Believing in Yourself Made Easy

BYME is a place where you can stop and think about how you want the world to end.

[osakaslugger]

twitter might be dying

I feel like I'm driving down a long road, and every time a new gas station comes up I think this is going to be the one. They'll have vanilla coke, deep fried burritos, and maybe even a lunchable for the road. But I'm always let down. Just normal coke, and suspicious looking hot dogs.

When I leave I wonder why I don't just drive directly into a tree. The next one won't be different, and I know that. I keep going regardless.

This car represents something about me that I'm not sure I'm narcissistic enough to get into. Maybe my hubris, or just youthful stupidity. The moment I got a salaried job I went to the dealership and put it all down on a sports car. I ignored all of the advice I had gotten, which includes the research I did myself the week before. They said I would be paying it off for five years, and that the insurance would be killer. It never occurred to me that I could lose my job. Maybe it's more accurate to say it never occurred to me that I wouldn't just end things if that happened.

I didn't stop taking my medication on purpose. The last time I went to get it the door to the mailroom was locked and my key didn't work. I don't like going during the day because I don't want to have to interact with anyone, so I didn't have any other way of getting in. I messages the property manager and they assured me the lock hadn't changed. I keep thinking about going down to the mailroom and being locked out again. I keep thinking about how I have to clean up before thankgiving when I see my family. I keep thinking about hemmingway, hunter s thompson, kurt cobain. Not because I'm famous or deserve some spectacle of a public suicide, but because they made it seem cool to me.

I'm so fucking mean to people. I'm uncomfortable with the idea that I've accepted that. The truth I ran from for so long is that niceness disgusts me. It certainly wasn't always this way. I thought it was years of customer service work that caused this, and that's certainly a possibility. Lately, though, the more I think about it I believe it's just because all of the worst people in the world insist on being nice all the time. All of the sanitized language, sunday church ensemble, pearly white smiles, and the least of which is actual literal nazis who have the privilege of existing in our world simply because they know how to be nice to the right white people. I don't even want to talk about this. It feels like a bland take. Azov is being rehabilitated by the media. If I so much as coughed towards a politician I'd probably be shot dead in the street, and the cop who did it would get a medal.

Anyway, I hope twitter doesn't actually die I really hated tumblr lmao.

[fuckyeahcomicsbaby]

Santa’s Presents

[princess-gheya]

Oh my GODD

[prestonhymas]

delete this

[barkymalarky]

for the first day of inktober, I had to illustrate my favorite text post

[osakaslugger]

[yame-sama]

This is super important

[weareallfatbats-deactivated2018]

I told you people newer anime just doesn’t hold up to the classics

[ariaofsasha]

[ilovepeppers-deactivated2019122]

[sumetal]

petnames to call your significant other

genuine wrestle boy

skin boy

handsome boy

greasy boy

good ladder boy

face boy

extra boy

box boy

dirty boy

fun-having, fun-looking dirty boy

a really rowdy boy

a rowdy, dirty boy

a true rowdy boy

garbageboy stinkman

regular boy

real boy

normal boy

beautiful baby boy

good boy

perfect boy

special boy

sweet boy

beautiful boy

nervous little punk boy

creamfaced business boy

soft boy

silly boy

big boy

little boy

big ol boy

benjamin button baseball boy

crossbow boy

perfect sword boy

space-faring kiss boy

orignal pizza boy

very bad boy

very strong boy

thick boy

burger boy

boy hat

toss boy

half boy

[sumetal]

finally my post has come full circle

[osakaslugger]

Knife School

***This was a 3 word prompt writing exercise. The words were education, knife, and phone.***

"No, not like that," said the man on the phone. "Hold it with the blade upright, like you're chopping vegetables."

The girl look down to see she was holding the knife Psycho-style. She flipped it around clumsily but managed not to hurt herself.

"Hold it out in front of you with your arm slightly bent." He gave her a moment to adjust her position. "Now, practice jabbing the knife outward. Make sure you're using your whole upper body and not just your elbow. Also be sure your elbow doesn't lock, either.

The girl did as he said, stabbing at the air until she started to feel lactic acid building up in her inner arm.

"Then pull the knife downward and towards yourself in a slashing motion. Make sure the blade is always facing forward. Only go for the spots I showed you, okay? You don't want the blade to get stuck or you hurt yourself."

She nodded, but then realized the man on the other end wouldn't be able to see that. She opened her mouth to speak, but he started speaking first.

"Do you think you can handle it? Do you have any questions."

The girl pondered for a moment. She felt more confident than she had in years as she stood in front of the door of her single bedroom apartment. A thousand nights of terror behind her. Tonight would be different. She thanked the man.

"No problem. Welcome to the first day of your new life!" he said, before hanging up.

Before she could even put the phone down, she heard the door unlock. It creaked open accompanied by a subtle cacophony of buzzing insects, drunk murmuring, and sirens in the distance. A stumbling shadow crept through the doorway, but the glare of a street light banging against the steel knife betrayed the creature. Just a man. Flesh and blood.

Tonight would be different.

[porpentine-deactivated20201218]

Finally: Somebody Built an Adventure Game Using Google Forms

All Your Time-Tossed Selves by prolific interactive fiction designer Porpentine is a short, elegaic adventure game built in the Google Forms survey creator.

[osakaslugger]

[osakaslugger]

[osakaslugger]

[osakaslugger]

Stop Trying to Kill Me

You owe it to me To not stab me when you see me on the street I deserve this much So don't poison my dinner and lunch

[osakaslugger]

Mecharomantic

I don't do what I want I only do what I'm told I am a robot I've got a robotic soul

I open cans with my robotic hands I kidnap cats in my robotic sack Stab a guy with my robotic knife

Excuse my antics I'm a Mecharomantic

[osakaslugger]

Hungry

I got hungry so I ate the world But the fat guy never gets the girl So I tried to lose all of the weight I gained Though I knew I would get fat again Because the world was so delicious And its taste was so addictive that I started eating other planets If I could reach it, I'd attack it Nothing beats the first time, though That familiar planet we both know When I chewed it made my gums bleed I spit bits of it out when I brushed my teeth I still hear their screams but could never tell Was it joy, or agony, or something else I remember the valleys tasted like peace And the cities had a just hint of disease I tasted racism, biggotry, violence and hate But some love as a side dish, with a dash of cruel fate The south blamed the north and the north blamed the south I did the world a favor when I shoved it in my mouth You should have blamed hunger instead, I said Since this wouldn't have happened if I were well fed

[osakaslugger]

There is Nothing to fear

There is Nothing to fear No, there's Nothing to fear Drive the darkness aside And the path remains clear

For your mortal decay Lies a lifetime away There is Nothing to fear There is Nothing to fear