Psycho Killer

“I have hated words and I have loved them, and I hope I have made them right.” Call me Oswin and show me the stars! tracking duchessdiaries & oswinrps. Writing blog for duchessdiaries. Selective multi-muse, multi-verse and multi-ship indie roleplayer. rules . roster

[oswinrps]

c'est fini pour tout les jour. adios!

[oswinrps]

tessa & ava

     Tessa had expected to feel some sort of jealousy that another person got to spend time with her brother while she was alone at home, absolutely miserable. It would have been stupid, of course, considering they had been at war – and to her surprise, there was no jealousy. Only relief, and happiness. She was glad her brother hadn’t been alone over there, that two people had managed to find strength in each other and build a friendship among all the awful things that were surely going on right on the battlefield. It was hard to imagine for someone like Tessa, who had always been stuck in her little home town, but her imagination wasn’t shy when it came to thinking up the most awful scenarios that could happen over there. “I’m happy that he had you, then. And that you had him.” And she was grateful that Ava had patched him up – now all she could do was hope that nothing had happened to him since this woman last saw him.

        Maybe now that Ava had returned, Silas would soon as well. In exchange for getting her brother back, honorable discharge didn’t sound like such a bad thing, compared to dying on the battlefield. But again, she couldn’t make assumptions on situations she hadn’t been in, and would never be able to understand. “It must be hard to return to the normal world after being there,” she said quietly, her voice gentle, and the smile on her lips kind. “Do you have family to return to? Or anyone else?” So maybe, just maybe, a part of Tessa was using that question to figure out if Ava had a husband, children, some sort of family. It would be easier to rip the bandaid off now, before she started getting the idea into her head that maybe this woman could also like women, that it was the reason why Silas wanted them to meet. But even if Ava didn’t have a husband, what would she do? Just straight out ask her? Surely not. It was her best kept secret. Silas was the only one who ever found out about it, and not even by her actively telling him. He just knew, apparently. 

          That was why he had been her best friend, and her shoulder to lean on. And now he was out there, and Ava’s words just made her think that maybe her worst nightmares still weren’t bad enough. She would probably have nightmares again the next time she fell asleep. “Of course.” A sigh escaped her lips, and she momentarily looked up into the sky, as if there was an answer there. “It’s probably better you don’t tell me.” A way of stalling for a real answer, another sigh, then she admitted: “It’s hard for me. He was the only person I could ever truly be myself with. Without him, I’m just… lost. I feel awful, all the time. I sometimes wish I could just hide from the rest of the world.” Then she realized she was rambling, and Tessa brought her hand up to brush it through her hair, shaking her head. “I’m sorry. That must sound very privileged considering what you’ve been through.”

Ava offered a small grin, her appreciation. She often heard about how people were glad for her services, but none of them sounded as genuine as Tessa. “I’m glad I got to know him──” in the worst of circumstances, Silas never seemed to fail her. It was probably because of the woman in front of her. She was probably the reason why he was always willing to lift up Ava, maybe like he did every day with Tessa.

That was an understatement. Sometimes, Ava wasn’t sure if she was back. The night terrors seemed to haunt her, and the nightmares seemed to follow through the living. A branch cracking, a loud bird, a car honking ─ sometimes it stateled her just like the sound of the machine gun. Sometimes she walked through the town, intact and colorful, and she saw were corpses and terror. Ava was reluctant to say she was really back, but she was alive and safe once again, which was more than some of her colleagues could say. “Tell me about it,” she murmured, deciding not to go further on that topic. Tessa seemed sweet and worried, and she didn’t want to taint her. “Just my parents──” they wanted her to marry, but she couldn’t tell them that she wouldn’t be able to fulfill their wishes. She wouldn’t have a suburban house and a soldier husband, neither would she have a pair of children. “I’m not really interested in getting married,” to a man. Ava couldn’t say that out loud, but thinking was freeing. What else she could do? Tell her most kept secret to the woman she just met? Even if she trusted Silas with her life (sometimes, quite literally), she just....wasn’t ready.

“It’s fine──” she smiled. She didn’t really remembered when one reaction made her smile that genuinely. It was rare these days to get her to smile or laugh, but for some reason she appreciated just how mundane that problem seemed. Yes, her brother was at war, and it wasn’t everyone who had someone they loved at risk in that goddam fight, but a large portion. And the rest... The rest really reasonated with her. Who wouldn’t want to run away and just hide from the world? She knew she would. If she could, she would go to the same place as Tessa and she would embrace her whole, saying that she understood. if her displacement within society was for the same reason as Ava’s, God, how she understood. And if it wasn’t, they shared a similar feeling of hiding out behind a mask. And now Ava felt like she had two of them, every time, they were getting heavier. “Sometimes I miss the feeling of being just a girl── who happened to be at war. Now, that’s all I am.” She wasn’t ashamed of being a soldier and serving her country, she didn’t regret for a minute, but she missed the feeling of being almost normal, because that was the closest she ever was from it. “Tell me something about you that happened while──” she didn’t have to complete the sentence for Tessa understand.

[oswinrps]

silas & thalia

                      The world stood still.

     At least that was what it felt like for a moment. Silas was frozen into place, encaged in his body, unable to speak or move or even just breathe. His lungs were bursting with the need for oxygen. But all he could really do in that moment was stare at Thalia. Because how many times had he dreamt of this? Of finally seeing her again? Of being close enough to possibly wrap her up in his arms? But immediately, his brain went to the thought that she was married now, probably more in love with this other man than she ever had been with him.

      And – oh. He only then noticed the stroller she had been pushing, and his throat felt dry. Impossibly dry. Had he not been so shocked by the entire moment, he might have just started to cry in that moment. Because that was his life. All of that was supposed to be his. Thalia, as his wife, and their child in a stroller. But life had different plans for them, it seemed. Apparently fate didn’t think they were meant to be together, unlike Silas, who never doubted they were supposed to grow old together. That they were two halves of a coin. Two missing puzzle pieces, fitting perfectly together.

       His knees felt weak, and he was sure they might give in underneath him any moment now. But then the former soldier reminded himself that he couldn’t be weak, not now, not here. He had to be strong, he couldn’t show her just how hurt he was that she had moved on, when he reassured her in so many letters that he wanted her to live her life no matter what. He always wanted her to be happy, didn’t he?

                      And then, the world started turning again.

         Suddenly, Silas was hyperaware of everything, the people walking by, the noises of a busy street – but most importantly, her. Always her.

           “Hi.” The word was spoken tentatively, slowly, only a syllable but it already felt as if he had used up all his energy for it. What was he supposed to say? What was appropriate to say in such a situation? Why was there no one there to help him find the right words? He didn’t know, and he was panicking while he tried to answer as quickly as possible.

                  “You look well.”

She approached him carefully, as if, at any harsh movement, he could disappear. She had seen him in so many places that it looked like just another illusion. For a while, her parents forbid her from going out, too scared of what she could to herself, or that she was going crazy. Her hand reached for his arm, expecting that he would slip through her fingers, like water or clay. As if someone had molded him to trick her, make her believe that he was real. Thalia wasn’t ready for anything solid to materialize while her fingers wrapped around his arm. Flesh and blood, pumping through the veins, she could feel it.

And as slow as she did the first movements, her reflexes kicked in fast, afraid he would turn into smoke. 

Hi. 

That was what she deserved after four years. 

Hi. 

The word sounded like an echo, but she wouldn’t let it bring her down. “I told you that you couldn’t die──” she whined, hitting his shoulder, while the tears ran freely on her face. She didn’t care if she looked horrible and a mess, her nose started dripping and she couldn’t see much ahead because it was all blurry by her tears. She wrapped her arms around his neck, her fingers running through his hair and her face was buried in his neck. It didn’t really matter that she was a married woman now, hanging on the arms of another man. Her husband always knew that he had been the second best. Nothing else matter, because Silas had come back from the dead.

She knew that he wouldn’t feel the same after war, but, suddenly, she felt home again.

“God──” she whispered close to his ear. How many times had she imagined that moment? Nothing had been like she expected, but she was still glad. “I missed you. I missed you so much.” She had her face pressed on his. She didn’t need to see him anymore, she just wanted his hug again, too scared she would still lose it.

Sylvia, from her stroller, felt the shift in the environment and started to whine, pulling for the first time her attention from Silas to her daughter. She let go off him, dragging her hands through his arms to make her touch linger as long as possible, before she bent over and picked up her daughter. “This── is Sylvia.” Thalia didn’t know if Silas would understand the meaning that the name carried for her, but she hoped he would. She had never let go of them, of their life together. Somewhere in her mind, she lived that fantasy. Life had been cruel to take him from her, threw her to another men for sheer helplessness that he was gone, and she was alone. But at least she could share life with Sylvia. “She’s my daughter,” there was no doubt of that. The girl shared the same big curious eyes and the little hair she had was light, just as hers as a baby. “Si──” she turned to her daughter who wrapped her fingers around her index, “this is the best man that I know.” And he was ─ he still was and would always be the best man she knew, not that her daughter could understand what caused that commotion.

[oswinrps]

requicmswrites​:

( THALIA & SILAS )‌:

My dearest Silas,

This distance has been tearing me in pieces.

From my side, it feels like it has been ages since I last heard from you. I miss you so much that it hurts. There are days that I don’t feel like leaving the bed and yet I try to persevere everyday, for you, because it is not fair that only one of us get a chance of living normally. 

As if I could ever have normal without you.

I can only imagine all the harsh things that you’ve seen and wish I could shelter you from it all, but I can’t. I can barely grasp everything that you’ve lived out there, but Si, there is also a lot of good. There’s your family, your friends, milkshakes and fries, and there is me. There’s love and laughter, and hugs when you come back home. Don’t let this break you into believing there’s only awful things around. There is also a lot of happiness and joy ─ when you are here.

I am counting the days for this war to be over and, as I said, I will waiting for you on the shore, always.

Tessa── Tessa misses you. She doesn’t say it, of course, but I can see it. I try to be stronger for the both of us, but I’m not sure how long I can last. I swear to God, though, she needs a better distraction than me…

Don’t start with nonsense, Silas!

You are my great life, Si. You are the best thing that ever happened to me and, without you, my life is dull. I feel like I’ve never had the chance to tell you so, Si. I regret that I didn’t tell you in our last conversation, but I don’t want to wait until you are back anymore. 

I’ve been undeniably in love with you, Silas, for years now. 

This is probably not the best way to declare my feelings and I wish I could see your reaction, but I don’t want to have secrets from you anymore.

There aren’t enough paper to write all the things that I’d like to say, nor would I be able to send a letter as heavier as my heart, so I will let it be for now. I will write you again soon.

Always yours,

Thalia.

 _______________________________________________________________

Dearest Silas,

Maybe I scared you away, throwing how I felt out of the blue, maybe my letters aren’t reaching you, maybe you just didn’t have time to write to me, maybe── I don’t want to think about all possibilities, because not all of them are good.

I just hope this letter reaches you. I just hope you know how much I miss you. I just hope you know how much I love you.

It’s been a while now ─ 362 days and counting ─ and yet you are not back. I can’t bear with the idea of you not being back, Si. I can’t bear without knowing how are you everyday and not having you here. You are the very first thing I think when I wake up and the last thing on my mind before I drift asleep. You are the reason I smile when others think there is no reason.

I don’t want to be the smart girl, I don’t want to challenge my parents and change my generation if you are not here ─ I just don’t have the strength to fight it. And I know how stupid it sounds, I can here you saying that I don’t need anyone, but I want you.

Just come home safe, okay? I am still waiting for you, everyday, by the shore.

Always yours,

Thalia.

Dear Thalia,

It has been so long since I last heard from you.

I don’t know if my letters don’t reach you or vice versa. Or maybe you have moved on from me – that would be the best case scenario here, because I want nothing more than you. Every day out here, my mind gets darker. Every day out here, I feel less like myself. I miss you. I miss feeling your arms around me. I miss hearing your laugh. I miss everything about you, and everything about us.

I want us to have a future, together. Have I ever told you that? I don’t think so, because I’m too much of an idiot to tell you anything of importance. Looking back now, I want nothing more than to appreciate the time with you more. Why did I waste so many hours? I don’t know.

All I know is that I hope you’re happy. That Tessa is happy. That everyone I left behind is happier than I am right here.

Sometimes I dream of home and my favorite foods, and I don’t remember what they taste like anymore. Sometimes I try to remember the sound of your voice, and I can’t. Is this what it’s going to be like?

Losing piece after piece of myself, until I can’t remember anything that I want to anymore. Thalia, I wish you could be my hero. I wish you could come and safe me from this. I wish we could run away and be happy together.

But right now I’m so far away from you, and it physically pains me. I miss you endlessly. 

Forever yours, Silas

_________________________________________________________________________________

Thalia,

I can’t write much. I don’t have the time. It feels like we’re on the run. I can’t explain it. Remember how I wrote it gets darker out here? It still does. I feel like I’m caught in a nightmare.

I still haven’t received another letter. If you want me to stop, I just ask one thing of you: Let me know.

Because right now, you’re he only thing keeping me alive. The only reason I manage to get through. But I don’t want to be a burden to you any longer. I understand.

I want to write more, but I have to go.

Remember me as my best self, will you?

Yours, Silas

[oswinrps]

tessa & ava

      Tessa was incredibly relieved when Ava agreed to taking a walk with her. For a moment there she thought she might have ruined something before getting a chance to find out what it was. This was new, and awkward, and strange – Tessa was always bad at talking to new people. She either felt as if she talked too much or didn’t talk enough. As if others would label her as weird no matter how hard she tried to be someone they could like. She was pretty, she knew that much. Plenty of guys had tried to win her over already, much to the pleasure of her parents. But after talking to her for a while, they always ended up ignoring her, no matter how hard she tried to be normal and to hide that her preference lay in woman. It was a disappointment for her whole family, she knew as much – but Silas always protected her. He always made sure most guys wouldn’t even dare to come close so she had her peace and didn’t have to pretend that she wanted to marry them one day.

         Ever since he had been gone, Tessa felt even more like an alien among humans. Every day, she felt lonelier and more like an outsider. Her brother had been her rock, her safe haven, her best friend. Hearing Ava talk about him caused a pain to flare up in her chest that had reduced to a dull pounding over the years separated. Now, it was licking at her insides again, hot flames and piercing blades. But she tried not to let the pain show too much on her face as she started walking; away from the house and down the sidewalk. “Was he okay? When you last met?” Tessa couldn’t stop herself from asking the one question that was burning on her tongue the most. She needed to know that Silas had been okay, even if it had been a while since Ava last saw him, she hoped her brother had been okay when they separated ways. “I miss him a lot. He was like my best friend,” she admitted, a crooked smile on her lips as she fiddled with her fingers in front of her stomach. She didn’t know what else to do with them.

         It was hard to force herself to look at the road ahead instead of the beauty walking next to her, but once Ava spoke up again, Tessa turned her head to look at the other. She brushed a dark curl behind her ear that kept dancing in her face. “Don’t worry. I’m also bad at meeting other people,” she pointed out, a gentle smile on her lips. “How… how long have you been back home?”, she asked curiously. A part of her simply hoped this woman wouldn’t leave again so soon – what if Tessa ended up liking her, just to lose her again as it had been the case with her brother? The way her heart beat in her chest was enough of a sign that she was quickly getting attached onto this beauty, even if she hardly knew her. There was simply something about her aura that pulled Tessa in. “Is it bad over there?”, she added quietly, before realizing that might not be something someone just returning from war wanted to talk about. “I’m sorry. I wasn’t thinking. You don’t have to talk about it.”

Ava started to follow the brunette down the path, her eyes focused on the trail that her foot stepped. It was an easy distraction. She wanted to be around Tessa, and at the same time she was nervous of putting herself out there ── and she would see her as weird. According to Silas, though, they would hit off, and that had to mean something, right? He knew them both well. Ava just wanted to have someone again that she could trust. It felt that everyone that was once in her life were nothing but strangers. They didn’t fit── well, she didn’t fit her former life anymore. The more she tried, the less she was making progress.

“I made sure he was,” she proudly said this time, almost fondly remembering having to patch up Silas. Okay was relative, but he was alive and still talking through his elbows, and that was all she could ask. “──but it has been a couple months,” she admitted with some sadness on her voice. A couple of months could be an eternity on the battleground. At a blink of an eye, all was lost there. “We have something in common then──” she admitted, about him being her best friend too. Ava could also call Silas her best friend, more than anyone else who was once in her life. Every friend she had back home, every person she grew up with, every one else... No one knew the real Ava like Silas had met. She had to be facing death in the eye to be able to admit to another soul beyond a priest what was deepest in her soul. And the priest hadn’t been as kind as Silas was. In fact, no one had. “He is the bravest, kindest soul I’ve met.” Ava added. Maybe she wouldn’t be able to bring the girl any comfort, any reassurance that her brother was there, but she could let her know how he changed her life.

And it led her there, hadn’t he?

Tessa brought a smile to her face. Although for very different reasons, although it wasn’t even similar, she couldn’t help but smile at the woman’s word. Just like Silas, she also made her feel incredible normal. She agreed in silence. "A couple of weeks... honorable discharge.” She gently laughed, anxiously. That title didn’t mean much to her other than she had done a good job, but was too broken to go on. “I don’t think you’d like my answer very much...” Ava trailed off, reminded that Silas was still somewhere out there, in hell on Earth. That’s what a battlefield was ── hell. There was no hope, no light, just pain and death. At occasions, soldiers retreated to a safe haven, looking for their lights. You could watch them in camp,looking at pictures of loved ones, writing letters that might never be received, praying for a God that didn’t seem to listen. Ava wasn’t quite ready to tell everything about the war, but she had heard that question more than once to have become numb. People were curious; she couldn’t blame them. Nothing she read in the news painted an accurate portray of how horrible it was. “You don’t have to apologize, though, but I think that to tell you── it would make more harm than good,” she explained, unsure if she wanted to squash Tessa’s hope on her brother when she just got someone who had seen him. One last link to the soldier. “He would want you to live your life though...”

[oswinrps]

silas & thalia

SILAS & THALIA ; AFTER THE STORM. ( @oswinrps​ )

     Coming home had always sounded like such a glamorous idea in his head. It was the only thing that kept him alive, too. In his worst moments, Silas would picture coming home to be wrapped up in the arms of his family, and a particular brunette who had stolen his heart an eternity ago. But it had been nothing like that. His mother was crying, his father couldn’t look at him – and there had been no Thalia. Only Tessa’s arms enveloped him in the hug he had been starved for for so long, only to destroy the small high of being alive and back by telling him in a hushed voice all that he had missed.

                        The world had gone on without Silas.

      And he didn’t even blame it. He blamed no one, except maybe himself. For getting lost, for being called dead. For even giving the world a chance to move on from him. 

       He didn’t plan to stay in town for long after he heard of Thalia’s fate, no matter how much his sister begged him to. He wasn’t sure where he would go, and intended to only stay until he had figured that out. In the mean time, he tried his best to get his things in order. That day, he was out on the town because he needed new clothes. Nothing really fit him anymore, and everything was a reminder of his previous life. A shirt Thalia gifted him, pants he picked out with her. He didn’t need any more reminders that ripped his heart into pieces.

        Though if a shirt was already too much, this was a total disaster. He had just walked out of a store, empty-handed as he couldn’t really concentrate on his task at hand, and a few steps down the street, he was faced with the dream that kept him alive. She looked different. Of course she did, it had been so long now since they last saw each other. But it still took his breath away, and made it impossible for him to say a single thing.

It had been around two years since her wedding. Thalia would have been lying if she didn’t admit her life was better. 1943 was the year that Thalia lost the love of her life, and a part of her died along with him. She thought that she would never come back. All the plans and dreams she created for both of them, some of which she never shared with him, they were all gone. 

She was alone.

Yet, the world moved on, and Silas became her best and worst memory. It hurt ── it hurt like hell to think of him, of who they were, or where they would have been, but she had no other choice besides turn him into memory. He was gone. 

Life without Silas would never be one hundred percent, but she definitely bounced back from the grave she dug herself after his death. She had a better life than many others, even if she hadn’t been able to put a good use to her diploma. She ended up being everything her mother wanted ─ a wife, a mother, a housekeeper ─ a good girl. She had an good husband that would do anything for her, and the cutest little girl ever, Sylvia, the light of her life. If it hadn’t been for Sylvia, she wouldn’t feel how she did. The little girl was the reason she was still alive ── had she not been in their lives, Thalia would have drowned in too much sadness and sorrow to handle herself. 

Sylvia ── whose name was a a homage to Silas. The world might have forced Thalia to give up on Silas, but she would never let him go.

It was still a challenge to wake up every day and realize Silas wasn’t the one by her side, but Shawn had given her the world ─ and, as he said, his love was enough for him, so she tried to smile every day and be the best wife she could under her circumstances. That marriage was settlement, more to appease her family, to quiet the whispers, and hell, maybe distract herself. She was shattered, and no matter how hard he held, she wouldn’t be pulled together by him.

Thalia accepted, however, the disappointment of every morning.

The brunette grabbed Sylvia still sleeping and fastened her on the stroller so they could go to the streets to run some errands. The streets were crowded and she wondered if there was a reason. The war had been over for quite a couple of months, but it could still be soldiers arriving back home. Instinctively, she reached for Silas’ tag. She hadn’t truly taken off ever since she got. All those soldiers coming back, from foreigner lands, lost and found, but she would never get hers again. She shook her head to scare those thoughts away.

Slowly, she made a bee smile between people, watching some of the store window’s and speaking at her child that woke up from her slumber. She was distracted in her own little world, but when she finally looked up, Thalia felt her heart skip a beat in shock. She had been seen Silas everywhere she looked lately, but not as lively as he was there. Standing in front of her, in the middle of the streets, there was Silas Fairchild, her Silas, her dead fiancee. “Oh, God,” she whispered. She felt like she was going to faint –─ was that real? Her knuckles wrapped further strongly around the stroller’ handle. 

“Silas?” She called, walking towards him. It was him. It had to be him.

[oswinrps]

gabe & sam

Gabe offered a small in response to the gentle tease thrown his way. Nobody in his entire life dared call him a dork, but there he was, trapped in the warmth of Sam and knowing he would allow this blond man to call him whatever he desired. Such was the level of adoration he still held for Sam. And with the way things were starting to evolve, it wouldn’t really change any time soon.

When Sam stated that they should eat, Gabe agreed with a gentle nod and he pulled away, but not before he stole one last kiss, a gentle peck, as if he was unable to let go for too long. And he was. But he shifted back onto his seat beside his new lover and dug in for the first spoonful of his lasagne.

Thankfully it was tasty. Not perfect by any means, but tasty.

He couldn’t help a smile at the thought of a first date. His inner teenager was jumping in excitement at the thought of finally being able to go out with the man of his dreams. All those years and the thought of sharing a moment alone still thrilled him to no end.

“To be quite honest, I do not consider the gala a date. Or not a proper one, at least. A proper date, in my book, involves just the two of us doing something we both enjoy… Not being in public where you’ll be uncomfortable and I can’t get affectionate.”

How did they end up there? Funny enough, he expected them to fight again. He expected some yelling. He definitely didn’t expect the kiss, and he was definitely not expecting this to turn into the promise of a date. He wasn’t sure how it would go, but it was a hopeful start. "So a date it is── but still not a lot of public display of affection, Gabe.”

the end.

[oswinrps]

silas & thalia

       There was something crawling underneath Silas’ skin. Something bubbling in his stomach. In fact, there seemed to be a monster hiding away in his chest, and it was desperately clawing at the inside of his ribcage in an attempt to force him to tell Thalia how he felt. A monster that wanted to roar out in agony at the simple idea of Thalia being with someone else, of falling for someone else, of marrying someone other than him. It seemed that the closer his departure got, the more the monster inside of him was fighting to be freed. But Silas had every intention not to tell Thalia how he felt, because that could simply mean no good. Either she didn’t feel the same way and he’d leave home without the possibility to contact his best friend when he needed to. Or she’d end up telling him she felt the same way, and they’d be heartbroken over the distance once he had to leave.

        “No one’s good enough for you.” It was the only appropriate answer he could give without giving away what he really felt for her. She shouldn’t think she had to marry just some random guy. Or anyone, for that matter. He knew her parents probably weren’t too happy about the fact that he effectively scared away most guys, but he tried not to worry too much about that. As long as Thalia didn’t mind what he was doing, neither was he. “One or two grandchildren in the not so distant future? That sounds like a huge request.” Though he mostly thought that way because he wanted to be the one to help Thalia give her mother those grandchildren, and no one knew how long he’d be gone. “And here I was, thinking your mom loves me,” he added in a teasing manner, just to make his previous words sound less intense. The last thing he needed was for her to get an idea of how he really felt.

"Okay, so I will just be perpetually single,” Thalia laughed, masking the fact that she felt both flattered and afraid. Thalia wished she could read between the lines precisely, and she wished that he was saying that because she wanted her to be with him and only him. She expected to hear that no one was good enough for her because she was the one for him. She wanted him to promise to come back for her. Since she was five years old, she had stupidly envisioned a life with him── why had she decided to become such close friends? She had effectively excluded herself as a possible maid for him. “You know mom,” she shrugged it off, deciding not to extend on the matter. Maybe if she said more, she would end up saying too much. Silas could tell, though, when she was hiding something. He could read her mind, somehow. Years of friendship, she would tell. Or maybe she just wanted him to be the only person in the world who could reade and understand her. “She is just a bit upset that you keep all my possible suitors away.” She continued on the joke, because it was too dangerous to say the real reason. Her mom could see it through her and her feelings. “Listen, I will hold on the kids until you are back──” she tried to say playfully, the real reason being because he was the one. She just started shoving fries inside her mouth in a very unlady like manner. “ C’mon, we should go home, or for a walk,” she said, trying to eat her cheeseburger.

[oswinrps]

gabe & sam

Gabe welcomed the kiss in the same way you’d welcome a long lost friend: eagerly. He knew the second their lips touched that the fire never really faded, never even became ash and cinders. The fire was still very much burning and he was consumed by it through every motion of their lips. He was lost in the sensation of the man he loved being this close and he leaned into the touch shamelessly, as if this was the only thing in his life that made sense, that was worth seeing through.

“I disagree,” he added, eyes still closed as well, bathing in the warmth of his blond friend, unwilling to pull away either and letting their foreheads rest upon the other’s. “I’m certain that loving you will be the easiest thing I have ever done in my entire life.”

His hand didn’t left Sam’s thigh, but his thumb rubbed the area gently and lovingly. After a kiss, he didn’t feel like he needed to shy away from showing Sam his affection. In fact, he was so eager for it that he leaned in to steal yet another kiss from the blond, slow and devoted as if he could use his lips to convey the poems in his heart.

“We’ll be fine. I have no doubt that we can figure this out.“

"You’re such a dork,” she hummed, with his lips pressed against Gabriel’s. The words were low, hushed between the soft touch of the skin and heavy under their breathing. He rested one hand on top of Gabriel’s and another on the curve of his neck, brushing his thumb against the Italian’s cheek. Gabriel had always been so clear and outspoken about his feelings, but things weren’t easy for Sam. He had run away. He hadn’t been prepared. 

Not until this moment.

“Okay──” they should probably have a serious conversation about life and relationship, and about a lot of things that they beat around the bush, but for once, they had a good reason to avoid it, “we should eat.” Sam offered, thinking that it was another excuse. It was an excuse not to have a difficult conversation, which he didn’t want to have on their first get together, but it was a long time coming.

It had been decades. They couldn’t continue to fool each other. Sam’s feelings had been clear for a while── what he couldn’t deal was with everything Gabriel had been representing in his life. His life-changing decision had show that they were aligned (finally). Sometimes, things just happened at their own time.

“And I guess we should go on out first date although── you do consider the gala a date, don’t you?”

[oswinrps]

✉ leah → jack

LEAH: Lucky for you, you don't have to see me with someone.

LEAH: I know.

LEAH: That doesn't make it hurt less though.

JACK: 🙄

JACK: Can we talk about something better?

JACK: Because I don't know what I can do about that.

[oswinrps]

✉ william → thomas

WILLIAM: And that's kind of disappointing, don't you think?

WILLIAM: Sounds like a lot.

WILLIAM: Mine was okay too.

WILLIAM: But at least we got donuts for lunch. Even if that's a fucking cliché.

THOMAS: a lil bit, but we survived.

THOMAS: yeaaah, but I guess it's the life I picked.

THOMAS: I just want one of Polly's burritos, man. I could use a donut too. Send me pics next time.

THOMAS: or maybe i will just stare an window shop like a dog

[oswinrps]

✉ william → thomas

WILLIAM: i wish i could go 1500 km in one night though. that would be so cool

WILLIAM: how was your day?

THOMAS: Neither of us have turned into Flash since we were 7, Will.

THOMAS: It was.... a day. A lot of working out involved.

THOMAS: And boring food. God, during season my lunch can be so boring.

THOMAS: What about yours:

[oswinrps]

✉ william → thomas

WILLIAM: i don't know

WILLIAM: just hang out i guess?

THOMAS: that's what we are doing right now...

THOMAS: because i think neither of us can go 1500 km in one night

THOMAS: so texting will have to do it

[oswinrps]

✉ leah → jack

LEAH: it shows up on my feed. it's not like i can ignore it.

LEAH: Why is it no good for me?

LEAH: I don't know. It's hard to think it's not like that when I see stuff like this.

JACK: Didn't instagram have a mute option?

JACK: idk

JACK: I mean, I wouldn't like seeing you with someone...

JACK: It is not by choice, L.

[oswinrps]

✉ william → thomas

WILLIAM: i don't know yet.

WILLIAM: i thought maybe we could do something about it together.

THOMAS: oh

THOMAS: what do you want to do?

[oswinrps]

✉ leah → jack

LEAH: yeah, sure.

LEAH: why am i following my sister's insta? seriously?

LEAH: i know. i was just saying.

JACK: No, not following her, but you know... checking the pictures and stuff.

JACK: That's no good for you.

JACK: Just saying? What are you just saying?

[oswinrps]

✉ william → thomas

WILLIAM: are you awake?

WILLIAM: i can't sleep.

THOMAS: yeah, i am...

THOMAS: what are you doing then?