You left them speechless…"
Quickly, Wade finds himself in a similar state as he stares at Peter with the same appreciation he had shown him just moments ago.
"I—" He tries, but no words come to the forefront of his mind. For the first time in his life, Wade is incapable of finding something to say.
"Wow, I really rendered the Merc with a Mouth speechless?" Peter states, as if reading his boyfriend's mind. He's clearly impressed with himself, even as he jokes about it, theatrically patting himself on the back, making Wade giggle in response.
The brunette stares at him reverently for a second, in awe of the melodic sound he caused, feeling himself smile at his partner.
"I love making you laugh." He confesses, as if it were the simplest thing in the world. As if it didn't make Wade's heart race and his face flush.
The boxes stay silent throughout the rest of the night.
And for the first time in a while, Wade feels like he can breathe.
in this fic, Wade and Peter have been dating for around a year or so (had been friends for a while before tho)
!!! <3 divider credit to: @pixopix
ᴀʟʟ ᴏꜰ ᴍʏ ᴡᴏʀᴋ ɪꜱ ᴍʏ ᴏᴡɴ. ɪ ᴅᴏ ɴᴏᴛ ɢɪᴠᴇ ᴘᴇʀᴍɪꜱꜱɪᴏɴ ꜰᴏʀ ᴍʏ ᴡᴏʀᴋ ᴛᴏ ʙᴇ ꜱᴛᴏʟᴇɴ, ᴄᴏᴘɪᴇᴅ, ᴛʀᴀɴꜱʟᴀᴛᴇᴅ, ʀᴇᴘᴏꜱᴛᴇᴅ/ᴄʀᴏꜱꜱᴘᴏꜱᴛᴇᴅ, ᴏʀ ꜰᴇᴅ ɪɴᴛᴏ ᴀɴʏ ᴀɪ ᴘʀᴏɢʀᴀᴍꜱ.
