Otherworldly Patron Snom

Just an ordinary snom who sponsors warlocks on the side :)

[otherworldly-patron-snom]

(^cc^) Hi There!

(•cc•) I'm just an average lil' snom friend who just so happens to also have the ability to grant you power beyond your wildest dreams for the low low price of $24.99 and a can of whipped cream!

(^cc^) If you follow me and I follow back (which is honestly pretty likely), you automatically get a random ice-based power/magic, but making a specific contract with me through my askbox will tailor things to you more personally, so please do feel free to send asks as much as you want!

[otherworldly-patron-snom]

Whats mah power? :3 also how bad would it be to put pro gov tags on things callin out bad governmental practices as teensy protest

(•cc•) Fantastic idea and uhhhhhhhhhhhh here have and aura of cold that makes the Lizard peopl- I mean government officials die in your presence from lacking heat

[otherworldly-patron-snom]

Give me some kind of possession to make Me stronger

Rn I'm only a small snom and I'm trying to level up to level 2!

(•cc•) *hands you the tm for Icicle Spear*

[shoggothsnom-deactivated2024010]

I am eldritch snom, Imagine snom but like, 6x as many eyes

[gremlin-mom]

@otherworldly-patron-snom ayo check it

[otherworldly-patron-snom]

(^cc^) Hi there!

[wizard-council-bureaucrat]

why are you working with the news?

to spread my wopaganda (wizard propaganda)

[writing-prompt-s]

Apparently human blood has about the same amount of protein as the average protein shake. You just met Dracula at the local gym and he. is. absolutely. ripped.

[otherworldly-patron-snom]

(^cc^) Yeah we work out together sometimes, he's buff as hell and it's crazy

[lanaknowsitried0]

I never get a break

[wiliecoyotegenius]

Jonathan Harker

[bucketofcrows]

i love it when mathematicians use the word "invoke" to basically mean "use". like yes i am a wizard (mathematician) invoking powerful chain lightning spells (using fermat's little theorem) to cut down all who stand in my way (get rid of annoying exponents)

[otherworldly-patron-snom]

(UccU) That's why warlocks are better than wizards, they don't have to do math B)

[enlightenedshadowwizard]

[lmaonade]

100 dvds in your home

[jame7t]

99 dvds now

[lmaonade]

hey. dont eat that.

[otherworldly-patron-snom]

(•cc•) 26 left

[assassinationtipsforladies]

We need to bring back private rail cars as the cool, sexy, exclusive way to travel, so instead of dumping the carbon budget of a small nation in the global south on private jets, celebrities have to attach their luxury pull an cars to the back of an Amtrak. Then the celebrities will lobby for Amtrak lines to be better

Seriously when did this

Become sexier than this

Like isn't it nice to watch the scenery, to be able to open a window and have fresh air, to be able to stand up all the way, not have your ears pop?

[dduane]

Yes. :)

[agentpan]

thanks tumblr, maybe i will try ringworm if you dont have anything else

[pukicho]

come here

[otherworldly-patron-snom]

(^cc•) hey

[feaincorrectquotes]

She's doing her best

[girlblocker]

me if meowing was a sin tbh

[girlblocker]

& heres me if meowing was illegal

[mysonglady-deactivated20230606]

But it’s not so enjoy

[girlblocker]

so true, here i am happy and free because nobody can morally or legally stop me from meowing

[swichiethey]

this gave me the willpower to complete homework

[evilprincessrosee]

I am infact not cute

[gremlin-mom]

[gremlin-mom]

Yes u r

[evilprincessrosee]

proof???

[gremlin-mom]

Although they can’t currently access their tumblr account to back this information up due to some unforseen issues with their email, my Warlock patron has informed me that the council of patrons has come to a majority conclusion that you are, in fact, rather cute. Can you really refute the rulings of the council of warlock patrons? Methinksn’t

[evilprincessrosee]

whar

[gremlin-mom]

Omniscient beings have determined you are cute

[otherworldly-patron-snom]

(•cc•) I have returned from gmail purgatory to confirm that this is, in fact, correct. We of the Council of Patrons have determined that you as an individual do fall under the classification of "Cute"

[cadoized]

[what-even-is-thiss]

Yeah I saw the lovecraftian horrors and didn’t succumb to madness. What- no I’m not a cultist, James. For Christ’s sake. What you’re forgetting my friend is that HP Lovecraft wasn’t a flexible man. His brain simply wasn’t stretchy enough to take it all in. I however, have short term memory issues. Flexibility is the name of the game when you can’t remember if you ate lunch or not. What’s the size of the universe? Big. You knew that already, James. Come on now. You don’t need to witness the terrifying ocean at the base of the entirety of reality itself to know that. Pass the brandy.

[tippydoorman]