figuring it out

Probably reading

[stay-close]

He had the awkward tenderness of someone who has never been loved and is forced to improvise.

— Isabel Allende, The House of The Spirits

[catlosttheface]

I just want dark wooden floors and an impressive book collection.

[amargedom]

““The person you’re meant to be with will never have to be chased, begged or given an ultimatum. ””

—

[naturaekos]

““Where there is a will, there is a way. If there is a chance in a million that you can do something, anything, to keep what you want from ending, do it. Pry the door open or, if need be, wedge your foot in that door and keep it open.””

—

[neckkiss]

Annie Hall (1977)

[neckkiss]

“The quickest way to get someone’s attention is to no longer want it”

— Anonymous

[thewordsyouneverunderstood]

I want a love that wakes up every morning and feels lucky to have me. I want a love without hesitation, without doubt. A love that can say, “yes, yes I am in love with you” without having to stutter at the question. I want a love that keeps me safe, but that at the same time pulls me towards the things that I am too scared to do alone. I want a love that holds my hand, that says “I am here, I am here”. A love that never lets me forget it. I want a love that never makes me feel alone, a love that understands, or at the least, tries to. I want a love that never curses me out in the middle of the street, a love that never frightens me. A love that uses their voice kindly, a love that understands my body still remembers what it is like to be dragged out into the mud of everything unholy. I want a love that knows I will always carry that trauma with me, a love that never asks me to ‘just get over it’. I want a love that understands not all the poems will be about them, a love that understands that there was something before this, before him, and it wasn’t always kind. wasn’t always a good place to be, wasn’t where my heart was safe. A love that understands I must tell these stories, a love that understands my survival depends on this. I want a love that always calls me back. A love that moves its own feet towards apologies whenever and wherever they are needed. I want a love that takes my hands and says, thank you. A love that appreciates me. A love that knows that although I am a woman drowned in sorrow and grief, I am still here, and I am still trying. I want a love that is my personal hype man, a man that doesn’t just tell me I am beautiful, but makes me feel it. A love that says, “ you are kind”, “you are smart”, “you are capable of anything”. I want a love that stands up first in a crowd full of people for me, even if they must stand alone. I want a love that isn’t afraid of what the rest of the world thinks, because they know that love is better without boundaries. A love that knows that love is better when you stop caring about what other people think of it. A love that doesn’t look for other people’s approval to love me. I want a love that never makes me feel unworthy. I want a love brave enough to stay, a love that wants to stay, a love that says, “things aren’t always easy, but this is where my heart is, this is where I want to be”.

[thewordsyouneverunderstood]

On the day you were born, something collapsed in outer space. Still your mother forgets all about the things that happened outside of that hospital room on that day. On that day, she can only think about it as the first time she willingly put her needs aside for someone who was well worth it. I know you forget that sometimes. On the days when the world is falling at your feet in a way you can’t be thankful for- you are quick to forget. I don’t blame you. It’s easier to. On the day you were born, something collapsed in outer space.this was your welcoming. as if even the sky knew nothing would be the same again, as if even the universe knew you would change the world for those with whom you shared space with. And although your mother was the first to love you unconditionally, there will be many others after her. Don’t you ever let yourself forget it. 

[yuyuuyuyuu-deactivated20230726]

[mausspacearchive]

fuck summer i want it to be dark and misty and frigid and october

[mykgthco444]

there’s love in long messages. in late night phone calls. love when laughs echo around us. when we dance. there’s love woven into your “i saw this and thought of you” or “i can give you the space you need” or “i am here”. there’s love in your eyes when you understand. and in your smile when you don’t but still try to. it’s in the food we share. flowing through the tips of our fingers when we touch. and intertwining when our thoughts flow together. there’s love captured in our photographs and even better, in our memories. days pass and there is love. always love, still.

[dollydiamond]

“i want you. and i don’t just mean physical. i want you when you’re bursting with happiness and i want you when you feel so sad you can’t get out of bed. i want you when it pours down with rain and i want you when the sun decides to come out. i want to know who means the world to you, who inspires you, who you never want to speak to again. i want to learn about past events and i want to create new experiences together. i want to understand how you think and how you feel. i want so much to be there to love you when you need me and want you to know i’ll be here no matter what when you don’t. i want you to know that even through rocky times, i’ll always be here wanting you.”

— i just want you to want me too. (via thingsmustpass)

[the-greentext-guy]

[sensitivesuggestions]

I crave love in the most innocent of ways, I crave to say goodnight, and give forehead kisses and overly tight hugs. I want to lay beside you, and be wrapped around you. As nothing more and nothing less.

[especially]

[gollumunchkin]

i just love ‘gloomy’ weather. i love clouds, fog, rain, crisp air, SNOW.. love love lovee LOVE

[lovelysuggestions]

I deserve to love and to be loved.