orlando

• innocence died screaming honey, ask me, i should know •

[orlandoswords]

she loves beautifully

she’s warm and kind

she is may

she is sunshine

she’s a breath of fresh air

the house i was burning alive in

it no longer exists

i can breathe

i am loved

i am free

[poetry-siir]

[thoughtkick]

“I used to dislike being sensitive. I thought it made me weak. But take away that single trait, and you take away the very essence of who I am. You take away my conscience, my ability to empathize, my intuition, my creativity, my deep appreciation for the little things, my vivid inner life, my deep awareness of others’ pain, and my passion for it all.”

— Unknown

[orlandoswords]

tear covered cheeks

accompanied by cries for mercy

she hears them and says,

“haven’t you heard?

honey, mercy was never your friend.

virtue is gone and innocence is dead.”

“they’ll never know.”

and with bloody hands

she covered the mirrors in her home

afraid of what her reflection holds

shame and guilt and selfish intent

she buried a soul out of hatred for her own

[orlandoswords]

your love is a violent drunk

sober in the morning

but helplessly clutching a bottle

from the night before

[orlandoswords]

who is it you really hate?

another good man gone to waste

how many lives has your love taken

be honest

how many times have you run away

just to avoid facing your mistakes

take your finger out of my face

and don’t you dare forget that before you

i wasn’t this way

be honest

who’s really to blame

is it me

or the monster you made

maybe what you really hate

is that you only love in vain

maybe it’s that you only take

and that you don’t care who you break

maybe it’s because you know the truth

being that it’s all fake

and if anyone really knew who you were

you know what they would say

because you know what they would see

a wounded little girl

who lacks love and knows no empathy

they’d see someone with no self control

someone who only causes pain

an empty soul who does everything

in her fragile ego’s name

so tell me again

who is it you really hate?

[heavyrain-dc]

“Today I forgive myself. Not just once. Again, and again, and again. As many times as it takes to find peace.”

— Unknown

[orlandoswords]

if you’ve ever loved a narcissist, this is for you

yes, my pain became anger

portrayed as numbness’ rage

because who can stand your selfish soul

scraping against the skin

with it’s dull and rusted blade

i am not the first

to fall victim to your ruthless game

nor will i be the last

because you never change

you only replace

“this time will be different” you say

only to still gaslight, lie, blame, manipulate

chaos is all your “love” creates

go ahead

convince the world your new love is great

but your new victim

just hasn’t seen through your fake

you are a parasite

taking love and taking life

you find good and kill it

you hate it because it’s nothing like you

you have no faith

the shame that you wear as chains

is all that guides your way

you leave casualties

like the clouds leave rain

if only i could have seen your soul

instead of your face

if only i had known that your body

is your only grace

i’d have run miles and miles away

you tell your friends i changed

that i was unstable

that i was deranged

tell them i was insecure and paranoid

tell them all about my reactions

to your abuse

and avoid telling them everything you’d do

go ahead, paint yourself as the victim

but don’t ever say you had good intentions

because you’d have put a rope

around my neck; pushed me over the edge

and watched me choke to death

if you had to choose between me

or cheap validation

and more money on your paycheck

everything i had, i gave

and you gladly kept it

but what am i left with?

this knife in my chest

cuts on skin

poison on my lips

that’s it

you create messes

and leave so you don’t have to clean it

you cut me

but became upset that i was bleeding

then you poured bleach on my skin

and said i was insane for screaming

these people aren’t like you and i

they lie with dead eyes

they can tell you they love you

and sleep with others at the same time

there is no remorse or regret in their kind

no conscience in their mind

they break you down within an inch of your life

just to watch you lose your mind

and leave you there at your lowest

but only after they’ve found their new supply

whom they cannot love but can only idolize

as much as it hurts to admit it

this is what happens

when you love a narcissist

[redrola]

[theoptia]

Marguerite Duras, from The Lover

Text ID: Very early in my life it was too late.

[deviika]

Fernando Pessoa // Michel Foucault

[starlightacademia]

"There are times when my longing for you overwhelms me [...] so often I can think of you only with teeth clenched."

— Franz Kafka, from Letters to Felice

[orlandoswords]

{7/7/22}

on days like this

when my mind

no longer serves me

all i see is red

[shisasan]

𝙹𝚞𝚕𝚢 𝟼, 𝟷𝟿𝟷𝟿 𝚃𝚑𝚎 𝙳𝚒𝚊𝚛𝚒𝚎𝚜 𝙾𝚏 𝙵𝚛𝚊𝚗𝚣 𝙺𝚊𝚏𝚔𝚊, 𝟷𝟿𝟷𝟺-𝟷𝟿𝟸𝟹 [ID: July 6. Too much said. END ID]

[sapphopilled]

Work Song by Hozier / Mahmoud Darwish

[metamorphesque]

— Franz Kafka, Letters to Milena

[text ID: I wish the world were ending tomorrow. Then I could take the next train, arrive at your doorstep in Vienna, and say, 'Come with me, Milena. We are going to love each other without scruples or fears or restraint because the world is ending tomorrow.' ]

[deviika]

Jamie Varon