Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her
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@orixnmaximoff-blog
“one of these days you wont get hurt and it’ll be a miracle, but i’ll deal with him. alright?”
“Noah, I’m okay with getting hurt, really. I’m just gonna-- sit down for a while and I’ll be fine. It’s really not that big of a deal, just leave the guy alone.”
“….someone beat you up? Oh gosh, do you need to go to the hospital?”
“Hey, no, it’s fine. Last thing I need right now is a trip to the hospital. I’m fine.”
“i don’t want you to get hurt and i may as well teach people who hurt you a lesson. if you just tell me who did it, i can make sure they are at least in as much pain as you are.”
“---Some guy named Aaron, don’t know his last name. He’s got this bright purple coat that just.. doesn’t look good. I see him in that small supermarket right around the corner often. Happy?”
   “uh - normally that’d be okay if it was for a checkup or something but you could be really hurt.” cleo shoots back in a kind enough voice. she’s just worried, and she doesn’t do worried too well. “are you sure? it helps to take the edge off of stuff like that.”
“I just really don’t want to go. If I get any worse, I’ll consider it, but I don’t want to go to the doctor’s now--” he just shrugged. “Yeah, I’m sure. It’s fine, don’t worry, sweetheart.”
“You’d think he would just thank you and go get some eggs. He will be regretting that tomorrow when he wants some omelettes and has none. Sorry, man. Are you hurt?”Â
“That’s enough payback for me, really, him not getting to make his omelettes. My ribs hurt and breathing’s kinda painful, but other than that, I’m fine.”
“Jesus, can any of you kids go a day without being beat up? We should start putting you in plastic bubbles like giant hamsters. Have you actually been to see a medical professional?”
“I would like a plastic bubble, that would be really cool, actually. And no, but it’s not that bad, so I’ll be fine without seeing a doctor.”
“te-technically, but it ta-taste better than other p-pain meds.”
“It really does taste better.”
orionmaximoff:
“Okay, so, apparently people will beat you up nowadays if you read their mind and try to help them out with their groceries. Breathing is rather painful right now, so I’m gonna stop talking–”
“Were those two different incidents or the same one? Full of assholes around, man. Next time just let them and their groceries be.”
"It was all the same person. It was really odd, though. I told him he had forgotten to buy eggs, he asked how I knew he needed eggs, so I said I just had a feeling he needed them. Then he asked if I was stalking him and if I was gay, which was just really odd because this whole thing was just about eggs. Then I told him I read it in his mind and he freaked out and beat me up."
“ you mean a great idea !! “
“Esti, no. We’re not going to hurt anyone.”
“ please tell me i can kill a human now. lets just have a mass genocide and get rid of them all !! “
“No, we’re not doing that, that’s a horrible idea.”
“this is the second time this month i’ve seen you hurt, and while i can’t exactly beat anyone up for the first time, this time i can. tell me who hurt you. there is nothing to get, you were being helpful. you read minds, it’s your thing, they can’t beat you up for that,”
“I get hurt a lot. It’s a constant factor in my life, I’ve accepted that. And yes, it’s my thing, but it’s not a thing I should bother other people with, because they can and will kick the shit out of me. You don’t have to beat up people for me, really.”
   “what’s with guys and doctors?” it’s not really a question for him - she says it under her breath and mostly to herself. “fine - - but you should probably lay down or something instead. do you want any advil? i have a bottle.”
“I just-- don’t like doctors, okay?” he mutters, having heard the question, and answering it like she had asked it-- the other didn’t necessarily have to hear it. “Fine, I’ll lie down. And I’m okay, really, I don’t need it. Thanks, though.”
   “then maybe you should let an actual doctor decide if it’s that bad or not.”
“I’m not visiting a doctor until it becomes absolutely necessary. And that probably won’t even happen.”
“d-do you need me to get you an-anything? i-i have c-calpol?”
“I don’t need it, I’m fine. Don’t worry, I bet the pain will be gone tomorrow. And-- isn’t calpol for kids?”
“what the fuck? ho the hell did this because i promise you they will be a lot worse off than you are right now once i’m done”
“Right, so that’s why I won’t be telling you who they are-- Anyway, it’s okay, I get why they’d be pissed at me for that.”
   “have you ever heard the saying better safe than sorry?”
“I have heard of that one, actually. It’s really not that bad, though.”
   “if breathing hurts it might be something wrong with your ribs. have you seen anyone who actually knows what they’re doing? like a doctor?”
“No, it’s not that bad, I’m sure. If it still hurts this much tomorrow, I’ll go see a doctor, but I’m not too worried. Just in pain.”
