Thick Thighs And Whiskey Eyes

Just you average bisexual archaeologist, trying to figure out this whole life thing. 24 from California, just here for a laugh.

[goth-queen]

[goth-queen]

[kuttithevangu]

The thing about the moon is maybe you don’t need to write a poem about the moon. The moon’s been done, we’ve discussed it. It’s a coin a mirror an eye a lantern in the darkness. It’s a rock in space. It’s the dang moon we’ve all seen it! Is there something you can notice that’s is more surprising than the moon???

[creekfiend]

[undeadgf]

do not ask me if im the loyal type i will attach myself to u like an evil entity

[oncce-againn]

My alone time is for everyone’s safety

[eleutheria4ever]

“source?” divine intuition, gut instinct, and cryptic symbolism from my dreams

[punkrock-bottom]

Guys I’m starting to think this darkness festering within me is maybe not a sex thing

[queermania]

if i’m ever brutally murdered and everyone feels like they need to do something productive in my memory, all i want is for you to pass legislation banning LED headlights in my name. regardless of how irrelevant it is to my murder. it’s relevant to my heart.

[crisismoth]

sometimes i be saying im gonna go to bed and then i dont go to bed. frequently in fact. this is because i have the heart of an optimist and the soul of a liar

[bluberimufim]

I love that opera sits in this limbo where it's extremely well-known but not really beyond a surface level recognition, so you get commercials for makeup or whatever to the tune of the I Hate Women So Much It's Unreal aria

[forthegothicheroine]

#in the first bridgerton book daphne describes her crush feelings as if her heart is playing the queen of the night aria from the magic flute#which i can totally see if you have never found out what the words mean. very high and fluttery.#but the lyrics are along the lines of THE VENGEANCE OF HELL BOILS IN MY HEART. IF YOU DON'T MURDER THAT MAN I WILL DISOWN YOU.#and i laughed so hard i had to put the book down

via @tophatandboots

[jackironsides]

oh my god??

@lymeandcoconut

#lmaooooo #my fave is that episode of white collar where neil is doing a theft #and the music they play over it is leporello's 'here's the list of all the hundreds of women my boss has fucked' aria from don giovanni #it's supposed to just sound grand and sophisticated but the guy is singing about how DG fucks tall women short women #fat women skinny women princesses and peasants he fucks them all! #and here's the numbers broken down by nationality! #he's fucked over 1000 women in spain you know!

#oh and he's singing all this to a former conquest who tracked DG down because he promised to marry her then ditched her #anyway it's a lot

[notformywings]

[shelteringyourdna-deactivated20]

well look who it is. my old friend. the conses of my quences.

[shelteringyourdna-deactivated20]

do not 10k me stop that

[ebonyheartnet]

*clicks reblog* your old friend, the conses of your quences, sends their regards

[charmwasjess]

Having someone ask ChatGPT in a meeting is like being a grown-ass professional adult in a room full of other grown-ass professional adults trying to solve a problem, while a colleague with one of those baby toys that makes animal sounds repeatedly presses the cow button. And we all have to stop what we're doing and listen to cow go moo and say "wow hm yeah that's not really what we're asking but the cow does definitely go moo, good thoughts"

[baddywronglegs]

Except increasingly the cow is being treated as a respected contributor to meetings as we pivot to a moo-centric business model that principally produces bullshit

[sparrowposting]

"if you worry, you suffer twice"

Brother, I am inventing new types of worry and ways to suffer thrice. Perhaps even FOUR times.

[pulsingvoid]

i can't do this anymore guys. dostoevsky never wrote this. please. can anyone hear me. if you do proper research the earliest version of this quote is from like a 2010 facebook quote with a magenta flower on it. it's gotten so bad that it's even credited to him on goodreads but nobody can source where he wrote it because he fucking didn't. i can't keep seeing this in your web weaves. dostoevsky the author of crime and punishment did not in fact write "you were destined for me. perhaps as a punishment". that is just simply not true. please nod and tell me you understand

[foggyeyes]

"this quote was attributed to me. perhaps as a punishment." -dostoevsky

[pulsingvoid]

@woolfmalice

[iguanamarina]

[snakeater-deactivated20260130]

yeah i couldn’t be trusted with a penis id get hard from the way the sun shines through the leaves and everyone would hate me

[skywarpie]

This is the funniest fucking thing I've seen