The words felt like a bucket of icy water falling over his head; unexpected, painful and quick to bring shivers with it.
“I’m not... acting. I really don’t care” He tried to swallow, but his throat clenched up and he suddenly felt like he might choke. it burnt. Right behind his eyes... weird.
Detached from his own emotions, if there was pain in his heart for what had happened between his brother and the one in front of him, he had only start it to felt it when staring into those blue eyes. It felt like a mirror of emotion - an ocean inviting him to show what not even he knew was hiding inside.
“I’m not his boyfriend. Never was. He never asked that of me.” he replied easily. being brothers... having so many rough patches and so many complicated circumstances, there was never a direct question. Just a tacit agreement. They liked each other. They wanted each other. So they just let the dice roll and acted accordingly.
“I don’t think you’re a ‘game’. He might be a piece of shit of a brother, but he wouldn’t purposefully hurt someone like you. Specially if you made a promise.” he started. He might care little about what surrounded him, but he wasn’t heartless enough to leave his brother’s important person hanging like that.
Stepping on his tiptoes, heels raised from the floor and supporting himself on the counter he looked at the blond with bright red eyes “Just so we’re clear, you are the main thing. Not me. Anija and me... we’ve always been a bit... dysfunctional as a family. We don’t know how to properly measure the distance between us.” He talked a bit low, as if to not be heard by unpleasant ears, but he was serious in each word.
“We got into this mess because I could never let him go. But I just can’t be anija’s special person... I’m his brother. A bothersome luggage that will keep dragging him down. You, however, you can walk at his same pace. You can help him move forward.”
Weird, his throat hurt. His eyes felt like burning, and his eyesight was getting blurry. Just... what in hell was going on?
“So, don’t take it too harsh on him? He needs his actual boyfriend to support him.”