Georgina Analyzes Bray in âOnly a life lived for others is worth livingâ and âAloneâ, the final 2 parts of the 12 part LG15: The Last season finale.
Only a life lived for others is worth living.
âBray. You just had to prove your manly prowess.â
Bray is always trying to prove himself and trying to save Toni was no different. 99% of his intention was to just keep Toni safe and get her back, but there was that little 1% of him that was trying to prove himself to both Toni and The Order, prove his strength and that he was a good guy.
(Mitch kicks Bray backward and stabs Antonia repeatedly. Mitch is being dragged away by another Order member whilst Bray and Order members try to help Antonia. Chas grabs Mitch's sword from the ground and stabs the Order member who is holding her in the foot. Bray continues to try and help Antonia as the order members try to pull him away from her.)
Bray: Get off me!
(Bray manages to grab Antonia's necklace before being dragged away by and Order henchmen. Chasina cuts the rope around Bray's wrists and discards the sword before the two run off.)
Thereâs a million things about these moments that hurts me and plays into my characterization of Bray (and Chas but thatâs a post for another day). Bray has spent weeks on end running from The Order and fighting them, but the minute Antonia is hurt heâs willing to work with them to keep her safe. Heâs willing to let them help her even if theyâre the bad guys, so long as heâs there to make sure sheâs okay. Heâs trying to get away as they drag him off not because he wants to fight (he does, he just knows it isnât the time), but because he wants Toni to be okay more than anything.Â
Getting Toniâs necklace was, to some extent, Bray giving up. He was still ready to fight like hell to try to keep her alive, but he knew he couldnât stay by her side in that moment. He was vastly outnumbered and, as proven by the fact that Mitch had been told to stab Bray and not Toni, they wonât hesitate to kill him. He grabs the necklace because even if he canât be with her he wants something of her to keep close until he sees her again. Of course, though, he doesnât see her again. The last Bray ever sees of her is her bleeding heavily on the ground, and itâs quite clear to everyone that without a hospital within a few minutes she wouldnât survive. The Order wouldnât take her to a hospital to keep themselves safe from being found out, so deep down Bray knew that she wasnât going to make it. He knew as he ran out of that room that Chas was the only one from the group heâd ever see again (aside from Jayde, though he didnât know that The Order had her too). Having Toniâs necklace was one of many ways heâd feel close to her after her death, a proper headcanon on other ways is coming soon.
(They stop outside the Opera House and Bray puts his hand on Chas's shoulder.)
This isnât really anything important to development for either of them I just want to point out that Bray lost someone he loved to death whereas Chas lost someone she loved to betrayal and yet Brayâs keeping himself together to try to comfort Chas. He had only known Toni a month or two, had thought of her as an idiot for a week or so before getting to know her, and Chas had been with Mitch for over a year. He knows sheâs hurting more than he is right now and he wants to make sure sheâs okay. Itâs also to some extent him bottling up his emotions âcause his father always told him that boys donât cry which is Crazy Toxic.
(Bray puts down the camera and starts to scream and kick about in between flashbacks of Antonia in past videos. Bray looks at the camera.)
Bray: Toni I love...
(Brayâs video feed is interrupted by static.)
Oh boy okay lets get started here. Bray canât hold it in anymore, he just lost someone heâd come to love deeply and he hasnât had to deal with that since his mother back when he was five. Even then, he didnât watch what happened to his mother, he didnât feel at fault for his mothers death. At this point he doesnât have confirmation of her death, but we as the audience do and itâs quite clear that heâs assuming sheâs dead. Brayâs father never taught him to deal with emotions and neither did anyone else, so he lets out the sadness and anger and heartbreak in the only way he knows how: violence. Heâs just screaming and kicking the air, itâs all he can think to do in that moment. Guilt and anger are the strongest emotions in those moments. Guilt for the fact that it was meant to be him, and anger at the fact it was her. Anger at Mitch, at The Order and just at the world. Heâs angry that someone so gentle and good was taken so violently from the world.
Now on to the other Big Important Part. This is undoubtedly the first time Brayâs told someone he loves them for as long as he remembers, possibly even the first time since his mom died since he definitely never says it to his dad. His admittance of loving her only ups his feelings of anger and guilt and everything else. Heâs especially upset and angry at himself for not telling her sooner. Or, at all really considering sheâs kind of dead and not gonna be able to watch the video.
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