LOVE WILL FIND A WAY.

a sacrifice of a mother paves the way for the future of the generation.

[orbseol-deactivated20170912]

episode 2: femme indifferents 

[syxjaewon]

LIGHTS WILL GUIDE YOU HOME AND IGNITE YOUR BONES

@orbjiae

jaewon finds a home in the cockpit of the ship, surprisingly easy given how hesitant he’d been for the whole thing in the first place, the way he’d never been sure until this very moment that he could really survive on a ship like this, with a destination like this. joining the resistance had never really been a big part of his life plan, it is merely a means to an end for him, and only something reaching limitedly into his future, not forever. he hadn’t wanted to join this place in the beginning anyway, only having come here for the necessity of having backup for when he mounts his own personal war against the first order, because no matter who else considered themselves part of this fight, jaewon has taken it personal, which makes it belong to him.

but here he is, half drunk, cradled in the piloting area of the ship, everything set to autopilot so people can get some sleep, and he’s staring out across the stars thinking about how this is his life now, this is him now. it’s fine for a while, but then it gets depressing, the stars twinkling and reminding him that thousands and thousands of years ago, they’ve probably already exploded and become supernovas by now. he’s staring into the beauty of the past and that hurts quite a bit. he hears a noise of someone behind him, some lonely wanderer, another figure in the dark unable to sleep their first night out, same as him, but his initial reaction is of course to pull his blaster out and aim it square at their head. “if you’ve come to kill me, you ought to have been quieter than that.”

[orbjiae-blog]

there are instances where numbers don’t help ji-ae calm down. they’re rare but they still happen and the recent event where it doesn’t work is--well, right now. ji-ae twiddles her thumbs as she walks along the ship, she doesn’t even know where she is right now. all she knows is she’s some light years in space, chasing after some pipe dream called regeneration while trying to figure out her dumb plan of vengeance, probably being hunted by the empire, probably will end up dead by their hands too. that doesn’t sound too bad, death in pursuit of science--ji-ae knows a couple of people who likes that idea and she’d be one of those people if not because of her uncle being still alive. ji-ae makes a noise of worry as she thinks of her uncle, who probably knows where she is, definitely worried sick, probably thinking that she’ll end up dead in the future and oh god this was a bad ide--

ji-ae squeaks in surprise as she hears another person’s voice, preventing her from spiraling down into worry and attempting to escape the ship. “w-who’s there?!” she says nervously. “i-uh--” shit what can she do that can be used as a threat? ji-ae bites her lips as she tries to recall her whole education. “i know how to knock out people with enough pressure?” ji-ae winces internally. drat, that didn’t sound vaguely threatening and technically it’s a lie. ji-ae only knows how to do it in theory.

[orbmina-deactivated20180220]

SQUADRON T-349 … // AND MEMES.

the lunae division + infamous tumblr text posts. (pt. 2/?)

[orbjiae-blog]

ji-ae’s hands tremble in anger.

she’s always thought that her words meant something. that her words weighted at least a significant amount in this world--that her words being a medical professional would at least be enough for her to do what she wanted, to help people. after all, was she not one of the youngest to graduate college and med school? was she not the best of the best--? (sure she may only be a general practitioner--but her professors, esteemed medical doctors in their respective fields, can vouch for her--they did so in the recommendation letters they wrote for her!)

yet here she was at five am. alone in the break room, her face flushed with anger as she tries so hard to stop tears from coming out of her eyes. a cup of cold coffee laid untouched in front of her. it was time for her to clock out, for her to go home and sleep as much as she want to but it felt so wrong to go home. her legs could not bear to stand up from where she was sitting.

five hours ago she was forced to send a patient home to her death. five hours ago, despite the hospital having the means to treat the girl of her broken leg. (she had a broken bone, she was red from fever, swelling around her leg--textbook definition of osteomyelitis and ji-ae was quick to catch on that--was quick to point that out. she had at most a day to live before the infection starts to set in--if only cell regeneration was something viable--something sure and no longer experimental.)

(“she had no money.” her senior had told her when she had . “no way to pay the treatment.” and ji-ae just wants to scoff and shout--did they not take the same oath to help anyone even if they can’t pay for it, to not discriminate in helping? number eight of the oath: i will not permit considerations of age, disease or disability, creed, ethnic origin, gender, nationality, political affiliation, race, sexual orientation, social standing or any other factor to intervene between my duty and my patient.)

ji-ae checks her clock. if the girl couldn’t find a hospital that could treat her at this time, she was good as dead. (the infection would have shocked her immune system, collapsing it and then--)

the doctor closes her eyes and tries so hard to not think of the girl’s widening eyes as she realized that she was being kicked out of the hospital. she tries hard not to think of how she looks now, tries hard to forget about her. (”that’s the definition of a good doctor, ji-ae.” her senior had told her in an attempt to comfort her, but it did nothing but upset her stomach. “the ability to harden your heart.”)

(if min-ji was here--if she was here, ji-ae knows that her senior would have been long punched. would have been long left bleeding on the ground, probably missing a tooth.)

she opens her eyes. this was not the reason why she became a doctor. she became a doctor to help others, because that’s the righteous thing to do. she became a doctor be like one of those doctors she sees on television, always ready to lend a helping hand--always ready to break the law just to help a patient.

(”if i wasn’t a teacher, i’d probably be back treating patients for free. maybe even join the resistance, you know?” she laughs and it’s as if she never died. “but i probably won’t do that. i don’t have the strength to do that, maybe when i was young, but not now.”)

she checks her clock again. ji-ae knows where they keep the necessary tools to help with infection and set broken bones. she knows where the girl lives, she looked at her file earlier. she knows the quickest way to get there.

ji-ae regains the strength to stand up from her table and she runs as fast as she can. this time, she’s not running away from anything and she feels so free.

(she doesn’t come to work the next day.)

[jacksonorb-blog]

Burns | jiae

[orbjiae-blog]

jacksonorb:

Once he’s told he can sit on her chair or anywhere, Jackson just moves to lean against her desk, holding the burnt hand out in front of him a little and following the woman with his eyes as she goes. She’s clearly not very pleased for whatever reason, but he can’t be bothered to figure out why, because he himself is not very pleased either and this is her job. She asks him next if he’s iced the area or at least poured cold water on it and his eyes focus on her with a small frown. There is nothing that this woman is saying to him that makes sense.

“No I didn’t,” he responds honestly. “It was a shorter way to come straight here than to first go find any water or ice.” He blinks a few times, clearly not knowing why this seems such an issue to her. “I figured you guys would have water here too. My bad.” His voice softens at the end of his sentence and he goes quiet as he watches her look back at him for a moment. And then she goes on to explain to him that she doesn’t normally treat patients and that’s not her job here. He’s not sure what is the job of the people in the med bay then, but doesn’t state that, instead he pushes himself up from her desk again.

“You should have told me straight away,” he says calmly, not even trying to go against her words. “I’ll go to someone else then. Who of these people does usually treat wounds like this?” It’s all stated in a very matter-of-fact kind of way, just like most things in his life just are, and he actually waits to get a reply from her so he can leave her to her original job again. Because he wouldn’t appreciate people coming to him with stuff that isn’t his job either.

"next time, do the basic first aid if you do know it.” she frowns, “it makes all the difference, you know. like, what if during the minutes you didn’t do the basic first aid it got infected by like a bacteria because you didn’t notice that you somehow touched infected or rusty metal--which mind you we probably have a lot on this ship! then BOOM!!! next thing you know you’re dead because the infection mutated into an unknown virus and you’re somehow already infecting all of us and and--” ji-ae takes a huge gulp of breath and she calms down for a moment. she looks sheepish, probably realizing how dumb her outburst might look like to him. “now we’re also dead. do the basic first aid first.” she leaves it at that.

she gets a bit distracted by his words and stops momentarily. “you shoved your burned arm in my face without any you know, prior notice and i’m a doctor. i have an oath to help people if they ask for help.” ji-ae tells him in a determined manner. “we have nurses around here that can help so maybe you can look for them next time? but you’re here now so i’m treating this, okay?”

she looks back at the burn and continues finishing applying the ointment. her hands are still shaky but not that shaky compared to when she first started treating it anymore and she’s almost embarrassed that a tiny burn like that could set off memories of the incident. she unrolls the bandages and wraps it around his arm. it’s not her best, but it’ll do.

“now, if it doesn’t go away in two weeks you better come back here okay? something probably happened to it BUT despite what i said before,” she rubs her head sheepishly, “it’s impossible for infection to happen especially with burns like this.”

[orbjiae-blog]

☆: what planet would you most like to visit?

“carosi xii obviously!!! my alma mater is there and most of the years that made me who i am took place there! my remaining family also lives there” ji-ae happily exclaimed, “it’s been a short amount of time but i’d like to see how the place changed while i was away.” she frowns as she settles down to think about it some more, “but now that i think about it, do i really wanna know how much it changed? maybe i’ll change my answer to rhinnal–? you know? APPARENTLY,  they’re known for having the most knowledge on medicine when thats FALSE !!! we all know carosi xii has that, obviously.”

[orbjiae-blog]

hello .... orsem killed me

[jacksonorb-blog]

Burns | jiae

[orbjiae-blog]

jacksonorb:

Jackson looks at the woman for a moment longer, a hint of disbelief appearing on his features when she states it’s a burn and then just stands there looking at his hand like that is going to magically make it better. “Yes, I know it’s a burn. I’m not here for your medical opinion, I know a burn when I see one.” He states after a moment, a little agitated because this medical staff is not doing their job properly. Does anyone see him looking at a broken piece of technology and going ‘It’s broken’? No. Because that would be him being captain obvious and would not be helping anyone any further. Just like this woman is not helping him any further with her superfluous diagnosis.

“I’m here to get it treated. So if you could fix it so I can get back to work, that would be great.” He pauses a moment, looking around the med bay to make sure he is in the right place and isn’t getting frustrated with someone whose job is not at all to treat him, but turns his gaze back to the woman soon when he realises he is in fact in the right place. “Or are you not capable of treating burn wounds? Am I supposed to be in a different department for that?” He inquires, when the thought suddenly comes to mind. Perhaps he is indeed getting frustrated at the wrong person, after all. Once again he scans his surroundings, to see if anyone carries a tag that defines them as being the ‘burn specialist’ or something of the sort.

One would think that a med bay worker can fix any injury, but then maybe that is him expecting too much. He knows nothing about human biology, after all, he’s not going to judge this woman for not knowing something that might just as well be rocket science.

ji-ae’s trance is broken when she hears his sharp words. normally she’d rise up to baits like those--proudly remind people she graduated top of her class at one of the best medical university the galaxy has to offer, but not today. she shakes her head in an effort to reign herself in. her problems and life should not affect her work. she takes a deep breath and stood up from her chair to get the things she’d need to treat the burn. 

“i can and i will treat it.” she replies, a bit monotonous as she walks to a nearby shelf with necessary medical supplies. “you can sit on my chair or anywhere really, just give me a minute. surely you can wait?” she gets the necessary ointment to help with the recovery process and a roll of bandage. she takes a deep breath, hiding her face from the man so that he won’t once again think she’s incompetent and then turns around to walk to him.

“did you ice the burned area before coming here? or at least poured cool water on it?” ji-ae asks as she gently grabs his arm to inspect the burned area. she can feel her hand starting to shaking so she better wrap this up fast. “next time do that first before going here,” she looks up at him to at least show him how inconvenient it was for her to do this and it was--it was inconvenient, not because it wasn’t part of her pay, she’d happily help anyone searching for help, but not burns. never burns.

“you know, i don’t normally treat patients, that’s not my job here. so like, sorry if i do this shabbily.” she tells him as she opens the bottle of ointment and begins gingerly applying it to his skin. she tries her best to actually apply it to the burnt area, but her hands started shaking--this was idiotic--so dumb of her, it’s been months since it had happened and she still can’t get her mind out of the gutter.

[orbjiae-blog]

◉: who would you consider your most trusted companion? your worst enemy? or the one you love the most?

“…” ji-ae stays silent as she considers her options. the people who she loves the most wasn’t truthful to her, from the moment she met the two of them–they lied to her and didn’t reveal the possibility that they were family under the pretense of not wanting to hurt her. and while she loved them to the death and would perhaps die for them, it doesn’t change the fact that they lied or withheld information from her so– ”the one i love the most. i trust them, even if they did me wrong at least i know the wrongs they do were things they thought i’d benefit from--the things they did are the reason why i’m here, doing something i love with all my heart. my worst enemy would just... i don’t know where i stand with them so it’s dangerous.”

[orbjiae-blog]

✉

✉: your favorite childhood memory?

“mm.” ji-ae tries her best to think if there was any good that ever happened in her childhood. “perhaps, none? oh wait!! okay wait, there is one that i really like.” she smiles excitedly, “so one day when i was like nine or ten, i was waiting for my tutor to come; i decided to watch some television, because that’s what i did back then to pass time, you know? HOWEVER!! apparently someone watched the tv before i did and didn’t even bother to change the channel so the thing i saw was a bloody jumpscare from this really really bad horror movie that almost gave me a heart attack!!! i was so surprised that the remote went flying and i ended up crying until min-seok came. this man never had any children nor had any experience with crying children so he was so confused on what he should do.” ji-ae smiles as she thinks of him, “but apparently, min-seok was also a scaredy-cat and when he looked at the tv a jumpscare came on and he was also so ?? surprised that he ended up sitting down on the couch and crying too.” ji-ae laughed as she remembered the whole incident, “it’s so weird, but we ended up finishing the movie and when it was done we were both scared out of our minds to actually study so we just watched a couple of funny movies to calm ourselves down. it was fun.”

[orbjiae-blog]

✗

✗: do you resent, or support the remaining population of force-sensitive / force-users?

“eh, i had a classmate in uni who always told us she was force sensitive and would always use it to lord over us and act like she was better than us. i still hate her even though it’s been like four years–does that count?” ji-ae jokes before she thinks about it some more, “i think i’m neutral on the whole issue. i’ve never met any force sensitive people and it’s unfair for me to judge because of one bad apple so i can’t really make a decision, no?”

[orbjiae-blog]

✂

✂: your greatest fear?

“a fifty paged essay due tomorrow but was given last week and the only reason i’m only doing it now is because i forgot about it.” ji-ae replies dryly. “but i’m no longer in school so that doesn’t count, so perhaps my greatest fear might be... letting someone die before my very eyes." she kicks her shoes a little bit. “i mean, that’s gotta be the worst fear of every doctor out there, right? having the knowledge and means to save someone but... not actually being able to do it.”

[orbjiae-blog]

orbital ask meme nights~!

☆: what planet would you most like to visit?

✗: do you resent, or support the remaining population of force-sensitive / force-users?

☽: what do you look forward to the most on the lunae?

☾: who do you miss the most?

❄: if you could paint the lunae interior any color, what would it be?

🎶: uh oh - loading error. you have to throw one person off the ship into deep space to die. who do you choose?

◉: who would you consider your most trusted companion? your worst enemy? or the one you love the most?

◎: your preferred weapon (when forced) into combat?

►: what's the best lie you've ever told?

✂: your greatest fear?

★: your favorite constellation that you've seen so far during your travels?

△: the universe grants you a chance to erase the existence of the first order. in return, you will forget the lunae squadron, and never be able to see them again. what do you choose?

✉: your favorite childhood memory?

[tiffkyu]

[jacksonorb-blog]

Burns | jiae

[orbjiae-blog]

jacksonorb:

It’s a stupid move, really, and he should have seen his mistake, but the truth is he was thinking about Antario too much. And what he gets in return is, of course, an injury. That’s all the thought of the woman seems to bring him anymore - pain. For some reason it turns him bitter, a sneer appearing on his face, which clears away almost as quickly as it appears. Antario has been there for him ever since the start. He doesn’t know where he would have ended up if not for her taking him in. Dead, probably, killed by the rest of the smugglers who had no use for a six year old boy. Still, he wishes she would stop making his life so miserable now. Not that there is anything much she can do about that, the only reason he’s hurting is because she died, after all. Valiantly, in battle, as she would have wanted to go, but that still doesn’t make the entire ordeal any easier for him.

Apparently the sadness he feels over her loss has now wriggled itself into every part of his life, even going as far as to make him bad at his work. And if there is something Jackson values more than Antario, it’s his work. Fixing things is what he does, tinkering with them, fumbling with them, doing whatever it takes to fix or improve something. So that he managed to jab his tool into the wrong part and cause a small short circuiting in the machine, that is something almost unimaginable. Especially because he has been working with these kind of speed boosters for as long as he can remember, so he knows their workings inside out. If only he had been paying attention, he would have seen how wrong his next move was going.

But alas, he hadn’t been paying attention, and so here he is, on his way to the med bay because of the burn he has sustained by his own failure. A small electric charge has rushed out of the machine and scorched the side of his hand. Not all too badly, he isn’t suffering from first degree burns, but he definitely needs some sort of ointment and a bandage wrap? He’s not quite sure exactly how to treat burn wounds - he’s hardly ever sustained any after all - but he presumes that’s exactly what the people in the med bay are supposed to know.

So he strides inside, coming to a halt two steps in and looking around to see where exactly he’s supposed to announce his presence. When he finds no exact way to go about this, Jackson just looks for the least busy looking person and heads over to them. “I need this treated,” is how he so very eloquently explains his problem, shoving his injured hand almost in the woman’s face so she would understand what he’s talking about. “Quickly so I can get back to work.” He hears Antario say something about politeness in his memory, so he clenches his teeth for a short moment before adding: “Please.”

it wasn’t the best day for ji-ae. 

aside from one of her rats biting her and messing up her research, the university finally sent in min-ji’s remaining possessions for her to go over through and it eludes the doctor how it took them months before they were able to do that. isn’t her university the best one out there? why wouldn’t they be able to do something as simple as send the things of a dead woman to her loved ones?

honestly, ji-ae just wants these things to be over with, take what she would be able to keep (or at least the things she would be able to bear to keep) and send the rest to her uncle. however, even though she wanted this to be over--it didn’t mean ji-ae was ready enough to look at min-ji’s possessions. the box beside her was the only thing left of min-ji in this world and the memory of the fire was still fresh in the doctor’s mind despite it being a while.

she stares at the box for a while, not because she doesn’t want to do her work but because she’s weighing her options. ji-ae wouldn’t be able to keep it for more than a week lest her uncle call her and ask if anything is wrong which ji-ae would answer by crying. if ji-ae would check it now though, she’d surely break down sobbing which is very unprofessional to do in a place of work--

ji-ae blinks as the box she was staring at was replaced by an arm. she quickly looks at the person who did that, her hands already on the box in case the man would take the box away from her.

“oh, i’m sorry--i’m not available to--” ji-ae stops as she hears him say please. now she’s bound by her morals to help the guy out. “all right.” she sighs, taking out a pair of disposable gloves in her drawers and wearing it. “where’s the wound? there better not be a drip of blood on my desk when i’m--” she once again stops when she sees the injury--a burn. a small burn, but nonetheless enough for ji-ae to be reminded of that day “it’s a burn.” she says in a tiny voice in an attempt to hide her shaking voice.

[orbjiae-blog]

“rat on the loose!!! i repeat, a rat with something very very important injected on him is on the loose!!!” the doctor screamed loudly as she ran through the hallways. with how fast she was running, ji-ae half expected a hall monitor to come out of nowhere and reprimand her about how there should be no running in the med bay, but here she was--running after a rat who was probably grinning to himself and clapping his tiny paws in an evil manner for outsmarting her.

ji-ae didn’t even know how the rat got away from his cage! she took him out of the cage for one minute to inspect him, give him a new injection of the new serum she was developing and then she put the darn rat back on the cage which she locked up properly (... did she?) and fell asleep. the next thing she knew, her papers were on the floor, the rat was nowhere to be found inside the cage and the lab door wide open. the rat shouldn’t even be able to run that fast!!! he was injured, a gash on one of his--

wait a minute, if the rat could run this fast then perhaps she succeeded? she was able to regrow the rat’s cells in the shortest amount of time possi--

“oof!!” ji-ae fell down as she bumped into someone. she probably shouldn’t be so deep in her thoughts as she’s running after a rat that could possible help injured soldiers and people but she was too busy counting her eggs in her mind to pay attention properly. she looked up to the person she bumped into and instead of apologizing she says: “have you seen a rat running around here?”

ji-ae’s eyes are on the prize, after all.

[orbjiae-blog]

orbtaeha:

it made no sense as to why taeha saved jiae’s life. the girl was her mother’s most prized possession, not her. maybe this way, her mother will appreciate her more. she saved the person who she wished her daughter was. and maybe this way it’ll be better, she’ll be with her father again, the parent that didn’t despise her as much. 

she felt drowsy, slowly losing consciousness. dropping her hands to her side, but she heard that familiar voice. the voice of the person she just saved. taeha looked up at her, chapped lips parting to speak. “ – no, go – i’ll be, i’ll be –  fine.” she breathes, forcing a smile. the first time she’s ever showed any type of emotion to the other. “i-it’s okay – don’t–” tears falling out of her eyes as she remained smiling. “don’t worry – go, please.” attempting to pull her arm back.

“you’re not fine, even a baby would see that.” she hisses as she grabs on to her arm, not letting go nor letting her grip loosen for even a second. “i took an oath when i became a doctor, and i’m not breaking that so shut up, don’t close your eyes, tell me if you feel cold and let’s just wait for help to come.”

deep down, ji-ae is worried. treating external wounds have never been her strong suit, but she has a duty both as a doctor and to taeha’s mother--the one that reminds her so much of her dead mother--to treat taeha to the best of her ability. sure, she might know that the two never had a good relationship but--ji-ae would never forgive herself if she lets taeha die, would she even be considered a doctor if she can’t save her?