Oreo...a life of a 17 year old cat

[oreothefighter]

As days passes...

I miss the little boy so much!!!  I've caught myself waking up in the middle of the night in deep REM and looking up and around the room to see where he's at...

To realize...he's not there anymore =(

When you have a routine...it's hard to deal with interruptions.

I'm used to waking up, getting medicine ready for Oreo and feeding him...then getting ready for work.  Coming home is even a harder task because he's not sleeping there...the room is empty...no baby Oreo to say hi to, to lay next to when I'm watching TV, or for him to walk all over my laptop when I'm working...

It is such a hard transition.  I've had him for over 17 years...so you can imagine that is almost 2/3 of my life with him.  I came home regretting making this decision...I wish he passed with a natural cause...just at home...next to his food bowl with a full belly of his favorite food.  Unfortunately, he was so weak and had no appetite to do so.  I'm such a planner, and I've always put it in the books that he would die a happy little boy.  Which I know he was happy...but damn...I wish I had more time with him.  But there would never be enough time...

*SIGH*

I miss him.  I see his photos...it makes me smile but it makes me miss him so much more.

Hopefully my heart can heal....and realize that he's in a better place.  I think as a pet lover...you never know if you ever can provide enough for your pets.  I hope I was able to fulfill whatever his little heart desired up until his last days...

Advice to all pet owners...

You do what you can, and you do the best you can.  But also take consideration of your own quality of life.  I know I am exhausted from this journey...from sleepless nights, stress, worry, sadness, anger, fear...etc...

I told myself to stop at $4000.00 with medical bills...but when you're in too deep...and you see a living, breathing animal...not just pet...but now family member...your heart just says...keep going to keep him alive...

For me...I know that money is an object that can keep coming if I continue to work hard...and not let life stop me in its track.  I have passion in everything I do...and money is not something that's going to stop me.

Every amount of dollars and time spent on Oreo...was worth every penny and sweat/labor.  People think I was crazy dropping my life for him...but I have no regrets.

Only a pet lover and a mother would ever understand that. 

[oreothefighter]

#hospital #tired #lastdaystogether

[oreothefighter]

End of the road...

Oreo has been such a fighter...therefore this tumblr page was dedicated to him

After coming home from VCA all care, we were hoping that the blood transfusion would hold.  Unfortunately, it didn't =(  I guess his body was attacking his own RBC since his cancer is spreading quickly.

His breathing was getting worse throughout the night...he was becoming weaker and weaker as the hours pass.  He couldn't even make it to the water bowl without collapsing on his side to take a breather.  It was such a painful sight.  

I do not believe in euthanasia but at this point, you feel that if you love your cat, you have to help him find peace and be free of pain.  

I wish I had more time...but I had over 17 years with him...what more can I ask for?

He has lived a great life outdoors and indoors.  He has won many hearts to all the people who has met him...especially myself.

I'll definitely miss sleeping with him right in my arms every night, miss him pawing my nose to wake me up to feed him when he's hungry at 6 am, miss him waking me up in the middle of the night to clean his litter box...and especially miss having him around just to stare at you with those sweet eyes of his.

It's hard to come home to an empty room with no Oreo stretched out on the bed knocked out...

As hard as it is for me to accept that he is gone...

I know he was very loved and he is in a better place.

I can sit here and cry all day about it...but I have to really remind myself that it was the right time to let him go...

I wanted to thank everyone, friends, family and staff that has been there for us.  Without you, we wouldn't have the strength to go this long into our journey.  <3

[oreothefighter]

Oreo makes sure he has his paw on me when he's sleeping

[oreothefighter]

I think it's time...

Oreo has been on Epogen for over a month.  And still no improvements on his PCV increasing.  I noticed abnormal breathing, loss of appetite, and the appetite stimulant not working at all now.  I started to syringe him for two days...and he was getting worse.  I didn't make sense because he was getting calories in him, yet he was getting weaker.  His 100 mLs of SQ Fluids started absorbing quicker than normal.  His muscle mass has depleted very quickly.  I don't blame it on the epogen but I did fear that his cancer was getting worse.

Oreo visited the vet...

His PCV dropped and is now at 14%...we had two choices..

1.  Euthanize him

2. Blood transfusion

Since the vet gave us a little hope...we decided to go for #2

Oreo then got transferred to VCA, which is an animal hospital for 24 hour care.  There he was recommended for a blood transfusion.  They also aspirated his liver and spleen, where they then later diagnosed him with mast cell cancer.

Hence why his PCV was not stable, causing the anemia, epogen not to work, medications not to work, etc...

now we are back to option #1...

this is absolutely the hardest decision to make...

a breathing, living animal...a pet...that you bring into your home for 17 years...and now you have to make the decision to end his life.  A powerful decision that no one should ever have to make on their own.

But as a pet owner....

You know when to let go...

A pet gives you a look....

telling you with his eyes...that it's time to finally let go...that you tried all you could to keep him alive. 

I'm very thankful that i got to spend a little bit over two months with him.  It has been a long journey...helping him fight this crazy battle that he never asked for.

That's why I love cats...

they are such strong creatures.

and even to the very end...i'm trying to hold my composure...he can just lay next to me...and put his paw on my wrist...stare at me with his golden eyes and black pupils...telling me that...it was a wonderful life together...but it's now the end...

As you all know....Oreo has been in my life since he was a kitten.  I watched him grow...as he watched me grow...

I wish he was this magical creatures from the movies where a pet is born and matched with their owners, and they survive as long as their owners survive.

He comes in for a recheck tomorrow...

I guess that's when I have another consult with his vet about his goal.

I know the facts...

1. He's very old

2. He's lived a very long and great life

3.  His health is declining

4. The question is...is this inhumane?

5.  He's not eating enough

I know...I understand...

You may think I'm crazy...

But I wish Oreo could just die suddenly in my arms in the middle of the night without me knowing...quick and painless...

For me to pay some stranger to put him on a cold table, poke him with a needle to overdose him to make his heart slow down...

Numb his body...

and pass...

Is definitely...the hardest thing that I may have to go through right now...

I know it's going to be hard to wake up in the middle of the night, and not see him under the blankets with me...or wake up in the middle of night startled because this cat is staring at you...

If you're a cat lover...you definitely know how that would feel...

I know this is the best decision...but the hardest...

Every pet owner will fight until you drop...

Like a parent, you sacrifice everything for you child...

the same goes for pet owners...

I will miss my little boy, Oreo...

[oreothefighter]

Update

Oreo is still on Epogen, every other day.

Epogen is given with a syringe as an injection in between his shoulders.

I've noticed a weird sound when I pet him in that area, as if there's a plastic reynold's wrap under there.

I'm not sure if it's from the Epogen or from his SQ Fluids.

There are some good days and some not so good days with Oreo.

His appetite is slowly decreasing.

Today is the first day that I started assisted feeding him since our very first time taking him home from surgery.

Some forums suggested to feed him 3 oz of food...really?  Is that even enough.

Then there are some sites that says, 275 mLs!  THAT IS  A LOT!  How is that even possible. That means I have to feed him every hour.

Each assisted feeding session, I can get anywhere from 15 mLs to 20 mLs of food.  The rest is on the floor, on Oreo's chest and paws, or on ME!

I've YouTubed some videos about assisted feeding for cats...they make it seem so EASY!

Oreo is a weak but when you try to give him meds and food, he's a fighter.

He is currently 6.5 lbs =(

That number just breaks my heart.

A year ago, he was 12 lbs...slowly, during the beginning of this year, he dropped to 8 lbs...it freaked me out.  4 lbs gone!!!

Sigh...

I have to stay positive...

And hope that he will gain more weight...something...anything!

[oreothefighter]

My little hero

[oreothefighter]

Another medication introduced...Epogen

It's been a few days since my last blog...life has been quite crazy.

His PCV Levels by dates:

02.25.13 - 26.4%

07.03.13 - 23.6%

07.05.13 - 21.3%

07.08.13 - 19.0%

Blood Transfusion 07.08.13

07.08.13 - 23.9%

07.10.13 - 23.6%

07.10.13 - 21.3%

07.11.13 - 21.8%

07.15.13 - 24.5%

07.18.13 - 15.7%

07.20.13 - 21.5%

07.22.13 - 21.6%

As you can see...we are monitoring his PCV level very closely.  We had a huge scare on the 18th where his PCV dropped 10%!  My heart dropped...

He's been very alert.  He's eating more, sleeping, eating...and slowly being a cat again.

It's a miracle to even have him alive for 20 days after surgery.  I was suppose to make a decision on Monday, July 8th, 2013 to put him to sleep.  I received phone calls from the Vet, making sure we spent time with him, and do not exceed 72 hours without euthanizing or it would be considered inhumane.

We are very fortunate to have our regular vet spend so much time on Oreo's case to revive him again.  

Our goal is keep him stable.

Yes, we all know he's an old cat, in human years, he's over 100 years old.  I get that.  But if your clinic didn't perform this surgery and use the correct method...I think our outcome would have been totally DIFFERENT!

As angry as I am...I can't do anything.  I can only sit back and watch Oreo as a science experiment as trial and error.  I really think our vet or someone is going to write a thesis from this case.

So our vet called other specialists, and they suggested a game plan for Oreo to be on Epogen, 0.18 mL every other day. 

Have you guys read the longggggg list of side effects...death being one of them! 

Now do you take the risk of not doing anything...and let nature takes its course...

Or do you use a medication that might work...

And hope that he doesn't fall in the 30% (Which is SOOOO freaked high to me) chances that he will get a side effect.

30% is just way to risky...

So I can only hope for the best...70% is where Oreo belongs...I pray and cross my fingers...

It's only in my nature as a science major student to research and ask hypothetic questions to our vet...but apparently he doesn't understand why I am so concerned...

Well...if death and seizures are one of the side effects...who the hell wouldn't be worried?

Yes, sometimes I may sound like a total b*tch...but I am only protecting my pet who has already gone through so much because of an "oops" and wrong call that their surgeon has made.

If I was a typical crazy mom...they're lucky I'm not...because I know most pet owners would raise hell already!

So I'll keep my calm...until now...

My energy is for research, prayer, positive energy and motivation for Oreo to be back to normal.

Also...

Through this journey...

We've gotten a chance to meet a lot of nice pet owners. 

I've exchanged phone numbers with them, and they actually give great advices.  

Today, Lynne went out of her way to call her friends regarding Oreo for advice.

She called back and suggested to feed Oreo organic chicken liver...raw that is!  I've never given Oreo anything raw...because I would never eat liver raw...ew...

But we went to Whole Foods...and there it was...I only asked for two... $0.60.

I chopped it up.  and guess what...he ate it and LOVED it.  I really don't know how much to give him because every forum out there says "just give him a little bit"...I would like to know...what is a little bit.  So I gave him half a teaspoon.  

*Crossing fingers* I hope that his PCV will raise to the sky in the 30's at least!

[oreothefighter]

Sunbathing during our car ride. He's not your typical cat!

[oreothefighter]

Oreo is such a well behaved cat.  I can't even describe all the crazy things he does. For example....I was walking around petsmart with him with out a leash.  People were staring!  Until I got in trouble by the staff that they don't allow pets without leashes....so then I left him in the cart.  It was like pushing a baby in the shopping cart. People were still surprised to see a cat so well behaved. Most cats would be running around  loose but Oreo....he was just chilling and enjoying the ride.  Too cute!

I also had the pleasure of meeting a sweet older couple named Pat and Tom from Garden Grove. They were asking about Oreo's battle scar. We chatted for 15-20 minutes about her experiences with cats and renal failure.  I think you learn more through people who own cats for Yeats vs. From your own vet.

I've been very fortunate to have met all those sweet people who stop their busy lives to ask about Oreo

[oreothefighter]

High five Oreo!!!! His PCV levels increased yo 25%!!!! The vet and us were very surprised! Don't give up..  Cats are so strong.  Cheer them on and they will feel motivated to fight thru all of this!  Love you Oreo!

[oreothefighter]

Deep sleep after a long day at the vet's office

[oreothefighter]

Congratulations Mary and Hung!

[oreothefighter]

Grub Time!

The appetite stimulant is working...he actually ate half a Fancy Feast can within an hour.  That's HUGE progress.

Strange behavior: He's hiding in his litter box =(

[oreothefighter]

Nap time

[oreothefighter]

His paw is a little swollen from his catheter

[oreothefighter]

Got him to walk a little today. He's tired now. He hasn't purred for three days. I'm not sure what that means because when he was worse...he would purr. :(