As days passes...
I miss the little boy so much!!! I've caught myself waking up in the middle of the night in deep REM and looking up and around the room to see where he's at...
To realize...he's not there anymore =(
When you have a routine...it's hard to deal with interruptions.
I'm used to waking up, getting medicine ready for Oreo and feeding him...then getting ready for work. Coming home is even a harder task because he's not sleeping there...the room is empty...no baby Oreo to say hi to, to lay next to when I'm watching TV, or for him to walk all over my laptop when I'm working...
It is such a hard transition. I've had him for over 17 years...so you can imagine that is almost 2/3 of my life with him. I came home regretting making this decision...I wish he passed with a natural cause...just at home...next to his food bowl with a full belly of his favorite food. Unfortunately, he was so weak and had no appetite to do so. I'm such a planner, and I've always put it in the books that he would die a happy little boy. Which I know he was happy...but damn...I wish I had more time with him. But there would never be enough time...
*SIGH*
I miss him. I see his photos...it makes me smile but it makes me miss him so much more.
Hopefully my heart can heal....and realize that he's in a better place. I think as a pet lover...you never know if you ever can provide enough for your pets. I hope I was able to fulfill whatever his little heart desired up until his last days...
Advice to all pet owners...
You do what you can, and you do the best you can. But also take consideration of your own quality of life. I know I am exhausted from this journey...from sleepless nights, stress, worry, sadness, anger, fear...etc...
I told myself to stop at $4000.00 with medical bills...but when you're in too deep...and you see a living, breathing animal...not just pet...but now family member...your heart just says...keep going to keep him alive...
For me...I know that money is an object that can keep coming if I continue to work hard...and not let life stop me in its track. I have passion in everything I do...and money is not something that's going to stop me.
Every amount of dollars and time spent on Oreo...was worth every penny and sweat/labor. People think I was crazy dropping my life for him...but I have no regrets.
Only a pet lover and a mother would ever understand that.










