Second (extended) drabble for @opthroughtheageszine!
This one goes with The Heart Pirates and Buggy learning anatomy by tapochekhell, based on The Anatomy Lesson of Dr Nicolaes Tulp by Rembrandt
Anatomy Lessons with Buggy the Clown
Doing surgery on someone who didnât bleed when cut sounded fun in theory. The ideal patient, really.
With his ability, however, it was something Law was accustomed. Since mastering the Op-Op Fruitâs power, Law didnât have to do a single surgery where bleeding was an issue. It was routine for him. It was routine for everyone on his ship.
It should have been routine for them.
âCaptain, your elbowâs in the way.â
Lawâs eye twitched. How in the world did he find himself in this situation? It was supposed to be a quick operation, just dumb appendicitis⌠how, just how did it turn into an âanatomy lessonâ?
âOi, Trafalgar! Are you even doing anything?!â
Closing his eyes momentarily, Law took a deep breath; for a second, he contemplated the pros and cons of sticking a scalpel into his patientâs eye. It wasnât like it was going to hurt him, Buggy the Clown was immune to cutting, it would be fine⌠probably.
Would definitely help relieve some stress if nothing else.
Law clicked his tongue, willing his hand to stay where it was. He couldnât just go stabbing this guy. He wouldnât hear the fucking end of it.
What if he knocked him out first, though�
âCan I like⌠cut out his kidney? It looks fun!â
âNO!!â the goddamned clown screamed, his detached head flying over to glare at Penguin from point blank range, shoving his giant red nose against Penguinâs. While letting his ponytail hit Law in the fucking face.
Suddenly, Law was reminded that he was, apparently, the only adult on this goddamned ship right now. With a sigh, he gave up on stress-relief stabbings⌠for now.
âUnless you all shut up, Iâm going to kick you out,â Law growled dangerously.
âItâs my body! Am I supposed to let your little followers treat me like a circus attraction!?â the clown screeched, whipping around so fast his hair slapped Law in the face.
Law started counting to ten in his mind, contemplating all the life choices that led him to this mess. But, before he even reached five, someone else snapped.
âStop it, guys! You too, clown!â
God bless Ikkaku. At least someone else was sane in hereâ
Law didnât even manage to finish the thought before the girl continued. âI canât see what Captainâs doing!â
Law had enough. Ripping a glove off, his hand shot up; a split second later, he was gripping Buggyâs ponytail, pulling the floating head harshly away from Penguinâand his own face. He ignored the clownâs loud protests and the crewâs clamouring, instead turning to his first mate.
Bepo hummed questioningly, looking up from the anatomy book he was studying to glance at Law, then at the head he was holding, a frown appearing on his face. He tilted his head to the side cutely before looking back at Law, giving his captain his full attention.
âGet them the fuck out of here. Including this head.â
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